Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

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Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds Page 38

by David C. Pollock


  CHAPTER 18

  1. “A Most Excellent Journey” by Barbara Schaetti, Ph.D., in Raising Global Nomads: Parenting Abroad in an On-Demand World by Robin Pascoe (Vancouver, BC: Expatriate Press, 2006), 207–20.

  2. Beverly Roman, Newsletter, BR Anchor Publishing, http://www.branchor.com, September 2008.

  3. Mel Mandell and Lindsey Biel, “Global Repatriation,” Solutions (February 1994), 23–26.

  4. From the ExpatExpert.com/AMJ Campbell International Relocation “Family Matters!” Survey.

  5. Ibid.

  6. Ibid.

  7. Ibid.

  8. Beverly Roman, Newsletter, BR Anchor Publishing, http://www.branchor.com, September 2008.

  CHAPTER 19

  1. Brice Royer, developer of www.TCKID.com, in a personal e-mail to Ruth E. Van Reken, September 2008. Used with permission.

  2. John Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Attachment, Vol. 1 (New York: Basic Books, 1969, 1982).

  APPENDIX B

  1. Gunei Sato, Kaigai Kikokushijo Kyouiku no Saikouchiku (The Reconstruction of Kaigai/Kikoku-Shijo Education), (Tamagawa Daigaku Shuppan: 1997), 54.

  2. Ibid., 206–40.

  3. Ibid., 225.

  4. Kakehashi, an association formed by parents of returnee students in the Kansai region, conducts an extensive survey of schools that are willing to admit children upon their return to Japan. Their findings are published in an annual directory, complemented by in-depth analyses of educational trends regarding the treatment of kikoku-shijos in the Japanese school system.

  5. Momo Kano Podolsky, “Internationally Mobile Children: The Japanese Kikoku-Shijo Experience Reconsidered,” Contemporary Society Bulletin, 2008: 49–69. Kyoto Women’s University.

  Resources for TCKs, ATCKs, and their Families

  Organizations/Website Resources

  AramcoBrats

  www.aramco-brats.com

  For Aramco TCKs who grew up in Saudi Arabia.

  Around the World in a Lifetime (AWAL)/Foreign Service Youth Foundation

  www.fsyf.org

  Organization for United States foreign service teens.

  British Expat

  www.britishexpat.com

  Full-featured site for expatriate Brits.

  CanuckAbroad

  www.canuckabroad.com

  Caters to the Canadian expatriate, but provides information and resources— including a forum—that are equally useful for U.S. and other expatriates.

  Expat Weekly Telegraph

  www.telegraph.co.uk/expat

  An online section of the Weekly Telegraph (U.K.) newspaper dedicated to expatriate living, with resources, news, articles, and information.

  Expat Women

  www.expatwomen.com

  A free website helping expatriate women from all nationalities in any country in the world share experiences and advice, and find resources for living in a foreign country.

  Expatica

  www.expatica.com

  This Netherlands-based website provides useful resources for those living and working in the Netherlands, Germany, France, Spain, and Belgium. It also publishes an online newsletter and hosts conferences on expat-related topics.

  Families in Global Transition

  www.figt.org

  Hosts a yearly international conference on topics related to global family living.

  Global Education Explorer

  www.Globaleducationexplorer.com

  A web–based tool that enables companies and families to learn about curricula in other countries, educational assessments, and customs surrounding schooling so that they are informed before making this all–important life change.

  Hobsons

  www.hobsons.com

  Enables the preparation, recruitment, management, and advancement of students.

  Interaction International

  www.interactionintl.org

  Organization founded by David C. Pollock. “The voice for third culture kids and internationally mobile families.”

  The Interchange Institute

  www.interchangeinstitute.org

  Offers training for educators, human resources personnel, and others in matters related to cross-cultural living.

  Mu Kappa

  www.mukappa.org

  A fraternal association for missionary kids.

  Overseas Brats

  www.overseasbrats.com

  Group for military kids.

  School Choice International

  www.schoolchoiceintl.com

  Helps families with a child with special needs, for whom an overseas move is particularly difficult, both emotionally and educationally.

  TCKid.com

  www.TCKid.com

  Founded by Brice Royer. Resource-rich interactive website for adult TCKs and CCKs.

  Transitions Abroad

  www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/living/resources/expatriatewebsites.shtml#global

  A list of website addresses for expats of all countries.

  Publications

  Among Worlds

  www.interactionintl.org/amongworlds.asp

  A quarterly magazine for adult TCKs.

  BR Anchor Publishing

  www.branchor.com

  Publisher of books for families on the move, including workbooks for young children.

  Expatriate Expert

  www.expatexpert.com

  Website for Robin Pascoe, author of A Moveable Marriage, Homeward Bound, and Raising Global Nomads.

  The Interchange Institute

  www.interchangeinstitute.org

  Publisher of books on the U.S. Educational system for expats, moving with babies, and other resources.

