Edinburgh Excursion

by Lucilla Andrews

  ‘Both those agonizing thoughts occurred to me whilst you were so sweetly explaining. I’ve got to kiss you.’ Some minutes later he said, ‘We haven’t always communicated as badly as recently. Without knowing anything about John when we first met, I was convinced you’d just been through some emotional trauma of that nature. You didn’t know, or want to know, I was a man. Isn’t that so?’

  ‘Yes. Exactly. It was like a wall.’

  ‘Exactly. It saddened me for you, but eased the problem of my arrangement with Catriona. I’d have regretted my promise to stay out of her way much more had I not been certain that to try and force matters with you at that stage would have been disastrous. Then,’ he said bleakly, ‘I had to create my own disaster ‒’

  ‘Let it go and tell me something much more vital!’ I took us firmly back to Josephine and asked about the photo in his study desk. ‘Why’s it there, if you weren’t engaged?’

  ‘That’s where it is? I wasted an hour looking for it last night. She left it with me for my mother. Mother’s her godmother. I thought I’d take it up this weekend, not much caring for the idea of spending it over your empty flat.’

  I stroked his hair. ‘Last night seems centuries back. Gemmie wanted me to invite you.’

  ‘Catriona told me.’

  ‘Do you mind?’

  ‘Not now.’ His smile was a caress. ‘Not that I normally enjoy parties, but then I’ve never taken you to one. My normal aversion to parties was a cause of much displeasure to Josephine.’

  ‘Parties her own thing?’

  ‘Very much so. Fortunately, Ian, her husband, is equally sociable. I’m not, but as he’s one of my oldest friends and I’ve known Josephine since we were children, when he asked me to take her around whilst she was up here with her father, I did. Ian got up from London most weekends. Poor Josephine!’ His eyes danced. ‘I’m sure it was absence and not my taste in music that finally persuaded her to ring the wedding-bells after keeping Ian dithering for years. But there’s no question that after our third Beethoven concert the poor girl was near screaming. Ian wisely chose the next day to fly up with the ring. He’d been dangling that for years, but she’s always refused to contemplate a long official engagement. On that I agree with her. Do you?’

  I nodded vaguely and changed the subject. ‘You like Beethoven?’

  ‘Very much. So do you. When we’re married, if all other lines fail, I’ll re-establish communications with a record of his Seventh.’

  I watched the rain turning the plateau into a fast-running, shallow lake. ‘It was this kind of a day. Did I give you any fleas?’

  ‘No more than six of such a singularly tenacious strain that I was spraying the inside of this car for a good two weeks after. And since tenacity is a Scottish trait ‒ why won’t you even discuss marrying me? Too much deception on my part? Unhappily, I can well understand that.’

  ‘It’s not that! The first was Catriona’s idea and the second ‒ well ‒ she did try to straighten me out by showing me the wedding announcement and photo in the paper.’

  ‘I know.’

  I felt the new tension in his arms and saw it in his face. ‘Did you ask her to?’ He nodded. ‘Why? To see how I’d react?’

  ‘To let you know I was free.’

  ‘Were you in love with me then?’

  ‘A little, from the beginning. Very much, from the last time we were up here.’

  Happiness lent its own detachment. It was some seconds before I caught on. ‘As you didn’t then know why all the sweetness and light, no wonder you were so foul-tempered. That night I was sitting on the stairs, did you think I was waiting for you? Didn’t you meet Robbie? Think he’d told me about your cash?’

  ‘Yes, to all three. Also ‒ hadn’t he just been kissing you?’

  ‘I don’t think so ‒ not then. Earlier, yes. You weren’t seriously jealous of Robbie?’

  ‘I was jealous of his kissing you, but ‒ er ‒ as you seemed so friendly, I didn’t think you could be too interested in him.’

  ‘As you thought I’d decided to land you, that figures.’ I smiled quickly. ‘Did you really think I’d take off my bra?’

  He flushed. ‘No. I’d realized what I’d done before you admitted to being England’s secret answer to the S.N.P.’

  I ran a finger over his set jaw. ‘And you’re still a little mad at me for sending you up.’

  ‘Not with you. Never with you.’ He caught my hand and kissed it. ‘With myself, and not a little. Very mad. The damage I did that night was irrevocable and unforgivable. And why you won’t marry me.’

