Channel Kindness

by Born This Way Foundation Reporters

  Kensey’s Memory Journal Guide Book has already spread beyond her college and local communities as a therapeutic tool for anyone going through the grieving process. The healing properties of writing and focusing on memories of loved ones are well known in therapy settings, but what makes Kensey’s method unique is that it is written from the point of view of someone who has gone through the emotional roller coaster of loss and come out the other side. Kensey has even adapted a version of the guide for younger children to use when they lose someone they love and want to remember.

  “I took a kind thing that someone did for me and amplified it,” Kensey points out. “I encourage people to take the things that they appreciate and then try to emulate those in their own lives.”

  At some time in all of our lives, loss does become inevitable. When that time comes, hopefully you will gain guidance from the kind, loving advice once given to Kensey, which she has continued to pass on to others. Her example is a wonderful reminder of how kindness can heal, transform, and inspire. Kensey, who graduated from WVU with two degrees and is pursuing her PhD at Vanderbilt University in pharmacology, is quick to note that it’s never too late to start your own memory journal. For just a few bucks, you can pick up some notebooks and pen or pencil for yourself (or a friend) and begin journaling your memories today.

  You’ll be creating a treasure chest that’s yours to keep forever.

  17

  POETIC FORMS OF ENGAGEMENT

  TAYLOR M. PARKER

  Ashley Dun and Jesse Cale—founding partners of the Columbus, Ohio–based Secret Midnight Press—have a fascinating story to tell. And they believe it is through our most deeply felt stories that we dare to tell to others that bonds of kindness, compassion, and connection are forged.

  Their success has been self-made. As they describe on their company’s website (in a chapter they’ve titled “Friends That Cry Together, Ride Together”), in their younger days they were the kind of friends who would huddle together to talk about “the saddest songs they’ve ever heard and favorite films specifically ending in tragedy.” Once adulthood hit, the friendship continued, and eventually they decided to “finish the books they had always talked about writing.” But why stop at creating poetry, stories, music, and more? Why not launch a “publishing company and curiosity brand”?

  In a short amount of time, the two accomplished that ambitious goal and more—publishing poetry collections individually and together. Rather than waiting to be given a publishing deal, or looking for an outside venue to offer them a safe space for their authentic voices to be heard or a music platform for performance opportunities, Dun and Cale had the courage to basically hire themselves by creating those outlets on their own. They soon went on to expand their team and are now growing a stable of authors while building an impressive international audience and a global community of fellow creatives. As the two perform and travel the country, as well as Europe, their shows include invitations for audience members to “share their art and share their heart,” through an open-mic platform.

  Definitely a dynamic duo, Dun and Cale generously empower their followers to embrace their own truths, gifts, and the creative voices that set them apart—just as the two of them have.

  Cale, a poet and musician, refers to himself as a “deep-feeling, magic being” and has said that he wants to be known as “a storyteller, an imaginative person, and a creator.” Raised on bedtime stories his father used to make up on the spot, Cale has a lot to say about how stories forge connections between the teller and the listener:

  “I’ve lived a very interesting life, and I love recalling it to tell stories … how people describe things—like the taste of food or the way they felt after watching a movie or hearing a certain song—is even storytelling … Everything can be a story. It’s all about how people fall in love with life, the things that they love in life, and the things that make you hurt that people like to talk about. When it comes down to it, it’s the things that make you feel that you talk about and that can become the story.”

  Dun, who has called herself a “highly sensitive person and empath,” has spoken about how sharing stories can be a means of offering kindness and helping to promote empathy—whether for oneself or for others:

  “Being kind and empathetic makes my life easier—because if somebody does something that hurts me, I’m able to be sensitive to their story and how their brokenness may have led them to that. It helps me not hold on to bitterness and have the fulfillment of deep relationships in these times. It’s interesting, as a woman, to be accepted as sensitive, and it can be perceived as weak (which I do not want), but I go on stage every night to share my art. I just hope that it can inspire more women and more people to be sensitive and authentic.”

  Audience members who have attended their events around the nation are evidence of the impact that the work of Secret Midnight Press has already achieved. Event attendees echo the fact that these performances not only establish and sustain a community for creatives but also inspire others to join in sharing their stories, being kind to themselves, and finding strength in vulnerability—a key ingredient in self-expression and art.

  The Secret Midnight Press events, said one fan, made them feel “safe and supported” and seemed to make strangers feel as if they’re surrounded by friends. Another attending poet said, “I couldn’t feel alone here, no matter what I’m going through.”

  Others who have been part of the events—both in this country and abroad—express deep gratitude to the two inspiring poets for creating a platform where all are encouraged to share stories, poetry, music, and other creative efforts. To those seeking input about how to go further as creatives, and to all young or aspiring poets and storytellers, Ashley Dun and Jesse Cale have special messages for you:

  “Have grace always. Stay rooted in love and compassion for others and for yourself. Be brave. Speak up and speak out. Ask for help when you need it. Know that things will be okay.”

