Calm down. It’s going to be fine.
Of course it would. There was nothing to worry about. No reason to think that although we were great as friends from a distance that it might be awkward actually meeting in person. Absolutely no problem about… My thoughts halted as my phone rang and I pressed the button on my daft Star Trek-type earpiece to answer it. I’d made a wish list for my new car and built-in Bluetooth was definitely on it but, for now, this had to do.
‘Hey.’ Seb’s deep tones, with their well-spoken, Home Counties accent, drifted directly into my ear. To me it was the epitome of that classic Army officer voice, a fact I’d begun teasing him about early into our friendship.
‘Hi. Everything OK?’
‘Fine. I was just checking on you.’
‘I’m OK. Not far to go now. Just a few minutes away according to the satnav.’
‘Great. And how’s the overthinking going?’
‘Huh?’
‘How many arguments have you had with yourself coming up that this might not be the right thing to do? That things might be awkward, and any other random scenarios you’ve cooked up between home and here.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
The deep laugh rumbled directly into my ear and sent a ripple of pleasure to places that it wasn’t helpful for them to be right now.
‘I already told you you’re a horrible fibber.’
‘Thanks.’
‘I can see some lights turning into the car park. Is that you?’
‘I am turning into the car park right now, so it might be. Don’t watch me park. You’ll put me off and I’ll probably prang something!’
He laughed again and hung up. I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone, so I aimed for a space and parked uneventfully. Grabbing my bag, I got out of the car and pressed the button to lock it before turning back to the car park to see if I could spot Seb. It didn’t take long.
I’d known he was tall at six three, but he looked even broader in real life than he did on the screen, especially wrapped up as he was against the bitter chill of the evening, and together it made quite an impact. I did my best to look casual despite the swarm of butterflies that had just let fly in my stomach.
His steps were relatively quick, and there was less of a limp than I’d been expecting. In truth, I don’t know exactly what I had expected but, I guess, in my naivety, I’d expected there to be a more telltale outward sign of his injury. His hair was freshly cropped, and as the light from a street lamp fell upon him, I saw those laughing eyes and the wide, smiling mouth. Oh crap. He was even better looking in real life than he was on screen. How was that possible? Was it even legal?
‘I hid so I didn’t make you crash.’ Mischief shimmered in his eyes.
‘Thanks, I appreciate that,’ I said, allowing myself to be enveloped in the warm, comforting hug that Seb wrapped around me and a hint of a woody aftershave tickled my senses. ‘Bearing in mind your size, I imagine that can’t have been the easiest of tasks.’
‘I’ve had practice. When you’re in a war zone, you’d be amazed how small a big bloke can make himself.’
I pulled a face. ‘I bet.’
‘Besides, I aim to please.’
Oh crikey. And I had very little doubt that he did just that. I’d thought he looked good on a screen, but it seemed a computer screen image had nothing on real life. My crush indicator had already dinged up a few notches. Not at all ideal, but also not much I could do about that now.
‘How was the drive?’ he asked, leading us out towards the road and the brighter lights of the town centre.
‘OK, thanks. Yours?’
‘Good.’
‘Have you been here long?’
‘No. I hadn’t long pulled up when I called you.’
‘OK. So, looking forward to the play?’
‘Can’t wait. It’ll be a real trip down memory lane. Is this place all right?’ he said, slowing down by a small restaurant with a bay window, the bottom half of which was steamed up and above which was written ‘Luca’s’ in a script font. ‘I know you like Italian.’ Seb winked and I whacked him on the arm with my clutch bag.
‘Funny. And yes, it looks good.’
‘Great.’ He pushed open the door for me, and we both gave an involuntary shiver as the warmth of the restaurant contrasted with the chill of the evening we’d stepped in from.
A waiter headed over to us, took our coats and showed us to a table by the window, complete with single red rose and candles. Seb didn’t seem to have noticed, so I took my cue from him and continued the casual chat. The romantic set-up was harder to ignore when the waiter returned, took our drinks orders and lit the candles with a flourish before disappearing again.