  ‘Rubbish! On the face of it I must’ve looked on the make. And you must’ve met that before. As Bassy said, “One doesn’t have to love the bastard to see he’s a sitting duck.” Anyway, you more than straightened that one out the night you asked me to marry you. I suppose Catriona told you what was going on? I would like to thank you ‒’

  ‘You try that, Alix, and I’ll be bloody mad with you! Incidentally, though a god-awful calculated risk, it wasn’t the one you assumed. The one risk worrying me was that you would ask the one question you did. For your information,’ he said unsteadily, ‘neither then ‒ or now in cold blood. As it’s miraculously not what I thought, why won’t you marry me?’

  It had to be said, ‘Because I won’t make you a good wife. I’ll make you a lousy wife. I can’t do that to you.’

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘you couldn’t. May I ask, why will you make me a lousy wife?’

  I hesitated, ‘You won’t like this ‒’

  ‘Go on, my darling.’

  ‘Charles, you’ve got too much money. As you’ll take that for granted, having always had it, I can’t expect you to understand the kind of pulverizing effect it has on me.’

  ‘As you take for granted hair like gold silk, indescribably beautiful dark-blue eyes, a skin as disturbingly soft as I’ve long suspected, and the most exquisite pair of female legs I’ve ever seen. I take your point. And ‒’

  I blushed. ‘Charles, I’m serious.’

  ‘So am I, Alix. You were saying?’

  ‘Having all this money, your wife’ll have it easy. Dandy, for the right girl. Not me. If I don’t work, if I’ve to chuck five and a half years’ training, even for you, I’ll go crazy with frustration and resentment. It’s no use kidding you, and would be downright criminal to try, that I’ll settle gracefully for being a decorative little woman amongst the fleshpots. Or that I’m the type to suffer in silence. Or that you, darling, are the type to put up with my nagging. Yes, it’ll work for a month or so,’ I added unhappily, ‘and then we’ll clash morning, noon, and night, until I walk out leaving you thanking heaven, fasting. I hate saying this, and I’ll hate leaving you, but I’d rather leave you this way, with love, than with a “Praise the Lord, it’s over” syndrome.’

  ‘That last would be unpleasant,’ he agreed mildly. ‘There’s just one wee detail I’d like to draw to your attention. I’m asking you to form a contract, not break one. Or are you under the erroneous impression I want to marry you after you’ve worked this contracted year in Inverness?’

  ‘But you don’t want a working wife!’

  ‘By your reasoning, do I want a job? Does Catriona? Should we both ask for our cards?’

  ‘No, but ‒’

  ‘We don’t work for the pay-packets, and you do?’

  ‘Obviously.’

  ‘You nurse for the pay? It’s so good?’

  ‘You know it’s lousy!’

  ‘Then, as money’s so important to you, what are you doing in the nursing profession? As it is so important, I’d better warn you, as my wife your salary will vanish in my tax-bill. You wouldn’t consider working for love of the job?’

  ‘You really wouldn’t mind?’

  ‘I not only wouldn’t mind your carrying on nursing as long as you wish, I’d be very worried if you gave it up. I know some nurses regard training as a useful but temporary occupation before marriage, but those are seldom the real pr
ofessionals. Catriona and you are, and being professionals you’ll both object strongly to the word “dedicated”. But since that’s precisely what you are, any man who disregards that is asking for trouble from both of you.’

  ‘You do understand! I didn’t think you could.’ I thought of Catriona this morning. ‘She said she couldn’t have got her parents’ original consent without you. I wish to God Robbie had your attitude.’

  ‘Could you marry those two off this afternoon, Alix?’

  I smiled slightly. ‘So sorry.’

  ‘Not at all. I hope that’s now disposed of the nauseating prospect of my having to return to a home presided over by a decorative little woman amongst the fleshpots? But in case you’re still perturbed over these clashes ‒ morning and noon we’ll be working. We should get the occasional weekend together, and of course the nights.’ The expression in his eyes was in direct contrast with his prosaic tone. ‘Admittedly, we’ve had difficulty in communicating with words, but after this past hour do you seriously fear we’ll clash at night?’

  My heart was behaving as oddly as his. ‘Dr Linsey, you’re making verbal rings round me.’

