Harlequin Historical July 2021--Box Set 2 of 2

by Madeline Martin

  Gwen turned back around to find Ralph standing in front of their table, looking down on her, his dark eyes glittering. Oh, but how handsome he looked, standing there with a ready smile and his dark hair combed and swept back. His long, muscled legs were encased in dark hose and braies, and with it he wore a matching linen tunic with a blue quilted gambeson, belted at the waist, that moulded to the contours of his broad shoulders and hard chest.

  ‘My lady,’ he said softly, holding out his hand to her. ‘Would you care to dance?’

  Gwen exhaled slowly and nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak. She rose to her feet and took Ralph’s outstretched hand. They moved to the centre of the hall as others also gathered there. Hugh and Eleanor joined them, as did William and Isabel. Gwen even spotted Thomas approach Brida, whom she noticed refused the poor man with a vigorous shake of the head.

  Yet none of that seemed to signify. The way Ralph was looking at her was as though no one else existed but them. It made her feel as though she would swoon with this strange hopeless longing she knew she could not give in to. She must stand strong and think of the sadness that would eventually come if she gave into her desires now. It was best to keep this contained as though they were mere friends and nothing more.

  The melodic music enveloped them as they circled around one another in graceful, fluid moves.

  ‘You seem quiet this evening, Ralph.’

  ‘Am I?’ he muttered from behind her as he flexed his fingers around her waist and lifted her up before lowering her back down. ‘I had not noticed.’

  ‘I am not surprised. This has been an incredible day.’

  ‘Indeed.’

  ‘Tell me, how do you fare?’ she said as she moved around him and another couple before coming back around and resting the tips of her fingers on his.

  ‘Very well, now that I am finally able to have a moment with you.’ He winked at her, giving her a wicked smile before his mirth faded to be replaced with a look of contemplation. ‘And what of you, Gwen? I hope that you are now able to put Stephen and his subsequent demise behind you?’

  She considered this question before eventually answering. ‘It’s strange but now that the nightmare of constantly watching and worrying about him seems to be at an end, I feel...you’ll laugh when I say this, but I feel a little numb from it all.’

  ‘That is not something that would provoke my levity.’ Ralph frowned. ‘Not after everything that he put you through.’

  ‘That he put us through,’ she corrected.

  ‘Yes.’ He moved away from her in the dance sequence before turning back. ‘And the feelings you describe are understandable. However, I’m hopeful that it soon will pass.’

  ‘Yes, I am sure it shall.’ She smiled. ‘I would not want to be continually bound to him in such a meaningless way.’

  ‘That would not serve you well.’ He slid his hand over her fingers and slowly pulled her towards him. ‘In time Stephen le Gros would all be forgotten.’

  ‘And we should start tonight by never mentioning his name. For too long he has dominated our shared past.’

  ‘I can accede to that.’ He laced his fingers with hers and gave them a gentle tug. ‘Come, let’s get away from here for a moment.’

  ‘What? We cannot do that,’ she hissed. ‘This banquet has been given in your honour, with King Henry, the Marcher Earls and other dignitaries present.’

  ‘No one shall notice.’ He grinned sheepishly. ‘Besides, I have been in discussions with them all day. I believe I can surely now have a moment alone with you, if you would honour me with your company.’

  Gwen blinked, wondering whether it would be wise to be alone with him. But knowing that this could be the last time she conceded. ‘It would be my pleasure.’

  They continued the group dance, but gradually pulled away a little at a time until they found themselves at the side of the hall.

  ‘Come along.’ He chuckled as they stepped outside the hall.

  No, it would not be wise at all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  It was a cool, quiet evening with a clear night sky festooned with stars. Ralph seemed to be in a hurry as he tugged Gwen’s hand through to the outer bailey.

  ‘Where are we going in such haste?’

  ‘You’ll see. Come.’

  They continued along the path that brought them to a stone gatehouse.

  ‘We’re leaving the castle? At a time like this?’

