‘They can.’
‘I felt a bit stunned, to be honest. By the look of the other two, I wasn’t the only one. And then Dad got up, came over and crouched down in front of me. I sat up a bit and he took my face in his hands and looked at me. Really looked at me so that I was focused back on him. And then he just said “No.”’
‘No?’ I asked, brushing away more tears with the back of my hand. Seb pulled a pack of tissues from his pocket and handed it over to me without comment. ‘Thanks. No what?’
‘Just no,’ he said, turning to me, a smile now thankfully having replaced the haunted look of earlier. Brushing a stray lock of hair back from my face, he caught a tear that had diverted and left a damp trail down my temple. ‘It seems that you and your year of saying no are quite influential. First your sister, then Harry, then Jess and now, of all people, my father.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘He told me how much he liked you first of all, and that whatever I’d thought you’d done, you hadn’t so that was up to me to fix, if you’d let me. But that was for another day. Then he said he needed to say something and I needed to listen. He said about remembering me mentioning you were having this year of saying no, and now it was my turn to say no.’
33
I sat, waiting, watching. The dogs had dozed off and the noise and chatter of the show seemed distant as I concentrated on Seb.
He swallowed and began again. ‘He told me it was time to say no, but it had to be for more than a year. It was for ever. That I was to say no to all those thoughts of guilt – that, no, I wasn’t responsible for my mother’s death, or my friend’s. Both those things had happened, but I didn’t cause them, and it was time to stop blaming myself.’
‘Oh, Seb. And did you listen?’
He nodded. ‘I need to thank you.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m not sure I did anything.’
‘You did. Whatever you said, which I know now wasn’t what I thought, it got him thinking. And it got him talking. He’s not always been a big one for that, especially since Mum. He loves Olivia to bits, but he’s never opened up like he seems to have done to you.’
‘Olivia already has a lot on her plate with two small children. I expect he probably thinks she has enough to do without listening to him, although I have a feeling she’d be more than happy to.’
‘I think you’re right. But you seem to have the magic touch.’
‘I don’t know about that. But maybe magic can happen when you’re chatting to plants.’
Seb laughed suddenly, rolling his eyes. ‘Oh god, don’t tell me you talk to the damn things too!’
I slapped my hand across his mouth, watching as his eyes widened and then filled with laughter. ‘There’s thousands of plants here! You’ll hurt their feelings!’ I whispered.
Gently, he removed my hand, keeping hold of it within his own. ‘Hurt their feelings.’
‘Yes,’ I said, with a definitive air.
‘Right.’ He pulled a face. ‘My dad wasn’t growing anything dodgy up there, was he? You didn’t partake in a bit of the old…’ He made a cigarette puffing motion with his free hand and rolled his eyes up.
I batted him on the arm. ‘No, he isn’t and no we did not.’
‘I’m beginning to wonder. My dad talking like I can’t remember about some pretty personal stuff and both of you having conversations with plants. You’ve got to admit, it’s kind of weird.’
‘It’s not weird. Talking is good.’
‘You’re right.’ I didn’t mean that. Poor choice of words. And yes, it is good. And I’m not sure either of us will ever be able to thank you enough.’
‘Oh shush,’ I said, looking away. ‘I didn’t do anything.’
He caught my chin and I turned back to face him. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘You did. Whether you intended to or not. Later, Dad said he was kind of surprised to find himself chattering away to you. I told him I could totally relate. That you have a way about you that makes everyone just spill the beans.’
We sat in silence for a few moments, just absorbing the peace and beauty of the surroundings.
‘My bum’s gone to sleep,’ I said, eventually.
‘I’m pretty sure I can help with that, if you need assistance.’
‘I most certainly don’t need assistance, thank you very much!’ I laughed as I stood and jiggled about for a few moments, trying to wake things up.
Seb pushed himself up and once more gained the height advantage. At our feet, the dogs stretched and Seb took the leads from me so that he could walk them over to the base of the tree for them to tinkle. When he returned, I’d stopped jiggling and everything was more or less back to normal.
