Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

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Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds Page 39

by David C. Pollock


  hidden, 76–80, 262

  lack of comfort and, 81–83

  lack of time to process, 81

  of lifestyle, 77

  mourning of, 187–188

  naming of, 252–254

  pain associated with, 76

  of the past, 79–80

  of possessions, 77–78

  protecting against, 137–138

  of relationships, 78–79

  relationships affected by, 137–140

  of role models, 79

  of status, 77

  types of, 252–253

  unresolved grief secondary to. See Unresolved grief

  of world, 76–77

  Loyalties, 90–92

  Making new friends, 71

  Maturity

  early, 145–146, 149

  uneven, 143–144, 149–150

  Mentor, 114, 188–191, 232

  Migratory instinct, 126–127

  Military/military lifestyle

  description of, 37

  domestic third culture kids, 34, 37

  forced extroversion created by, 135

  lack of permission to grieve, 80–81

  teacher-parent conferences in, 52

  Minorities, 58, 237

  “Mirrors,” 56, 226

  Missionary community, 81, 259, 264

  Mistrust of authority, 108–109

  Mobility

  cycles of, 73

  description of, 17, 40

  effects of, 65–66

  high. See High mobility

  historical overview of, 269–278

  short-term assignments, 64–65

  Mortality, 273

  Mother tongue, 121, 199–200, 206

  Motivation, 198

  Mourning of loss, 187–188

  Move/moving

  evaluations by family and parents before, 169–171

  sponsoring organization’s role in explaining need for, 241–242

  Multicultural children, 31–32

  Multilingualism, 118–119, 122

  National identity, 232

  National schools, 205–207

  Neither/nor world, 4, 18–20

  Now, importance of, 106

  Obama, Barack, 5, 27–28, 33, 48

  Observational skills, 115–116

  Online schooling, 202–203

  Organizational system and subculture. See also Sponsoring agencies and organizations

