Baron, a Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance Series

by HP Mallory

  It takes me a second or two to realize he’s making a joke and I’m so surprised, I don’t even laugh. It’s unlike Pyre, or what I know about him thus far, to move into humorous territory. From what I’ve witnessed, he’s the serious type.

  I like this side of him, though. Even if I’m at the center of his joke.

  “I did it,” I say, my voice sounding as surprised and exhausted as I feel.

  But, as the dawning realization that I’ve actually healed Pyre travels through me, excitement replaces the headache and the fatigue. Without realizing what I’m doing, I throw myself into his arms. “I did it!”

  Pyre stiffens, but pats me on the back, as though he’s unsure how to deal with me. I pull away from him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable but it appears it’s too late. He nods his head in approval and stands up. Then he begins walking away without saying a word. I realize I’m about to be left alone in the forest but when I take off after him, he’s nowhere to be seen. It’s as though he just disappeared and I’m now surrounded by a forest of dark trees and I have no idea where to go or how to get back.

  ELEVEN

  Eilish

  The Veil

  Panic starts winding its way through my gut and I take a few steps in one direction, but then I start to fear it’s the wrong way. I turn around and notice I’m in the center of the immense forest.

  “Pyre!” I call out, both baffled and angry that he would just leave me out here, all alone.

  Unless this is another test? I think to myself.

  I don’t care if it’s a test! I’m exhausted after everything he just put me through. This isn’t fair! Now isn’t the time to further test me!

  “Pyre, please!” I yell out and all I get for my efforts is my voice echoing back at me. “Please don’t leave me out here! I don’t know how to get back!”

  “Who are you yelling at?”

  At the sound of a deep voice, I whip around and find Dragan standing in front of me. He towers above me and doesn’t appear overly pleased to be here.

  “Oh, I was…” I start as I glance around myself and realize I’m no longer in a forest. In fact, I’m standing in front of a cabin—Pyre’s cabin. I twirl around again, doubting my eyes. But, no, I’m no longer lost in the trees.

  “Are you okay?” Dragan asks.

  “Yes,” I reply a bit too quickly.

  “Pyre sent me to train you on swordplay,” he continues. “He said you were finished with your lesson on healing.”

  “Right,” I say, but my mind is elsewhere—namely how on earth I found my way back here.

  “Eilish,” Dragan says and grips my attention.

  I face him and it’s as though I’m seeing him for the first time. “You cut your hair,” I say as I take in the new him. “And you shaved.”

  “Yeah, I did it last night. Thanks for noticing.”

  I swallow hard. I hadn’t noticed. “It was dark in our room,” I say, looking for an excuse. He doesn’t believe it though—the expression of doubt plaguing his face.

  “Anyway,” he starts. “Are you ready to train?”

  “Yes,” I answer and then clear my throat. “By the way, your new look suits you,” I say, wanting to make up for the fact that I didn’t notice last night. “You can see more of your face.”

  “Thanks,” he says and appears utterly uncomfortable.

  The gorgeous gargoyle then takes a few steps closer to me and shoves a dagger in my hand. “We’ll start with a few basics. I’ve seen you fight, and you aren’t too bad, but there’s still a lot you don’t know. Like how not to get killed.”

  “Ha. Ha,” I say, even as I appreciate his attempt at humor. It makes the discomfort between us a little less… uncomfortable.

  “Alright, hands up,” he demands.

  I do as he says, and he rolls his shoulders and hops back and forth from one foot to the other. I watch the way he moves, the way he directs my actions with a firm command he expects me to obey. If my steps falter, he growls and moves my limbs to the location in which they’re supposed to be.

  Sweat pours down my face as I breathe heavily. My heart is pounding, and every time Dragan touches me, my breath hitches. Out of all of them, I still feel the closest to him, regardless of the strained relationship between us now. It was Dragan who first championed me, and it was Dragan who first showed me any semblance of kindness. He was the first one who believed in me and saw what I was capable of.

  Maybe that’s why it burned so badly when he changed his mind about me. To be so high and then fall so low…

  The door opens and Noni runs out with a canteen of water.

  “Supper ready,” she says to Dragan. He gives her a feral sneer that I suspect was intended to be a smile. Dragan is sometimes more like a wild animal than a civilized person. It’s probably one of the traits of his I find the most intoxicating.

