by Nora Phoenix
“Palani doesn't see it as a sacrifice, I'm sure. I don’t.”
Vieno looked up at him from between his lashes, and he was so cute it made Lidon’s heart skip a beat. “You don’t?”
“I chose this, remember? You didn’t force me or coerce me. I married you willingly, and as a matter of fact, it was my idea to claim you.”
“I don’t understand why… I’m super grateful, but I still don’t understand why you agreed.”
“You can’t think of a reason?”
“Not a compelling one, no. You’re an alpha cop, you’re hot as fuck, so if you wanted to get married, you’d have omegas lining up out the door. Why me?”
Lidon wanted to be a bit more comfortable when they continued this conversation, but he wasn’t ready to let go of Vieno yet. “Wanna join me on the couch while we talk?”
Vieno nodded, then followed him to the living room. As soon as Lidon sat down, Vieno snuggled close to him. It was contradicting, this physical closeness despite the legitimate questions he was asking.
“I need to be close to you,” he apologized.
“It’s okay. I feel the same way. I’m reluctant to even break touch.”
Relief painted Vieno’s face as he put his head against Lidon’s biceps. “Same here.”
“Is that normal for you during your heat?”
“No. The day before I’m usually way too restless to sit still. It drove Palani nuts.”
And here they were again, back to the topic they couldn’t seem to stay away from. Maybe Vieno deserved a bit more of an explanation, insofar as Lidon even understood it himself.
“You asked me why I did it, why I agreed to marry you. I wasn’t planning on it when Enar approached me. Hell, I was gonna say no when he asked me to help you through your heat the first time.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You did. You were in bad shape, but still so gorgeous, so beautiful…and you were starting to undress Enar. My alpha didn’t like that. He wanted you for himself and that’s why I agreed.”
“I can understand that, you know. What alpha would say no when an omega in heat presents himself and you get a fuck-for-free card?”
Lidon frowned. “You make it sound…cheap.”
“Wasn’t it? It was simple biology, nothing else. Hormones and lots of ‘em and once we fucked them out of our system, we went our separate ways.”
That last sentence made Lidon sit up and pay attention. “Had you expected me to stay in touch?” he asked. “Or maybe hoped I would?”
Vieno avoided his gaze. “It would’ve been nice…” he mumbled. “To know that I was more than a hole for you to use…”
“You were so much more than that and you know it. We connected, even then.”
“Not enough for you to keep in contact. I wasn’t even sure if I could reach out to you again for my next heat.”
“Because you were Palani’s! I didn’t want to come between you two since you were his.”
Vieno shot up straight to look at Lidon, his mouth open. “Is that true?”
“It was already hell for him to ask for help, then have to watch another man take what was his. I wasn’t gonna make it even harder on him, on both of you, by trying to build on the connection we had. I’m not the type that breaks up couples just because I can, as an alpha.”
“It had nothing to do with me?”
“Was that what you concluded?”
Vieno nodded. “I figured I’d turned you off with my behavior…by being too…eager.”
“Oh, sweetheart, not at all. I was trying to respect your relationship. I liked you, hell, I still do. You’re…you’re gorgeous and sweet and I like that you have opinions and aren’t afraid to state them. Plus, the sex we had three months ago was seriously hot.”
“Is that why you married me, for the sex?” Vieno sighed. “No, of course it isn’t. Because you can get sex anywhere. Even seriously hot sex, as you called it.”
“Sweetheart, you don't understand. That sex…” Lidon stopped talking, horrified by what he was about to say. Did he want to open that can of worms?
“What?”
Yeah, he did. Because Vieno needed it and he’d promised him the brutal truth. “It was the best sex I ever experienced,” he said quietly.
Vieno’s eyes grew big. “But…but you were engaged, and you almost proposed to your other boyfriend. How…?”