  ‘No better time than here and now, Gwen.’ Ralph’s lips twitched in the corners. ‘Besides, we shan’t be going far.’

  They made their way out of the castle and around the castle curtain where she was surprised to find Ralph’s squire holding his horse’s reins.

  ‘Not going far, did you say?’ She crossed her arms as she shook her head. ‘And this excursion does not seem as spontaneous as I believed it to be.’

  He ran his hands down Fortis’s smooth flank. ‘I admit it has been done quite by design.’

  ‘So it would seem.’ She chuckled softly as she stroked the animal’s muzzle.

  ‘However, we shall not be venturing far. Just far enough.’ He held out his hand to her. ‘Shall we?’

  ‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘Let’s.’

  They mounted Fortis and turned the horse around before galloping away from Pulverbatch Castle. Gwen sat side-saddle in front with Ralph’s protective arms wrapped around her.

  ‘By the by, I wanted to ask whether you had anything to do with selecting the beautiful Welsh ballad earlier?’

  ‘I may have.’

  ‘Thank you, it was one my mother used to sing to me.’

  ‘I recall you telling me.’

  ‘I am surprised you remember something as insignificant as that, after all this time?’

  He pulled the reins, making the horse come to a halt and leant over her shoulder, his breath close to the side of her neck.

  ‘Not so insignificant, Gwenllian. And I hope this night is filled with yet more surprises.’

  The low timbre of his voice sent a frisson of excitement through her as well as a touch of confusion. What surprises?

  ‘Then, my lord, allow me to say that I am touched by your courtesy and thoughtfulness.’

  ‘It was my pleasure.’

  They continued to gallop through familiar woods and even a low-level stream, riding further west, with the moon and the stars as the only guiding beacon of light.

  Finally, Fortis climbed a hilly mound that brought them somewhere Gwen had not believed she would ever see again—Kinnerton Castle, far across the valley yonder and perched on a low hill, but still visible.

  It was standing in magnificent splendour, with a motte surrounding the high curtain walls and five stone towers including the keep linked together in fortification. It looked peaceful now, this place that had been the cause of so much turmoil and upheaval.

  They both stared out into the night, lost in their own private contemplation of old memories now faded in dreams.

  ‘I cannot believe that this is the same place I have been dreaming of, for so long. It seems so much smaller than I remember and only but yesterday when we were last here,’ Ralph muttered softly. ‘And yet also a lifetime ago, as well.’

  She nodded. ‘So much has happened since then. So many changes, both good and bad.’

  ‘And here we are...back again.’

  She wrapped her arms around herself as the breeze whipped around her. ‘Why are we here, Ralph?’ She frowned. ‘Why have you brought me here?’

  ‘Because this is the place where it all began and where everything must now surely be settled.’

  * * *

  Ralph jumped down and helped her dismount.

  ‘Yes, for you this is a proud moment to savour. To know that all your endeavours, all those hopes and dreams you spoke of have finally become a real
ity.’

  ‘But not for you, Gwen?’ He caught a stray tendril from beneath her sheer veil and tucked it behind her ear.

  ‘No.’ She sighed. ‘My path, as you know, will take me on a different route. Far from here.’

  ‘And you would be happy then, once you reach that journey’s end?’

  ‘Must our lives be measured by the extent of our happiness?’

  He stared at her for a long moment before answering, ‘I do not see why they can’t. But mayhap the pertinent question is whether you believe you have the right to be happy?’

  No. She did not. Happiness was not something that she considered to be of any importance in her life. ‘All I seek is a little comfort. That would suffice.’

  ‘I’m afraid I do not agree.’ He turned her around slowly to face him. ‘I believe that you are worthy of more than that.’

  ‘Stop this, Ralph.’ She screwed her eyes shut. ‘Do not make me want things that I cannot have.’

  ‘Why?’ he murmured. ‘Why can you not have what your heart desires?’

  This was something she did not want to contemplate. It would open a chasm of want and need that she had shut out and contained for so long, it might otherwise threaten to burst open.

