Finding Home

by Jamey Moody

  “Tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, it’s our bike ride day.”

  “I’m so happy for you. No one deserves to be happy more than you.”

  “Aw, thanks Sof.”

  “Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?”

  “Yep, I’ll text you when I get home.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  “I’m pretty sure they will be,” she said, disconnecting the call. Her thoughts took her right back to that bedroom, the French doors, and that kiss. She could feel Frankie’s lips on hers, those soft, delicious lips. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

  ***

  Frankie could see Olivia sitting on the bench in the park waiting for her exactly where they’d planned to meet. She was looking at her phone. Her golden hair, shining in the sun, was in a low ponytail so it would fit in her helmet. She took her breath away and then her stomach dropped. How was she going to tell Olivia about Laura? And what would she do? Would she run from all the baggage Frankie suddenly carried like the weight in their class?

  She had barely slept last night. There were so many thoughts running through her head. Laura showing up on her doorstep caused a flood of memories to come rushing back. And when she did doze off, she woke to Olivia’s beautiful face and remembered those luscious lips on hers and how her heart melted when their tongues met.

  Olivia looked up as if she felt Frankie there before she saw her. And when she did, the smile that appeared on her face was breathtaking. As Frankie got closer, Olivia’s face turned from joy to concern.

  “Hey, are you alright?”

  “Do I look that bad?” Frankie said, leaning her bike against a tree. She sat down next to Olivia.

  Olivia watched her for a moment. “You look tired. Is something wrong?”

  “I didn’t sleep much last night.”

  Olivia’s eyebrows raised her face full of concern. “What happened? Were you sick?”

  “No, not exactly. But before I explain, I want to tell you thank you again for such a wonderful time last night.” Frankie looked at Olivia earnestly.

  Olivia was happy that Frankie had a good time, but her stomach fell; something didn’t feel right. “I’m glad you had a good time. I did too.”

  Frankie took a deep breath and held Olivia’s eyes. “When I got home last night, Laura was sitting on my front porch.”

  Olivia’s face fell, “Laura? I thought she got married last night.”

  “It seems she couldn’t go through with it. She had been having doubts and when she got to the church she realized she was making a mistake.”

  “Wow. That must have been so hard for her.”

  “Yeah, she was really upset.”

  “Why did she show up on your doorstep though?” Olivia was beginning to get a really bad feeling about this. And her compassion for Laura was waning. When Frankie looked away Olivia’s heart sank.

  “She said it was a mistake ever leaving me.” Frankie found Olivia’s eyes again, her face falling as her stomach dropped. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Olivia.

  “Whoa.”

  “Yeah, I was obviously surprised and totally caught off guard.”

  “What did you do?” Olivia asked tentatively.

  “I didn’t know what to do, it was all so confusing.”

  Olivia could see the pain on Frankie’s face. “I’m sure it was.”

  “I listened to her for a minute while she calmed down, but I told her I needed time to process everything she said.”

  “What all did she say or am I overstepping?”

  “No,” Frankie said, reaching for Olivia’s hand. “You’re not overstepping. I still can’t believe it.” Frankie took a deep breath and continued, “She said she was going to spend the rest of her life making it up to me and asked me to please give her a chance. Give us a chance.”

  Conflicting emotions ran through Olivia. She felt compassion for Laura, but she was also mad at her for putting Frankie through this. And Frankie? They were just getting started. Or was it over before it really began? She was in love with Laura not that long ago. They sat in silence as these feelings continued their assault through Olivia’s heart and mind.

  Olivia had to know. She sat up straighter, “What did you decide to do?”

  “Nothing.”

  Relief washed over Olivia for a moment, “Nothing?”

  “Not last night. That’s when I told her I needed some time.” Frankie felt weary. She still had to call Laura and they had to talk at some point.

  “Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Olivia asked weakly.

  “I told her I’d call her today. I promised to hear her out, but it was too much last night.”

  “That’s why you had so much to think about last night.”

  “Yeah, at one point I thought of you and Stella.”

  “What?”

  “There was so much flying in and out of my head and I remembered you both saying meditation can calm your mind. I was sorry I never let you show me how.”

  “Oh Frankie, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.” Olivia stroked the back of Frankie’s hand with her thumb.

  Frankie looked into Olivia’s velvety brown eyes with tears in her own, “I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve got to at least listen to what she has to say.”

  Olivia’s eyes began to dampen as her heart ached for Frankie, “Of course you do. What can I do to help?”

  Frankie shook her head. “Would you mind if we didn’t ride today?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Thanks. I don’t think I have the energy.”

  “Understood.” Olivia had never been in a situation like this. She wanted to comfort Frankie, but she also wanted her. She didn’t want to bash Laura, but she hurt Frankie and therefore needed a little bashing.

  “Could we just sit here a minute? Oh man, Olivia. Am I making you uncomfortable? After a wonderful night, I show up talking about an ex. Why aren’t you running away.”