  —ASHLEY DUN

  “Share your heart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Please try to be a friend to yourself, no matter how hard that may be.”

  —JESSE CALE

  If you can’t make it to a Secret Midnight Press event anytime soon, why not create a similar type of event at a welcoming place near you? It may be one of the kindest things you could do for yourself or for someone else.

  Singing, songwriting, and dancing are powerful forms of expression, so I’m thrilled Taylor highlighted how important expressing yourself can be and how we don’t need an invitation, a record deal, a publishing offer, etc., to share our experiences in the world. In whatever form you choose to do this in, we’re proud of you for bravely sharing your feelings with someone. If you don’t know where to start, check out Power Poetry, the world’s first and largest mobile poetry community for youth, and be sure to check out Channel Kindness to read more stories about expressing yourself kindly.

  18

  HELPING TRANS-GENDER YOUTH

  MARIA MONGIARDO

  From Boston, Massachusetts, Cameron Russo—who is in his early twenties—could write a textbook on courage, compassion, and kindness. With bravery and optimism, he shares an overview of a huge portion of his life in his YouTube video “My Female to Male Transgender Story”—which has been viewed close to seven hundred thousand times.

  Telling his full story wasn’t easy, but Cameron knew it was important for many reasons. For starters, he wanted to bring awareness from his personal experience as to what it means to be trans. Simply stated, transgender is a term for people whose gender identity, expression, and/or behavior is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth.

  Early in his journey, Cameron decided to chronicle aspects of his life through various social media outlets. He recalls, “I started using social media to document my photos and thoughts while I was transitioning.”

  When his content began to get some attention, he realized that, with this platform, the act of openi
ng up would allow him to educate and expose more people to who transgender individuals are. He knew that really putting himself out there with YouTube might draw unwanted attention, but he’d also never forgotten what it was like to go through all the stages of transition without guidance.

  Cameron acknowledges, “I was alone throughout my whole transition, hormones, and surgery, so having someone there, even over the Internet, is a huge help.” The opportunity to be kind, even if it meant telling difficult parts of his journey, was something he couldn’t ignore. He was strongly motivated to put his story out there in an even more public way for one major reason: “Because life’s too short, as cliché as that is. I spent so much time hating myself, and now I wish I could get those years back. I see so many people struggling, and I just want to help them.”

  In addition to regularly making videos on YouTube and offering advice to trans youth while talking, as he says, to both “pre-transitioned guys and those who are just starting out, to help them find more comfort,” Cameron now inspires countless members of the LGBTQ+ community.

  I was fortunate, as a youth reporter for Channel Kindness, to interview Cameron about his story so far. In his most widely viewed YouTube video, he goes back to a moment in 2006 when, at age nine, his parents were divorced and he moved to a new school—and began to feel a disconnect. As high school approached, a feeling of certainty developed about wanting to be a boy.

  CHANNEL KINDNESS: When did you know you were trans?

  CAMERON: I came out as trans when I was fourteen years old but discovered the term at age thirteen. Once I found out what it was, it just clicked.

  The transition from female to male was met with criticism and rejection, including what happened when Cameron’s mother listened to the statement, “I want to cut my hair and be a guy,” and then said, “I know you better than you know yourself, and you are a girl.” That had hurt a great deal because of the painful effort it had taken to come out in the first place. His stepfather was even more critical, blaming Cameron for the tension in the household—which led Cameron to multiple suicide attempts. Through the help of a therapist and Cameron’s own efforts—he worked nonstop to earn the money required for hormonal therapy and surgery—upon high school graduation, he successfully made his transition. He has an excellent relationship with his mom now and with his biological father, both of whom are very supportive and loving, though he remains estranged from his stepdad.

  After all of that, are his painful days behind him?

  CAMERON: I am a lot happier now. This time it is genuine happiness.

  CHANNEL KINDNESS: What advice do you have for other trans youth?

  CAMERON: Hang in there. Life may seem like it is at a standstill right now, and you feel like you are never going to get to where you want to be, but I promise you will get there. Be proud of who you are.

  CHANNEL KINDNESS: What got you into making YouTube videos?

  CAMERON: I started making videos on YouTube because, on Tumblr, a follower of mine asked me to do a question-and-answer, so I made a video and put it on YouTube. Once I started doing that, I started to really enjoy it, so I made more. I just got a new camera for my videos instead of having to use my Mac to record. My videos are on a lot of transgender-related topics, like top surgery and testosterone. I also make “story time” videos about random things that have happened in my life.

  CHANNEL KINDNESS: What do you hope people understand from reading about you and your story?

