Finding Home

by Jamey Moody

  “We did, but it was about him. And within a month they were getting married.”

  “Do you think she wanted to marry you?”

  “We never talked about it.”

  “Did you make future plans or talk about what your relationship looked like down the road?”

  “Not really.”

  “Why do you think that is? If she was so quick to marry this guy, do you think she didn’t feel secure in her relationship with you?”

  They turned around and headed back to the shelter as Frankie considered Grace’s question.

  “Now that I think back, she did drop hints sometimes about wanting kids, but we never talked about having kids together.”

  “Why not? You were with her over a year and you lived together. Could you not see your relationship lasting? Because if you didn’t, maybe Laura picked up on that and didn’t think you saw her in your future.”

  “You could be right. I was secure in our relationship, but I never thought about marrying her or us having kids... I need to talk to Laura.”

  “I think you do because if you don’t know why she left then how can you not repeat the same thing again?”

  “I thought she felt secure too, but obviously she didn’t. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Now, let’s talk about Olivia for a moment. Have you seen a future with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “That was a quick answer.”

  “I know. I’ve been thinking about that and even before we went on an actual date, I could imagine us together.”

  They walked along in silence.

  Frankie stopped. “I’ll talk to Laura, but I think I know what happened and what I need to do.”

  “Do we need to get a couple more dogs and walk them?”

  “Nope. I need to talk to Laura.”

  “Okay. Let me know if you need to talk.”

  “I will.”

  ***

  Frankie heard a knock at her door. She came out of the kitchen with a beer and set it on the table before opening the door.

  “Hi,” said Laura.

  “Hi, thanks for coming over.”

  “Sure, you said you wanted to talk and I’m here.”

  “Would you like something to drink? I’m having a beer.”

  “Beer sounds good,” she said, sitting on the couch.

  “I like how you’ve changed things up in here.”

  “Oh, thanks,” she said, handing Laura a beer and sitting on the other end of the couch.

  After they both drank Frankie said, “Laura, do you remember us ever talking about the future or kids when we were together?”

  “Well, I did. But you never wanted to have that conversation.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Frankie, every time I would bring up kids or talk about marriage, you’d change the subject or we’d get interrupted and never finish the conversation.”

  Frankie shook her head as she said this, “Laura, I didn’t even know I was doing it.”

  “What? I thought you didn’t want to get married, and I wasn’t sure about kids.”

  Frankie swallowed, “Did you want to get married?”

  Laura took a deep breath, “Yes, I do want to get married someday, but I know you don’t want to and that’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay if that’s what you want. And I never said I didn’t want to get married.”

  “Frankie, what’s going on? Do you want to get married now?”

  “No. I’ve been thinking, and there had to be some reason in our relationship that you wanted out. Is it because we never talked about the future?”

  “Honestly Frankie, I messed up, too. I wanted you to fight for me, but when you didn’t, I figured you didn’t really want to be with me.”

  Frankie sat back on the couch, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me. And I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you.”

  “It’s okay, at least we’re talking now.”

  Frankie sat up and took Laura’s hand, “Yeah, but…,”

  “It’s too late. Isn’t it?”

  “I don’t know if it's too late. I loved you Laura, and when you left, I was devastated. I think we just weren’t meant for forever and you figured that out before I did.”

  “But I love you, Frankie. And we could have a good life together.”

  “Yeah, but don’t you want more than good?”

  Laura smiled sadly, “It’s that client, isn’t it?”

  Frankie furrowed her brow, “What?”

  “That you want to have a great life with, not good?”

  Frankie didn’t answer.

  “I’m not blind, Frankie. You couldn’t take your eyes off her at the restaurant.”

  “I’m sorry. I tried. That’s why I wanted to leave.”

  “What made you try this then?” Laura said pointing between the two of them.

  “I wanted to be sure. I did love you.”

  Laura sighed, “I love you, Frankie.” They sat for a moment before Laura got up, “Thanks for the beer.”

  Frankie walked her to the door and Laura turned to face her, “I’m sorry I hurt you Frankie. All I want is for you to be happy.” She kissed her on the cheek and walked out the door.

  ***

  Frankie thought about her conversation with Laura all night. When Desi came into the office the next morning, she told her what Laura said.

  “Am I hard to talk to, Des? Am I oblivious to other people? I mean how could I not see this when we were together?”

  “No, you’re not hard to talk to. Sounds to me like she may have wanted you to bring it up first, and when you didn’t, she dropped a few hints.”

  “And I didn’t notice.”

  “Maybe you didn’t want to notice.”

  “What?”

  “You said yourself you never did see a forever with her, so maybe you avoided those hints because you didn’t want to hurt her.”

  “It makes me a terrible person for not noticing.”

  “No it doesn’t Frankie.”

  “I don’t want to do that though, Des. I want to be honest, and I wasn’t.”

  “How were you not honest?”

  “By not talking about it, that’s not good.”

  “Look, you were both insecure in the relationship, but didn't want it to end. You can see that now, but you couldn’t when you were in it. You were uneasy because Laura had never been with a woman before. And Laura wanted a whole lot more than you wanted at the time. Neither one of you communicated very well.”