Lidon rubbed his eyes, then decided he needed Vieno even closer for this particular conversation. He lifted him up and dragged him onto his lap, letting out a content sigh when Vieno relaxed against his chest. “Matteo and I were super young when we met. We were sexually active, but I was his first and we hadn’t figured out how to make it satisfying for us both. We never got that chance because he died. And Rodrick… I told you before, he didn’t like experimenting, or anything outside of the standard missionary stuff. In hindsight, I don't even understand why I considered marrying him. I guess because I figured it was time to start a family. I’m so glad it didn’t happen. It would have been a big mistake. There you have it, my sexual past… Nothing has been as good as the sex with you, Vieno. Nothing has even come close.”
Vieno nestled deeper against him. He put his hand on Lidon’s chest, reveling in his strong heartbeat under his hand. “I loved the sex with you,” he said softly. “You made me feel sated for the first time ever. When you knotted me that last time, it was… I can't even describe it. Almost magical sounds like a hyperbole, but it isn’t. I’ve never felt like that.”
“And you experience guilt toward Palani for feeling this way,” Lidon guessed.
Vieno studiously avoided his eyes. “It’s not his fault I need something he can’t give me.”
“It’s not your fault either, sweetheart.”
“You don’t know what I put him through…” Vieno’s voice was barely audible. “How I screamed at him, begged him to…do more. To fulfill me. And he couldn’t. Every heat we experienced together hurt us both a little more.”
Vieno’s voice broke at the last words and so did Lidon’s heart. He hadn’t fully appreciated what Palani had endured all those years. What had that done to his self-esteem, he wondered?
“If his presence helps you in any way, he is welcome to be here when your heat starts,” he said.
Vieno sat up, meeting his eyes. “Are you sure?”
Lidon saw a sparkle he hadn’t seen in days. How could he say no if his mate needed this? “Absolutely.”
22
Ever since Palani had shared his information about that McCain family and how he suspected they all had the Melloni gene, Enar had wanted to dig into this deeper. But the eight days since had been crazy with the wedding and everything, and he’d struggled to even fit all his urgent patients in.
Because of that, he’d also not seen Palani since they had sex five days ago. He wasn’t sure what had meant more to him, the sex or the talking afterward. Palani had only listened, but it had meant the world to Enar. He’d felt so safe, he’d fallen asleep in Palani’s arms at some point and when he woke up, Palani had left again.
They’d texted back and forth, slightly flirtatious but never crossing into serious stuff. Palani’s phone call about Vieno had been short and to the point as well. Enar appreciated that the beta hadn’t pressured him to divulge what he’d discussed with Vieno. He wouldn’t have, but he respected Palani for understanding that boundary.
But today was Saturday, and he’d known Palani was off, and so he’d told him he’d pick him up at nine to go visit the only person who could tell them more about the gene: Ricardo Melloni. The geneticist who had lent his name to the gene had been easily persuaded to meet them once Enar shared a little of Palani’s discoveries with him. He’d indicated he’d found some new information of his own, so it seemed well worth the two-hour ride. Enar considered the fact that he got to spend a whole day with Palani a pleasant bonus.
Palani was waiting outside when Enar pulled up at his apartment complex, and he got into
Enar’s car.
“Hi,” he said, dropping his messenger bag on the backseat.
“Hi,” Enar replied, then mentally slapped himself for his asinine answer.
“Coffee?” Palani asked, holding out a thermos and a cup.
“God, yes. Thank you.”
He waited till Palani had poured them both a cup before driving off, studying him in the meantime. Fuck, he looked as crappy as Vieno had. Was he suffering under their separation as well?
“I figured you could use the caffeine,” Palani said.
“I sure can, but how did you know I didn’t already grab some along the way?” He shot a quick glance sideways and caught Palani trying to hide a grin. “What?”
“Dude, you’re always running late. There was no way you would’ve had the time to stop for coffee. Plus, you tend to forget things like that.”
Enar let out an amused sigh. “You’re observant.”
“So are you, just in different areas.”
