‘You sure you don’t mind? I mean, didn’t you have plans this weekend?’
‘Nope. Just hanging out with Scoobs. And we can still do that. So long as you’re OK with everything. I don’t want you to feel I’m pressuring you or anything. I’ve been told I can be a bit—’
‘Bossy?’
‘Type A.’
‘That A can stand for all sorts, you know. You might be better off sticking with bossy.’
Seb raised one dark brow. ‘I’ll take that into consideration. So, what’s the decision because I’m freezing my arse off here and I’ve lost more than enough bits of me already, thanks all the same.’
‘Oh my god, sorry. Look. It’s fine. Just go home and get warm. I’ll get the car taken home and message you when I’m back.’
‘That wasn’t what I meant. It’s more that you’re shivering and turning a fetching shade of blue too. And while I may, or may not, have had a thing for Smurfette in my younger days, I’m not sure it’s going to be your best look.’
‘Ughhhh,’ I let out a sigh. ‘I don’t know what to do. And now I sound pathetic in front of you.’
‘Hey,’ Seb reached in and gently lifted my head off the steering wheel where I’d let it fall.
‘Sorry. Bloody car. And it was such a lovely evening too.’
He gave me that smile that sent tingles to my toes, as well as a bunch of other places. ‘It’s still a lovely evening. At the risk of sounding—’
‘Type A,’ I interjected.
‘Type A. When the guy comes, let me direct him to my place. You take it back to yours, you’re just going to have to spend more money on trying to get it fixed, with no guarantee it will work.’
‘There’s no guarantee your friend will be able to fix it either though.’
‘I’d put my money on Angus over a garage. He’s kind of a savant when it comes to stuff like this.’ He tilted his head. ‘Come on, Lots. I know Scoobs is dying to meet you.’
The hot breath from my laughter froze into clouds in front of me. ‘He’s told you that?’
‘Of course.’ Seb put out his hand to assist me from the car. ‘Let’s get the heater going in mine while we wait.’
12
‘You sure this is all OK?’ I asked again as I pointed the beeper at the car and locked it. Although as it clearly had no inclination to start, the process seemed a little redundant.
‘Definitely.’ Seb gently laid a palm behind my back and we hurried across to where his Subaru Impreza was parked. The lights flashed and doors unlocked as we got there and Seb held the door for me before hurrying around to the other side and sliding in. Turning the engine over, he fiddled with some controls on the dash and pressed another couple of buttons. ‘Heated seats,’ he pointed. ‘Just in case you wonder why it’s getting warm down there.’
‘Ha! Good to know that’s the reason. Thanks.’
He held up his hand to the vent. ‘Should be warm soon.’
‘Sorry if I’ve made you freeze your behind off. I told you you should have just gone home.’
He faced me. ‘We both know that was never going to happen.’
‘Have you always been like this?’
‘Like what?’
‘Making sure everyone is taken care of?’
He leant forward and adjusted something and warm air began blowing into the car, adding to the warmth now seeping up from the seats. His answer to my question was a shrug. ‘Never really thought about it like that.’
‘It’s a nice trait. I’m not criticising. Just being nosy, basically.’
The interior light had clicked off, but I could see the wide, slightly crooked smile against the darkness of the surroundings.
‘I’d go for interested,’ he smiled at me.
‘I’ll remember that.’
* * *
A little over half an hour later, I peered out of the window, rubbing a patch of windscreen clear of hot breath with the elbow of my coat. ‘Do you think that’s them? He said he wasn’t too far away when I called.’
‘Could be,’ Seb said, pulling the lever on the door.
I followed suit and we began walking over towards my car as Seb caught the recovery lorry driver’s attention with a wave and pointed him in the right direction.
Twenty minutes later and the breakdown man was as puzzled as the garages I’d taken it to as to the problem. He rubbed his chin and shrugged.
‘It’s a strange one. Normally things like this are pretty cut and dried, but I think we’ll have to leave it to the garage this time.’
