by Laura Carter
‘Wow, Soph, we were—’
Sofia cut Seth off with a scowl. ‘This isn’t your business. It’s between her and me.’
‘Sofia, calm down,’ Andrea said. ‘I came here to talk to you. I wanted to tell you about Jay.’
‘So it’s true?’ Sofia yelled, face-to-face with her sister. ‘How could you? How could you try to take over the label? Wasn’t it enough that you left us? Why, Andi? Why try to take this from me?’
Andrea held up her hands. ‘Please, let’s just go inside and you can hear me out. I don’t know what Jay told you but let me explain, please.’
‘Jay told me the truth!’ Sofia dragged her hands roughly across her face. ‘God, you’ve always resented me, haven’t you? Mom died and you had to take care of me and you hate me for it.’
Now it was Andrea’s turn to get mad. ‘I could never hate you, Sofia,’ she said through gritted teeth. ‘Everything I have ever done has always been with your best interests at heart. That I swear to you.’
‘Bullshit! Did you leave Sanfia for XM for my benefit?’
Andrea felt her nostrils flare as she inhaled, straightening her back, becoming taller on instinct. Her voice rose as she spoke. ‘Yes, I goddamn did. I knew you were never over that. I left Sanfia because I couldn’t stand that ass of a husband you chose for yourself and if I had stayed, you would have chosen him over me when it came down to it. I gave you a chance to keep both of us.’
‘That is such crap! You left because you thought you were better than Sanfia. And now, you realise that I could manage just fine without you and you want to steal the label from under my nose.’
‘Grow up, Sofia. I told Jay I would buy him out on the condition he filed for a divorce.’
‘You did what?’
Andrea scoffed. ‘Right, so he left out that part, huh? I tried to let you sort things out for yourself but he was dragging you down and you were the only person who couldn’t see it! You would never have told him to go, so I did it for you.’
Sofia lunged for Andrea but she was grabbed around the waist by Billy, struggling against him as she shouted, ‘You need to leave, right now!’
Andrea shook her head. Like every time Sofia took a tantrum, she needed a day to take the edge off her stubbornness. It had been a near constant battle for Andrea when they were younger and some things never changed. ‘When you’ve come to your senses, let me know, Soph. We can have an adult conversation.’
Sofia visibly fumed, inhaling and exhaling fast and deep, as Billy held her by the waist. ‘I never want to speak to you again, Andi. Ever.’
The words tore through Andrea’s chest and pierced her heart but she would not let that show. As the two women stared at one another, as if they were strangers at war, the space around them fell silent. Until the click of heels against the sidewalk came quicker and louder.
24
Rosalie
Rosalie reached them, hands on her hips and scoffed, staring at Sofia. ‘So, I guess you did know all along.’
Sofia, who was clearly fizzing with anger, now also played at looking confused. ‘You guess I did know what?’
Rosalie pointed to Andrea. ‘That she has been screwing my dad.’
Sofia recoiled. ‘What are you talking about?’ She looked from Rosalie to her sister. ‘Andi?’
Andrea was motionless but for the movement in her neck as she swallowed deeply. ‘Ros, can we go somewhere and talk, please? Let me explain.’
‘Explain?’ Rosalie yelled. ‘Are you going to tell me you weren’t having an affair with my dad?’
‘No,’ Andrea said.
Just like that. Just that simple. Wasn’t everything just so simple to precious Andrea. As Rosalie’s chest began to heave, Sofia appeared to process what was being said.
‘Yes,’ Rosalie told her, her hands firmly planted on her hips. ‘Your sister has been sleeping with her so-called-friend’s dad.’
‘What the fuck, Andi?’ Sofia shot out. ‘Is this some kind of joke? Hunter? You’ve been… How could you do that?’
Then something came over Rosalie. Something she had never truly felt. It gripped her with the force of a superhuman and wouldn’t let go. As Rosalie launched herself at Andrea, Seth grabbed hold of her, but not before her hand connected with Andrea’s cheek.
Andrea raised a hand to her cheek but didn’t retaliate. What Rosalie saw in her expression was shame and remorse. But it couldn’t change the facts and it couldn’t stop the uncontrollable rage that had swept Rosalie up.
