CHAPTER TWELVE
Gwenllian expelled a big breath before she opened the wooden shutters to her window. She leant outside, drawing the cool night air into her lungs, and blinked. She had not expected this, not tonight after Ralph had performed spectacularly well in the mêlée. Yet the moment she heard a sound of something hitting her shutter, she knew that he was here, somewhere below. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, trying to ascertain where Ralph was, but once again he was much closer that she had thought.
‘Good evening, my lady.’ His deep, low voice rumbled through her from somewhere beneath the canopied branches of the tree, close to the window.
‘I did not think to see you, Ralph. Not tonight,’ she hissed. ‘I thought that you would be celebrating with the de Clancey retinue.’
‘And so I was until I decided to take a diversionary tour of the castle.’
‘Did you, indeed? And yet I believed you to be quite familiar with all it has to offer.’
‘Alas, not familiar enough.’
She felt her skin prickle and flush. Lord, but her reactions to him were ridiculous.
‘I had never realised you had such a penchant for hiding in the darkness.’ Her lips twitched. ‘Will you not step out from under it?’
‘Very well.’
Gwen grinned as Ralph leant across and tilted his head, returning her smile. She marvelled how his handsomeness was not lessoned in any way by those scars zigzagging across the right side of his face.
‘Good evening to you, too, Ralph. I am still trying to determine why you hide in shadows and under branches thick with leaves?’ She had hoped her voice had been somewhat light and teasing, yet he replied earnestly.
‘I know what I am, Gwen, what I was and what I still need to be,’ he murmured softly. ‘The scars that I carry may be grotesque, but they serve to bring back to mind everything that happened...lest I forget.’ She watched as he rubbed his fingers over them roughly.
‘I’m sorry, I did not mean to...’
‘I know.’ He smiled. ‘And at least they don’t scare every child I meet. William Tallany, for instance, admires them greatly.’
‘I can imagine.’
It was remarkable that Ralph could dispense with any notion of regret despite the horrors that he must have experienced in Aquitaine when she could not move past the horrors that she had experienced at Kinnerton. That she still carried with her.
‘So, tell me whether this diversionary tour of yours has been to your liking?’
‘It has certainly been different.’
‘Oh, how so?’
‘Well, for one, being perched on a tree from this high vantage point does put a distinctive perspective on things.’ He moved along the branch to get closer to her, balancing a little precariously. ‘It makes a man realise how insignificant and fallible he is, especially if he were to fall.’
‘Careful,’ she said trying to keep the worry out of her voice. ‘What was your other insightful understanding?’
‘Ah, well, that would be for this. The opportunity to talk to you so freely.’
She bit her lip and dropped her head before turning her attention back to him. ‘I must congratulate you, Ralph. You did splendidly well today, you know.’
‘And yet I must come here directly for your congenial compliments as you were absent at the banquet or anywhere else for that matter. I hope that you are well and that I am not intruding on your evening?’
‘I am perfectly well, sir, and you are not intruding on anything.’
‘I’m glad to hear that.’ He dragged his long legs and dangled them over the thick branch of the tree that just about supported his large frame. ‘In that case, could I tempt you to go for a ride on horseback...with me?’
‘Now? At this time?’ Her eyebrows shot up. She hadn’t expected this. ‘Do you not think it might be a little late for horseback riding?’
‘Mayhap, but it seems also possible that this evening has not been diversionary enough.’ He chuckled, looking so much younger and so much like the Ralph she remembered.
‘Sadly, I have no taste for such diversions.’
‘Come now, it might be late and the time may not be conducive to riding, but where is your sense of adventure, Gwenllian ferch Hywel?’
‘How well you say my name. Yet you must know that I left that on that cliff-edge near Kinnerton and the Welsh borders so long ago, when I almost toppled down the ridge.’
‘Oh, Lord, I forgot about that!’ He dragged his fingers through his hair. ‘Do you remember how I caught you by the scruff of your cloak?’
‘Yes, I do. It was both terrifying and so ridiculously funny. We collapsed into a peal of hopeless laughter, once you dragged me to safety.’
And into his arms... It had also been the first time that Ralph had kissed her—so sweet, so wondrous, filled with wistful promises of a future together. She heard him clear his throat, making her wonder whether he had been thinking about the same memory.
‘I do remember that we got very lost on the way back to Kinnerton as the path we took had flooded.’
‘And got back very late in the dead of night, much to your father’s consternation. Had he not sent guards in search of us?’
‘He had, if my memory serves, much to his chagrin.’ He frowned but then lifted his head. ‘Well?’ ‘Are you coming, my lady? Shall we get lost together?’
‘I am not so sure it would be a good idea, Ralph.’
‘Well, I must say, that is a shame.’ He descended down the next branch below. ‘Since there was a time when I recall that you’d welcome such an impulsive expedition, but no matter... I’m sure I’ll enjoy my horseback ride just as much alone...with no other company but my horse.’
He let the moment stretch, emphasising his point further.
‘Very well.’ She chuckled. ‘I’ll come, but only so you do not have to suffer being alone and having no one but your horse for company.’
