Falling in Fast

by Danielle Arie

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat and nodded. He was a mistake. The biggest mistake I made in highschool. “Just trying to figure out what I learned besides the fact that I’m psychotic.” My chest tightened, my vision blurring the longer I thought about it. I didn’t know what in my mind could be so sick that I would actually miss him after what he did to me, but I did. In so many ways. I shook my head, a tear falling to my cheek before I could blink it away. I thought the memories would fade when I came up here, but they didn’t.

  My parents were right when they told me I could do better than him, but I’d forced it for two years, and for what?

  “He’s not worth it, Emery. And you’re not psychotic.”

  I swallowed, beyond angry I was letting myself cry over him again, and in front of Tucker, but I was past rage, and hurt. More than anything I was irritated with myself for dwelling on it. “We should burn whatever carcass is in there.” I did my best to dab my eyes and suck up the rest. “Like, straight to ash.”

  His dark eyes softened, and he huffed a short breath. “Let’s do it.”

  -Tucker-

  True to my word, we got our masks, pulled the mummified rat from the toilet, lit a fire in the maintenance yard, and burned that carcass until ash was all that was left. I didn’t know if it would really help her, or not. But if I could find a way to distract her from whatever thoughts were pulling her down so hard, I would.

  “Better now?” I asked, through my mask, as we went back inside the cabin to spray the surfaces down with a cleaning solution guaranteed to wipe out foul scents.

  “Actually, I think I am,” she said, taking her bottle around to every corner and doorway.

  I covered the joints where the walls met the floors. “Awesome.”

  “Right? Who knew? I thought I was psycho, but apparently I just needed to burn a carcass this whole time.”

  I barked a laugh, shaking my head. This girl was way too much. “Yeah. There’s nothing psycho about that.”

  We opened all the windows to air the cabin out and returned the masks and solution to the maintenance shed. “What next?” she asked.

  I squinted, checking my watch. Eleven twenty-three. “Got about half an hour ‘till lunch. We had a complaint about a loose hook on the dock. Maybe we have enough time to go check it out.”

  “Perfect.” She undid her ponytail, her hair falling in wavy golden tiers to her shoulders. Man, it looked so soft. She leaned back, sweeping it up again before she saw me gawking.

  I cleared my throat and turned my eyes to the dumpsters, squinting like I saw something over there.

  She moved to my side, frowning. “What was it?”

  “Not sure.” I shrugged and turned, heading downhill, trying to shake the look of defeat in her trusting blue eyes earlier. She was too sweet to get cheated on. That fact alone made me angry for her. She deserved so much better.

  We walked back down to the main grounds, Emery frowning as we passed the office. “What in the world?” she whispered, eyes narrowing on a fire-red mustang parked out front.

  “Someone you know?”

  “That’s my ex’s car.”

  I froze, every muscle in my body tensing as I followed her sights. The guy followed her up here, didn’t he? “You’re joking, right?”

  She shook her head, panic shooting through her eyes as she swallowed. “Come on. Just keep going.”

  I nodded, glancing over my shoulder as we passed the office, but the parking lot was empty. “Were you expecting him to come?”

  “No.” Her breaths shortened as her eyes flitted around, hands wringing in front of her stomach. “I have no idea why he’s here.”

  I had every idea why he was here. The girl was incredible, and he was an idiot for hurting her in the first place. I mean. How could he not see what he had right in front of him for so long? It wasn’t like a stupid high school fling from what she’d told me. They were in it deep for two years straight. You don’t just get over something like that. But he cheated. As far as I was concerned, she didn’t need to be reminded about it when she’d come up here to get away from him in the first place.

  “Want me to walk you to your lodge? I can figure out his deal and get back to you with the news.”

  She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to face him alone. It’s so awkward now.”

  “All right.” I sighed, heading out to the picnic tables perched on the edge of the shady part of the basketball courts. “Let’s just grab a seat and wait him out. Someone’ll show up with some news before too long.”

