‘Gwen, if you’d care to...’
‘I’m sure I can find a couple of sticks.’ She moved further away.
‘Gwenllian?’
She didn’t reply, but continued to look, when a long stick perfect for what they needed landed at her feet, thrown from somewhere behind. She spun around, her forehead furrowed in the middle, and saw Ralph holding a similar stick to the one he’d thrown.
‘Ah, well done,’ she said, feeling a little foolish. ‘You found them.’
He grinned. ‘Shall we start?’
They went through a few basic rudimentary moves which were far more exacting than Gwen had considered. For some reason the words Ralph uttered did not seem to connect with the moves she was supposed to make. Or it could be more that her eyes were otherwise fixed to his lips, as if they were casting a spell on her, calling her to him. Enough! She frowned and tried to focus.
‘Pardon me, but could you repeat that, please?’ she said instead.
‘Of course.’
‘I never imagined it to be this difficult.’
‘Ah, but I’m certain that a woman of your skill and ability can rise to the challenge.’
‘I’m not so sure about that. I cannot remember everything you have said for me to do.’
‘Try not to recall the actual words, only the feeling behind the sentiment. Allow yourself to be at one with your weapon.’
‘I’ve always wanted to be at one with...a stick.’
‘Come now, Gwen, focus,’ he admonished. ‘Stand with a little more space between your legs, so that you can move easily in any direction when need be. And try to be light on your feet.’
‘Like this?’ Gwen stood to attention, her legs apart.
‘Very good.’ He nodded. ‘Now, lean forward, a little more, and hold your weapon out in front of you ready to strike, moving into it as you do. Either thrusting like this.’ He motioned with his stick, moving it in the air. ‘Cutting, like so. Or this—a slashing move.’ He showed her each attacking stance.
‘Then there’s also the riposte.’
‘Riposte?’ She looked up. ‘And what is that?’
‘A counter-defensive move designed to befuddle your opponent.’ He smiled at her knowingly. ‘Here, try to use any of those three striking moves to attack me and I shall show you.’
She angled the stick to slash, cut and even thrust, but each of the newly acquired manoeuvres were countered and pushed away until Ralph swung around to a different position and lunged low on his knee and thrust his weapon forward with such force that it made her drop her stick.
‘Like so.’
‘A very effective move.’
‘Precisely. Although this can be met with a counter-riposte after the parry is met head on, with another in response.’
‘I see.’ But not as much as she wanted to.
‘The timing of each strike is also important, so that they are made with precision rather than being aimless, ineffective and redundant.’
They started to circle one another. ‘Well, there is certainly a lot to remember.’
‘Quite.’
For such a large man, it was quite disconcerting how easily Ralph prowled and moved lithely around her.
‘There is also feinting, like so when I step back, lulling you into a false sense of feeling secure in your endeavour.’
‘How provoking you are.’
‘That is the whole point, Gwen.’ He stepped back, his moves almost deceiving her. ‘Good now, keep up the attack, changing and switching it up.’
‘Like so?’
‘Yes. Watch how I can turn your strike into a blunder, while switching the situation in my favour and overwhelming you.’
She tried to attack in the way he had shown her, but he was too quick for her.
‘Very diverting, I must say.’
His lips twitched in an obvious attempt not to laugh. ‘Shall we stop?’
He paused anyway, his grip loosening on the stick.
‘No.’ She lunged at him, hoping to catch him off guard, but Ralph was prepared for her clumsy attack. She saw mild surprise, but also a touch of approval as well.
‘Very well, if you wish to continue.’
‘I do.’
The slow, measured pace quickened, matching the vigour and this new rush of warmth flowing through her veins.
‘That’s good, my lady.’ He stepped back, allowing her to push forward. ‘However, you are lacking the necessary spark and spirit.’
She narrowed her eyes and attempted to replicate the fluid movements he had shown her moments ago.
‘That’s it, well done. Now, try letting go of all that tension that you have held on to, Gwen.’
Oh, Lord, did he know? Could he tell that she was carrying the weight of the past, being back here to the very place where it had all begun?
‘Yes. All that unwanted aggravation that has been locked up inside you. Let it go, Gwen. Let it all slip away.’
His words pounded in her head and thrummed through her body with force. This unknown quality that was unleashed from within. Suddenly she was attacking with more ferocity and intensity.
And it felt surprisingly good. Surprisingly freeing.
They continued to step around each other in this fluid sparring dance.
‘Is this enough spark and spirit?’
‘Yes, very good.’ He chuckled. ‘However, I believe it is time we should stop.’
‘I don’t think so, not when I have just found my feet.’ She hurled herself forward, knowing she was getting carried away, but what harm could it bring?
‘Er... Gwen, you have certainly done well, but I think that is enough.’
‘Not when I’m gaining an advantage.’
‘Is that what you have?’ He sighed, showing her clearly how deceptive her advantage really was. ‘Let me tell you that there is a wild look in your eyes, my lady.’
‘What of it? You inspired this display, did you not?’
‘True.’ He smiled. ‘The fault lies with me, but we should now cease this display.’
