How to Skimm Your Life

by The Skimm

  For when you feel all wound up…

  Just breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Breathing in through the nose helps slow the breath and fight infection, while breathing out through the mouth releases more carbon dioxide. All of which helps you sleep better.

  For when your head is full of too many things…

  Take an oxygen break. Use the 4-7-8 breathing technique to clear your head and relax your mind. Here’s how it works: Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds. Another one to try is called Nadi Shodhana. It’s a yoga breathing technique that’s supposed to help you focus. Plug your right nostril and inhale through your left. Then plug your left nostril and exhale through your right. Aaand repeat.

  For when you want to “live in the moment”…

  Meet mindfulness meditation. This is the type of meditation that focuses on breathing and bringing your attention to the present moment. The past and the future need not apply. You probably want to start with some help. Check out apps like Headspace and Stop, Breathe & Think for meditation guidance.

  How do I avoid pressing snooze?

  If you find out, let us know. While the snooze button is unavoidable, here are some wake-up tricks you can keep up your pajama sleeves. You’re welcome.

  For when you black out…

  Not like that. Talking blackout curtains. Instead of using them, try cracking your blinds open halfway. When the sun starts rising, the light will suppress melatonin production (aka the hormone that makes you fall asleep) and act like a natural alarm. Cock-a-doodle-snooze.

  How should I choose a bed and sheets?

  There are some tried-and-true tricks to getting it right. But first, nail down what different terms actually mean.

  WTF is a thread count?

  Thread count is the thing you’re supposed to care about but you might not (yet). It’s a sheet’s number of horizontal and vertical threads per square inch. Size matters. But bigger isn’t always better. Good sheets range anywhere from 200 to 800 thread count. Anything higher is probably BS. Companies can basically use multiple strands of low-quality cotton twisted together to inflate the thread count. So a sheet with 1,000 thread count might actually be worse than one with 400. Translation: Buying anything over 1,000 is like getting SPF 200. Just a marketing tactic.

  What about the mattress?

  It depends on what kind of sleeper you are. Turns out the way you nod off can help inform which type of mattress you buy.

  For when you sleep like a baby…

  Talking fetal position. This is the most popular zzz position. This also applies to log position, which is similar to fetal except your legs are straight. People who sleep like this reportedly have the best backs. Fetal and log sleepers should make sure to have a mattress with pressure relief, aka one that disperses their body weight evenly. Memory foam or a softer mattress will do the trick.

  For when you sleep stomach down…

  Cue “Free Fallin’.” This position is called the free fall. If you sleep like this, you probably want a firm-top mattress so you don’t feel like you’re being smothered by your bed—memory foam is a stage-five clinger for free-fall sleepers.

  For when you throw your hands up in the air…

  If you’re sleeping on your back with your arms out, you’re a starfish sleeper. You’ll want to get the middle child of mattresses—something that’s in between. Not too soft, not too hard, jusssst right.

  What happens between the sheets stays tangled at your feet in the AM. Cue washing. And folding.

  Oh, sheet. How do I fold a fitted sheet?

  1. Turn the other sheet. First, turn your sheet inside out.

  2. Get cornered. Hold the sheet by the two corners of one of the shorter sides (aka the ones at the foot or head of the bed). Put your hands inside the corners.

  3. Prayer-hand emoji. Bring your right and left hands together. Fold the corner in your right hand over the one in your left, enveloping it. Like the smothering kind of love.

  4. Hang low. Pick up the corner that is hanging in front. Fold it over the two corners in your left hand. The corner that’s showing will be inside out.

  5. Bring ’em up. Bring the last corner up, and fold it over the others; it should cover the other three corners.

  6. Life is a flat surface. Lay the folded sheet on a flat surface.

  7. It takes two. Fold the two edges. Make sure the elastic is hidden.

  8. Get geometric. Fold the sheet into a rectangle. Continue folding until the rectangle is the right size so you can fit it in your drawer.

  9. Change your name to Martha Stewart.

  I got no sleep last night. How do I deal at work?

  Make sure to choose a conference room with good pillows. While getting zero sleep is not ideal, there are ways you can try to avoid the midafternoon nap at work.

  For when your eyes are going bleary catching up on emails…

  Get a pick-me-up and do the sole survivor. Here’s how it works: Pick your feet up under your desk and hold for as long as you can. This will engage your core and give you an energy boost during the day.

  Note: The only real solution for feeling exhausted at work is getting to bed at a reasonable time. And if your space is neat, it’ll make you feel more relaxed and ready to unwind. Decluttering and cleaning will also make you more productive and clear-minded.

  OK, so how do I keep my space neat?