  ‘Gwen?’ he said softly. ‘Sweetheart, look at me.’

  Her eyes fluttered open to find Ralph looking at her with such intensity that it made her pulse trip over itself. The truth was that what he offered tempted her so much that she wanted to reach out and take it, but she could not do it. It would end up hurting them both in the end and she could not bear to gain his eventual disgust.

  ‘I love you Ralph de Kinnerton.’ She swallowed. ‘But you and I cannot have the ending we once hoped to have.’

  He raked his fingers through his hair irritably. ‘Just say the word, Gwen, and I shall escort you to whichever convent you wish to go, if it would be the means to your happiness.’

  ‘Why would that be of any consequence?’

  ‘Because it matters to me. You matter to me, for the love of saints.’ His eyes held a storm of emotions still warring with the injustices of the world. But just as quickly it faded. ‘You say you love me, yet you are prepared to relinquish that love.’

  ‘Only because I have no other choice.’

  ‘Oh, I think you do, but you stubbornly refuse to see it.’

  ‘That is neither fair nor true.’ She moved away, looking over the valley beyond. ‘Don’t you see that this is for the best? I am convinced that, one day, you shall come to realise that.’

  ‘Will I indeed? I very much doubt it.’ His lips twisted in annoyance. ‘What is it that you think you are doing, Gwen? Protecting me, again?’

  ‘Not just you, but both of us, I imagine.’

  ‘Oh, sweetheart.’ He reached out for her and she went to him. ‘Whatever you may believe, I want you to know that you deserve happiness and more than that you should be cherished and loved.’

  Her heart thumped rapidly against her chest as she shook her head sadly. ‘I thank you, Ralph, but it is not a question of that.’

  ‘Yet it could be,’ he said softly as he rested his chin on her head.

  ‘Love will not be enough.’ She pulled away a little and sighed. ‘We may wish to banish Stephen le Gros and never speak of him again, but he will always, always be there between us.’

  ‘Only if we allow it.’

  ‘Mayhap not now, but some day it will. What he did to us—to me—shall snake its way between us and spread all that spleen and venom. And I cannot bear for you to come to despise my shame, which you eventually shall.’

  ‘You paint a less than flattering picture, Gwen, but you should try for a little more faith in me.’

  How was she to explain that it had nothing to do with that, but more an understanding about how these powerful emotions would inevitably develop?

  ‘I never took you for lacking in courage,’ he murmured, tilting his head up.

  ‘On the contrary, Ralph, leaving you will take all the courage I have left.’

  He shook his head before releasing her. ‘Then I fought him for nothing. Then ultimately Stephen has won, regardless of it all.’

  ‘You must not say that. You have achieved so much since your return. You have restored your family honour and you’re now the legitimate Lord of Kinnerton. It is a great cause of celebration, Ralph, and I am so very proud of you.’

  He moved to stroke his horse, patting him before lifting his head to the heavens.

  ‘And yet I did not fight him just for my family honour or even to regain Kinnerton.’ Ralph turned to look at her with such intensity, his eyes glittered in the evening light. ‘I fought for every indecent look, every unwanted touch, every intimidation and every injustice my cousin perpetrated. Above all, I did it all for you. Only you, Gwen.’

  Her lips trembled as she tried to say something, the words stuck in her throat. He stepped forward and took her hand in his, brushing his callused fingers over her knuckles.

  ‘God, but it pains me more than you can ever know that I was not able to protect you against Stephen as I should have back then, especially after what it cost you,’ he said hoarsely, his head bent low. ‘But allow me to say that you are a remarkable woman. What you did, what you call your shame was the most selfless, brave and yes courageous thing that anyone has ever done for me. You saved my life, Gwen. Time and time again. And yet, how do you suppose I can ever reconcile and repair the damage that my cousin has done?’ He lifted his head. ‘By either letting you go or eventually despising you, apparently. Neither of which I can readily do, incidentally.’