  Olivia chuckled, surprised that she could. “I’m not running because I’m on my bike. We did have a wonderful night, but Frankie I’m your friend and whatever you need, I’m here. So, I’d love to sit here and hold your hand. Okay?”

  “I really need that.”

  “Done.” Olivia sat back and took Frankie’s hand. People meandered through the park, birds sang, and kids played. Frankie’s breathing calmed and she laid her head on Olivia’s shoulder. Olivia smiled to herself and leaned her head on Frankie’s. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Frankie sat up.

  “I’d better go.”

  Olivia nodded.

  Frankie leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class?”

  Olivia smiled, “I’ll be there. And Frankie, if you need anything…”

  “Thanks.”

  She watched Frankie ride away. Olivia couldn’t believe how wonderful her life was an hour ago and how unsettled it felt now. Frankie wasn’t the only one that didn’t feel like riding, so Olivia pedaled home. As soon as she got there she pulled out her phone and texted Sofia.

  Olivia: Feel like doing some day drinking?

  Sofia: What happened to your bike ride?

  Olivia: Can you come over?

  Sofia: Be there in 30.

  One thing Olivia loved about Sofia was that when she really needed her, she’d drop what she was doing and be there. Just like now. While she waited for Sofia, she changed clothes and got a beer, then sat in her metal rocker on the patio. The rhythmic movement could sometimes ease her troubled mind, but not today. Last night with Frankie had been almost perfect. She could sense the strengthening of this cord that pulled them together. They had been seeing each other several times a week for several weeks and building a friendship and yet, there was that tug... to be more. They had finally taken that step and now what?

  “Hey, where are you?” Sofia called.

  “Out back, grab you a beer.”

  Olivia heard the refrigerator door open and c
lose and the hiss when Sofia opened her beer. She heard her open the cabinet door to get a coozie and then step on the porch.

  “What a beautiful day,” she said sitting in a chair next to Olivia and taking a drink of her beer.

  Olivia smiled, Sofia was rarely subtle but she knew just how to act with Olivia. “Yeah it is.”

  “So, why are you not riding your bike with Frankie?”

  Olivia sighed, “After such a perfect date last night, today couldn’t have been much worse.”

  “Uh, I believe you said it was the most romantic night of your life. So what changed?”

  Olivia looked at Sofia, “Laura called off the wedding. She was waiting on Frankie’s porch last night when she got home.”

  “Oh my god, you’re kidding!”

  “Nope, and it gets better. She said she made a terrible mistake and wants Frankie back.”

  “Too bad! I hope Frankie sent her on down the road.”

  Olivia looked at Sofia, shaking her head, “You know Frankie isn’t going to do that. She was crying and upset. I guess she came from the church and was waiting on her.”

  “So what did she do?”

  “Nothing. She’s supposed to call her today so they can talk.” Olivia looked out over her yard and rocked harder.

  “Nothing?”

  “That’s what she said. Frankie looked so tired, she didn’t get much sleep and I know she’s confused. She said she didn’t know what to do.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Yeah. I guess she’s going to hear her out and, I don’t know, maybe they’ll get back together?”

  “Wow. I don’t know Olivia, it’s been awhile and she seemed over her, you know?”

  “That’s what she told me but, she was in love with her, remember. And you don’t just fall out of love.”

  “I know that, but time passes and you move on. That’s what Frankie’s done.”

  “Maybe. But she was forced to move on, Sof. She wasn’t the one that broke up.”

  “Yeah,” Sofia sighed. “What are you going to do?”

  “What can I do? I told her I was here for her, but I'm not really the one she should be talking to about this. She did say she had a wonderful time last night.”

  “That’s something,” Sofia paused. “Look Olivia, I know Frankie is a nice person and has a big heart, but she said she was never going to be someone’s first again. Remember?”

  “Yes, I remember. But I don’t think that matters now,” Olivia sighed. “She did say she’d see me tomorrow.”

  “Good. This is really unbelievable, isn’t it?”

  “That’s the way things go for me. I finally work my way back from feeling like I’m not good enough and find someone that’s wonderful! Only for the ex that she was in love with to come back.” Olivia finished her beer and stood, “Do you want another?”

  “So that’s it, you just let Frankie go back to this woman that broke her heart and will again?”

  “Let her? It’s not up to me, Sof.”

  “You could give her a better option.”

  “What?”

  “You know Frankie felt how wonderful last night was, too. So show her there’s a better woman for her and it’s you.”

  Olivia thought about what Sofia said and went in to get them both another beer. She handed one to Sofia, “I don’t know, she said she didn’t know what to do and I don’t want to add to the pressure she already feels. But part of me feels like this was the beginning of forever.” She turned to Sofia, “Please don’t make fun of me. I know all we’ve shared is a kiss, but that kiss... it was like a promise of everything to come.”

  “Olivia, are you falling for Frankie?”

  “I already have,” she said with a sad smile.

  Chapter 11

  Frankie watched Grace walk into the restaurant with relief. She hoped talking to Grace would help her make sense of the whirlwind that had suddenly become her life.

  “Thanks for making time for me today.”

