Channel Kindness

by Born This Way Foundation Reporters

  Taking that a step further, the student volunteers make a concerted effort to be present not just to deliver the birthday cakes but to witness the reaction of those in attendance. Their kindness is usually acknowledged with such heartfelt gratitude that they are all the more inspired. Sometimes there’s that one person who’s speechless—like the child who wrote them a thank-you note later, saying, “Wow! A cake with my name on it! I’ve never seen one with my name before.” There is general consensus from all the recipients that their own birthday cakes make them feel valued by the entire community. One little girl commented in amazement, “And they don’t even know us.” Another said, “It’s nice they do this for other kids, too.”

  * * *

  The BC4F student volunteers have been known to visit with recipients after the birthday celebration is over. At an event at the Greentree Shelter in Bethesda, Maryland, members lingered to speak with a group of fifteen adults for almost three hours, curious to know and understand more about their experiences, opinions, and lives. Inspiration, compassion, and frosting floated all around.

  Aliya Klein, the secretary of BC4F of Montgomery County, explains the significance of the cakes themselves: “A birthday cake is a symbol for celebration, and since the celebration of life is extremely important, I think everyone should have the opportunity to receive one on their birthday.”

  Now in college, Allison has handed the reins of the organization to her brother Robert and cousin Sawyer, and is confident that the team’s efforts will flourish in their well-trained hands. While they’re in charge now, she still points out that for their BC4F chapter to continue to grow, public donations are always appreciated— especially because of the high cost of cake-decorating supplies and especially the cake-delivery containers.

  Allison’s conviction that a basic blueprint for a charity could be put into action and run by youth has paid off, something that has empowered her immeasurably. “Simply put, my involvement in BC4F shaped my high school experience by giving me confidence that I can be a leader who can make a difference in my community.” The chapter’s collective success is concrete evidence that young people can make a meaningful impact in their communities.

  Although the national organization of the BC4F dissolved in 2019, the BC4F is its own 501c(3) nonprofit organization and titled Birthday Cakes 4 Free Maryland. As of March 2020, BC4F has donated 5,638 cakes to 23 charities in the DC Metropolitan area, and the organization has over 750 volunteers. This wonderful nonprofit is full of dedicated, passionate individuals who are helping spread love and joy in free-birthday-cake form, and some who are even real-life genies making wishes come true.

  Hana, you are so right. So many people think changing the world means you have to start your own organization and campaign, and while that’s absolutely part of it sometimes, there is so much amazing work already happening. Let’s learn about what exists—strengthen those efforts and help solve more problems. Check out Idealist and VolunteerMatch to learn more about the good things happening in our communities.

  7

  THE ART OF KINDNESS

  NICHOLAS MCCARDLE

  Every picture tells a story.

  That’s one of the lessons that young artists are apt to discover whenever they gather for summer classes with their teacher, Claire Pittman, an artist and college student attending West Liberty University near Wheeling, West Virginia.

  Claire—who grew up with a passion for art—is a believer in the power of self-expression and feels that it’s important to cultivate creativity in others. Especially in young people. Even at a very young age, she could always be found creating a visual story. Abstract finger paintings, drawings of cartoon characters, still lifes, impressions of nature, people … you name it.

  Art gave her an outlet and an escape from issues in her life and their emotional toll, which Claire learned to hide. Her sensitivity to whatever was going on, bad or good, and her identity as an artist made her feel different, somehow separate and apart from others—which led to her being frequently singled out. The discomfort of feeling “other than” or “less than” also became something Claire tried to hide. She figured that if she was being called out for her sensitive personality in general, it would only make it worse to show her passion for art.

  Yet as time went on, she found ways to turn those perceived negatives into true positives. “Funny enough, what I was hiding would ultimately bring me out into the light,” Claire said.

  “And being different would be what makes me, well, me.”

  The journey toward embracing herself and one of her biggest inspirations for artwork began in her grandfather’s sunflower garden. As a little girl, she used to revel in the beauty of the towering plants. Each year, her grandfather would cut the sunflowers down for her and her sister to use as walking sticks, and sometimes, she'd pick apart the petals to press into books.

  To this day, her grandfather still has a sunflower garden, and Claire visits regularly to take photographs that inspire new visual stories to tell. “Those sunflowers were such a crucial part of my childhood,” she notes with a fond twinkle in her eyes, “and I long for those times.”

  Another meaningful influence was her own art teacher in school—who she feels was responsible for helping broaden her mind to see the world, herself, and her art in a whole new light. During a summer internship, her mentor also opened a door that led to Claire’s first teaching experience. Through this, she was able to realize the extent of her compassion and patience for children, and her understanding of them.

  Everything became clear: Her calling as an artist was to work with kids. But where could she begin to pursue that path? When the answer came to her—to start with the fun of hosting summer art classes in her home—Claire thought, Why not? and decided to drop a few mentions on social media to pique interest. After gaining some inquiries, she got right to work on organizing classes. Her hope was twofold: 1) To plant an appreciation of art in her students; and 2) To introduce them to the craft of expressing themselves as individuals.