  She nodded and picked up her pace, choosing the furthest table from the road. She slid in and I slid in beside her, turning to assess her ashen face. She held my gaze, terror reeling through hers. I had no clue how a girl as strong as she was could be so shaken over a jerk. But, she was. “Spill,” I said, furrowing my brows.

  She twisted her fingers together on the surface of the picnic table and blew another shaky breath. “The last time I talked to him was when I broke it off. I just. I don’t know how to face him like this. I don’t think I’m strong enough yet.”

  Why did innocent girls always fall for idiots? It never made any sense to me, but I saw it happen enough times to know the pattern. Another drop of guilt sunk in my gut. “You’re not alone, Chuck.”

  “For now.” She swallowed, running her palms along her legs.

  “I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re good,” I added. Not sure if it helped, but I had to try.

  She closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath, releasing it before looking at me again. “You have no reason to protect me. And Nick’s not exactly a little guy.”

  Not exactly a little guy . . . did she not realize I was 6’3”, 180? I scoffed. “No offense, but he’s an eighteen-year-old punk—”

  “Nineteen.”

  “I don’t care. And I don’t care if he’s seven feet tall either. If he needs to learn a lesson, I have plenty of time to teach him.” What the heck was I saying? I was a department lead. I couldn’t fight some kid to prove a point. “But I don’t think it’s going to come down to that.”

  She didn’t look like she believed me. “How do you know?”

  “Listen, Emery. I know you don’t want to see him, but—and I’m just guessing here—I have a feeling he didn’t come all the way up the mountain for the scenery. You’re strong. If he approaches you, just tell him to leave.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Yes, you can.” I clamped my jaw, trying to transfer some of my strength over to her. “You know what I think would be better than just sitting around waiting for him to find you?”

  “What?” she asked through her fingers.

  “Shake your nerves and go find him yourself. He’s probably planning to use the element of surprise against you.”

  “You make him sound like a predator, or something.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe stalker’s a better word for it.” Dang. Maybe I was saying too much, but she needed validation, and if I was the only one who could give it to her, I would.

  She stayed quiet for a while, picking at the chipping paint on the table. “I don’t understand. I didn’t tell him where I was going.”

  I folded my arms across my chest, glancing at the passing golf cart before turning back to study her panicked face. “Guys like that don’t think they need an invitation. He probably hounded your friends after he realized he really lost you.”

  She drew another deep breath, held it for a few seconds and released it. “Actually, maybe I should just go to my lodge.”

  “Don’t let him do this to you, Emery.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “I’m so weak when I’m around him. I avoided seeing him before I left because I’m afraid of myself with him.”

  “Meaning?”

  She lowered her hands back to the tabletop, eyes welling as she chewed her bottom lip. “He can be so convincing, and even thought I know better, a part of me still wants him. As stupid as that sounds.”

&n
bsp; “It doesn’t sound stupid.” I lowered my voice, leaning a little closer. “You spent two years of your life with this guy. There had to be something redeemable about him, but guys like that don’t deserve second chances. All he’d do with it is give you more of the same.” I wasn’t just blowing smoke either. I had more than enough reason to state it as fact. “Besides, you told me yourself how blind he made you. How much time you wasted with him.”

  I hated breaking it down so crudely for her, but I’d been on Nick’s side of things before. Emery needed to know the truth.

  She swallowed, nodding. “I know. Like, right now, I know, but I’m not sure I’ll be strong enough to remember all of that if we’re alone.”

  “Then, don’t be alone with him.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek and she was beautiful. Even like this. I blew a quick breath and even though I knew I shouldn’t, I brushed her tear away, letting my thumb linger on her cheek longer than I needed to. She gasped.

  Idiot move, I know. But how was I supposed to just sit there and let her writhe? “I’m sorry, but I know you deserve better.”

  She blinked, nodding. “I keep telling myself that.”

