The Summer I Drowned

by Taylor Hale

  “Where are we going?” I ask. “Keely’s house is that way. Just drop us off there.” I’ll be in big trouble, but it’s better than anyone knowing where the cottage is.

  “You guys are zero fun,” Dean says. More thunder and lightning. “We’re heading to the cabin. Looks like you’re stuck with us now.”

  “What?” My stomach drops. “No, I have to get back to my parents. I’ll get in trouble. Forget this, just let me out.”

  Thunder cracks so loud, even Faye jumps. “Babe, maybe she’s right,” Faye whispers. “This weather is insane. Let’s stop somewhere.”

  “My car, my rules.”

  Faye shuts up. The air cuts off from my lungs, but I try to practice the breathing that Dr. Levy taught me.

  “Dean,” I say calmly, “please let me out of the car.”

  “Don’t stress so much. We’re just cruising. You hungry?” He tosses back a paper bag. I peek into it to find fries with ketchup gushed all over them, and I kick it away.

  “Okay, Dean, we don’t want to go to the cabin,” Keely says. “Seriously, drop us off.”

  We’re already on the outskirts of town, passing by the population sign. The last time I drove out here, I was on my way to meet West’s baby girl. The time before that, West and I were speeding so fast I felt like I was in a spaceship. That’s probably the biggest thrill I’ve ever had since I fell. The accident made me timid, terrified to take risks. But West gave me the courage to try. I should be with him, not these people. But I’m trapped, and the deeper we drive into the forest, the more the water rises above my head. The raindrops on the windshield get lighter and the thunder dims. I shut my eyes. Okay, everything’s going to be fine. I’ll just let him take me to the cabin, then I’ll call Mom and Dad to pick me up.

  Dean nods at Faye. “Babe, pass me the booze.”

  She opens the glovebox and tosses him a silver flask.

  “Are you seriously drinking and driving?” I ask.

  “Calm down, city kid. Look, we’re almost out of the storm.” Dean laughs. “You might not be able to drink and drive back home, but it’s cool down here. The roads are dead this time of night.” Dean winks at me in the rear-view mirror.

  Keely bites her lip. “Dean, wait . . . Liv is right. Drinking and driving is messed up.”

  “Did I ask you?” He glares at her, before he sighs and tosses the flask back at Faye. “Fine, have it your way. No drinking yet.”

  Everyone screams when Dean jerks the van to the side. He laughs as he steadies it.

  “Dean, don’t do that!” Keely shouts.

  “You’re all pussies,” he says as he chuckles.

  I need out of this car, but the van revs as Dean hurls us forward. If I try to jump out of a moving vehicle, I’ll probably kill myself. An endless blur of trees speeds by the windows.

  “Liv, are you okay?” Miles asks, but his voice alone is enough to freak me out.

  “Leave me alone, Miles.”

  “Why are you such a stuck-up bitch?” Faye asks.

  “She won’t even talk to me,” Miles says. “She always just runs away.”

  “Then make her talk now,” Dean says. “She’s not going anywhere.”

  “What I need to talk to her about is private.”

  Cornered, I sink into the seat. Maybe I should just jump out.

  “Come on, Hendricks,” Dean says. “Don’t be a pussy. Tell her how you feel.”

  Miles is quiet for a long time before he says, “All right, Liv. Since you’re here and you’ll never talk to me alone, I want you to know that I wish things had been different between us. I thought what we had when we were kids was special.”

  “It—it was. But we were kids, Miles. We were friends. That’s it.”

  “Everyone always said we’d get married, then you came back to town and you fell in love with—” Sighing, he stops himself. “Forget it. Wow, I sound so pathetic.”

  Panic rises like an ever-growing tide; it skyrockets over my head and swallows me whole.

  “And now I don’t know how to feel about you,” Miles says. “I still love you, but I also hate you.”

  Hate. The word electrocutes me, and I think back to the footage of the man on the tape, then the dead deer outside my window. Even after everything, I never believed Miles could hate me.

  “It was you, wasn’t it, Miles?” I manage to ask.