‘Better?’ he asked, holding out his arm for me to take again, both the leads hanging loosely over his other wrist, with Scoobs and Humphrey waiting patiently.
‘Much.’
‘Shame,’ he winked and we moved off, my phone ringing just as we did.
‘Hi, Mum,’ I answered.
‘Hello, love? You two all right?’
‘Yes, thanks. Where are you?’
‘We’re over in one of the refreshment tents, near the centre of the show, and we just wondered if you wanted to join us? No pressure,’ she added, casually.
I grinned and gave Seb a little eye roll. ‘Want to go and meet the parentals for a coffee?’
‘And cake! Tell him there’s cake. Lots of it!’ I heard Seb’s dad add, laughter in his voice, and felt a rush of happiness warm my veins.
‘Apparently there’s cake, your dad says.’
‘Then we should definitely do that.’
‘We’re on our way.’
‘Lovely. There’s a stall to the left of it selling copper ornaments, including a huge giraffe. It’s hard to miss. We’ll save you some seats.’
‘OK, see you in a minute.’ I disconnected and stuck the phone back in my pocket. ‘It sounds like your dad is having a good time. I hope so anyway.’
‘He will be.’
We walked on.
‘There’s something else I need to say.’ Seb’s voice was soft.
I looked up.
‘I don’t ever want to go another week without talking to you.’
I rested my head on his arm as we walked along, the gesture and closeness hopefully conveying my feelings more than any words could. ‘It was kind of weird.’ I said after a few moments.
He stopped and I pinged gently back against him. ‘It was more than weird for me. It was… awful. Empty.’
‘You knew where I was,’ I said, quietly. ‘And it was you that didn’t show up to our normal Skype meeting on Monday. When that happened, I just guessed you were still angry and didn’t want to talk to me.’
‘I should have messaged you to explain about that. After everything with Jamie and Dad, I was kind of exhausted and they didn’t want me to drive home. I’m not sure I could have done, to be honest. We went back to the house and talked some more and I ended up staying over. I guess it took it out of me even more than I thought as when I woke up the next morning it was nearly 11 a.m. and I hadn’t heard a thing. When there’s two small children in the house, that’s saying something.’
‘That’s true.’
‘Like I said, I should have just rung you then and there, but once I replayed my actions of the day before, I kept faltering, knowing I’d acted like a complete dick and just couldn’t think why you’d even want to hear from me. So, I convinced myself it would be better for me to leave it a bit, let things settle.’
‘I can understand, but, from where I stood, it just felt like you didn’t want to talk to me.’
He placed his free hand gently on my other arm and looked at me, intently, honestly. I could see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes. ‘I don’t think there’s ever been a point since we met that I haven’t wanted to talk to you, as probably evidenced by the fact I kept you up talking until about 2 a.m. when you came to stay.’
&n
bsp; ‘It was fun though.’
He grinned and my treacherous tummy did a couple of flips and flops. ‘It was. But, seriously, I mean it. I guess I’ve always known it, but this week has proved something to me.’ He was close now, one hand at my waist, the other gently pushing an overlong chunk of fringe from my temple. ‘I cannot ever imagine a time when I would ever not want to talk to you, see you.’ He moved again, his face close to mine. ‘Be with you.’
‘Seb…’
He stepped back as my phone rang.
I let it ring off, wanting him back, wanting that closeness, knowing those lips had been about to press mine, that body, hard with muscle, moving closer to mine. Admittedly, the middle of a plant show hadn’t been where my fantasies had ever taken place. But he was bloody gorgeous and, although last year had been full of disappointments on the dating front, I wasn’t quite on the verge of taking a vow of celibacy just yet. And…
OK, I was reading this right, wasn’t I? I glanced up. He smiled at me in a way that could melt chocolate and I gave it right back. Yep. I was right. I’d said no once before, but I was suddenly thankful Seb had a streak of persistence. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one.