  I cleared my throat, ignored the urge to pull her close, and let my hand fall back to my lap. “What’s it gonna be, Chuck?” I crossed my arms in an attempt to keep my hands to myself, but my thumb was still tingling.

  She lifted her shoulder. “I guess head downhill and prepare myself to face my demons.”

  “Do you want me to pray with you first?” It might’ve been random for some to ask, but I’d been doing my best to make it a habit over the past couple years. Life had taught me a lot lately, and leaving God out of stuff like this never ended well.

  Her eyes froze on mine, something softer spinning inside. “Actually, yes.”

  ELEVEN

  -Emery-

  I couldn’t shake the feel of Tucker’s thumb on my face. The look in his eyes when he brushed my tear away. The honesty in his prayer, and the strength building in my chest because of it. This guy was the rare kind.

  But what was he hiding? There had to be something . . .

  “Doing good?” he asked, as we descended the hill toward the office, Nick’s car still parked out front.

  “I’m fine,” I said, squaring my shoulders. Dang it. I needed to be stronger. I was at Bridgeport. I was my own person. Nick had no business being here. My blood heated at the fact that he’d come anyway.

  “Emery!” Nick’s voice travelled from the office doorway, curling through my gut.

  I stopped and closed my eyes. How was this seriously happening?

  “I’ll be right here,” Tuck said, nodding toward the door.

  “Thank you.” I gave him my best game face and turned toward the office, moving to meet Nick.

  He stepped outside and waited for me at the base of a tree a few yards away. “Emery,” he said, softer this time, lifting his hat, his clear green eyes piercing my chest worse than a smoldering blade. I wished he would have just cut my heart out instead of making out with Carly. The fact that it went viral the next day was the nail in the coffin. What the heck did I ever do to deserve what he dished me? “Ems, I’m so sorry. You have to hear me out.” He reached for my hand.

  I tore it away and folded my arms. “No. I don’t. And, you shouldn’t be here. Just, get back in your pretty little car and go home, Nick.” I avoided his eyes, trying not to see the desperation inside. Trying not to feel it, too.

  “I know it was bad. Like, the worst, but seriously. You can’t just throw two years of our lives away. I mean, we made plans, right? I drove up here to tell you I applied to Bridgeport the day after you broke up with me. I’m here for the summer to be with yo—”

  “Wait? You what?” He couldn’t be serious. I came up here to get away from him. From us. And he had baseball.

  He stepped toward me and trailed his hand down my arm, riling all of the familiar feelings, and shook his head. “I love you, Emery. I want the life we planned together—”

  “You cheated on me,” I said, stepping back, hating the way my skin burned beneath his touch. My heart surged inside my chest, telling me to step toward him. I reminded my heart of the video feed, and the thousand knowing looks I got at school the day after, and the pain it caused. I glanced up the road to Tucker, still waiting there like a soldier. He nodded. Right. Jerk. Cheater. More of the same. I turned back to Nick. “We’re done.”

  “Come on. You can’t be serious. I’m here. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

  “I want you to undo what you did, but you can’t. You made your decision the second you went to that party.”

  “We were fighting . . . I mean. What did you expect?”

  Seriously? That was his reasoning? And after all I’d done to fight for us too. “I’m done talking about this.” I turned my gaze from his addicting eyes. I wouldn’t think about the feel of being in his arms either. The gentle pressure of his lips on mine was definitely off-limits, too. “Go home.”

  I turned around and walked toward the road, toward Tucker, and wiped at my leaking eyes. They obviously didn’t get the message that I was over him yet. I’d cried my guts out for the past two weeks straight. I didn’t need to cry anymore.

  His footsteps crunched behind me. “Ems. Please—”

  “Done,” I countered, with a flick of my hand.

  “But, babe—”

  “I said I'm done, Nick!” I shouted, glancing at him over my shoulder.

  He grunted. “You don’t mean that, Emery. Come on.”

  I sighed and swept my fingers over my tears like it would help.

  Nick followed me.