  ‘Miss Hurst, I haven’t finished. A rather pleasant idea has occurred to me. I’d like your opinion. If you were to ask Miss Bruce if she could arrange for you to work this contracted year in Edinburgh instead of Inverness, you’d only then have to make the minor adjustment of living one floor up. Naturally, if Miss Bruce can’t, we’ll still marry as soon as suits yourself and your parents, and I’ll commute to Inverness at the weekends. But ‒ er ‒ don’t you rather like Edinburgh?’

  ‘You know I love it and you! You’re making it all sound so wonderful and so simple. Only, it’s not. That’s why I’m scared. You’ll do all the giving and me all the taking. Too one-sided.’

  ‘Like this?’ He picked up my hand and held it over his right eye. ‘Yes, I’d have had a one-sided vision for life had you not shifted that glass.’

  ‘Don’t, please!’ I snatched away my hand and covered my face. ‘I can still see it. I’ve got a photographic memory for injuries ‒’

  ‘And eye injuries literally revolt you. That’s why I’ve not stressed mine since Catriona told me. She said you were really ill that evening. What that did to me I can’t describe.’

  ‘I’d much rather you didn’t!’ I shuddered violently. ‘Not just an eye, but your eye. Don’t ever talk about it again, please.’

  ‘I’m sorry to upset you, darling, but I most certainly will and in great detail ‒ now and when we’re married ‒ every time you mention this one-sided nonsense. If necessary, if we have sons, I’ll insist the first is Jefferson and the second Evan. Don’t worry, I’ll carry an ample supply of paper-bags.’

  I dropped my hands from my face. ‘Charles, how can you be such a sod!’

  ‘Because you have to be reminded my offer includes myself and I owe you an unrepayable debt.’ He waited a few seconds, then said very gently, ‘Or won’t your pride let you contemplate that one either?’

  I caught my breath. ‘Hoist!’

  ‘Precisely.’

  I had to think without confusion. I moved out of his arms, and he made no attempt to stop me. I sat in the driving-seat, leant both arms on the wheel, and gazed unseeingly through the curtain of water. I felt him watching me as he waited in silence.

  When I discovered what I was thinking I knew why, and what to do. I turned to him. ‘Charles, I’ve just had an idea. I’ve got awfully fond of a cute old arthritic called Mrs Hunter. She’s hung-up on weddings, and a pretty wonderful woman. Tell you about her some time. I hated saying goodbye to her, and she vowed she wasna greetin’! Just a wee bit water in the eyes, ye ken, Nurse. I’m going to ask Miss Bruce if I can have her back.’

  I never knew how I got there, but I was back in his arms. It was a long time before he looked reluctantly at his watch. ‘If we move now we can get your things put off and returned from Newcastle. And if we stay much longer this deluge’ll wash us off. It hasn’t let up once.’

  ‘Och, it’s but a wee drop!’

  He laughed. ‘Edinburgh’s your scene, Alix!’

  It was about an hour later that Catriona had her second near-coronary of that morning. ‘You can’t ring him, Alix! Won’t be any use! I’ve told you, he doesn’t want to know me now! Charlie, stop her!’

  Charles folded his arms as he leant against the edge of the flat-topped rosewood desk in his drawing-room. ‘I want to marry the girl, Catriona. If I knock her cold she may change her mind. Nothing less’ll stop her when she decides to take action ‒ and I think she’s right. You and I owe Robbie Ross far more than we gave him credit for, which does us no credit. If I tried to thank him he’d be grossly, and rightly, offended. But I think he’d appreciate thanks from you.’

  ‘He won’t even talk to me! You’ll see!’

  I was through to the hospital. ‘Is Dr Ross available to take a private call? Miss Hurst. Thanks. I’ll hold on.’ Charles had moved off the desk. ‘You don’t have to go, Charles. This isn’t a deathly secret ‒ Oh, Robbie? Yes, Alix. No,’ I said, before Robbie asked the obvious, ‘I haven’t gone. I’ve been getting engaged.’

  ‘You’ve been doing what?’