‘Yes, Mum!’ I answered as the phone began to ring again. ‘We’re coming.’ I had a bone to pick with my mum later.
Seb was still close to me, but amusement now replaced the heat that had filled his eyes moments before. ‘I’m guessing we need to get a shifty on.’
‘I think so.’
‘OK, one more thing though.’
‘Yes?’ I asked, looking back up at him, feeling sparks shoot throughout my body. Now I’d let those floodgates open, I wasn’t sure there was much I could do to hold them back.
Seb took my hand, enclosing it within his own. ‘Would you do me the honour of coming to the gala? I know you said no before, and that you’re busy, but if there’s any chance of you being able to rearrange the—’
‘I’m not busy.’
He smirked. ‘Lottie Wentworth. Did you fib?’
‘Yes. Because you were being an arsehole. That means it’s all right for me to fib.’
‘Fair enough. And so, where do we stand on that answer now?’
‘I just told you I’m not busy,’ I said, looking up through my lashes.
His answer was a broad smile as he tightened his hold on my hand and led the four of us towards the refreshment tent. Sneaking another glance at the deliciously hot man beside me, a long, cool drink might not be such a bad idea.
34
The last couple of weeks had passed in a blur as I tried to keep up with my regular clients, provide extra assistance for the start-up as they teetered on the cusp of something amazing, plus help the charity get every last little thing into place in order for this gala to be as successful as we all hoped it would.
Seb and I hadn’t really had a chance to catch up properly on much outside of the gala, let alone get together to see what the next step might be following our moment at the show. But now it was here and, although we’d taken a chance on an open-air venue, it had been worth it. The warmth of the early summer day had become a balmy summer evening, and somewhere beyond the mass of light pollution was a plethora of twinkling stars, pinned on a twilight blue sky.
Harry and Jess had booked tickets for the event and kindly also provided both Seb and I with a room each at a local luxury hotel at a much-discounted corporate rate.
With a bit of luck, you’ll only be using one of the rooms.
Jess followed this with a winky face when she messaged me the details from Harry.
I sent her a rolly eyes one back, which she thought hilarious and swapped it for an aubergine. I didn’t have an answer for that.
I’d originally planned to meet Seb early, but a last minute crisis with another of my clients before a big meeting meant I’d had to catcha later train, arranging instead to meet Seb, as well as Jess and Harry, at the actual event.
‘I don’t have a ticket!’ I flapped slightly when I called Seb to tell him I had to change our plans. I’d gone over the security arrangements with Seb myself. Obviously he had plenty of contacts in that area, so I wasn’t worried, but he’d been keen to ensure I was up to date on every aspect, in case I needed anything.
‘You don’t need one.’ Calm as ever in comparison, I could hear his smile down the phone.
‘I do! We made that a big point. That tickets must be presented!’
‘Lottie. You’re effectively part of the charity. Your name is on the list. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry.’
‘Oh. Oh, it is?’
‘Of course.’
‘Oh. Right. Good. That’s good then.’
‘You OK?’
‘Am I OK going to the biggest social event I’ve ever been to in my life, and not knowing hardly anyone? Yep. Fine. Dandy. Perfectamundo.’
‘Now you’re beginning to worry me. Is that even a word?’
‘Of course. No, I’m fine. Honest.’
‘Just let me know as soon as you get there and I’ll come and meet you anyway, OK?’
‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘I want to.’
‘OK. But I mean if you get caught up talking to someone—’
‘Then I’ll have to make my excuses and tell them there’s a very hot date waiting for me. Believe me. They’ll understand.’
I felt my cheeks colour with pleasure a little at his words. ‘Not if it’s one of the women who was planning on bidding on that date with you.’ I said, laughing.
I heard the sigh of relief he let out. ‘Thank god for Harry and his generosity. To be honest, I think an all-expenses-paid luxury weekend at his Paris apartment is going to raise us a lot more money than pizza with some old soldier.’