He smirked. ‘I’m very much obliged to you, Gwen.’
‘Wait while I dress as a squire, Ralph. I think it prudent to do so.’
‘If you so wish, but hurry, my lady.’
‘Only if you assist in helping me down. I have no head for heights, as you may also recall.’
‘Don’t worry, Gwen. I’ll be here to catch you if you fall.’
* * *
They made their way carefully down the tree, around the castle wall and through the damp gatehouse shrouded under their dark cloaks, their heads bent low. Ralph fetched his huge black destrier and brought him around to where Gwen was standing, keeping watch.
‘Here he is. Meet Fortis.’
‘Oh, he’s magnificent.’
Ralph grinned, dragging his hand up and down the animal’s muzzle. ‘That he is, are you not, my friend.’
Gwen tried to also pat the horse, but he jerked away. ‘Temper? Or is he a little nervous?
‘Probably a bit both.’ Ralph chuckled. ‘That could be why we get on so well. Isn’t it, boy?’
‘I see. And is he brave?’ she asked, holding out her hand and allowing the horse to come to her, before she could smooth down its velvety flank.
‘I believe so.’ He nodded. ‘I doubt I could have got through the many challenges I’ve faced without him.’
‘How long has he been with you?’
‘Since Poitiers.’ He nuzzled the horse, scratching him along his neck. ‘I reared him from when he was an anxious young foal, who no one seemed to care for.’
‘Except you, Ralph. You always had a way with jittery animals.’
He shrugged. ‘It was nothing that a bit of encouragement, patience and care couldn’t solve. But don’t be fooled by him. Beneath his gruff manner, he’s a softy really.’
‘Like his master?’
‘I could not say, my lady.’ He smiled wryly as he mounted t
he horse, holding out his hand. ‘Shall we put him through his paces?’
‘Yes. Let’s.’
* * *
It was a wonderful feeling, galloping along the open fields, wrapped in Ralph’s strong arms, as he gripped on to the reins tightly from behind her. She felt secure. She felt safe, here alone with Ralph, riding nowhere in particular in the dead of night. Gwen pulled the hood of her cloak down, and felt the cool night breeze against her skin.
The rush of riding at high speed across the hilly valley that gently rolled into the thicket under the full moon allowed her a sense of freedom that she rarely felt. This wonderful, exhilarating sensation that stirred her blood and put colour on her cheeks made her feel alive.
For the first time in a long time she was not weighed down by the burdens of her secrets.
‘You’re very quiet this evening.’ She felt Ralph’s breath brush against the side of her neck.
‘I was just thinking the same about you.’
‘Mayhap we are both consumed by our own reflections.’
‘Or possibly that we are so enthralled by such vigorous exercise that it somehow removes the need for conversation.’
‘Aye, just so.’ He chuckled. ‘That would be the reason.’
‘In case that is a wrong assumption, what were these reflections of yours?’ she said over her shoulder, without realising that he had leant so close his lips were a fraction away from the skin on her nape.
‘My reflections are from the past, I suppose, merged with ones forged from being reacquainted with you again. Here at this tournament.’
‘Then there is much to contemplate.’
‘Either way, Gwen, I’m glad to be away from it all for just a moment, with you and Fortis as company.’
‘Thank you. Yet I would have thought you’d have wanted to celebrate with your friends after your success earlier.’
‘Trust me—’ his deep low murmur rumbled through her ‘—there is no other place I would rather be than right here with you.’
As did she. God above, despite all her best intentions to stay away, Gwen was enjoying being here with Ralph far more than she should. It granted something precious to her, otherwise, bleak life. It must be the freedom of riding on horseback again, away from the stifling atmosphere of the tournament...as well other unpleasantness. But Gwen didn’t want to be reminded of any of that. Not tonight.
They rode down the steep hill, still within the demesne of Castle Pulverbatch, and slowed to a canter as the path gradually led to a thick dense coppice.
‘I wish I had thought to bring something to drink. I cannot think why I’m so parched.’
‘Well, it’s just as well that I brought some ale.’
‘That is most thoughtful.’
Ralph dismounted and helped her down, his fingers flexed around her waist a moment longer than really necessary, the heat imparting from his hands spreading through her body. He caught her gaze and gave her a slow smile that made something inside her unfurl. This reaction to Ralph bewildered her and was something quite different, this breathlessness, to anything she had ever experienced when they had been younger. It befuddled her senses.
‘Here.’ He handed the flagon from his saddlebag. ‘I think the exercise has brought on a glow to your face, Gwen.’
‘And hence the necessity to cool down.’
‘That is not what I meant, my lady.’
‘No?’ She raised the flagon before taking a sip. ‘To your favourable victory today, Ralph. I’m very happy for you.’
She passed the flagon back to him, licking a drop of the drink from her lips, and watched as Ralph took a swig and swallowed as he moved to fetch something else from the saddlebag.
‘I’ve also brought some provisions to sustain us.’ His voice sounding strangely hoarse.
‘It seems that you have thought of everything in advance of this diversionary endeavour to “get lost”.’
‘There’s nothing like being prepared.’