‘OK, do we need to talk about the candles?’ Seb asked, laughing.
‘Candles?’ I asked in what I hoped was a vague manner.
He shook his head. ‘Just ignore them if they bother you.’
I shifted in my seat. ‘They don’t bother me. I like candles, but it’s a bit… awkward, isn’t it?’
‘Why? Because it’s a romantic table for two? Don’t worry about it. I’m not.’
That’s reassuring then. I think.
‘Honestly, Lots. They’d be doing the same if I came in here with my brother, or Dad, or my ugliest, biggest mate. Don’t get hung up on things that don’t matter.’ He reached over and physically unballed the fist I hadn’t realised I’d even clenched.
‘I just don’t want you feeling uncomfortable.’ I shrugged.
He shook his head. ‘I don’t. I’m out to dinner with a good friend who happens to be very attractive. If anyone thinks I could pull you, I’m not about to disavow them of that belief. It’s not in my best interest.’
I couldn’t help laughing. ‘Pull me?’ I asked. ‘Charming.’
‘Sorry. You can take the boy out of the Army…’
I smiled, shaking my head.
‘OK?’ he asked, his voice soft, the concern in it obvious.
‘Yes,’ I answered, honestly. ‘Yes. I am.’
His smile was his only reply, but it was more than enough.
11
‘So, what was the last play you went to see?’ I asked, settling in to my seat and flicking through the programme Seb had insisted on buying me as a souvenir of our first official meeting in person – which still definitely wasn’t a date.
‘And Then There Were None.’
‘No! Seriously? Agatha Christie again?’
‘Yep. I know. Like I said, trip down memory lane.’
I tilted my head. ‘Is that a good lane?’
His expression was soft as he looked back at me. ‘Very. My mum used to take us to the theatre. It was really her thing. When Dad was away on exercise, but especially on deployment, she’d book us tickets to see all sorts of things. Christie was her favourite. I guess I’d forgotten that until we had the conversation ages ago about how much you like her work. It was a good memory to rediscover, so thank you for that.’
I smiled in reply.
‘I think she’d have liked a lot about you.’
It was obvious by how he spoke just how much his mum had meant to him and I flushed a little at the generous compliment. ‘Thank you.’
It was his turn to smile.
‘You’ve never thought about going with your dad? Or your brother?’ I asked.
‘It never even occurred to me. But Dad was never a theatre buff. More of an outside man. Even now he spends a good part of his day in his garden or up on his allotment.’
‘Oh, he and my parents would get on well then. They like nothing better than chatting about new varieties they’re going to try and concocting recipes with some weird new veggie they’ve discovered.’
‘Exactly! I got given some purple potatoes last year. Purple!’ he shook his head. ‘So weird.’
‘What did they taste like?’
‘Just like normal potatoes, actually, which was oddly disappointing.’ His smile broke into a lau
gh and I loved the sound of it, its deep rumble washing over and relaxing me even more. There was something about Seb. He had a calmness. A stillness in his soul that you couldn’t help but be affected by. The only thing that worried me was just how much I was affected by it.
‘Want one?’ He offered the box of chocolates he’d bought.
‘Ooh! Any I’m not allowed to take?’
He wrinkled his forehead. ‘No. Of course not. Choose whatever you like.’
I took the orange cream and bit in, closing my eyes in delight at its yumminess.
Next to me, Seb laughed. ‘You look like you’re enjoying that way too much.’
I bumped against him. ‘Oh shoosh. I just haven’t had one of those for ages.’
‘Because some were off limits before?’
Glancing briefly from under my lashes, I saw him watching me. ‘It wasn’t that they were off limits. More that I knew my ex really liked them, so I just always left them for him.’
‘Even though you liked them too? Surely he wouldn’t have minded sharing.’
I shrugged. ‘I guess.’ Honestly, I wasn’t so sure, but as all that was in the past now, it didn’t seem to matter too much.