  “Seriously, Nick. It’s over,” I tried again, my heart shriveling with every step. Why was he making this so hard? Why did I want to ignore reality and pretend we could go back? Especially when I knew the truth. Even if he wasn’t, I was done.

  “We’re not over, Ems. You’re not thinking right.” He rushed to catch up to me and grabbed my hand again.

  “Don’t touch me,” I said, shaking my head as I spun around and shoved him hard.

  Tucker blew a deep breath, coming off the road toward us. “Step off, dude.”

  Nick froze, noticing Tucker for the first time. “Oh. So, what? You got a new boyfriend already?” He scoffed, running his tongue behind his bottom lip as he lifted his chin and faced Tucker. “She forgot to tell you she’s taken, bro.”

  Tucker shook his head, stepping in the space between me and Nick. My heartbeat quickened, my stomach twisting in a thousand knots.

  “Are you a new staffer?” Tucker asked Nick, tilting his head.

  Nick frowned. “What’s that have to do with anything?”

  “Not much, unless you’re threatening one of my crew members. Keep it up and I’ll call Security, and you’ll be gone as fast as you came, bro.”

  Nick grunted. “You’re her boss? Isn’t that like . . . nepotism or some shi-”

  “Give me a reason, dude,” Tucker said, puffing his chest. “Please. I’m begging you.”

  Nick huffed a breath, eyes cutting back to mine. “This isn’t over,” he said, shaking his head as he turned on his heel and shoved his fists in his pockets.

  I blinked back my tears and Tucker worked his jaw. “I’m sorry, Emery.”

  “No.” I drew a deep breath and released it softly. “He wasn’t getting it until you stepped in.”

  A protective look passed through his eyes, a look that reminded me of my brothers. “Come on. Let’s go get you a shake or something.”

  -Tucker-

  We headed to the Snack Shop and Emery went to the bathroom while I ordered our shakes. Man, what I wouldn’t give to deck that guy. I mean. Everyone has their struggles, and he honestly looked apologetic, but Emery was better than that. And he just kept pushing her.

  I took our shakes to a table in the Snack Shop, trying to cool down. A small wave of laughter rolled through the line of staffers behind the counter, one of the guys u
sing his hands to animate some story about a squirrel. The bell jingled as more staffers came through. I waited at the table, reeling back through everything I’d just witnessed. It was obvious Emery didn’t want him working here. I couldn’t get his obstinance out of my head. Seriously. She couldn’t have said it any clearer. What kind of guy follows his ex to a summer job in the mountains and decides he’s just gonna stay? If he didn’t do the right thing and leave, then I had a new mission for the summer. I wasn’t letting her out of my sight while he was lurking around.

  The bathroom door creaked, Lauren walking out, a weird look on her face. She caught a glimpse of me and came over to my table. “I know you go hard on your maintenance guys, but you might want to lighten up on Emery,” she said. “She’s in there sobbing.”

  I frowned, glancing up at her. “What?”

  She lifted a shoulder, turning her eyes toward the windows. “My break’s over. I have to go.” She strolled out the door, and I turned back to the shakes, my chest constricting at the thought of Emery crying in the bathroom. I rubbed the back of my neck watching the bathroom door. If she didn’t come out in the next ten seconds, I’d just go in.

  Ten . . .

  Nine . . .

  Eight . . .

  I cleared my throat.

  Seven . . .

  Six . . .

  Maybe I should have said thirty seconds instead.

  Five . . .

  Four . . .

  The door squeaked again and Emery walked out, scanning the room until her puffy eyes found mine. She bit her lip. I breathed a sigh of relief. I mean, yeah, it would have been stupid to go into the girl’s bathroom, but I would have done it to make sure she was all right. I stood with our shakes and nodded toward the door. “Want to go outside?”

  “Yeah,” she said. She followed me out. We crossed the patio outside the Snack Shop and trudged through the lawn, and onto the dock, our steps rocking it until we reached the end. I sat and took a sip of my shake, staring out at the lake.