“True. For instance, I seem to notice you lost some weight…and you’re paler than I like. Are you having trouble sleeping?”
This time, the look on Palani’s face wasn’t so amused. “You’re not my doctor.”
“No, but I am your friend, who also happens to be a doctor. And I’m telling you that I don’t like how you look right now. What’s going on?”
Palani was quiet for a bit, but Enar could wait. For an alpha, he had an uncharacteristic amount of patience.
“I need to eat better. It’s harder when you’re on your own.”
There was a world of hurt in that simple statement and Enar had no trouble recognizing it, not after Vieno’s heartbreaking admission. “You miss Vieno?” he asked softly.
Again, it took a while for Palani to answer, but when he did, his voice broke. “So damn much.”
“I can imagine,” Enar said.
“We’ve been together for so long, you know? And I’m happy for him that he’s safe and taken care of, and I like Lidon and I think he’s doing an amazing job, but I miss Vieno. It’s like a part of me has been ripped off and it won’t heal. Like, it physically hurts...”
Enar frowned. What Palani described went way beyond what he’d expected to hear. “When you say it physically hurts, where do you feel that?”
“My heart. I always thought heartbreak was an emotional thing, but at night, when I’m in bed, there are these stabs in my heart because Vieno’s not close and I feel those, like in actual pain. And I’m not hungry at all, because of this slight queasiness in my body. It’s all in my mind, but it’s fucked up.”
What he described sounded exactly like what Vieno was going through. Emotional stress could manifest itself in the body, so the loss of appetite could be a prime example as well as the lack of sleep. But something didn’t add up, though Enar couldn’t put his finger on it.
“How long has it been since you’ve talked to Vieno?” he asked.
“We talk daily,” Palani said, his voice miserable. “But I haven’t seen him since the wedding.”
Enar sure hoped that Lidon wouldn’t change his mind, because there was no easy way to walk back this invitation. “Lidon has asked me to be present during Vieno’s heat to keep an eye on things. If you want to, you can come.”
Palani’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? Lidon is okay with that?”
“Yeah, he called me last night, asked me to tell you today since he knew we were spending the day together. Vieno wants you there…if you want it.”
“Yes.” The answer came fast, without any doubt. “If he wants me there and Lidon is fine with it, I’ll be there.”
Enar put his hand on Palani’s knee. “You do realize it means you’ll have to watch once again as Lidon fucks him, right? I hate to be blunt and I’m not saying this to hurt you, but I want you to be aware of what you’re saying yes to.”
Much to his surprise, Palani covered Enar’s hand with his own. “I’m not saying it’s not gonna suck, because it will, but I can take it. I’ll do whatever Vieno needs. That’s all that matters to me.”
The man was a saint, Enar thought not for the first time. His devotion to Vieno really was something else. He was way more than a mere best friend or even a lover. In fact, he showed the same care toward Vieno as…
Oh, fuck.
A realization hit him that left him almost gasping. Was that even possible? It was in the old days of the wolf-shifters, right? He’d have to ask Melloni, as the man was an expert on this and had studied it before discovering the Melloni gene. But he’d have to find a way to not share too much with Palani, because he was smart as a whip and would figure it out in no time. But holy fuck, if what he suspected was true, it meant that…
Oh, fuck, all over again.
If he was right about this, it meant Enar would lose Palani as well. He pushed down the slight panic this brought. No, this was not the time to be selfish. He’d find out and then he’d test his theory. With Palani showing up at Vieno’s heat, this would be easy enough to test.
“Enar?” Palani asked, looking at him strangely.
“Sorry, lost in thought. Yeah, okay. I’ll text Lidon later to let him know you’re coming, okay? Now, let’s discuss what we want to ask Melloni.”
The rest of the drive, Palani shared more details about what he’d discovered in his investigation so far and managed to take Enar’s mind off his discovery. Enar was impressed with what the beta had found out already, as well as his analytical skills in organizing the information. He had a talent for separating important facts from details, but also for connecting details to lead to a pattern.