  ‘Getting engaged. But that’s not why I’ve rung you. I’ve rung to tell you you are one two-timing, thick-headed sod! I know you’re in love with Catriona. Why couldn’t you have known I was in love with her brother? Luckily Charles told me, and a good thing he did as a girl likes to know who her in-laws’ll be. What if I didn’t like Catriona? And then found myself saddled with her as a sister-in-law? Think of all those future family feuds and my poor kids having to console each other every Christmas with “It’s not us that’s making Mum do her nut ‒ it’s Aunty Catriona. When’s she going?” All very well for you to gasp like a landed fish the other end, and I know you only wanted to protect Catriona, but hell ‒’

  ‘Alix Hurrrst, will you stop that blethering, gurrrl! What the devil,’ bellowed Robbie, ‘is all this about?’

  ‘Just letting you know chivalry isn’t dead; it’s taken refuge north of the Border. Place is lousy with MacGalahads! Keep in the groove, lad! Catriona’s right beside me and going into an acute anxiety state as she wants to talk to you. By the way, I’d better tell you ‒ I told her what you said to me last night.’

  ‘Alix, if I could get my hands on you ‒’

  ‘You can’t, duckie. Charles wouldn’t like it.’

  There was a small silence. ‘I’d like a word with Catriona, please, Alix.’

  I held out the receiver. ‘Robbie would like a word with you, Catriona.’ Charles grabbed my other hand, and we belted for the hall. ‘Think it’ll work?’

  ‘Come into the study.’ He was shaking with laughter. ‘I don’t think you’ll marry them off this afternoon, though I’d say you’ve given them ‒ how shall I put it ‒ a wee push in the right direction. I could add, God help them if they try and push back! Come here, please. What wouldn’t I like?’ I told him. ‘Most certainly not! My prerogative.’

  We were in the leather armchair when Catriona came in looking very pink and slightly bored. ‘You don’t mind if I leave my luggage here till later, Charlie. I’ve rung Aunt Elspeth. She doesn’t mind if I don’t lunch with her.’

  Charles said, ‘I don’t mind.’

  I said nothing.

  Catriona looked at us, and then her hands. ‘One can’t talk on the ’phone. He’s on wagon call. I ‒ I asked if he’d stand me lunch in the canteen. I’m going over now.’

  I said, ‘You’ll need a mac.’

  Charles added, ‘And umbrella.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Catriona politely.

  It was still pelting when we drove down to Bassy’s. He had just got up and was cooking his breakfast. He gave us tea with powdered milk and added more sausages to the frying-pan. ‘So you didn’t go, Alix?’

  I explained one half, Charles, the other.

  ‘Christ,’ said Bassy, ‘I hope you know what you�
�re doing taking that bird on. She’s going to set you back a packet in lost-property fees.’

  ‘I believe you,’ said Charles.

  Bassy turned over the sausages. ‘Something else I’d better warn you. Don’t take her near Greece. She’s too like our old man. Know what happened first time he hit Athens?’

  ‘Lost his passport? Travellers’ cheques?’

  ‘Not only the whole bloody lot, but the ship. It was eight weeks before Mum could get him back on another. You told Mum and Dad yet, Alix?’

  ‘No. I thought I’d ring them this evening. I didn’t tell ’em I was coming today. Did you?’

  ‘I sent ’em a card. I said you might show up this evening, but I thought you might wait till after Gem’s wedding.’ He looked at us over his shoulder. ‘I figured this might happen.’

  ‘How?’ I demanded. ‘We didn’t.’

  ‘Ah well,’ said Bassy. ‘It’s a question of experience. When you’ve seen as many of the old “Make love, not war” placards as I have you get to read the message three miles off.’

  Charles’s mouth was twitching wildly at the corners.

  I said, ‘That’s why you said I didn’t have to spit in his eye?’

  ‘Natch. More tea?’

  ‘Thank you.’ Charles held out his mug. ‘I hope you approve?’

  ‘Sure. As a private citizen I’m all for it. Not that I could object in any other capacity. I don’t hold with any form of discrimination. Not that I approve of your being over-privileged, but as you’re neither responsible for the laws of primogeniture nor heredity, be bloody unfair to blame you because our freaky but democratically elected legislators allow said laws to stand. Of course, it won’t help my image any, but who minds the odd sacrifice?’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Charles, ‘thank you very much. I must say, Bassy, I do appreciate your tolerant attitude.’

  ‘Only intelligent attitude.’ Bassy turned with the frying-pan in one hand and fork in the other. ‘I’ll tell you this, Charles, if there’s one thing I can’t something tolerate, it’s intolerance. I say ‒ the old bird’s petrol-pump had gone. Do you know anything about wiring?’