  Nicholas Brealey/Intercultural Press

  www.nicholasbrealey.com

  Get your favorite books here, including Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls by Dugan Romano, Unrooted Childhoods: Memoirs of Growing Up Global by Faith Eidse and Nina Sichel, and The Art of Coming Home by Craig Storti.

  Index

  Abandonment, 212

  Adaptability, 100–101

  Adolescence

  delayed, 146–150

  normal end of, 156

  Adolescent rebellion, delayed, 150–152

  Adoptees, 55–58, 83

  Adult(s)

  adolescent rebellion as, 152

  relationships with, 145

  Adult cross-cultural kids, 31, 33

  Adult third culture kids

  anger experienced by, 253–254

  benefits of being, 5

  in bicultural families, 48

  challenges for, 64, 250

  children of, 140

  comforting of, 258, 261

  coping methods for, 251–255

  description of, 3

  diverse experiences of, 113

  emotional wounds of, 254–255

  healing of, 250–260

  increases in, 5

  learning new languages, 119–120

  linguistic skills of, 119

  losses experienced by, 252–254

  mobility effects on, 269–278

  normality for, 251

  parental help for, 255–260

  support for, 253

  Affirmation, 182–183

  Agency. See Sponsoring agencies and organizations

  Alumni, 5, 245

  Ambivalence, 72

  Anger, 151–152, 161, 229, 253–254

  Arrogance, 109–110

  Assimilation, 206

  ATCKs. See Adult third culture kids

  Australia, 4

  Authority, 108–109

  Autonomy, 146

  Awareness, 145

  Bargaining, 161

  Behavioral patterns, 251–252

  Belonging, 23–25, 153

  Bicultural children, 31–32, 48, 58

  Bilingualism, 118–119, 122

  Bitterness, 68

  Blending in, 102–103

  Boarding school, 50, 126, 151, 171, 176, 211–213, 264

  “Boomer
ang kids,” 157

  Borderlanders, children of, 32, 237

  Career changes, 127

  Caregivers, 51

  Challenges, 64, 156, 250

  Chameleons, 57, 100–101, 118

  Changing cultures, 45–54

  Chaos, 69–70

  Child care, 51

  Children

  of adult third culture kids, 140

  of immigrants, 30, 32

  lack of national identity by, 232

  parents of, 83, 140, 148, 173–176

  protecting of, 175–176

  reentry of, 232

  as special, 175

  valuing of, 173–174

  visiting of overseas parents by, 243

  Choice(s)

  delusion of, 106–108

  lack of opportunities for, 148, 152

  naming of, 255

  Civic organizations, 247

  Closure, 171

  Comfort, 81–82, 176, 258

  Commitment, 172

  Communal living systems, 16

  Communication skills, 146

  Community

  interactions in, 48–49

  involvement in, 66

  loosening of ties with, 69

  maintaining ties with, 220–222

  missionary, 81, 259, 264

  special attention from, 69

  statuslessness in, 70–71

  Community organizations, 247

  Competent decision making, 144

  Compliance with cultural rules, 148, 150

  Confidence, 117

  Conflict, 128

  Confused loyalties, 90–92

  Core relationships, 78

  Corporal punishment, 197

  Correspondence schooling, 201–203

  Cross-cultural enrichment, 95–96

  Cross-cultural environment, 36, 196–197

  Cross-cultural kids

  adult, 31

  characteristics of, 32

  commonalties among, 35

  community organizations for, 247

  definition of, 31–32

  description of, xiii

  differences among, 35

  educational, 32, 84

  hidden diversity among, 60–61

  identifying of, 31–33

  model of, 31

  third culture kids vs., 32

  traditional, 31

  upbringing of, 33

  Cross-cultural lifestyle, 36, 109

  Cross-cultural parenting, 169

  Cross-cultural skills, 111–116, 240

  Cross-cultural transitions, 40, 70

  Cross-cultural values, 92

  Cross-cultural world, 17

  Cultural adaptability, 100–101

  Cultural assimilation, 55

  Cultural balance, 44–47, 97, 101

  Cultural chameleon, 100–101

  Cultural development, 49–50

  Cultural diversity, 104, 235

  Cultural identity, 55, 59–60, 207

  Cultural practices, 48

  Cultural rules, 23, 148

  Cultural stress, 74, 190

  Cultural values, 47–48

  Culturally mixed, 28

  Culture(s)