  “What?” he says.

  “Outside of Keely’s house, and the dead animals—it was all you, wasn’t it?”

  “Are you serious?”

  My brain grinds against my skull, and I squint my eyes shut. I’m sinking. Suffocated. Trapped in this tiny space with these people I don’t trust.

  “Liv, what the hell?” Miles says. “This is what I was trying to say before, but you wouldn’t listen . . .”

  “Before what?” Anxiety overwhelms me, but right now, this is the only thing that makes sense. Miles did this. I know he did. If I’m trapped in this van with him, I want him to admit it.

  “Yeah, before what, Hendricks?” Dean says.

  “It isn’t me, Liv,” Miles says. “I know it isn’t because—”

  “Hendricks,” Dean says through his teeth. “The fuck are you talking about?”

  “Miles, seriously, shut up, man,” Shawn whispers.

  I don’t understand any of this. We drive deeper into the darkness.

  “No, I’m not taking the fall for this!” Miles says. “I know what happened! I know you guys lied about—”

  The car lunges to the side. I scream. Metal crunches. Glass shatters. My body jerks forward, and the world turns red.

  21

  When I open my eyes, I feel seasick. My body sways like I’m on a rickety, wobbly boat. Pounding head, stiff neck, excruciating pain. My vision fades in and out of blackness. The van’s headlights illuminate the kaleidoscope of glass scattered over the road. Why is everything upside down?

  Strapped to the seat, my body is suspended, and blood throbs to my skull in waves. The seatbelt compresses my chest so hard my ribs might snap. Sucking in a breath, I unbuckle it and drop to the ground, which is now the roof of the upside-down van. More pain jolts through my neck, and shards of glass pierce my palms.

  “Keely!” I say. She hangs over me, her black curls drooping like wilted flowers. I’ve never seen a more peaceful look on her face.

  The silence in the van is deafening. Dean and Faye are strapped to their seats in the front like lifeless dummies. The back of the car is distorted, but I can make out Shawn with a stream of blood trickling down his cheek. I crank my neck back to check on Miles but wince when pain shoots up my spine. I need to get help.

  My door is crumpled shut, so I squeeze through the broken window and yelp as tiny cuts howl over every inch of my skin. Once I haul myself out of the van, I stumble to my feet and cover my mouth with my cold, bloody hands. The entire back of the vehicle is caved into itself, the rumpled metal angular and pointed. It’s like a movie prop. This isn’t real.

  The van’s headlights brighten the empty road. An evergreen tree takes up the width of the street with broken bark and branches around it. The thick smell of motor oil and blood merges with wood, pine, and nature. Dusty clouds creep over the moon. The storm is gone.

  The storm.

  I back away from the vehicle. Before the crash, I freaked out at Miles. Even though Dean was acting like a maniac, I could have caused this.

  Get it together. Digging my phone from my back pocket, I try to call 911, but there’s no service. Nothing works. I scream everyone’s names: Keely, Faye, Shawn—even Dean. But no one answers. Desperate for help, I sprint up the road, the asphalt pounding at the flimsy soles of my Vans, and oh God, it hurts. Everything hurts. The sound of my feet hammering the pavement evaporates until there’s nothing but an insufferable ring in my ears. This winding road leads into
emptiness and trees, but all I do is run, because I have to help them. I have to help Keely.

  Tears wet my cheeks. My lungs heave, but I won’t stop. At a mailbox up ahead, I dive toward it.

  The Hendrickses’ cabin.

  We were so close. Hope swells through me, because light glimmers through the trees.

  My legs are numb, but they carry me toward the cabin. A dim lantern illuminates the driveway, but everything else is doused in the darkness of the night. All I need is to get close enough to the Wi-Fi. Almost there.

  When my foot catches on a root, my knees buckle. White-hot pain flashes through me when I collide with the sharp stones of the driveway. Every sensation in my body amplifies; the bruising on my legs, the cuts on the palms of my hands. My pocket is empty. Panicked, I pat down my clothes.

  My phone is gone. I must have dropped it while I was running.