  He is gargoyle—he’s a shadow creature and he’s uncouth at times. He’s not like the others at all and never has been. He’s wild and I don’t imagine that feral part of him will ever change. I hope it doesn’t anyway.

  Noni seems to understand he’s trying to smile, even though he appears as intimidating as hell itself. Regardless, she smiles in return. The big gargoyle’s eyes soften as he watches the brownie scurry back into the cottage.

  “Can we trade Flumph for Noni?” he asks as he turns to face me with a smile and catches me completely off guard. When he forgets himself and smiles, he’s just so… beautiful.

  I’m reminded of the vision I had of him when he’d just been crowned the King of Shadow. It was a time before Variant usurped the throne for himself and before he killed Baron. It was a time when the four of them ruled together and the realms prospered. And now, I remember the way Dragan smiled as he looked over the audience of his people. He was so proud and there was so much love and hope in his eyes.

  “You should smile more often,” I say in a soft voice, once he catches me staring at him and I feel embarrassed.

  “Give me something to smile about,” he answers, and the frown that takes over his face is deeper than I’ve ever seen it before.

  He turns around and hulks back into the cabin, leaving me to myself. I just stand there, doing nothing, thinking nothing, and feeling nothing. I feel bereft, even though I can’t explain why. It was just a smile but as soon as it disappeared, I felt as though I’d lost something truly valuable. Without realizing it, Dragan gave me something, just to snatch it away again. I feel left with nothing, deprived. It takes me a few moments to regain my composure.

  Dragan affects me in ways no one else ever has and he’s entirely oblivious to it.

  ###

  Flumph

  Accordin’ ta Noni, Pretty did kinda good out there, fightin’ the gargoyle dickhead, an’ whats not. Or at least he ain’t killed her, soze that’s somethin’.

  She takin’ ferever in the bath, though, so I just goes in there and sits on the stool ta keep her company. Ain’t like I haven’t seen her nekked before. It don’t faze me none, not with me bein’ asexual an’ all.

  She hums real nice as she wash up. “What’s you smilin’ for?”

  “Today was... not a bad day.”

  “You seem kinda happy for someone who jist had her an okay day.”

  She sigh. “I like it here—in Pyre’s Veil, I guess.”

  “Why?”

  She shrug. “I just like waking up and not having to reach for a weapon. I feel safe here. If it weren’t for us having to save the Midnight Queen, I wouldn’t mind staying.”

  I eye her real knowin’ like. “That ain’t gots nothin’ to do with you an’ Mask makin’ goo-goo eyes at each other, do it? ‘Cause I don’t think you can do much to help him. He too far gone.” I flys over to the tub an’ poke at the water, watchin’ the bubbles pop.

  “No. This has nothing to do with Pyre. I just feel like the Veil is… it’s just a nice place to be and I wish we… I wish we didn’t have to leave so soon.”

  “That say somethi
n’ if yer comforted by death, Pretty. Death ain’t nothin’ good neither.”

  She close her eyes an’ I helps her wash her long-ass hair. Not ‘cause I’m her slave or nothin’, but jist ‘cause I wanna. Pretty is my friend. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with helpin’ friends, right?

  After awhiles, I leave Pretty to her own self, ‘cause she seem lost in her thoughts anyway and weren’t talkin’ much. Soze I walk back into our community room an’ what do I find? Noni pickin’ through my stuff. Or least it look like that be what she doin’.

  “What you think yer doin’?! Snoopin’ through my stuffs like a little thief!”

  Her little squeak an’ smile don’t make me feel bad ‘bout scarin’ her neither, as I yank her outta my shit.

  “Noni not snoop,” she say in a real dignified way—like she angry I be accusin’ her o’ snoopin’ which be exactly what she doin’.

  “If you ain’t snoopin’, what are ya doin’?” I demand.

  “Noni fix.”

  “What?!”

  The fuckin’ brownie lift up a bag with my name stitched on it all wonky-like. It say Mr. Fluff in scraggly little letters that look more like a vulture flew by an’ happened ta shit white diarrhea all over my knapsack.

  “Noni fix you bag, Mr. Flumph. No snoop.”