‘Rosalie, I’m more sorry than you could ever imagine,’ Andrea said. ‘It was wrong. Terrible. Believe me, I hate myself for it.’
‘You should hate yourself!’ Rosalie yelled the words that were so desperately unlike her and ended in sobs. The force that gripped her had been replaced by the arms of Seth and as she watched Andrea’s eyes fill with tears, a small part of her wanted to go to her friend and wrap her arms around her.
But the biggest part of her felt disgust.
‘You’ve betrayed me,’ Sofia snarled, ‘and you’ve lied to everyone. When did you become so hateful, Andi?’
‘Sofia, please,’ Andrea pleaded.
‘No!’ Sofia snapped. ‘Look at her!’
Rosalie felt, rather than saw, all eyes fall on her as she turned into Seth’s chest, letting him hold her as she cried. Because there was no one else whose arms she wanted to fall into. And she had no other options even if she did. She had lost her best friends. Her only true friends. And the image of her parents she had always believed in had been shattered. She gripped Seth’s T-shirt as he stroked her back, whispering soothing words into her hair.
‘You need to go,’ Sofia said. ‘And, Andrea, I never want to see you again.’
Andrea’s usual stone-faced expression was replaced by a sob. Covering her face, she turned and walked away.
‘Do you have your car here?’ Seth asked.
Rosalie pulled back from his chest and looked up to him. She must look horrendous, she realised, but she remembered Nashville, how Seth thought she was beautiful with no make-up on, crazy hair and ill-fitting clothes. But perhaps her mascara-stained cheeks were a bridge too far.
Yet, Seth wasn’t looking at her like he was judging her, he was looking at her like someone who understood the heartbreak of cheating. And in that moment, as he held her face in his palms and wiped away her tears with his thumbs, she had more in common with Seth than ever before.
‘Why don’t you let me drive you home?’ he asked.
Rosalie could only nod.
‘Ros,’ Sofia said, approaching her side. ‘I know you must feel like everyone was in on something except you, but it isn’t true. I swear on my li—’
‘Don’t do that,’ Rosalie said, cutting her off. ‘Don’t ever swear on your life.’
Sofia nodded. ‘I didn’t know. None of us guys knew, okay?’
Sniffing, Rosalie turned to face Sofia. ‘I believe you but if you weren’t arguing with Andi about the affair, what were you fighting about when I turned up here?’
Sofia inhaled, looking as sad as Rosalie had ever seen her. ‘Maybe that’s a story for another time. Suffice to say, I just lost my husband and my sister in one day.’
‘Oh, Soph, I’m sorry,’ Rosalie said.
Sofia tried to smile but the corners of her mouth barely moved. ‘Let Seth take you home and if you need a friend you can call me or come to see me anytime. In fact, I’d like that, okay?’
‘Okay.’
* * *
‘Come in,’ Rosalie said, holding open the door to the brightness of her park view apartment.
Placing her purse on the sideboard and swapping her heels for the spa slippers she kept by the entrance, Rosalie glanced up to Seth, watching him scrutinise her home. For some reason, she cared what he thought of her favourite interior project to date.
‘You can leave your boots on if you like, or I have guest slippers in the velour seat there.’
As if he had just remembered R
osalie was in the room, Seth looked to her, then to the small blue seat that was hidden storage by the door. He slipped off his loosely tied scruffy boots and popped his feet into a pair of spa slippers that were a match for Rosalie’s.
Phew, she thought, not wanting her recently revarnished hardwood floor to be at risk of damage.
‘Would you like a drink? Tea? Coffee? Something cold? I have fresh juices or champagne. I’m afraid I don’t stock beer.’
Seth offered her the half-smile she now considered deadly, making her knees wobbly. It reminded her of Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, when he finally sees Elizabeth and her ‘fine eyes’. Mr Seth Young’s smile was also quite fine on further acquaintance.
‘Coffee would be good, thanks. Would you like me to make it? You’ve had a pretty rough day already.’
For the first time in days, Rosalie smiled. ‘You have no idea how particular I am about my coffee.’
And when Seth told her, ‘Oh, I can imagine, Ros, believe me,’ Rosalie chuckled for the first time in days too.