‘There’s another one there. Have that too.’ Seb pointed to the corner of the box.
‘Don’t you want one?’
‘Nope. I eat pretty much everything in this box and having seen how much you enjoyed the first one, I don’t think I could now deprive you of another.’
I laughed, taking the sweet and popping it in my mouth. ‘Thanks,’ I said, around it.
‘Pleasure.’
Seb picked another chocolate out of the box without looking as the lights began to dim in the theatre. Without thinking, I squeezed his arm in excitement and he momentarily, and very gently, laid one large hand over mine in response.
The room quietened, the curtain rose and up on the stage, the set for act one was illuminated. I sat in the low light, feeling the warmth and strength of Seb’s shoulder against mine as his broad frame filled the seat and did my best to concentrate on the action about to unfold in front of me, and not the man beside me.
* * *
Exiting the warm fug of the theatre into the cold, brisk air of the night took my breath away. The clear sky of earlier had been replaced with a layer of cloud from which hung the vague threat of snow. I shivered and wrapped my coat tighter around me.
‘You all right?’
‘Yes. Just chilly after being in there.’
‘Here.’ Seb held out his arm and I tucked my own around it as we walked quickly back towards the car park, gratefully accepting any and all transference of heat from his warm bulk to mine.
‘Thanks for a great night,’ I said, pulling away as we got to the entrance of the car park. By the direction he’d walked from when I pulled up, I guessed his car was nearer the entrance. I knew he had a disabled parking badge, but it wouldn’t have surprised me in the least to find out that he didn’t use it. ‘It was lovely to meet you in person.’
‘And not horribly awkward after all?’
I grinned. ‘No. Not horribly.’
His smile broke the shadow of his face. ‘I’ll walk you to your car.’
‘Oh, it’s fine. You don’t have to do that. Just go and get warm.’
He began walking towards my car, reaching back and tagging my arm when I didn’t immediately follow.
‘Do you ever listen to people?’ I asked.
‘All the time. When they speak sense.’
‘What’s not sensible about what I just said? In fact, I’d argue it was eminently sensible. You going to your car, which was closest, and getting warm is good for your health. Ergo sensible. Faffing around, needlessly walking me to car when I’m quite capable of finding it by myself is less so.’
‘Finished?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good. So, here’s my counter. I have no doubt that you’re capable of finding your car by yourself. That’s not why I’m walking with you. I just prefer, for my own peace of mind, to see you safe and sound to your car.’
‘It’s not far.’
‘Doesn’t have to be. Bad things happen, Lottie, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you that I might have been able to prevent.’
‘You’re not an Avenger, you know.’
‘No. This is true. More’s the pity.’
‘It is a pity.’
‘Thanks.’ He gave me a look. ‘I’m not trying to be macho or anything. I know you’re capable of looking after yourself and all the rest of it. This is just me. Maybe it’s old-fashioned, maybe it’s because of what I did for a living, maybe it’s just the way I’m built, but I always see a woman to her door.’
‘What if you’d had a horrible date?’
‘We didn’t.’
‘I wasn’t talking about us. And that wasn’t a date. You said so yourself.’
‘Oh. Yes.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Right. I did say that.’
‘So?’
‘So, no matter. I’d still do my best to make sure she got home safely.’
Without thinking, I put my hand up to his cheek. He smiled softly against it.
‘Oh! God. Sorry.’ I snatched my hand back. ‘That was probably really inappropriate. I mean, I didn’t… It’s just that you…’
Seb smiled again and caught my hand briefly before letting it go again. ‘Lottie, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.’
I gave a wince. ‘Sorry. Forgot where I was for a minute.’
‘And where exactly did you think you were?’
‘I don’t know. It was just a really sweet thing to say… and I sort of got carried away. I guess I’m so comfortable with you, I forgot this is our first proper meeting and I need to rein in the tactile side of my personality.’