In my head, I let out a long, painful groan.
‘Ah, don’t worry. I’m sure it won’t be anything too serious.’
Guess that wasn’t in my head then.
I nodded instead and tried to smile.
‘So, your policy allows me to take it to a local garage or your destination. Where are we off to?’ the breakdown chap asked.
Seb looked at me. ‘It’s up to you. You know the offer’s open.’
I chewed my lip for a moment. God knew I’d already thrown enough money at several garages, so I had nothing to lose by letting Seb’s friend take a look. But that did, of course, involve spending a night at Seb’s. And, innocent as his offer was, I couldn’t help the tumble of emotions that shivered through me at the thought of that. Although I’d been ruing taking part in Jess’ ‘Year of Saying Yes’ within days of it beginning, it had at least taken some of the indecisiveness out of my life. In theory, that same logic could be applied to this year. Only this year’s plan of saying no was only to things I didn’t want to do. And, as I stole a glance at Seb, saying no to him wasn’t the immediate word that sprang to mind. In fact, however much I tried to deny it and write off any attraction towards him to Jess, having seen Seb in the flesh and spent some proper time with him, I was pretty sure my original suspicions that I had a full-blown crush on him had been realised, and the more likely response, given the opportunity would be ‘Yes, yes, oh god! Yes!’
‘Lottie?’ Seb’s gentle question nudged me, thankfully, off the path my mind had begun to race down.
I slammed the brakes on that particular thought and swerved back to reality, and rational thought. I needed this damn car fixed and Seb seemed to have utter confidence in his mate, so, firmly closing the door on my renegade libido, I turned towards Seb.
‘You sure you don’t mind?’
He smiled, soft and warm, and I could feel my libido charging against that door trying to shove it back open. I mentally threw another bolt across. ‘Not at all. It’d be a pleasure.’
‘OK then. Let’s go with that plan. I’m just going to ring my parents and let them know what’s going on and double check they’re OK with keeping Humphrey a bit longer.’
He gave a quick nod, turned and headed over to the breakdown guy and began giving him the postcode of his house, spelling it out phonetically while I pressed the contact button for my parents.
‘Hi, Mum.’
‘Hello, darling. How was the play?’
‘Really good, thanks. You OK?’
‘Yes, thanks. We’re just having a nice evening in front of the telly and Humphrey seems to be very comfortable indeed. He’s currently sprawled across your father’s lap like a small rug.’ She laughed and I could hear the same love in it that I had when I spoke about my dog.
‘Sounds good. Humphrey’s actually why I was ringing. Would you be OK to have him a bit longer? I didn’t know if you had anything planned for tomorrow or anything?’
‘No, not at all. Is everything OK?’ she lowered her voice. ‘Or is it more than OK?’
Even in the dim light, I felt myself colour. ‘Mum!’
From the corner of my eye, I could see that the breakdown driver had now hooked up my car to the towing rig on the back of his truck and was finishing securing it. Seb was stood by him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, beanie pulled down low, chatting amiably as the task was performed.
‘What?’ she asked, innocence and laugh
ter mixing in her voice. ‘I’m just asking.’
‘Hmm. Don’t you start. I get enough from Jess about Seb,’ I said, keeping my voice low. ‘Anyway, it’s far more dull than that. My flippin’ car broke down again.’
‘Oh, darling!’ she said, all teasing gone now. ‘Are you all right? Where are you? Do you need us to come and pick you up?’
I smiled and felt the wave of love travel across the miles and wash over me. I might have wasted far too many of possibly my best years on a relationship that had ended like a damp firework, but I knew I’d got more than my share of luck when it came to parents. ‘No, Mum. I’m fine. Thanks. It’s all in hand. The breakdown bloke is here now and he had about as much luck as the garages have in finding the fault, but Seb knows a chap who’s apparently a genius with these things, so we’re getting it towed to Seb’s and hoping his friend will be able to take a look tomorrow and see if he has better luck.’