  I don’t even have the strength to cry.

  Defeated, I roll on my back and stare up at the stars. They’re so much brighter out here; millions of shimmery dots stipple the navy blue, and the tops of the trees extend like hands reaching for home.

  Home. Where is home for me now? I have no idea, but I would give anything to see New York again, the crowded streets, the food carts. The girls on my volleyball team—I took them for granted. Everything in the city was safe, and only now do I understand how rare and precious it is to feel safe.

  The sound of feet dragging on stone cuts into my daze. Ignoring the pain, I jump to my feet and tune into my surroundings. A voice resounds in the distance.

  “Olivia!”

  A cold chill comes over me. “Miles? Is that you?”

  Dead silence. At the end of the driveway, a figure limps into the moonlight.

  “Miles!” I run to him, but skid to a halt. Miles’s shirt is torn open to reveal scarlet flesh, and his blond curls cloak his eyes. “You’re—you’re hurt.”

  When he falls toward me, I stagger back. “Olivia,” he croaks out.

  “Miles, we need to get help. Give me your phone.”

  “Leave them.” He coughs and sprays blood all over me. I jump back, but he steps closer, eyes still veiled. “This is where you were supposed to be with me, Liv. This is where you chose him.”

  “Miles, stop.” I step away and start crying. Please don’t let this be who he is. I’ve never wanted to be more wrong about anything in my life. “Please, Miles, help me get to the others.”

  “I should kill you for what you did to me.”

  In this light, the image is clear: Miles in the black hood, peeking into the windows of Keely’s house. The overwhelming fear—or knowing—that he wants to hurt me submerges my entire being.

  Miles’s hand extends toward me, but I vanish like smoke. Bolting to the cabin, I try to rip the door open. It’s useless. I bang on the windows and move around the sound of the house. Maybe if I break one, I can use a piece of glass to defend myself. But Miles is right behind me—he tries to grab me, but the fabric of my skirt tears through his fingers.

  Shit! Where am I supposed to go? There’s nothing but trees, so I dive into the forest. My skirt shreds on a bush as thorns claw at my bare legs. I trip over my own feet and land face-first in a tangle of nettles, their barbed leaves slicing my cheeks.

  “Olivia!” My name comes out harsh and full of hate. He rips through the underbrush, but I keep running. My throat hurts from screaming.

  “Leave me alone, Miles! Just stay back! Why are you doing this?”

  “I have to! Don’t you get it? We were supposed to get married, Liv. That was our plan. But you chose West. You chose West. Do you have any idea how bad that makes me look? To lose you to West, like I’ve been losing to him all my life?”

  “It doesn’t matter right now! We have to get help. Don’t you care about Faye?”

  “You should really think more about helping yourself.”

  Oh God, he’s going to kill me. This has to be a nightmare. Anything but the truth. Tangled up in the fingers of a dead tree, I stop and hold my breath. My pulse roars so loud I’m sure Miles will hear it if he gets too close. His feet crack over branches and dead leaves. He’ll catch me if I run, so I sink to the ground, dried pine needles digging into my legs. Breathe. Just breathe. There’s still hope.

  Miles appears out of thin air and chases me deeper into the forest. Giving up isn’t an option, but my heart stops when I splash into something cold and wet. The moon ripples off the lake surrounding me.

  The water.

  I’ve reached a dead end.

  Swim. You have to swim.

  But I can’t.

  Fear wraps around my throat as I take another step into the water. Just swim. I can do it. I have to. If I could do it with West, I can do it without him. But Miles is behind me, walking toward me, the grin on his face just like the one from my dream.

  “There you are.”

  “Miles, stop—get back!”

  He grabs me, and everything becomes cold and silent. Miles’s face is contorted through the surface of the water, his strong hands pressed to my chest, holding me under. When he pulls me up, I gasp for air.

  “Stop!” I scream. “Please, stop!”

  “I can’t.” Miles pulls my face close to his, his breath sickeningly hot on my lips. “Nobody’s even going to miss you. Do you think West will care? He won’t. Your parents? They’ll get over it. You’re nothing special. I don’t even know why I ever liked you.”