  “Ya spelled my fuckin’ name wrong!” I say real pissed-off like. “I ain’t Mr. Fluff!”

  Noni hold the bag up an’ inspect it, like she ain’t sure what I be talkin’ abouts. “M. R. F.,” she start callin’ out the letters real slow like.

  “It’s Flumph! F. L. U. M. P. H.! It ain’t Fluff!”

  She nod her head real fast. “Noni fix it.”

  I reach over an’ grab that knapsack right out her hand. “You already done enough!”

  Then that fuckin’ elf walk over an’ kicks me right in my big ass an’ I fall over.

  Dick.

  “Be nice or else,” he says.

  “You be nice!” I rail back at him whiles I rub my sore ass cheek. “Prick!”

  I cross my arms an’ sit on the floor, feelin’ all sorry fer myself and my achin’ butt. I can tell that stupid brownie’s lookin’ at me with them creepy ass eyes o’ hers. I look up an’ sure enough, she be starin’ at me. Can’t no one get no privacy ‘round heres?

  I look away from that butt-ugly brownie who can’t spell worth shit. She don’t leave me alone, though. Instead, she put her face right next to mine, not makin’ a sound, but scarin’ the livin’ fuck outta me. “Go away!”

  “I bring you present,” she say in that weird voice.

  Usually I like presents an’ if I had a tail, it might start semi-waggin’ at her pronouncement that she got one for me. But I ain’t got no tail. An’ after that vulture diarrhea shit she already gaves me, I ain’t sure I wanna know what else she got for me. “What is it?”

  “Mr. Flumph like Noni present,” she say an’ she nod her little head an’ I roll my eyes. Then she reach behind her back an’ hands me a weird lookin’ crossbow made o’ wood an’ a funky thing with bolts in it.

  “What the fuck’s this?” I ask.

  Noni nod like she super excited to tell me. “For when Mr. Flumph go to the naughty king’s castle,” she say, makin’ me mad ‘cause she ain’t explained what the fuck the thing do.

  “What the fuck this thing do?”

  She nod again. “This make guards go to sleep.”

  I look down at it an’ ain’t sure what the hells ta do with it.

  “What good it gonna do me? I can’t fuckin’ use it!”

  “Noni teach Mr. Flumph.”

  “Mr. Flumph ain’t wantin’ Noni ta teach him nothin’!” I shout an’ then realize I just called myself Mr. Flumph. Fuck.

  “Flumph!” King Elf Cock shout at me. “Stop being a little shithead!”

  I stick my tongue out at him, but he give me a look that make me nearly piss myself, soze I pulls my tongue back in my mouth.

  “Let Noni show you how to use the crekacklemon,” the brownie say.

  I look at her like she done ripped the nastiest fart ever. “What the hells you jist call it?”

  “Crekacklemon.”

  “That’s what I thought you said.”

  “This be for Mr. Flumph to make himself useful in this mission.”

  “Listen to the brownie, Mr. Flumph,” Elf Boy say with a laugh. “Make yourself useful.”

  “Watch me makin’ myself useful while I take my fist an’ shove it right,” I start, glarin’ at the big jerkface.

  “Either make yourself useful or we’ll take Noni with us instead,” he say as he lean back on his cot and cross one ankle over the other like he ready ta take hisself a ripe little nap.

  “FUCK THAT!” I yell at him while I fly up into the air ‘cause I’m that pissed off. “I’m part o’ this group, not her!”

  “Then prove it. Stop thinking about yourself all the time,” the elf say with a smile as he close his eyes and prop his hands on his chest with his fingers all steepled together. He ain’t gonna sleep, ‘cause elves ain’t much for sleepin’, but he look like it alls the same.

  “If I don’t think ‘bout me then no one else will,” I grumble ‘cause it be the truth. I’m the only one lookin’ out fer Mr. Flumph. ‘Cept maybe Pretty, but she got her own shit ta constantly think ‘bout.

  “Noni think about you, Mr. Flumph.”

  “Oh! Shut up you!”

  I stomps away only for that fuckin’ brownie to follow me with that dumb crossbow lookin’ thing that I still ain’t right sure how to pronounce.