‘So you’re staying at Seb’s?’ The question was so loaded, I could practically hear the cartridge being locked into the shotgun.
‘Yes. And no, before you ask.’
‘Ask what?’
I couldn’t help smiling. ‘Whatever it was that you were going to ask or say. It doesn’t mean anything. I’ll be in the guest room. No funny business, don’t worry.’
‘Oh, darling. I’m not worried. In fact, I’m more than open to you having some funny business with this chap from the sounds of him.’
‘Mum!’
She laughed and I couldn’t help but smile. Although I still did my best not to show it, especially as the car now seemed to be ready. The driver had climbed up in to the lorry’s cab and Seb was heading back towards me, head down against the icy breeze.
‘Oh, darling. I’m just teasing.’
‘I know. Thanks for looking after Humphrey. I really appreciate it.’
‘It’s our pleasure, honestly. You know we love having him.’
‘Hopefully we’re going to try and have a look at some new cars tomorrow while this chap’s looking at mine and obviously it’ll depend on how he gets on as to what time I get back, but I’ll keep you posted.’
‘No rush, Lots. Don’t worry. Take all the time you need.’
‘Thanks, Mum. Love you. Speak to you tomorrow.’
‘Love you too, darling. And don’t forget to have fun!’ She gave a giggle that belied her years. ‘Bye!’
‘Bye, Mum.’
I hung up just as Seb got to me. ‘Everything OK?’
‘Yes, they’re fine with it. All sorted?’ I said, inclining my head towards the truck, which was now rumbling to a start.
‘Yep. And I’ve messaged Angus. He’ll be round at half eight tomorrow to fix it.’
I smiled. ‘Don’t you mean take a look?’
Seb opened the door of the car for me. ‘Nope. I mean fix it.’
‘Nothing like a bit of confidence.’
‘When it’s due.’ He grinned and my libido gave another hefty heave. I did my best to squish it down, but now, in the cosy, dim interior of Seb’s car, it wasn’t exactly the easiest task. I decided distraction tactics might be the best option and began asking him about his friend.
‘So, this chap. Angus?’
‘Yep?’ he asked, concentration on his face as the threatened snow instead became rain, pelting into the windscreen as we left the town and joined the motorway.
‘How did he acquire these magical mechanical talents?’
‘As far as I know, he was one of those kids who was always taking things apart to see how they worked, so I guess it goes back pretty far.’
‘Bet his parents loved that!’
Seb glanced across, the flashes of street light highlighting for an instant a sad look in those dark eyes. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t think they took a lot of interest in what he did. From what I know, he had a tough time of it. Both his parents were alcoholics. Their main interest was in where the next drink was coming from rather than fostering any talent their son might be showing.’
‘Oh. Sorry.’
‘What for?’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. For making an offhand comment.’
Seb touched my knee in reassurance. It was so brief I wasn’t sure if I imagined it, but there was a fizzing in my body that gave me a clue I hadn’t. ‘You weren’t to know.’
‘I know. But still. I forget not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to the parental lottery.’
He flicked his gaze across briefly, before focussing back on the road. ‘Don’t ever feel you need to apologise or feel guilty for having a good relationship with your family.’
I nodded, not quite able to shake the feeling I’d put my foot in it. ‘So, how do you know him? Did you serve together?’
‘No. He’s a bit older than me and we were in different units, but we did run into each other on deployments a couple of times. His skill with mechanics was kind of legendary throughout the base. Everyone took him stuff to be repaired and we chatted in passing a few times when he fixed some things for me, but that was kind of it.’
‘Is he still in the Army?’
Seb shook his head. ‘No. After three tours, he was done.’
‘I can understand that. I mean, as well as anyone who’s never been in that situation can.’
He gave me a soft smile. ‘I know what you mean. And the fact that you try and understand these things is yet another of your great qualities.’
I wasn’t sure what to say so I just smiled in response, but his eyes were on the road and I couldn’t have said whether he saw or not.