‘I’ll make coffee. Feel free to look around. Make yourself at home. I usually take coffee in the window, overlooking the park. Oh, and put some music on if you like. I’m not sure we’ll have the same taste, I mostly have soundtracks and jazz but there’s some country in the collection too.’
Seth nodded and she watched him move about her home before she remembered she was supposed to be making drinks.
‘Ah, a compromise,’ Rosalie said, coming into her lounge with a bronze tray set with coffee and its components. ‘I love the Walk the Line soundtrack. I generally prefer instrumentals but who doesn’t love Reese Witherspoon and Jaoquin Phoenix as June Carter and Johnny Cash?’
She set down the tray in her window table where Seth had obligingly taken a seat, overlooking Central Park. ‘You know, Joaquin gets some bad press but he’s actually a very nice man.’
Seth gave a short laugh. ‘Why am I not surprised that you know Joaquin Phoenix, Ros?’
She wasn’t entirely sure of his point but as she took a seat, she told him, ‘I know a lot of people from the music industry. As it happens, when he and Reese were recording the soundtrack to Walk the Line, that’s when I met him. He’s just a person, Seth, just like you and me. Just like Randy is your brother first and a rock star second. And in a few months’ time, when young girls are screaming your name and throwing their panties at you on stage, you’ll tell me you still just feel like Seth. The guy who lost a bet one night and ended up on the stage of an open mic night, where Sofia found you. You’ll tell me you’re just a soldier, a son, a brother…’ she handed him a full cup of coffee on a saucer… ‘and a friend, first.’
As he met her gaze, his fingers resting gently against hers as he took the saucer from her, Rosalie said, ‘Thank you. For today. And for things you said to me in Nashville. You probably didn’t realise at the time but you’ve given me a few things to think about, maybe just at the right time, too, as things have worked out.’
In typical Seth fashion, he silently sipped his coffee and they sat in what felt like companiable silence for minutes. It was odd to Rosalie and she found herself wondering when she ever simply shared silence with anyone. Suddenly, birds were singing outside. The trees of the park seemed greener. She could hear car horns tooting as far away as 59th and Fifth. And she could feel Seth’s presence next to her. How nice it was to have someone sharing her home.
‘I’m sorry about your dad and Andrea, Rosalie,’ Seth said, taking it upon himself to top up his own coffee and Rosalie’s. ‘I know what it’s like to have the image of a parent shattered, no matter whether you’re young or older.’
Rosalie tried to smile but she knew it was sheathed in weariness. ‘Thank you for saying that. I think people probably think it’s just typical Rosalie, over the top and as dramatic as ever, but it’s not just my dad, it’s Andi.’ Her eyes began to feel heavy and clouded over.
She thought about Hannah and Andrea and how much she already missed them, no matter how mad she was with them. ‘I have other friends, women I grew up with. Kaitlin, Clarissa, Madeleine. But they aren’t like Hannah and Andrea. Recently, I’ve realised the sad truth that they aren’t my real friends at all. They’re part of a fake life that I couldn’t let go.
‘I challenged Daddy about his affair with Andrea and found out some other things about my parents in the process. Things I’ve just… overlooked, somehow. And it made me see that I’ve been striving for something false for a very long time. My ideals and values have been based on a lie.’
She turned the cup on her saucer with her fingertips.
‘Would you like to talk about it?’ Seth asked.
Rosalie smiled because it was such a small offer but one that she hadn’t received since everything with Andrea blew up. She realised that that was what she had really been missing – someone to talk to. Someone to spend her days and lonely nights with. The concern in Seth’s expression told her without doubt that his question was genuine.
‘I would really like that, thank you. But not today. Today, I only want to say that you were also right when you said I need to figure out what I really want from life, for me. Whether I really do want a baby or just something or someone meaningful in my life to… love. Whether a music label is truly the right thing for me. Or, you know, words to that effect.’
He chuckled. It was a warm and lovely sound. ‘You make me sound like the Dalai Lama. I’m not sure I said those things exactly.’
‘Meh, maybe my interpretation was a little philosophical.’ They laughed together, something Rosalie had been missing recently.