  “Self-expression is human nature,” Claire says. “To open children up at an early age and to keep them open through the years with art … that is a wonderful thing.”

  Proving the Field of Dreams adage, “If you build it, they will come,” she soon had a group of students signed up, raring to go. For the first class, and those that followed, the session began with Claire welcoming every kid into her home. The group gathered around her kitchen table, where she engaged them in simple, open conversation. They were able to share how their days were going, how they were spending their summers, and any stories they wanted to tell. Claire cherished the warmth and freeflow of the exchanges, finding genuine enjoyment in listening to her students.

  Next, as she had planned, the group easily slid right into that day’s art project. Claire worked along with them, guiding and giving instruction. Her goal was to encourage and never to criticize, always making sure every young artist was given their own creative freedom. After projects were complete, it was snack time!

  Pleased with the structure after a few days of having class up and running, Claire had to say, “It’s such a wonderful routine. I wish we could do it every single day!”

  The lessons learned were many. Claire feels that whether the stories shared in conversation suggested ideas for artwork or the pictures produced by the artwork inspired stories, it didn’t matter. What counted was the happy experience shared with one another in its making. The bonds that Claire and her students made over the course of that summer were her biggest reward. She loved hearing and telling stories and getting to know all about each student, right down to their favorite colors, most beloved hobbies, even their hopes, worries, dreams, and goals. Without saying it in so many words, she felt the kids realized they could have a teacher who might have been a lot like them when she was their age.

  More than anything, Claire says she is forever grateful for those kids who stuck with her through her program’s first flight and who ga
ve her the chance to do what she loves. Their discoveries further inspired her, firing her up with an even greater passion for art and the opportunity to teach it.

  Without question, that inspiration goes two ways. Claire’s hope is that as she moves forward as an art teacher, her current and former students will continue to love art in general and to love making it themselves. With the new perspectives she was able to show them, she further hopes they’ll flourish not only on their artistic journeys, but also in their growth as communicators and as warmhearted, kind human beings.

  For all who have a talent, passion, or calling, why not follow Claire’s example by choosing to share your knowledge with those in your community, perhaps by offering classes?

  The more we share our stories—through words or pictures, music or drama—the kinder our world will be.

  Wow, how beautiful. I especially love Claire’s comment that what she was hiding would ultimately bring her into the light. I’ve had that same experience and art has been absolutely healing for me. You’re right, Nicholas, self-expression is so important and art is one of the many ways you can express your feelings. Your art matters. What you have to say matters. If you’d like to explore the many ways art can help you, a friend, or your child, check out The Dreaming Zebra Foundation or Art Feeds, as well as local resources in your communities.

  8

  KINDNESS in SPORTS

  NICHOLAS DOORLAY

  To a lot of male athletes and their fans, kindness is uncool. On high school football fields and basketball courts, that reality is embedded in the macho, combative culture of the game. It’s also reflected in the fights and bouts vividly seen in most major sports leagues—from the NFL to the NBA, NHL, MLB, and so on. In boxing, wrestling, mixed martial arts, and other such matchups, the battles and the language are all about brute force and are aimed at completely debilitating your opponent.

  Athletes, competitive by nature, may be prone to allowing their tempers to flare. They may even lose their cool on purpose if it can give them an advantage. Hey, they’re just out there trying to win. You can’t blame them. It’s as simple as that.

  But what if it’s not as simple as that? Wild idea, right? At least, it seemed that way to me, up until the end of my freshman year of high school. Though I’d grown up playing every sport imaginable, once I started the ninth grade, my choice had been to focus on baseball. The expectation had been that I’d play all four years.

  However, after that first season, I’d had enough. Within our own team and the other teams in our league, the negative energy seemed pronounced. In my experience, no one was very kind, and it was a little too cutthroat out there, especially for freshman baseball.

  In my sophomore winter season, when I drifted toward basketball, a sport that, at six feet six inches, I hoped might be a better fit, it was the same deal. How disappointing to confront this perception that somehow being kind, compassionate, and concerned about someone else was a sign of weakness. Though I loved the sport, I was distraught by the dog-eat-dog, every-player-for-themselves atmosphere, and I could not handle being around it for hours at a time.

  With spring rapidly approaching, I worried that maybe my days as a high school athlete were numbered. That was when I was convinced to try out for track and field. With some trepidation, I decided to give it a shot.

  This third attempt at finding the right sport immediately proved to be the charm. No longer a misfit, I felt like this was where I’d belonged from the start. Kind of like the story of the ugly duckling, who didn’t know he was actually a swan all along. The sport itself hooked me the minute I joined and hasn’t let me go since. Better yet, the members of the team got along with one another and were unapologetically kind. And at my first meet, much to my happy surprise, I witnessed the fact that, in this athletic contest, everyone is your friend.