Seb waved a hand, dismissing it. ‘Just because we haven’t met up until tonight doesn’t mean we don’t know each other. And you don’t need to rein anything in.’ He stopped at my car and looked down at me. ‘Anyone ever told you you worry too much?’
‘Yes. You for one.’
He nodded. ‘Sounds like something I would say.’
I let out a breath of laughter. ‘Thanks for arranging tonight, and the tickets and everything. I’ve had a lovely time.’
‘Thanks for coming.’
I reached up and hugged him, my feet on tiptoe to reach around his neck, even in my block-heeled boots. His arms wrapped around my body and I felt the heat rush through me. I tried to convince myself it was just physics. The sudden closeness of another human, his body heat transferring to me. But I knew that was a big fat whopper. The heat rushing through me right now was because I was wrapped in the arms of a bloke I’d had a crush on for ages and he was a really, really good hugger.
In a way, I’d kind of hoped that once we met in person, that image I’d built up of him wouldn’t quite live up to the reality and I could gradually, and painlessly, let said crush slowly dissipate back into nothing. Unfortunately, that wasn’t how it had gone. Seb Marshall in real life was even better than I could ever have imagined. Which was really, really inconvenient.
He stepped back and held the door as I unlocked it and got in.
‘Drive carefully,’ he said, closing the door.
I nodded and turned the key. Nothing. Glancing up at the window, I gave a little shake of my head to signify it was no big deal and tried again. Even more nothing.
Seb opened the door.
‘Problem?’ he asked.
I slid my glance across.
‘Just call me Captain Obvious.’
‘I thought you were a Major.’
‘You’re correct. Fair enough. Major Obvious. What’s up?’
‘Who knows,’ I said, letting out a sigh. ‘It’s been doing this for a while now. I’ve taken it to the garage, but they just keep charging me to tell me it’s obviously intermittent and they can’t find anything wrong.’
‘Worth another go?’
I wiggled the gears
tick as though that would help and tried turning the key again. Nada.
‘It’s not the battery, as that was replaced the first time it did it.’
‘Do you have breakdown?’
‘Yeah,’ I said, letting out a sigh and leaning across to the glove compartment to riffle through and find the card with the breakdown company’s details on. ‘I’ve been wanting to replace the car for a while but just haven’t got round to it. And now I’m worried that when I try to part-exchange it, it’ll do this and I’ll be screwed.’
I dialled the number of the recovery company, gave them the details of what had happened and the postcode of the car park. When they asked if I was on my own, I said yes. Partly because I knew it might speed things up but also because I was hoping to get Seb to go home and get warm. As much as I enjoyed his company, it was bloody freezing.
‘Where’s Humphrey tonight?’
I looked across at where Seb was bent over at the door, peering in at me. ‘With my parents, probably getting thoroughly spoiled.’
‘Would they be able to have him a bit longer?’
‘Why? What are you thinking?’
‘You up for staying over?’
In the low light of the car’s interior lamp, I tried to keep my face expressionless.
‘OK. Here’s the plan,’ Seb began. ‘I know a bloke who’s a genius with anything mechanical. I’ll call him and I’m pretty sure he will be able to take a look at it tomorrow. Whatever’s going on with this baby, he’ll find it. In the meantime, you can see if there are any cars you’re interested in locally, and I can drive you to take a look at them while Angus works his magic on this one.’
‘Oh, Seb. That’s really kind of you, but I couldn’t impose like that at the last minute. I don’t even have any stuff with me.’
‘It’s not imposing. I have a T-shirt you can sleep in. You can wash whatever you want. There’s a twenty-four hour supermarket not far from home. We can get this taken to my place, and I can whizz you up there for any other supplies you need. So, what do you think?’
I sucked in a deep breath and turned it over. If I was honest, I hadn’t really been ready for the evening to end, but sitting in my broken-down car in a freezing-cold car park wasn’t exactly what I’d had in mind. The prospect of someone actually fixing it was also pretty appealing. And it all came with the added benefit of spending more time with Seb Marshall.
My Year of Saying No Page 9