  I grip onto his wrist as he holds me by my shirt. “Miles, stop, please. You can still stop this. If you let me go, I won’t tell anyone, I swear.” I’m grasping at straws, but every moment above the water is invaluable. I just need to survive.

  Miles says nothing as he dunks me into the water again. His strength is tremendous, and I’m as weak as a paper doll. My body betrays me; my kicks and flails do nothing. I should have trusted my instincts. My dreams warned me, my gut warned me. But my stupid, stupid mind convinced me to get into that van, and now I’m dead because of it.

  As Miles’s hands crush me like two mallets, my heart fills with despair. This will destroy my parents. I picture my mom in my dad’s arms in that cottage, waiting for me to get back. And West—will he care? Is he even thinking about me right now? I wish he were here to save me. More than that, I wish I were strong enough to save myself.

  I reach for something to grab, any kind of weapon, a rock to bash Miles’s head in with, but everything is too small and sludgy. Bits of pebbles slip through my fingers as the strangest fog sweeps over me. The calm. It’s familiar, cradles me like I’m a baby again, resting in my mother’s arms. Nothing runs through my head anymore, no more fear. I just know it’s too late.

  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to die, ever since I learned what dying really is. I guess it’s just . . . peaceful.

  22

  I wake up in my grave. Lake water submerges half of my body, and the smell of algae and dirt circles me. Soaking wet and chilled to the core, I shoot up and suck in a breath. I’m on the shoreline. Soggy skin, scratched-up legs, shredded clothes sopping with mud.

  I’m not dead?

  Yelping, I inch away from the water until I’m on the grass. Sunlight peeks through the trees and sparkles off the water. A flutter of sparrows dances over the blue and salmon sky; a hummingbird pecks at a tree; a squirrel hops across the branches of two birches.

  There’s no sign of Miles anywhere. Carefully, I stand on wobbly legs. Just because I can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not here. He could be waiting for me to come out so he can torment me more. With daylight on my side, I pick up a branch sturdy enough to be a weapon.

  “Miles?” I call out.

  No reply.

  “If you’re out here, say something!”

  I have no idea why he didn’t kill me, but a thunderclap of memories hits me. Keely strapped to the sea
t. It all feels like a bad dream, but now that I’m awake and the sun has dawned, the evidence is still here. I have to get back to the road.

  The trek through the forest is painful but easier to maneuver with the sun to guide me. Still with the branch in my hands, I keep glancing over my shoulder for Miles, but he never shows up. The thought of Keely’s safety becomes my north star. I pass under canopies of leaves and dodge spiky bushes until I reach the road.

  Free from the shade, the sun beats down on my waterlogged skin. I drag myself up the empty road. Something shines up ahead, so I run for it. My phone. It’s still on and weakly connected to the cabin’s Wi-Fi. Forty missed calls on Facebook, and the clock reads 6:00 a.m. Relief soaks me. Just as I go to call my parents, West’s name appears on my screen. I answer immediately.

  “West?”

  “Olivia! Jesus Christ, you’re alive. Where are you?”

  “I’m—West, there was a crash—”

  “I know. Where are you? They’re trying to find you.”

  “Miles, he—”

  “I know.” West’s voice breaks. “Olive, I know.”

  Miles tried to kill me. It still doesn’t feel real.

  “The cops found the van, but you’re weren’t in it,” West says. “Where are you?”

  “I’m on the road, near your parents’ cabin.”

  “Someone will be there soon. Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know. What about Keely?”

  “No idea, but I’ve got to call the cops and tell them where you are. Just stay put. Don’t move.”

  He hangs up. I hug myself, feeling cold and empty and scared and so, so powerless. Holding my head between my hands, I try to block out the emotions. It’s no use. As I lie on the dewy grass, I slowly turn to stone.

  When I open my eyes, three vehicles are parked in front of me: a cop car, an ambulance, and my parents’ rental sedan.

  “Olivia!” Mom wails. She runs toward me but stops as I pull myself up. My parents wrap me in a tight hug.