‘Anyway, my point is, you made me ask myself some very important questions. When I looked behind the superficial reasons for having a baby, I understood that what I wanted was the kind of unconditional love that a child can give. I want someone to give all my excess time and love to. Something more than I have in my life now. But I wondered… I’m wondering, if I couldn’t be loved that way by… a man, first. Not a man who ticks everything on the checklist of what is supposed to be Prince Charming but a man whose company I enjoy and whom I respect.
‘When I think about running a record label, I know I don’t have the instinct for it, like Sofia and Andrea, even Daddy has. I guess I just wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted Daddy to take me seriously. Now, I can’t take him seriously.’
She sighed. ‘I think it’s going to take me a while to work out what I’m really passionate about. What makes me happy, in here.’ She held her fingers to her chest. ‘Not fleeting happiness that I get from purses and shoes. Not the smugness I feel when Daddy won’t give me what I want so I run up a nasty credit card bill for him.’
‘Your dad pays your credit cards for you?’
Rosalie smiled. ‘I thought you weren’t the judging type?’
Seth smiled behind his coffee cup.
‘Well, actually, I have my own money but I hold onto one of Daddy’s cards for when I’m cross.’ Then she laughed. ‘Perhaps I should go max it out now.’
‘But seriously, all of this…’ Seth gestured around the apartment. ‘This is all yours?’
Rosalie nodded. ‘I have investments that I manage. My hobby, really. And I decorated the place myself. I love interior design. I’m actually trained. I’ve done some wonderful projects.’ She stood from her seat and went in search of her portfolio, handing it to Seth as she retook her seat. ‘I keep pictures of the homes I’ve decorated. I only do it for friends, just a bit of fun, but I love it. I love how happy it makes people, you know? Like buying gifts for people. I know you think, and maybe others think, that I try to buy, I don’t know, loyalty or something, but honestly, I just love to see reactions, how people smile from a little act of kindness.’
Seth flicked through the pictures in Rosalie’s leatherbound book, then looked up to her. ‘Rosalie, these pictures, this place, this is what you should do. If you love it and you want a business, this is it. These places are like something out of a magazine.’
‘Oh, well, two of the homes have actually been featured on Cribs.’ She beamed with pride. ‘Do you really think they’re pretty?’
‘Pretty? Rosalie, they’re incredible. You have an amazing talent.’
‘I do?’
He shook his head, smiling. ‘Yes, Ros, you do. You should be really proud of these places.’
Feeling her cheeks flush, swallowing irrational emotion that rose in her throat, Rosalie fiddled with the cafetière on the coffee table in front of her.
‘Seth?’ She couldn’t bring herself to look up to him. ‘I hope you don’t think that I’m like your ex-fiancée. I would never—’
‘Ros, if I did, I don’t any more.’
‘Then… do you think… once I have worked out a few things about myself… maybe… would you consider dating me? Because I’d really like to find out everything there is to know about you.’
She dared to look him in the eye and found his face completely expressionless. She felt uncomfortable and wanted to fill their silence with words. But she had done enough talking. It was time to stop forcing people to be who she wanted them to be. So, she waited, until eventually, Seth’s lips broke into his signature smile and he said, ‘I’d like to get to know you too, Rosalie.’
Her lips curved at one side, then the other, then her smile became so big it turned to a giggle. ‘Well, that’s good then.’
Standing, she took their empty cups on her tray to the kitchen and in the privacy of the space, she held her fingertips to her lips as she smiled, feeling a jolt of promise charging through her body. She wouldn’t get her hopes up and she wouldn’t try to make Seth fit a mould. She would simply see where things went from there, on their natural course. Scruffy boots, lumberjack shirts, cheating parents, absent parents and all.
Later that night, Rosalie lit her favourite orange-peel-scented candles, set the soundtrack to Pretty Woman playing on her record player, and she cleansed her home and her life. Every pair of shoes she had in duplicate, every item of clothing she wore for other people because, frankly, no one would ever feel comfortable in it, every purse she bought purely because it was the best of the then current season, she bagged up for charity. And when she had four sacks, filled and ready to be deposited for a good cause waiting by her front door, she turned to her plastics. The first card to fall victim to the scissors was the one her dad still paid for.