‘No, not yet.’ Gwen was not done here. There was far more that she needed to let go of. Something inside had ripped opened and now there was no holding back.
‘Come now, my lady, let us stop.’
Over and over she continued to thrash out, using the cutting and slashing moves to push him away.
‘Enough, Gwen.’ He shook his head. ‘You cannot allow anger to govern you.’
‘Is that what you had to do to master the anger you felt? The impulsiveness that you once had.’
He defended her attacks without much effort, making her push forward more.
‘I had to learn to rein in and contain that anger so that I can use it to my own advantage.’
‘And have you succeeded?’
‘I am still diligently working on it.’
‘Highly commendable.’ She threw herself into attacking him with everything she had.
‘Gwen, stop this,’ he said softly.
But she didn’t want to listen. All that anger, pain, grief and anguish that had been contained for so long needed release. That pent-up frustration needed to drain away from her. And it was actually working. Gwen continued to deliver more punishing thrusts, until the decision to stop was made for her.
Ralph moved so effortlessly and tripped her in an expedient, fluid way that one moment she was standing, the next she had fallen on top of him with a thud. How he had managed to turn so that he cushioned her fall, landing on the ground instead, she would never know.
‘I’m sorry, my lady, but I fear that if I do not put a stop to this, I might end up getting clobbered.’
‘Very unsporting. I cannot believe you just did that,’ she gasped, frowning at him. ‘What new tricks you have learnt.’
And then quick as a flash he rolled them around so that now he was on top of her.
‘True.’ He smiled slowly. ‘I sometimes surprise even myself.’ And before she could grapple with his meaning, Ralph dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers, surprising Gwen as well.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
This was not the first time that he had kissed her, but for all of Ralph’s assured, assertive boldness it might as well have been. His lips were soft, sensual and warm as they learnt the shape of hers, far more than ever before. He began a slow seduction of her lips, showing her a different way than any before, as though his kiss could somehow erase the uncertainty that always dogged her. He was asking her to be bold and find her own courage. To forge a new beginning.
He stroked and caressed her lips, teasing her to kiss him back, willing her to take a chance. And then she did.
Gwen wanted to savour this, reacquainting herself with the pattern of his mouth and the languid impression it made on hers. A moan escaped her lips and he caught it in his mouth, smothering and growling in return. He cradled her head, tilting it up to gain better access as he coaxed her lips to open. Her eyes widened in shock as his tongue licked inside her mouth, tasting her. Hot, wet and incredibly delicious, tangling with hers.
This was unlike anything she had ever known, he was devouring her, consuming her. Everything altered and shifted with this kiss. It became carnal, wanton and heady. Her fingers dived into his hair, holding him close. He pulled away to nip her bottom lip, touching it with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. He nipped, kissed and licked his way along her jaw, her neck, the slope of her breasts. His sinewy hard chest pressed against her, his hands grazing down her soft curves, around the small of her waist, flaring to her hips. Suddenly he stopped abruptly. His kisses, too, softened, becoming more probing, questioning. In answer she pushed gently against his chest and ended the kiss, trying desperately to steady herself and her tumultuous feelings.
Ralph moved away and sat beside her, expelling a long, slow breath. The silence stretched in the darkness as neither could voice what had caught alight so quickly and burned so vividly between them. It was bewildering and shocking to be so receptive to such earthly pleasures. Pleasures that she had forsaken and were not meant for her.
Heavens above, but Gwen was bound on another course and it would be well for her to remember that, rather than succumbing to these temptations of the flesh.
‘Shall we return back, my lady?’ His voice pierced through her conflicting thoughts.
Gwen turned her head and sank her teeth into her bottom lip, the lingering taste of Ralph still on her. She licked her lips and shook her head.
‘Can we stay just a little longer?’ She shrugged. ‘It’s a beautiful eventide and I’m reluctant to resume...well, everything I have to resume.’
‘Very well.’
Gwen lay back on the blanket and stared up. The luminosity of the moon hung over the night sky, adding its own particular enchantment. Oh, yes, she wanted to soak up the magic of this evening just a little longer. It would be so easy to run back to her chamber and pretend that she hadn’t enjoyed this interlude with Ralph. As though she could pretend to be unmoved by what had just happened, even it had been just a kiss.
In truth, it was far more than that.
Her body was still singing in the aftermath, yearning for more. But that would not do. Gwen should not have allowed it—not allowed a glimmer of something that could not be between them. It would be unfair to both of them. She might be intent on new beginnings, but it was not the one that Ralph had inadvertently alluded to tonight. Yet she was reluctant to move from this place and return to the path she had set out for herself.
* * *
Ralph sighed deeply and lay beside her, his head touching hers, wondering whether he should apologise. She had locked herself up again behind the wall she had built, so rigidly, that it was difficult to penetrate. Yet he had just moments ago.