“You excel at this,” he complimented Palani.
“Thank you. I love investigative shit like this. It’s like a puzzle, trying to find where each piece goes.”
Enar hmm’d in agreement. “I feel we’re still missing some crucial pieces, though. Corner pieces. Let’s hope Melloni can help us with that.”
Ricardo Melloni turned out to be a grey-haired, thin man in his early sixties and—much to their surprise—a beta. He had to have fought one hell of an uphill battle to get this far in his field amongst mostly alphas, Enar thought.
After introductions and more coffee, they got down to business.
“The gene,” Melloni said. “You said you had discovered information about the gene.”
Enar looked at Palani and nodded. When he turned his head back, he caught a surprised expression from Melloni. “It’s not often an alpha defers to a beta,” the scientist explained.
“He’s the one who got this whole ball rolling,” Enar said. “Plus, he’s discovered some pretty interesting things you should hear.”
He listened as Palani laid out what he’d discovered about the McCain family in rich, but clear details. Melloni listened without interrupting him, his eyes widening at times.
When Palani was done, Melloni leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “This confirms some of what I’ve discovered, but it adds new dimensions as well. I’ll need time to analyze how it fits together, but this is incredibly valuable information. The fact that one family has so many carriers of the gene is especially interesting. We’ve seen omega siblings with the gene, but not cousins. This suggests it’s hereditary, which makes little sense considering how new this gene mutation is.”
“What have you learned about the gene, other than what you published in your most recent scientific journal articles?” Enar asked. “I’ve read those and have explained them as best as I could to Palani, considering I’m not a geneticist and he’s not a doctor.”
“He’s smart, though,” Melloni said, then turned to Palani. “You are. I doubt many people would have discovered the common element in these suicides other than that they’re from the same family.”
Palani shared a quick look with Enar, then sighed. “It’s because my best friend has the gene, so I recognized some of the symptoms they described.”
He gave Melloni a quick rundown of what had happened to Vieno.
“I’m sorry about your friend, Palani. Sadly, stories like his are all too common. But you asked about my recent discoveries… At first, my theory was that this mutation was connected to the loss of our ability to shift. Something happened to our DNA that made our shifting abilities weaker and weaker, until they were gone. My theory was that that same process had affected certain male omegas in another way, causing that mutation. After all, we do know that male omegas are becoming less and less fertile.”
Palani raised his eyebrows. “I knew they were less fertile than women, but I didn’t know it was a decline over time.”
“Oh, yes. Very much so. In fact, statistics suggest that fifty years ago, fertility was about the same between male and female omegas. For some reason, it’s been going down ever since and we were at a record low about twenty-five years ago.”
“It’s been stabilized ever since?” Enar asked.
“Yes, more or less,” Melloni answered. “There are some variations, but it seems the tide has at least been stopped.”
“But you no longer think the gene mutation is caused by a natural process?” Palani asked.
“No. The primary reason is because it’s too abrupt. We had incidents of teens not being able to shift for years before it slowly became more common…and then it became the norm and those who could still shift were the exceptions. With this mutation, there’s a whole lotta nothing, and then all of a sudden we have multiple cases. Ten years may seem like a long time for a mutation like this to grow, but it’s not. It’s super fast, and that’s what made me believe this is not a natural process.”
Enar leaned forward. “You’re saying this was deliberate? Human intervention of some sort?”
“Human intervention, yes. But I can’t say with certainty they meant to cause this mutation. Most likely, it was an attempt to fix something else, and this was the unintended byproduct.”
“With what you have learned so far, are there any leads or developments toward a cure?” Enar asked.
Melloni exhaled. “A cure? No. Amelioration? Yes. As I wrote in one of my last articles, alpha hormones and proteins seem to positively influence the symptoms, so knotting without a condom is beneficial. But even the continuous close presence of an alpha partner—not necessarily a mate, but someone with whom the omega has sexual relations—has shown to be effective.”