  adjustments to, 97

  assimilation of experiences from, 23

  caregivers as reflection of, 51

  changing, 45–54

  clashes in, 43–44

  deep, 42

  definition of, 13, 16, 41–42

  educational philosophies based on, 197–198

  first, 14

  fitting in, 56

  home. See Home culture

  host, 14, 23, 102

  interstitial, 14, 49

  layers of, 42–44

  learning about, 41, 219

  multiplicity of, 47

  passport, 48, 97

  political effects on, 59

  schooling as tool for learning about, 198–199

  second, 14

  significance of, 41

  surface, 42

  surrounding, cultural identity in relation to, 54–57

  unwritten rules in, 115, 149

  Culture shock, 74, 227–228

  Curriculum, 210

  Decision making, 107, 144, 148

  Decisiveness, 106–108

  Deep culture, 42

  Deep relationships, 132–136

  Defining of differences, 103–104

  Delayed adolescence, 146–150

  Delayed adolescent rebellion, 150–152

  Delayed development, 144

  Delayed grief, 164–165

  Delusion of choice, 106–108

  Denial, 68–69, 83, 160–161

  Depression, 162, 230

  Destination, 184–185

  Detachment, 67, 138–140

  Developmental tasks, 41, 144–150

  Developmental years, 21–26, 54

  Differences, 103–104, 109–110

  Discipline, 197

  Discounting of grief, 82

  Domestic cross-culture kids, 84

  Domestic third culture kids, 32, 36–37

  Dysfunctionality, 69

  Early maturity, 145–146, 149

  Eastern culture, 88

  Education

  choices regarding, 195–200

  cultural differences in philosophies, 197–198

  postsecondary school, 215, 243

  schooling options. See School(s)

  statistics regarding, 214–215

  Educational cross-cultural kids, 32, 84

  Elitism, 229–230

  Emotional flattering, 138–140

  Emotional withdrawal, 162

  Emotional wounds, 254–255

  Entering stage of transitions, 71–72

  Expatriates. See also Family

  communal living systems for, 16

  increases in number of, 4

  relationships among, 136

  subcultures among, 14, 49

  Expectations, denial of, 69

  Extended family, 220–221, 233

  Family. See also Parents

  cultural practices and values of, 48

  evaluations before moving, 169–171

  failure caused by stress on, 240

  ongoing services for, 243–244

  sponsoring organization’s role in helping, 242–245

  traditions of, 220

  Farewells, 183–184

  Fear(s)

  dealing with, 252

  of denying the good, 76

  lack of permission to show, 80–81

  reentry-related, 229

  Feelings, 68

  First culture, 14

  Flight stage, 191

  Foreigners, 54, 102

  Forgiveness, 182, 254, 259

  Foundation, 171–177, 231–232

  Friends

  comforting by, 261

  detaching from, 67, 138–140

  maintaining ties with, 222

  making new friends, 71

  rejection feelings, 68

  support for adult third culture kids, 260–261

  Germany, 59

  Global awareness, 112–113

  Grief

  delayed, 164–165

  denial of, 68, 83, 160–161

  discounting of, 82

  emotions and feelings associated with, 74–75

  encouragement vs., 82

  fear of denying the good and, 76

  higher good vs., 82–83

  lack of comfort and, 81–83

  lack of permission to show, 80–81

  unresolved, 74–83, 160–165

  vicarious, 163–164

  Healing, 250–260

  Hidden diversity, 60–61, 265

  Hidden immigrants, 55, 57, 102–104

  Hidden losses, 76–80, 262

  High mobility

  benefits of, 128

  definition of, 64–65

  delayed adolescence secondary to, 147

  historical overview of, 269–278

  losses caused by. Se
e Loss(es)

  relationships affected by, 131

  transitions caused by. See Transitions

  Home. See also Reentry

  importance of, 125–126, 151

  returning, 222–223, 225–237

  Home culture

  anger at, 229

  dealing with people from, 235–236

  description of, 14, 22, 48

  ignorance of, 96–97

  unrealistic expectations about, 226–227

  Home schooling, 201–203

  Host country

  preparing for reentry before leaving, 231

  traveling through, 218–219

  Host culture, 14, 23, 102

  Human needs, 142

  Humor, 97

  Identity

  developing of, 41, 46, 57, 59–60, 141–144

  fear of losing, 229

  hiding of, 103

  organizational system used to create, 153–156

  proclaiming of, 104

  rebellion and, 155

  secure, 156

  Immigrant(s)

  children of, 30, 32

  hidden, 55, 57, 102–104

  Impulsiveness, 106

  Independence, 144

  India, 14

  Insecurity, 118

  International adoptees, 32, 83

  International careers, 4, 176

  International Employee Assistance Programs, 244

  International schools, 208–210

  Internationalization, 284

  Internet-based schooling, 202–203

  Interpersonal conflict, 128, 181

  Interstitial culture, 14, 49

  Involvement stage of transitions, 66–67, 180–185

  Japan, 4, 16–17, 56–57, 92, 281–288

  Judgmentalism, 109

  Kaigai/kikoku-shijos, 279–286

  Knowledge, 145

  Lack of comfort, 81–83

  Languages

  learning new, 119–120

  mother tongue, 121, 199–200, 206

  spelling differences based on, 121

  Learning, 196–197

  Leave policy, 243

  Leaving stage of transitions, 67–69, 180–185

  Life lessons, 96

  Life patterns, 4

  Lifestyle, 77, 96

  Linguistic skills, 118–122

  Listening, 256–258, 260

  Local international schools, 208–210

  Local national schools, 205–207

  Loneliness, 71, 138, 151

  Loss(es)

  coping with, 165

  dealing with, 161, 192

  description of, 74

 

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