  “Glad I could. I have to say, it seems that we meet anywhere but the office.”

  “It works though.”

  “And that’s what matters.”

  Their waitress took their drink order and gave them a few minutes to peruse the menu. Grace watched Frankie over the top of her menu, her anxiety visible.

  “Are you not hungry? You may be looking at that menu, but you’re not seeing it.”

  “No, I’m not. And before you ask, I haven’t had much sleep either.”

  “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

  The waitress came back over bringing their drinks and took their orders. When she left, Frankie took a deep breath. “I had the best date with Olivia Saturday night.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Good for you!”

  “When I got home, Laura was there. She couldn’t go through with the wedding, left the church, drove straight to my house, and waited until I got home.”

  “Why did she call it off?”

  “According to her, she began having terrible feelings that she was making a horrible mistake. All she could think about was me and these feelings built until she couldn’t go through with it.”

  “How did that make you feel.”

  “Confused, angry, happy.”

  “Understandable. Let’s start with the happy.”

  “I used to dream that she would show up one day and tell me she still loved me and was wrong to leave.”

  “So did that dream come true?”

  “Not really. Part of me wanted to grab her and hold her, but that quickly turned to anger.”

  “Go on.”

  “You can’t mess with people’s hearts like that, but then again I know now that’s not what she was doing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t talk everything through with her that night because it had all just happened. I didn’t want to say something I would regret or couldn’t take back.”

  “That was smart.”

  “I have learned a few things from you and our sessions. I met her the next day and listened.”

  The waitress brought their food and they waited until she walked away.

  “Hold on just a sec. You said you were happy, angry and confused. What was the confusion.”

  “I had just been on this romantic date with Olivia and that’s all I was thinking about. Then I look up and there’s Laura. There were a lot of emotions running through me.”

  “Do you want to tell me about this date?”

  Frankie’s eyes glazed over as she went back to Saturday night, she remembered their moonlight walk, how Olivia’s hand fit so perfectly in hers. And that kiss... her cheeks reddened just thinking about it.

  “I’ve told you how I feel drawn to Olivia, and when we see one another it’s usually in class or on bike rides and other people are around. But Saturday night it was just us and we didn’t have to fight that pull. We could sink into, embrace it. Like I said, it was very romantic and…,” Frankie didn’t finish as she searched for the words.

  “And?”

  “It’s hard to explain but, you know that feeling when you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be? You could feel peace, comfort, excitement, or all those rolled into one. Saturday night I felt like Olivia King was the woman I was supposed to be with,” she paused. “Maybe forever.”

  Grace nodded her head, “How was your talk with Laura?”

  Frankie sighed, “She said everything I wanted to hear, if it had been months ago. But now? I could see her heart breaking because she didn’t want to hurt me, but she did. She knows that and wants me to give her a chance, give us a chance. When she says it like that it makes all these good memories flood back. She said she will earn my trust back.” Frankie stopped and took a deep breath.

  Grace waited, giving Frankie a moment.

  Then she continued, “She said she didn’t want me to make any kind of decision right now. She’s texted me a couple of times, but she hasn’t been pushy.”

  “And what
about Olivia?”

  “I saw Olivia on Sunday and told her about Laura showing up on my porch. And I told her she wanted me back.”

  “How did she react?”

  “As a good friend would; she said she was there for me, but I can’t really talk about this with her, now can I?”

  “So, what now?”

  “That’s what you’re supposed to help me figure out.”

  “You know where to look.”

  “I know, in my heart. One minute I think about how good it was with Laura and how happy we were. Then the next minute, I think what it could be like with Olivia. Next, I ask myself if I could ever trust Laura again. Does she mean it this time? Because she did before. Then all I can see is Olivia’s face and feel her hand in mine. It’s like that, back and forth, back and forth. I’m exhausted.”

  “Maybe you need to step back from all of this, let the emotions calm somewhat and then take a fresh look.”

  “I have class with Olivia tonight and feel like I owe her something. An explanation. And we ride bikes tomorrow.”

  “An explanation? What would you say to her?”

  “That’s just it, I don’t know.”

  “And what about Laura, how did you leave that?”

  “She said she’d give me some time.”

  “You haven’t eaten much. My advice is to get some rest, eat what you can, and try to step back and take a breath. You’ll figure this out Frankie, but you don’t have to do it today.”

  Frankie nodded and released another deep breath.

  ***

  Olivia had been thinking about Frankie all day and couldn’t wait to see her. This was the last week for their weight-lifting class. She wasn’t concerned because she knew she’d still see Frankie during their bike rides and when she came to workout at Your Way. But Laura’s proclamation that she wanted Frankie back had changed everything. Olivia was unsure where that left her and Frankie and that made her want to talk to Frankie even more.

  She was working at the site, and when the developer came in with her boss, she knew it wouldn’t be good news. They had asked for several changes on one of the plans and she had been working on it all day.

  After their brief meeting, Olivia needed to stay and wait for the prospective buyers to come see the changes. There was no way she’d make class, so she called Sofia.