‘Yes.’ She smiled. ‘I’m embarrassed to say that I have come empty handed.’
‘No need, I’ve brought everything we might want.’
Ralph passed a few parcels of food, wrapped in cloth and tied securely with string, his fingers grazing hers briefly, sending another wave of awareness through her. He cleared his throat, threw down a small blanket and allowed her to do the honours. She sat and unfolded the soft bundles. There was chicken, a small round of cheese, apples and rolls of bread.
A veritable feast under the moonlight.
They both tucked into the repast in silence. Gwen noticed his smouldering gaze on her as she nibbled a small portion of the cheese. She exhaled slowly, as her stomach flipped on itself. Oh, what foolishness. It was Ralph de Kinnerton who was sat across from her. Ralph, the boy she had known for most of her life.
Yet he was anything but a boy, he was a man in his prime. She gave her head a little shake and attempted to steer her thoughts back to a safer track.
‘You certainly have come prepared.’
‘I had to. In anticipation that anything and everything may occur.’
‘Is that your usual strategy? This consideration to your life now or...’ Gwen paused, unable to voice the other reason. That he anticipated how things might develop between them, even though they couldn’t, she reminded herself.
‘Or what, my lady?’
‘Nothing, I just wanted to understand the extent of your preparations.’
He rubbed his jaw, his fingers lingering over his scars before answering. ‘After surviving such a brutal attack, that frankly I should have foreseen, I now tread carefully in everything I do.’
‘Even climbing up and down trees.’
‘Especially that.’ He winked. ‘Everything is done with meticulous planning and gruelling practice, where once I would have relied far more on impulsiveness and trust.’
‘Admirable.’ She frowned. ‘But surely your incredible advancement has not only built your resolve and tenacity, but the belief that you can also now rely on instinct as well.’
‘You sound like Will.’ He chuckled softly. ‘Yes, instinct can come into play, but on its own can lead to impetuousness resulting in danger.’
‘Ah, but not if you include the gruelling practice that you mention. Along with intense discipline and the diligence needed to succeed.’
‘Just so.’
‘Yet this, tonight, seems far more impulsive than you give yourself credit for, Ralph.’
‘I’m not a saint, Gwen, but a man...a warrior.’ His words were low and husky. His smile, slow and sensual. It licked down the length of her body, making her shudder.
She flicked her eyes to his and caught the heat, that fervent desire that he seemed to find difficult to hide. It was unbidden, raw and unfettered, but it did not frighten her. And why would it? This was Ralph. A man who was so familiar and yet wildly different from the one she once knew. And one who made her long for things she should not long for. Good grief, he made her heart beat with such intensity she felt as though she might swoon.
‘I hope you are not cold.’
‘I am perfectly fine,’ she mumbled, looking away.
Ralph appeared not to have heard her. He shot up and strode towards Fortis, retrieving a small woollen blanket from the saddlebag and draping it over her shoulders. His large hands skimmed her shoulders briefly.
‘Just in case.’
‘My thanks,’ she said a little too breathlessly, trying to quell this growing tension between them. ‘It is a little nippy, I suppose.’
Gwen took another bite of food, trying to compose herself and think of something...anything to say. She wondered whether he could sense these unwarranted feelings that she had. God, she hoped not. It would be unwise to draw attention to them, much less share them with him.
‘I’m happy that this can
now erase any doubts you may have had about your abilities, Ralph.’
‘Ah, but has it?’ He sighed deeply. ‘The truth is closer to this, Gwen, I harness any doubt that I have to what I hope can drive me forth.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Living with the constancy of doubt, I can only do one thing other than throwing down my sword and shield in defeat—to use it to redress the balance in my favour.’
She raised her brow. ‘That is an interesting way to view it.’
‘Indeed. I realised that it was the only way for me. Either that or grow complacent, which would only lead to failure, something I can hardly afford.’
‘Well, you are certainly succeeding, however you are doing it.’
‘I do hope so,’ he drawled.
Did the man even realise the effect he was having on her?
Gwen took a deep breath and stood. ‘Show me.’
‘I’m at a loss, my lady. What would you like me to show you?’
‘Er...well...’ Gwen grappled for something to say and went with the first thing that popped into her head. ‘What about showing me a combative move?’
‘I beg your pardon?’ His lips seemed to twitch as though he was suppressing a smile.
She committed to her proposal, feeling none of it and knowing it to be the distraction it was. ‘You are a valiant warrior knight. Show me anything you like that could be used in combat.’
‘You would like me to show you, now? In the middle of the night?’
‘I showed you how to make marks on a parchment, did I not?’ She shrugged. ‘I believe it is now your turn to return the favour, sir. Anyway, the full moonlight provides enough light out here in the open, does it not?’
‘Indeed. How can I refuse?’ He smiled, standing to face her. ‘Very well. Let’s see now, we need a couple of long sticks to act as swords.’
Gwen turned on her heel and scoured the ground in search of what they needed, using the brief lapse of time to temper her beating heart.
‘Er... Gwen?’
She could hear him from behind, but waved her hand absently. ‘Give me a moment, please, Ralph.’
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