  “How do I keep that from happening again?”

  “Well, you know now. I don’t think you’ll do that again. Relationships are hard, Frankie. Look at us, we’re both single at forty-four. Personally, I think you have to be brave in a relationship and tell the other person your needs. And at the same time you have to want to hear theirs and work together to find the balance that makes you both thrive.”

  Frankie looked at her dumbfounded, “Where did that come from? Dang, Des!”

  “I’m not just a pretty face,” she said, smirking. Then added, “and body.”

  Frankie chuckled, “You are both.” Then she studied Desi, “Did you see this happening? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Desi sighed, “I didn’t know all of that was happening, but I could tell she wasn’t the one for you.”

  “How could you tell?”

  “I just knew, you’re my best friend. I’m not saying you didn’t love her Frankie, because you did. But if you remember, you were helping her through a hard time and she needed a friend. You became a friend with benefits.”

  “Ugh, that sounds bad!”

  “No it doesn’t. You were there for one another when you both needed it. I’m sorry it ended with both you hurt, but it’s life Frankie. We live, love, and learn.”

  Frankie sat there contemplating what Desi had said when Stella walked in.

  “Morning, you two.” She looked at them both, “What’s going on?”
r />   “Real talk with Desi. Did you know she could be a counselor?”

  Stella's eyebrows raised and she laughed, “I knew she had talents.”

  Desi slightly bowed her head, “Why thank you, Stel.”

  Frankie caught Stella up on what they had been talking about and Desi’s observations.

  “So, you know what you need to do now,” said Desi.

  “And what would that be?”

  “Come on Frankie don’t play dumb. You know exactly what you want to do.” Desi looked at her, head nodding, coaxing her. “Are you going to make me say it? Go get Olivia.”

  Frankie looked from Desi to Stella, sighing.

  “I think what Desi is trying to say in her eloquent way is that you felt a connection with Olivia. Now that you have ended things with Laura and know it’s over, you might want to explore this connection.”

  Desi tilted her head, smiling at Stella and then looked at Frankie, “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

  Frankie said softly, “I hope I’m not too late.”

  “What? Isn’t she away working?”

  “Yeah, but I saw her in a restaurant before she left on a date with a very beautiful woman.”

  “I told you that I doubted it was a date, Frankie,” said Stella.

  “But the more I thought about it, that woman was sophisticated and she ordered for them. Olivia was obviously enjoying herself.”

  “Oh my god, are you sure you haven’t been obsessing about it and maybe reading a little too much into it. You tend to do that, my friend,” said Desi.

  “She’ll be back in a couple of days. Talk to her”

  “I don’t want to mess this up.”

  Stella and Desi looked at one another then at Frankie, “We won’t let you.”

  Chapter 16

  The week had flown by for Olivia. She, Lucy, and Wes had made headway and now the project was back on track. She knew Elizabeth would be pleased. It had been a tough two weeks, but she was proud of the work they’d done and what they’d accomplished.

  It was her last night at the hotel; her flight left the following afternoon. She would miss her evening drinks with Jenna and Lucy. Most of the times her drinks were water or an occasional wine; the conversation and friendship is what she would miss. They were meeting in the lobby to go to dinner. Jenna insisted on sending her back home with a night she wouldn’t forget. She flirted with her at times and Olivia had to admit she liked the attention, but she could hardly wait to get home and see Frankie. She wasn’t sure their connection was as strong as she had told Jenna. Was she being hopeful? Foolish? These questions entered her mind daily and the answer changed just as often.

  Two weeks away had been long enough. She’d given Frankie time with Laura, but now she was coming home and was determined to show Frankie that they should see where this could go. One more night and she’d be home, where she belonged. Or did she? The thought had crossed her mind while working on this project that maybe it was time to push for her own and create the subdivision that lived in her head.

  When she walked off the elevator Jenna was waiting with a beautiful smile and a single red rose. She shyly dipped her head, then handed it to Olivia.

  “I know this is cheesy, but I wanted you to have it. You look incredible.”

  Olivia took the flower and inhaled it’s sweet scent, “You look stunning, Jenna. Thank you for the rose, but mostly thank you for making me feel amazing.”

  “You are amazing and I hope when you leave here you’ll remember that. Shall we?”

  “Where’s Lucy?”

  “She’s meeting us at the restaurant and she’s bringing someone with her.”

  “She is?”

  “I think she’s met someone and kept it quiet.”

  “She hasn’t said a word to me.”

  “She hasn’t really to me either, but I noticed her texting a lot lately and she’s gone up early the last few nights.”

  “I thought I was working her too hard,” Olivia said with a giggle.

  “Here’s our car,” Jenna said holding the door open for her.

  They made it to the restaurant and didn’t have to wait for their table. The waiter gave them menus and left them to wait for Lucy.

  “I thought you’d take a flight out tonight.”

  “I wasn’t sure we’d be finished and that way I’d have the morning to tie up loose ends.”