‘You’re not old. And anyway, I know which I’d rather have.’
‘Paris?’
‘Obviously.’
He laughed, the sound rippling through me and twisting into my stomach to mix with the excitement and nerves already lodged there.
‘Right. I’d better go. I’ll call you when I get there.’
* * *
‘If you just want to wait here, Miss Wentworth, Mr Marshall will be with you shortly.’
‘Thanks,’ I said and grabbed the skirt of my dress, making sure I didn’t end up base over apex before the night had even started. Unlike Jess, I wasn’t used to such high heels, although I did love them. They were accessorising a full length ball gown – another new experience for me and also assisted by Jess who’d basically gone and chosen it for me from a very swanky boutique. She would have even tried it on, had we been similar sizes, but I’d at least managed to do that bit, and she’d then worked her magic in getting the small alterations needed completed in time for the gala. The end result was definitely a different look for someone who spent approximately 70 per cent of her life in pyjamas. I’d snapped a pic at home for Mum and sent it to her. She’d then called me, crying, to say how beautiful I looked and I’d had to cut the call short before she set me off and ruined the make-up I’d paid a fortune to have done in between trying to get everything else done today.
A shrill scream pierced the air and two of the security guards turned, bodies tensed. Slightly embarrassed, I gave them a little wave, pointed to Jess, made a little ‘what can you do’ face and got swept into Jess’ arms.
‘Oh my god!!!!’ she screamed. I could practically see all the exclamation marks dancing around our heads. ‘You look bloody amazing!’
‘Umm, thanks. You look gorgeous, of course. As always!’ I turned her round and admired the tiny sparkling Swarvoski crystals in the back of her hair as they sent darts of light out like little fireflies each time she moved. ‘Your hair looks beautiful.’
‘Do you like it?’ she swished a bit more. ‘I’m sort of trying it out for the wedding. I was thinking if I had this like under the veil, then I…’ She drifted off when she realised my attention had also drifted off.
Harry stepped forward, said hello and
kissed me on the cheek and I think said something about how lovely I looked, which I nodded at, trying to focus and not be entirely rude despite the fact I was no longer really listening.
‘We’ll catch up with you in a bit,’ he said, taking Jess’ hand and leading her away. She turned and widened her eyes, as she gestured with her head before blowing me a kiss with a huge grin on her face.
* * *
Seb stepped forward and I tried to remember the last time I had ever seen someone look this good. In full black tie with a perfectly fitted suit – this was definitely not an off-the-peg job – he looked better than even I could have imagined, which was saying something. I surreptitiously checked that my jaw hadn’t physically dropped as much as it had mentally. This was the first time I’d seen Seb in anything other than casual clothes and, well, let’s just say he definitely made it work. Judging by some of the looks I now saw being directed his way, I wasn’t the only one to think so. Right, so now I just needed to be as calm and smooth and classy as those other women.
‘Is that real?’ I asked, poking at his bow tie.
Shit. Did I really just say that? Lottie! What happened to calm, smooth and classy?
Seb’s laugh rang out as he hugged me to him. Standing back, he took my hands, his smile still wide. ‘You look breathtaking.’
I opened my mouth. Closed it, thought about trying again and gave up.
He frowned a moment. ‘Everything OK?’
I nodded this time. It was easier. ‘I’ve just never been called breathtaking before. It sounds like something…’ I reached up and touched my hair, suddenly nervous, ‘out of a fairy story.’
Seb caught my hand back. ‘Right now, you look like something out of a fairy story.’
‘So long as it’s not the evil queen, I guess we’re good.’
Oh, for the love of god, Lottie, shut up.
Seb grinned. ‘Most definitely not the evil queen. I was kind of going for the beautiful princess thing, but I’m sensing it’s not gone as smoothly as I’d hoped for.’
My Year of Saying No Page 28