  ‘Oh, Ralph.’ Her eyes swam with tears. ‘I do not know what to say.’

  ‘You can say that you trust in my words and believe me when I say that none of this—Kinnerton or being its lord—means anything without you. That the notion of being without you rips at my soul. That I would do anything to convince you that I am in earnest.’ He turned her hand around and placed his larger palm over hers, their fingers entwined. ‘Tell me, when are you going to let me in because I love you, Gwenllian ferch Hywel? You are the very beat of my heart.’

  She stared at their fingers laced together. ‘As you are mine, Ralph de Kinnerton.’

  ‘Then marry me, Gwen. Consent to be my wife.’ He cupped her cheek and tilted her face up. ‘Have faith in a future of our making and take a chance on happiness that could be ours. I would do everything in my power to give you that. In fact, I would give you those stars that you’re so enchanted by and throw in the moon as well. But know this—my love for you is more like the vast sky that holds them together, it is enduring and never ending.’

  She was stunned into silence. For as long as Gwen could remember, a dark cloud of uncertainty and bitterness had hung over, resulting with the inevitable separation that pulled them apart for six long years. Was it now really possible to breach that, if only she would reach out and grasp it? Could the strength of their true and binding love for one another be enough to forge a new future, as Ralph said, of their own making?

  There was only one way to find out. Besides, Gwen was tired of fighting her feelings and her deep longing to be with Ralph, which she had been doing from the first moment she saw him again by their tree in the woods near Pulverbatch Castle. She had tried to convince herself that theirs could only be a friendship, that anything else was an impossibility.

  But then she had not known how Ralph would truly view what she had endured for him. Incredibly, he had thought her brave and courageous, a remarkable woman.

  Mayhap she needed to be brave one more time and trust in him and his love.

  ‘Yes.’ She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. A slow smile spread on her lips. ‘I’ll marry you, Ralph de Kinnerton. And I do not need the stars or the moon—just you.’

  Before she knew what had happened Gwen was pulled into a warm embrace, as
Ralph bent his head and covered her lips with his in the most tender kiss that almost made her knees buckle.

  ‘I suppose I can now seek those hopes and dreams you once asked me about,’ she teased.

  ‘Yes, sweetheart, and far more besides.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The day that Ralph de Kinnerton married Gwenllian ferch Hywel of Clwyd in the small chapel at his birthplace of Kinnerton Castle was a wonderfully bright and sunny day. The short journey from Pulverbatch Castle to Kinnerton was made in a cavalcade by the young King Henry himself, as well as the Earls of Chester and Hereford. Their friends, William and Isabel de Clancey, Hugh and Eleanor Tallany as well Sir Thomas Lovent and Gwen’s companion Brida O’Conaill also attended the ceremony, solemnised by Hugh Foliot, the Bishop of Hereford.

  The moment the music soared to herald the arrival of the procession outside the chapel would be etched in his mind for ever. Ralph stood waiting on the steps outside the chapel, with a small posy of wildflowers bound with a ribbon made by Gwen’s fair hands as he first glimpsed his bride walking to meet him.

  Her flaxen hair was tightly bound under a delicate silky veil topped with a simple gold circlet. She wore a vivid blue woollen kirtle dress with long fitted sleeves, the same shade as her eyes, edged in intricate gold embroidery and worn over a cream tunic. He stood mesmerised as he watched Gwen, who had never looked lovelier than on this morn. And on a day when she would utter vows that would bind them in union for ever. Except perhaps when she looked up at him and smiled. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt that smile through every vein of his body. God, but he loved her.

  The moment was naturally broken when the short cape he wore, with the crest of Kinnerton over a dark blue padded gambeson, was tugged at the edges.

  ‘Psst, Ralph? Ralph?’ William Tallany whispered, looking a little flustered. ‘Do I give Gwen the ring now when she gets here or later on?’

  ‘I thought your lady mother told you.’

  ‘She did, but I have since forgotten,’ he hissed loudly.