  Put something down. Pick it up. Put it away. Repeat. That’s a good start. Then raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Marie Kondo. The most effective way to reduce clutter is simple: Get rid of sh*t. We know that’s easier said than done. Here are some tricks to make your space and life more zen.

  For when your closet is overflowing…

  Apartments and extra baggage do not play well together. Use the hanger trick to get rid of or donate the stuff you don’t actually wear. Here’s how it works: Turn all your hangers one way. After you’ve worn an item—and only after you’ve worn it—turn its hanger the other way. After six months, the writing will be on the closet wall.

  For when your co-worker’s window shopping during a meeting…

  The “add to cart” addiction is real. Meet the 30-day list. For 30 days, do not buy anything except necessities. When you want to buy something, write it down in a Google doc, the Notes app, or wherever you keep your to-do list. At the end of 30 days, if you still want the thing on the list, have at it.

  For when you have piles on piles in your living room…

  Take the 12-12-12 challenge. Find 12 things to throw away, 12 to donate, and 12 to put back in their place.

  But what about keeping my stuff clean?

  Chances are, some of that stuff on the floor was dirty. Enter: cleaning and laundry. We are not going to tell you how to do your laundry except to say, do it. Wash your sheets once every two weeks. Wash your clothes when you sweat in them. Don’t be gross.

  How do I clean…

  A shower curtain

  How to do it: Put your plastic shower curtain in the laundry machine with some towels, plus half a cup of laundry detergent and half a cup of baking soda. Wash it in warm water on the regular cycle. Then add one cup of white vinegar to the rinse cycle.

  How often: You’re supposed to do this once a month. But we won’t do that, so aim for once every three months.

  A toilet

  How to do it: You’ll need a toilet bowl cleaner, gloves, a toilet brush, and some resolve. Start with the bowl. Put the toilet bowl cleaner around the edge of the bowl and into the bowl and scrub it all with the brush. Add one cup of white vinegar to the toilet after scrubbing and let it sit for an hour. Then flush it away. To clean the outside of the toilet, use the toilet cleaner and a cloth. Work your way from top to bottom.

  How often:
You’re supposed to do this once a week…but that seems unrealistic. Start with once a month. No one ever said Game of Porcelain Thrones was entertaining.

  A makeup brush

  How to do it: Get the bristles wet with lukewarm water and rub with a drop of soap. Rinse it off like you’d shampoo your hair. Then let the brush dry on the edge of a counter (avoid putting it on a towel because it can mildew this way). You can also buy wipes for this if you want a shortcut.

  How often: You’re supposed to wash brushes that are around your eyes twice a month and all others once a month.

  A trash can

  How to do it: Gloves on again. Yes, you do need to clean your trash can so it doesn’t smell. Wash it out with a hose—put it in a bathtub, outside, or somewhere you can hose it down. Spray with a disinfectant cleaner and then scrub it with the toilet brush (it’s baaaack). Now bring out the hose again and spray it all down.

  How often: Do this once a month or whenever you feel like cleaning. Spoiler: It can be surprisingly satisfying.

  A refrigerator

  How to do it: Take (or eat) the food out of the fridge. Then remove all drawers and shelves and soak them in warm water and dish soap. Get a sponge and wipe down the interior with warm water and dish soap. Baking soda mixed with warm water is your secret weapon to remove leftover stains. Leave it on for a minute and then wipe off.

  How often: Once a season.

  An AC

  How to do it: “No filter” is not a humblebrag here. The filter on your AC is essential to making sure the air in the room is clean. So you need to make sure the filter itself is clean. For a window unit, unplug it and then remove the front plate. Vacuum the coils to get sh*t that blocks air out. Check the drain pan (the part that pulls out) for algae, and wash it out with water. Then check the filter and replace it if it looks damaged or dirty. For central AC, wash down the condenser (the part that’s outside) with a hose. To clean the inside, unscrew the fan and move it aside. Use that same vacuum hose to clean out the inside. Then remove the air filter and use a narrow vacuum attachment to clean it out.

  How often: Once a year.

  There are some other things that will throw cleaning curve balls at you…

  How do I get out a grass stain?

  Combine one tablespoon of white vinegar and two tablespoons of water into a solution. Pour it out onto the stain. Let it sit for 15 minutes, then lightly scrub it with a toothbrush. Throw it in the wash and voilà—grass is no longer greener.

  Grease stain?

  You’ve got this. Remember: Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself. Every pizza grease stain is treatable if you use dish detergent. All you have to do is lightly scrub the detergent into the spot and then wash per usual. Piece of (greasy) pie.

  Wine stain?

  Get salty. Not talking about your comebacks after a few glasses. Salt is the tried-and-true secret wine stain weapon. First, blot out the wine (whether it’s on a shirt or a carpet). Do not rub the stain. Then pour a LOT of salt over the stain and let it dry. Wash with cold water. Some people like to pour club soda over the stain first. For very large or intense vino fails, try combining three tablespoons of hydrogen peroxide with one tablespoon of dishwashing liquid. Pour over the stain and let it lounge for a while.