  CAMERON: For the first year of my transition, I was stealth outside of the Internet, meaning I was not open about being transgender. I always felt people would be weirded out by me, because I saw so many people bash on trans people online. When people read my story, I just want them to understand that just because I changed my gender does not make me crazy or “sick in the head” like I have been told. I was not happy, and I was on the road to ending my life, so I had to change what I knew was wrong. I want people to watch my videos and realize that things can get so much better once you put yourself first.

  CHANNEL KINDNESS: What has surprised you most about sharing your story?

  CAMERON: When I told my whole story from beginning to end in a video recently, that was the first time I ever spoke about it out loud. Just initially, it reached over four hundred thousand people and was briefly in a Diane Sawyer 20/20 special on ABC. The amount of people who messaged me after that video was mind-blowing. It was crazy to see how similar other people’s stories were—they were just too scared to be open about it. But because I was, they opened up to me.

  Cameron’s courage has earned him well-deserved applause from many in the LGBTQ+ community and from allies who may not be part of the community but want to help. Knowing that a disproportionately high percentage of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people have attempted suicide, Cameron hopes to encourage everyone to consider looking for ways to help and support the LGBTQ+ community. He recommends, “Every summer, there is a Pride parade in almost every state. It is really fun, and so many people go. Even if you do not fall in the L, G, B, T, or Q+, it is always better with more people. Educating others is so important. Since social media is so big nowadays, sharing videos is so easy, and it reaches a lot of people. A really simple way of being involved in the community is just by being kind.”

  I love Cameron’s wise advice and am so grateful to you, Maria, for sharing it. Life is too short to spend any time hating yourself, so if you’re lucky enough to be able to embrace yourself and who you are, we encourage you to share your story and help other people accept themselves as well. Thank you for your bravery, Cameron. We’re so glad you’re here. If you or someone you know needs more resources to support their transition journey, please visit Trans Lifeline, Human Rights Campaign, or the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.

  Cameron Russo is the definition of someone who has chosen to channel kindness, adding in equal parts courage and compassion, and I predict he will continue to grow in his role as a leader of a movement of inclusion, acceptance, and empowerment.

  19

  IT TAKES A WHILE TO Learn TO BE Human

  ISAIAH MORGAN

  When you become a channel for kindness, both for the giving and the receiving of it, you learn that you are never really alone as long as you’re able to take the first steps to ask for help … OR to offer it. At a community health center based in Southern Colorado, Josh—a peer specialist who works in the organization’s recovery solutions area—knows that truth well.

  For a long time the stigma associated with mental illness kept Josh from talking about his own struggles with anxiety and depression. That is until he suffered a breakdown on the job and desperately sought help. Josh remembers that the day it happened, when he first met a peer specialist, was the moment that saved his life.

  Not only was he given tools and resources to understand and cope with his own issues, but also, along the way, found his own calling to help others who struggle with mental illness.

  Peer specialists like Josh can be all the more effective because they’ve been on the receiving end of the help. After starting as someone who needed and used Health Solutions’ mental health services, it wasn’t long before Josh recognized that helping others in the same fashion was exactly the kind of career he wanted to pursue.

  At Recovery Solutions—which Josh calls “a place where people [with mental illness] can go to fit in”—he has gained a lot of expertise since 2016, when he first came on board as a peer specialist. However, just as important as the training and knowledge you can attain, he believes, is the life experience you offer. After all, as Josh points out, you can claim to fully understand mental illness, but you can’t really understand it unless you’ve lived it.

  Although he has never thought of himself as brave, by speaking openly and honestly about his mental health story Josh exemplifies true courage. And so without even knowing it, he seems to have mastered the art of bravery—a quality that allows others to feel safe in his presence.


  Even if it’s not easy to be public about his issues with anxiety and depression, he sees the positive impact that doing so has had on the community. He’s able to show that someone with mental illness, even with noticeable symptoms, can still have a steady job, car, and house. More than that, he wants to continue to show that it’s possible to be someone known to have had mental illness and still contribute to society and lead a fulfilling, happy life.

  When asked what convinced him to get treatment after his breakdown, Josh admits he was inspired by the example of strangers. Some were fictional characters accepting help within storylines from movies and television; others were famous actors who publicly worked through their own mental health challenges. There was tough-guy mob boss Tony Soprano on the HBO series The Sopranos—spoiler alert!—who dealt with debilitating panic attacks. These attacks landed him in therapy early in season one, and the sessions continued for the rest of the series. Josh also knew that Carrie Fisher (the late actress who depicted Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies) dealt openly with her bipolar disease. Media and culture clearly helped, in Josh’s view, to destigmatize mental illness and certainly prodded him to get needed help.

  For anyone reading this story who wants to channel kindness for someone suffering from mental illness, you could actually become the first point of outreach in their support system. Josh has identified what he considers to be the three most important phrases in the mental health field, and he has told himself these same phrases before.