  “Well, I’m glad. I wanted one more chance to seduce you.”

  Olivia laughed playfully, “See Jenna, that’s what I like about you. Straight to the point so there will be no misunderstandings. Maybe I need to be more like that.”

  “I’m not usually like this. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but you’ve woken me up and I know our time together is short, so I’m making the most of it.”

  “I’m glad I could do that. Hmm, there comes Lucy, we can continue this later. Okay?”

  Jenna nodded, “Can’t wait.”

  “Hey y’all,” Lucy said walking up. “This is Audrey. Audrey, this is Olivia and Jenna.”

  “Hi Audrey, nice to meet you.”

  “Hi Audrey. You two have a seat.”

  “Thanks,” Audrey said looking around. “I’ve always wanted to come here.”

  “Glad you could join us.” Jenna continued, “We’re saying goodbye to our new, yet very good friend Olivia.”

  “That’s what Lucy told me. She said she’s learned so much from you.”

  “Aww, that’s nice. We did make a good team. I’ll miss these two,” she said looking from Lucy to Jenna.

  “Isn’t it funny how quickly you get to know one another when you’re staying at the same hotel,” said Lucy. “I mean I saw more of you than Jenna since we work together, but I feel like I’ve known you two forever.”

  “I know, I feel the same,” added Jenna.

  “Now, when is the triathlon? We’re coming up to cheer you on,” said Lucy.

  “What! You don’t need to do that. I’ll tell you all about it when I finish.”

  “Don’t you want us there?” asked Jenna.

  “Of course it’d be nice to have you cheering, but that’s a long way to come for a race.”

  “No it’s not, we’re kind of your coaches now. If it wasn’t for us do you really think you’d have gone for those swims, bikes, and runs? Knowing we’d be waiting with a drink after your workout had to be motivation,” Lucy said, laughing.

  “You know it was! Those happy hours were the highlight of my day, that’s why I worked out so early in the morning,” she replied laughing.

  The rest of the meal was spent in easy conversation and laughter. Lucy left with Audrey and promised to see Olivia before she left tomorrow.

  On the ride back to the hotel, Jenna said, “We have to have one more drink together.”

  “I’d be hurt if we didn’t.” This brought a huge smile to Jenna’s face.

  They got out of the car and walked into the lobby. Jenna turned to Olivia, “I have a very nice bottle of wine in my room.”

  Olivia smiled, “Glasses?”

  “I have those too.”

  “Let’s go.”

  The ride up in the elevator was quiet. As they walked down the hall Olivia said, “You’re not trying to get me drunk, are you?”

  “Oh Olivia, I wouldn’t do that. If anything ever happened between us I’d want for you to be sure with no reservations or influence.”

  “Influence? You’d be the influence, Jenna.”

  She unlocked the door and they went in. Jenna opened the wine and poured them both a glass. Olivia sat at the table and took a drink. “Oow, this is good.”

  “I thought you’d like it.”

  “Are you and Lucy really coming up for the triathlon?”

  “We want to.”

  “If you do, y’all have to stay with me.”

  “Will Frankie mind?”

  Olivia smirked, “I don’t think she will have moved in by then.”

  “So, what is your plan when you g
et back?”

  Olivia smiled, “You know Jenna, you actually helped me with this.”

  “I did?”

  “Yeah, you’ve shown me my worth. As you said, Frankie would be crazy not to be with me.”

  “It’s the truth!”

  Olivia chuckled, “I don’t know why, but I really do think our connection is strong enough to at least see what’s next. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in love before, but there is a force between us. I’ve never felt anything like it. Sometimes I have doubts that maybe I dreamed it”

  “What you described sounds a lot like what my wife and I had. You think about them most of the time and when you’re not, something pulls your thoughts right back to them. She would surprise me at work sometimes and it was like some Spidey sense, I knew she was there before I saw her.” Jenna released a big sigh.

  “I don’t mean to make you sad.”

  “Oh, I’m not sad. I miss her all the time and I know it’ll always be that way. But I also know there is love out there for me. And she is orchestrating it from wherever she is.”

  “So, she sent me to you?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Before I saw you sitting on that bar stool, I hadn’t looked at another woman. It’s not like I didn’t try! I would see a beautiful woman and nothing. But then there you were and something moved inside me. So yes, she sent you to show me that there is someone out there for me.”

  “What’s your wife’s name?”

  “Amber.”

  “Maybe Amber knew you needed a friend, and that’s me. I can’t imagine leaving here and not staying in touch, Jenna.”

  “Me neither. That’s why you’ll see me in two weeks. I’ll be the one cheering your name from different places on the course. Lucy and I have researched how to be a fan at a triathlon.”

  “No you haven’t!”

  “You know Lucy, right? The queen of research.”

  “Well, that’s true.” Olivia sipped her wine, looking off in the distance.

  “What are you thinking?”

  She let out a breath, “When Elizabeth asked me, which really means told me that I was coming down here I wasn’t very happy about it. I never dreamed I would make two incredible friends. This has been the best work trip ever.”