‘Readjustment to civilian life is an odd thing. Some people find it a hell of a lot easier than others.’
‘I get the feeling Angus wasn’t one of those people who found it easy then?’
‘No. He’d enlisted as soon as he was able, in order to leave behind the life he had, and he made a new life, a new family if you like, in the Army. It suited him and gave him the structure that his early home life hadn’t. He’d found his place in the world and knew where he belonged and who he was. But tours, and war, take their toll. Leaving wasn’t an easy decision for him, but it seemed the right one. He had a wife and daughter to come home to, the stability of a loving home.’
I let out a sigh. ‘But I have a horrible feeling it didn’t go to plan?’
‘No. Angus found it hard to adjust. Life outside can be completely different. He struggled with the lack of discipline he saw around him, and the lack of respect that people seem to have for one another a lot of the time now. He got a job in a garage and, for a while, that went well. He’d found a place again, doing something he was good at. And then the owner retired and handed the reins over to his son. He had dramatically different ideas for what he wanted the business to be. It was a successful operation, but this new bloke wasn’t happy servicing the customers that had been coming to them for years with their little old Ford Fiestas and people carriers. He had this idea that they were going to be luxury car specialists – Fords were out, Ferraris were in. Angus is pretty easy-going and appreciates any sort of good engineering, but this guy’s attitude rattled him from the start. I think the bloke knew that Angus could run rings around him and that rankled. He managed to get everyone’s back up and was always questioning their work and treating them… well, I guess we’re back to that disrespect thing again. Here are these guys who’ve been doing a job for thirty-odd years and in comes this upstart, for want of a better word, telling them how to suck eggs.’
‘I can’t imagine it went down well.’
‘No. Not exactly. Pretty soon people started leaving. People Angus had built up a bond with.’
‘That can’t have been easy for him.’
‘No. He’d left one work family and been lucky to find another, helping him make what had begun as a difficult transition a lot easier. And then it all began to fall apart again. He looked around for other work, but the recession wasn’t helping things and although he tried to keep his head down, the new boss didn
’t like him. I think he was intimidated by him, if I’m honest. I know the guy’s dad stood up for Angus, but it was this bloke’s business now and there wasn’t much the previous owner could do. In the end, there was some shady excuse given to get rid of Angus about how he didn’t have the right experience for the new direction the company was going in. He did his best and offered to take any courses the company wanted to send him on, but the guy just wanted him gone. Legally, I still think it was pretty ropey, but Angus didn’t have the money, or energy, to take on that fight.
‘Unfortunately, stepping into a new job wasn’t so easy and that really affected his confidence and state of mind. All he ever wanted to do when he met his wife was take care of her, and his kid was the light of his life. He vowed to give that little girl everything he hadn’t had, not just materially, but more importantly the love and support he didn’t get. And he did. Every day. Even when he was thousands of miles away. But the more he struggled to find another job, the more his confidence and mental state began to suffer too.’
‘It must have been very difficult for both him and his family.’
‘Long story, short, it was. The rows increased, tensions got to breaking point and Angus started drinking. The downhill slide came pretty fast from there.’
‘Oh, Seb.’
‘I know.’
‘So, if you didn’t know him all that well, how did you know all this was happening?’
‘I didn’t. I’d last seen him on a base in Helmand. The next time I saw him was several years later in a shop doorway as part of a homeless charity food provision programme I was taking part in.’
‘And you recognised him?’
‘Just about. But that was the easy part. Getting him help was less so.’
‘Pride.’
Seb gave an outward breath that passed for a resigned laugh. ‘You could say that. He’d lost everything, but there was still a sliver of that stubborn pride left. But there was no way I was going to leave him to rot in that doorway. He was a brother. Always will be. So, in the end, we managed to utilise that pride to our advantage, and again with the long story short thing, he’s now pretty involved with the charity itself.’
My Year of Saying No Page 10