  She start pretendin’ ta shoot stuff with that weird-ass contraption an’ she make these little sounds of pretend explosions while I crawl up onto the window seat an’ look out at the darkness outside.

  I look back at the stupid brownie an’ she runnin’ around pretendin’ like she be some big hero fightin’ all these warlords. I ain’t up here watchin’ her, though, that’s for sure... least not at first. But, after I see her havin’ all sorts o’ fun pretendin’ ta shoot that fuckin’ thing, I start feelin’ jealous-like.

  I crawl down from my window an’ I tells her ta show me how to shoot the fuckin’ thing. I do it ‘cause I wanna know an’ not ‘cause I wanna be useful on our mission, whenever it come.

  Noni spend like ten minutes or so showin’ me where to hold the thing an’ how Ize supposed ta shoot it.

  By the time we done, I feels like I know this thing likes the back o’ my hand. An’ I gotta admit, I do like it—jist a little bit. It weird lookin’ all right, but if it shoots people an’ it knock ‘em out, that be a pretty good little weapon ta have, far’s I’m concerned.

  “What you call this thing again?” I ask.

  Noni smile an’ her freckles ain’t as ugly as they was before. “Crekacklemon.”

  I’m thinkin’ maybe she should get that vulture back here ta shit the word out on the back o’ the fuckin’ thing soze I ain’t forget it agin.

  ###

  Cambion

  The Veil

  The rift between The Veil and The Forest in the Sky opens, and we step into the dreary woodland once again. We are quiet and I think it’s safe to say our hearts are burdened as who knows where this mission will lead us. Hopefully, we will free the Midnight Queen and buy ourselves enough time to regroup and plan an attack against Variant. First, of course, we require recruits, but I believe the first step in acquiring those recruits is freeing Morrigan.

  Pyre hands us weapons and seeps back into the dark swirl of magic before the portal closes. Dragan wears a belt full of blades as well as a sizable sword strapped to his back. He wears Pyre’s clothing, which amazingly enough appears a bit too large for the gargantuan gargoyle. Quite surprising there’s a man larger than him. Regardless, as Pyre is quite fond of the color black, Dragan was in luck as he can continue to don the dourest of ensembles.

  Baron, whose health is now fully restored, wears a satchel of poisons around his waist, poisons from Pyre’s apothecary. Also strapped
to his leather belt is an assortment of wicked looking daggers. Beneath the belt, he wears trousers of deep blue leather and a cotton tunic in black.

  Eilish was given back her enchanted blade and she wears it strapped to one of her thighs. With regard to our change of clothing, I must admit I appreciate Eilish’s the most. Her shapely rear is fitted with leather breeches in light tan and as she walks, the leather rustles where her thighs rub together. I find the sound and the sight of her, as she moves ahead of me, to be quite… enticing. Her large breasts are barely restrained by a white chemise that shows through her cream, cotton tunic. Over the tunic, she wears a brown leather corset that makes her small waist appear even smaller. Above the corset is a long, brown leather duster that hides the peaks of her nipples that show through the tunic when she turns or bends over.

  Bloody hell, it’s murderous to be around this woman. It doesn’t help that it’s been far too long since I’ve fucked a woman. But I digress.

  As to my own clothing—it is quite perfunctory and lacking any of the pomp I’m accustomed to. In place of my velvet trousers, I now find myself clad in lackluster breeches, in a material unknown to me. The color is charcoal gray. On top, I too wear a white, cotton tunic, but mine is tucked into my waist, where the others brandish theirs above their breeches. They really are plebeians, and quite vulgar ones at that. But, alas, as my lot has been thrown into their hands, what can I do?

  Even Flumph was gifted a tiny crossbow and a quiver of sleep bolts. I can’t recall the name of the strange looking weapon but I’m quite certain the title was foreign.

  The irritating sprite will not detain from his nonstop idiotic narrative. He’s working on my nerves to such an extent, I feel like stealing one of his sleep bolts and using it on him.

  “Now I can put you fuckers ta sleep if you piss me off!” Flumph snickers.

  Everyone grumbles and rolls their eyes as I attempt to navigate our way out of the forest. Baron tests his tolerance for the sun, and I see a ghost of a smile on his lips as he’s successful. Clearly, Pyre’s mark does have its advantages.