  Pots and pans?

  Add two tablespoons of baking soda to your stained pot or pan and scrub with water.

  What about my duvet?

  You should wash the duvet cover in the washing machine as often as your sheets (at least once every two weeks). And wash the actual duvet once every two to three months, also in the washing machine. But check the label to make sure yours doesn’t need to be dry-cleaned.

  OK, my stuff is clean-ish. What about my face?

  It’s a wide skincare world out there. A lot of terms get thrown at (and on) your face. Whether your routine is soap and water or full of products we can’t pronounce, it’s helpful to know what’s available. Here’s the 411 on some popular ingredients and products.

  Toner

  The balancing act. It’s a liquid meant to get the skin’s pH balance in check. Skin is naturally acidic. But cleansers are more alkaline, which can throw the skin’s pH levels off-kilter. Some toners can remove oil and minimize pores, so experts recommend them most for people with oily skin. It’s optional, but it should be used right after cleansing.

  Serum

  A vitamin shot for your face. It’s usually a water-based product that goes deep. As in, it’s made up of small molecules that can get deep into your skin to deliver good ingredients. That can include vitamin C, one of the most popular types of serums. It’s also optional but should be used after toning. You can also apply multiple serums and layer them. Go wild.

  Retinol

  A form of vitamin A. And it gets an A grade in the anti-aging category. Retinol’s meant to reduce fine lines and increase collagen production. It’s supposed to be used after cleansing and before moisturizing at night. Less is more—a pea-sized drop is all it takes. Retinols may cause redness and drying at the beginning, so start small and use only once a week. Your skin has to build up a tolerance to it.

  Hyaluronic acid

  There are multiple “acids” you hear about for your skin (like glycolic acid, which is used for exfoliation). Hyaluronic acid is an ingredient that holds moisture in your face and helps keep skin hydrated. But for most people, it doesn’t replace a moisturizer. It helps your skin hold moisture while a traditional moisturizer seals that moisture in. Moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty.

  My face is clean but my head’s still a mess.

  Enter: food and exercise. These can help focus your mind and improve your mood. Mental health should always come first. More on that later.

  For when you’re feeling antsy…

  Get a move on it. This may seem obvious, but exercise is proven to improve your mood. Because endorphins make you happy. Studies have shown that 30 minutes a day is all you really need. 30 minutes: the amount of time you spent stalking your ex’s cousin’s best friend’s dog. If you’re not into running, some other types of exercise to try include, yup, yoga (good for relaxation), swimming (good for working out the whole body without putting strain on the joints), or…drumroll please…walking. Never forget: Power walking is an Olympic sport.

  I’m too busy to work out.

  We see your to-do list and raise you deskercize. Exercising at your desk is the best way to multitask.

  For when you get a second wind…

  I’m so excited! I’m so scared! Keep the ’90s nostalgia going with the butterfly clip. Under your desk, alternate lifting each leg up and then tapping each foot to the floor so your legs are fluttering like, yup, a butterfly. Do this until your legs hurt or someone notices.

  For when your boss is OOO…

  This means snack time. As in, get some calorie-free dip. Use your desk chair to do triceps dips. Put your hands at the edge of your chair, bend your elbows, dip it low, bring it up slow.

  For when you’re feeling sleepy…

  Remember your friend from earlier, the sole survivor. Lift up your legs for an instant pick-me-up and core exercise.

  How often should I go to the doctor?

  At minimum, once a year to your primary care provider and OB-GYN. And twice a year to the dentist. And women ages 50 to 75 should get a mammogram every two years to screen for breast cancer, while women 40 to 49 should talk to their doctors about their history to decide how often or if they should get mammograms.

  Anything I can eat to feel better?

  Chocolate. But seriously, you probably already know which foods are considered healthy vs. not so much. People will tell you to eat grains, fish, a lot of greens, and to bring bags of unsalted almonds on the plane instead of taking the pretzels. We’re here to tell you it’s OK to take the pretzels. But also to say that there�
�s a reason power foods are called power foods. Here’s a list of some and the reasons why certain foods give you gold stars in the health category. Plot twist: Most of them actually taste good.

  Berries

  Berry good for you, since they’re high in antioxidants. Antioxidants can act like cell healers. They can repair damaged cells and help you say “bye” to sickness.

  Mushrooms

  Veg out. Studies show that ’shrooms might help stabilize blood-sugar levels, which can even out your mood. They also promote healthy gut bacteria. And nerve cells in our gut contain most of our body’s serotonin (aka a chemical that helps regulate mood).