  In no way are track and field athletes seen as weak or lesser competitors. At track meets, I have met more kind people than anywhere else in my life. At first I had to ask if there was an explanation, if perhaps the sport managed to just attract people of extreme kindness. Maybe that is partly the case, but I quickly realized what was actually happening: In the atmosphere of track, it is cool to be kind. In such a setting that recognizes the coolness of kindness, you also recognize the true nature of being a champion and just how awesome people can be.

  The big breaking news is that when you are in an atmosphere where kindness becomes the norm, you realize that it is indeed possible to be competitive and kind at the same time. Think of how cool this is: At one meet where twenty-six high jumpers were vying for the top seven spots in order to move on to section finals, every athlete out there was 100 percent supportive of the others and cheering everyone on. The same athletes I was getting ready to try to best were giving me tips and pointers.

  Learning to see kindness as a strength is a lesson I believe will shape who I am and make me that much more formidable in life, as well as in track and field competitions. If you’re in a sport or on a team that seems too cutthroat or aggressive, try leading by example and adopting an attitude of kindness. You may make a new friend. During my first track season, I made at least ten new friends from opposing schools alone. Instead of yelling at an opponent, give a pointer or cheer them on.

  When I performed at Super Bowl LI, we brought kindness (in the form of Born This Way Foundation) to Houston, and with our partners at Mattel, we gave out more than 10,000 toys to local nonprofit organizations. Nicholas and I agree: kindness is cool and it definitely has a place in sports. His story is the perfect example of how we can bring kindness into any sport, activity, or hobby we engage in. The next time you play sports, either for fun or competition, we challenge you to practice good sportsmanship, and if you need some tips on how to get started, visit Good Sport Club or Playworks.

  It’s much easier to be competitive and kind than you think. And once you try that the first time, it’s pretty hard to stop.

  9

  KINDNESS CREATES COOL

  JESSICA ZHANG

  Arizonans like to say that they manage to withstand their summers’ brutal heat by insisting, well, that it’s a dry heat—unlike other, much steamier and more humid parts of the country. Yet, dry or not, the truth is that not everyone can escape into the cooler confines of air-conditioned offices, homes, or cars or grab the chance to take a refreshing dip in a pool. And with temperatures often soaring to over 100 degrees Fahrenheit and sometimes lasting spans of weeks, the heat in cities like Phoenix has increasingly become intolerable for many and even life-threatening—with heat strokes and dehydration on the rise for the common resident.

  Among the most vulnerable in the summer months are those experiencing homelessness—a problem that one man is passionately setting out to address.

  Phoenix native Matthew Tees is a social entrepreneur whose business is named CART Mobile Convenience. Through CART, Matthew travels around downtown Phoenix, selling prepackaged food, drinks, and other miscellaneous items. Matthew sells his wares from his electric-powered golf cart, mostly at locations in and around Phoenix with stops primarily at office buildings, restaurants, and schools. For every water bottle he sells, he donates a water bottle, and for every food item he sells, he donates a food item.

  His call to action came from two realizations in one day. The first, as he notes, was that in an instant-gratification society, most working people and others want immediate access to food and drinks as well. “I wanted to be able to provide those items to people who can’t leave the office or job site,” he says. The second realization was that the Phoenix community would want to support the less fortunate by patronizing a business trying to make a difference.

  Matthew decided to make a bet on convenience and kindness.

  After being approved by the city as a small mobile business, he went from having fifteen transactions the first day to selling more than 1,250 water bottles and three hundred food items within only a few months—then delivering those same quantities to those in
need.

  Matthew has a menu that is twofold: ever-evolving to accommodate the needs of his customers and help the community.

  First off, busy downtown workers can support the small business and quickly grab a snack during a break. There is both variety and convenience associated with buying from CART. Secondly, Matthew helps deliver all the donated proceeds to benefit those impacted hardest by the extremely dry weather conditions and soaring temperatures.

  Matthew greets all his customers with a contagious friendliness, always asking, “How’s your day going today?” hoping to cheer them up with conversation, laughter, and food.

  As to why he gives away equal numbers to what he sells, Matthew explains, “I am a downtown Phoenix resident, so I witness firsthand a lot of less-fortunate, forgotten-about people.” It just makes sense that if he is building a business he would want a portion of his profits to go back to the neighborhood and all its residents. The “buy-one-give-one” approach of social entrepreneurships like TOMS Shoes and Warby Parker has proven to be a successful business model. Customers like knowing their dollars will go toward uplifting someone else and solving a growing social issue.

  * * *

  To that end, Matthew has become well-versed in the reality of the systemic problem of unequal access to water and food in the hot temperatures of Arizona. He likes his beneficiaries to feel as appreciated as his customers. “It is my goal to provide them with a cold bottle of water, a smile, and a kind, humane interaction—something they might not often get in their circumstances.”