Mayhap he should not have done it, but he couldn’t resist her as she lay beneath him with that look of indignation on her face. He had to wipe it away and a kiss was as sure a way to do that as any other. He had not missed her reaction to him—that same desire and longing that coursed through his blood as well. And she had welcomed his kisses and returned them with so much ardour and passion that, in the end, he was forced to stop what he had started and allow her a moment to gather herself. Otherwise they would have both tumbled over a precipice, with no recourse. He did not want to take away that decision, especially after only recently reacquainting with one another again.
He opened his mouth to say words that needed to be said when her hand found his, her fingers lacing through, giving them a gentle reassuring squeeze.
‘Please do not say anything,’ she murmured. ‘Not about what just happened.’
‘Very well.’ But, no, he couldn’t think of a way to dispel the awkwardness. His whole being, body and soul, was still throbbing with need. Ralph wanted her like no other time before. He wanted her at his side, in his bed, together...
Hell’s teeth.
Instead, he would lie here beside her in the quietness of the night, with her hand in his, trying to push away these redundant thoughts.
‘Do you know,’ she whispered, breaking the silence, ‘it has been a very long time since I stared at the night sky.’
‘What do you see?’ he whispered.
‘A vast endless chasm.’
His lips tugged at the corners. ‘Ah, I’m impressed at your observation.’
‘I hope you’re not mocking me, Ralph de Kinnerton?’
‘Not in the least. I’m admiring such a lyrical ode to the moon, the stars and that endless night.’
‘You ask to be privy to my thoughts and then deride them? For shame.’
‘No, just a little teasing, I assure you.’ He lifted her hand to his lips as she smiled, shaking her head.
‘You know, Ralph, you were quite right earlier when you mentioned our insignificance compared to such incredible wonder.’
‘Yet I was looking down from the tree, rather than up at the heavens. I was realising the enormity of what I still need to achieve.’ He sighed. ‘My observations were the magnitude of earthly, more temporal considerations rather than divine ones, Gwen.’
This was the moment that he could ask her to tell him everything. Disclose the very things that he still did not understand about Gwenllian ferch Hywel. He wanted so much to gain an insight, a possible reason why Gwen wanted to take the veil, and here was the chance. She could confide in him and explain her calling, using the same language, same passion that she had shown when she had described the processes needed to create the pages of her decorative parchment.
Yet, would she?
Ralph doubted it. For that same passion she showed in her intricate art where she evidently left pieces of herself, hell, even the way she kissed were from an earthlier proclivity.
Nothing, nothing in the way she behaved expressed a calling that he would assume that she would have. However hard he tried, Ralph could not see her take vows that would renounce worldly goods and devote herself solely to prayer.
Then again, it was possible that it had more to do with him and the difficulty he was having in accepting the idea of Gwen taking the veil. He found it hard to reconcile himself to that. The night’s sky might be endless as Gwen described, but this, their time together, would soon be over.
Ralph allowed the silence to extend as he stared at those same damn stars, wondering on everything that had happened this night. He tried to settle into the tranquillity, this stillness that had descended after the gruelling difficulty of the mêlée, after sparring with Gwen...after kissing her senseless.
God, how he wanted to kiss her again, his whole body, tight with need.
Ralph should be at peace, lying on the ground beside her with her hand in his, yet the questio
ns were burning inside him. He felt anything but tranquil.
‘Gwen?’ He turned his head. ‘Why didn’t you come with me that night I left Kinnerton? Why did you stay behind?’
She swallowed uncomfortably.
‘I... I believe I told you. Did I not?’
He could see it on her face. Her mounting anxiety flickered like a flame. Ralph felt like shaking her into talking to him, but tempered his voice instead.
‘No, I’m afraid that I never did understand your reasoning. I still do not, my lady.’
She sat up and tried to untangle her hand from his, but he held on to it, refusing to let her withdraw. This was a way for Gwen to evade answering him again. But ever since they had found each other again, and become close, he had wanted to know.
Why had she not gone with him? It was a question that plagued him, even after all this time.
Ralph could still recall the heightened emotions of six years ago when he had been forced to hide in the woods outside Kinnerton Castle. His cousin had taken control of the whole area after Ralph and a few of his men had gone to bring back his father’s body, after the old lord had died in vain trying to plead his innocence from the charges of treason. And by the time Ralph had returned, his ancestral castle and lands had been lost. Ralph remembered getting a message through to Gwen, with great difficulty, to meet him in the woods and the relief he’d felt at seeing her well and unharmed. But then it had all gone disastrously wrong when she had refused to run away with him.
Ralph had been raw with grief and so enraged by his cousin’s betrayal that he’d believed everything Gwen had said that night when she told him to leave without her. And eventually he had, taking with him all the bitterness, anger and resentment, which also extended to the woman who was sat beside him now, for six long years.
However, everything had changed once Ralph met Gwen again, here at this tournament. His understanding of that night had somehow shifted. He had a certain knowledge now that he did not back then. For one thing, Gwen had not, under the guise of duty, harboured a cold ambition to be the Lady of Kinnerton, without caring who its lord would be, as he was led to believe. That had been the reason given back then.
Harlequin Historical July 2021--Box Set 2 of 2 Page 62