  conforming to, 154–155

  description of, 52

  fitting in with, 153–154

  identity created from, 153–156

  impact of, 264

  Pain, 76, 138, 253, 257

  Paradoxical realities, 264–265

  Parents. See also Family

  adolescent rebellion to gain attention from, 151

  of adult third culture kids, 255–260

  anger toward, 151–152

  asking for forgiveness, 259

  boarding schools and, 212

  child and, relationship between, 173–176

  comforting by, 258

  cultural values learned from, 48

  as educators, 196

  evaluations before moving, 169–171

  home culture of, 14, 22

  listening by, 256–258

  peers as, 50–51

  perception of work of, 176–177

  preaching by, 258–259

  relationship between, 172–173

  separation from children, 83, 140, 148

  support from, 255–260

  understanding by, 256–258

  visiting of, by children in home country, 243

  Passport country, 22, 54

  Passport culture, 48, 97

  Past

  loss of the, 79–80

  naming of, 251

  Peers

  anger at, 229

  as parents, 50–51

  as role models, 79

  Personal characteristics, 99–122

  Personal identity, 41, 57, 59–60, 141–143. See also Identity

  Pictures, 186

  PolVan cultural identity box, 55

  Possessions, 77–78, 184

  Postsecondary school education, 215, 243

  Preaching, 258–259

  Preassignment orientation, 241

  Prejudice, 104–106

  Preuniversity schooling in the home country, 213–214

  Privileged lifestyle, 18

  Problem-based learning, 197

  Profile

  adaptability, 100–101

  arrogance, 109–110

  authority, 108–109

  blending in, 102–103

  confused loyalties, 90–92

  cross-cultural enrichment, 95–96

  decisiveness, 106–108

  delayed adolescence, 146–150

  delayed adolescent rebellion, 150–152

  expanded worldview, 87–90

  introduction to, 87–88

  painful awareness of reality, 94–95

  personal characteristics, 99–122

  prejudice, 104–106

  skills. See Skills

  three-dimensional view of the world, 93–94

  Protecting of children, 175–176

  Quick release, 138

  Racism, 43

  Rebellion

  delayed adolescent, 150–152

  grief and, 163

  identity formation and, 155

  Reconciliation, 181–182

  Reentry

  benefits of, 234–237

  help during, 230–234

  preparing for, 231

  reactions to, 228–230

  sponsoring organization’s support during, 244–245

  stress associated with, 226–230

  Refugees, children of, 32

  Reinvolvement stage of transitions, 73, 191–192

  Rejection, 68

  Relationships

  with adults, 145

  content of communications, 135

  core, 78

  cultural differences in, 88

  deep, 132–136

  delays in creating, 149

  detaching from, 67, 138–140

  effect of losses on, 137–140

  establishing of, 144

  high mobility effects on, 131

  in home country, 222–223

  level of, 133–135

  loss of, 78–79

  maintaining of, 220

  new, making of, 71

  number of, 132

  nurturing of, 172–173

  parent-to-child, 173–176

  parent-to-parent, 172–173

  quick release from, 138

  sense of urgency in developing, 135

  value of, 136

  Relatives, 221, 260–261

  Religious organizations, 247

  Repatriation, 17, 244

  Representational roles, 15, 18

  Resources, 297–300

  Respect, 172

  Restlessness, 126–129

  Returning home, 222–223, 225–237

  Reverse culture shock, 227–228

  Role models, loss of, 79

  Role playing, 110

  Rootlessness, 123–126

  Rote-based learning, 197

  Sacred objects, 184–186, 223

  Sadness, 68, 162

  Satellite schools, 204

  School(s)

  boarding, 50, 126, 151, 171, 176, 211–213, 264

  choices regarding, 195–215

  correspondence, 201–203

  in cross-cultural settings, 196–197

  cultural values learned through, 198–199

  curriculum, 210

  description of, 49–51

  discipline systems, 197–198

  grading systems, 197

  home, 201–203

  Internet-based, 202–203

  local international, 208–210

  local national, 205–207

  motivational strategies, 198

  native languages, 199–200

/>   online, 202–203

  parents as educators, 196

  preuniversity schooling in the home country, 213–214

  satellite, 204

  sponsoring organization’s role in providing information about, 241, 243

  Screamers, 57, 103, 163

  Second culture, 14

  Self-centeredness, 69

  Self-esteem, 70

  Self-identity. See Identity

  Senioritis, 67

  Sense of belonging, 23–25, 153

  Shipping, 78

  Short-term assignments, 64–65

  Skills, 111–122, 146, 149, 240. See also specific skills

  Social rules, 115

  Social skills, 116–118, 149

  Social withdrawal, 118

  Spiritual code, 177

  Sponsoring agencies and organizations

  description of, 52–54

  family-specific policies, 240

  “flow of care” from, 241

  help from, 239–247

  long-term support from, 245–246

  loss of, 79

  mistakes by, 246

  reentry support by, 244–245

  schooling options, 241, 243

  Sponsoring agencies and organizations (Cont.)

  system created by. See Organizational system and subculture

  third culture experience affected by, 242–245

  Status, loss of, 77

  Statuslessness, 70–71

  Stereotypes, 43

  Stress

  cultural, 74, 190

  family, 240

  handling of, 170–171

  reentry, 226–230

  Surface culture, 42

  Survey, 269–278

  System identity, 18

  TCKs. See Third culture kids

  Teacher-parent conferences, 52

  Therapists, 261–265

  Third culture, 14–21

  Third culture adults, 22

  Third culture community, 17–18

  Third culture kids

  adult. See Adult third culture kids

  benefits of being, 5

  characteristics of, 3, 21–26

  classification as, 29

  commonalities among, 17, 35

  connections among, 29–30, 245

  cross-cultural childhood in, 37

  cross-cultural kids vs., 32

  definition of, 13, 15

  differences among, 35

  domestic, 32, 36–37

  future for, 265–266

  increases in number of, 4–5

  origins of term, 15

  reasons for being, 4

  significance of, 5

  variables that affect, 21

  Third World, 14

  Three-dimensional view of the world, 93–94

  Tradition, 45, 220

  Transitions

  cross-cultural, 40, 70

  dealing with, 179–193

  delayed adolescence secondary to, 147

  description of, 65–66

  entering stage of, 71–72

  frequency of, 192

  grief during, 74

  intensity of, 73–75

  involvement stage of, 66–67, 180–185

  leaving stage of, 67–69, 180–185

  loss associated with, 74, 192

  reinvolvement stage of, 73, 191–192

  stages of, 66–73

  transition stage of, 69–71, 185–188

  Traveling, 5, 218–219, 272

  Uneven maturity, 143–144, 149–150

  “Unfinished business,” 68

  Unrealistic expectations, 226–227

  Unresolved grief, 74–83, 151, 160–165

  Upbringing, 40

  Urgency, 106, 135

  Vicarious grief, 163–164

  Victim mentality, 107–108

  Wallflowers, 57, 230

  Welcoming of new employee, 242

  Withdrawal, 162

  Workplace, 112

  Worldview, 87–90, 113

 

 

 


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