Weed

by Peter Ponzo

  Chapter 22

  Now when Ah gits goin they ain't no stoppin' me. Like a hound on a bear.

  We got us four bodies, covered in thet thar skin: Oerschott, Hansen, Felman and McIvar. Any connection?

  Ah looks at mah notes:

 

  Hans von Oerschott:

  owns some medical factory, drugs and stuff, apartment in the poshest part o' the city, body lifted from the morgue. No clues as to who did it.

  Betty Hansen:

  legal secretary for Cormorant, Higgins, Shaw and Mason. Lives in Burlington. Body found on Hanover Beach. Not much of that skin. Like it's just starting to grow on her.

  Gary Felman:

  contractor, builds factories or something. Lives in Whitby. Body found in the Humber River. Got the affliction but not much fuzzy skin.

  Roy McIvar:

  computer whiz, writes software, has a shop on Spadina. Lives right there, top of the shop. Body found in an alley. Got the affliction. Lots of that skin.

  Flanagan Motel:

  Hansen and Felman checked in as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Something goin on there? Both bodies found naked, not far from the motel. Clothes still in unit 17 of the Flanagan. Some fuzzy skin still in the bathroom. Forensic can't figure the skin, but it sure ain't theirs. Don't belong to Hansen. Don't belong to Felman. That's for sure. And fingerprints. Lots in the motel room, belonging to Hansen and Felman. And hair which forensic can't figure.

  Okay, who's the skin belong to? The fuzzy stuff in the bathroom. And the hair?

  Jock Kindrick owns the motel, says they clean up after every guest. No way they coulda bin skin in the bathroom before Hansen and Felman checked in. So? Musta bin put there after they was killed. By the killer, mebbe. The killer has this affliction, kills Hansen and Felman, they git it.

  Who's got this affliction? These four, fer sure. Mebbe one is the killer, kills the other three, dies hisself.

  What's the reason fer killin Ms. Hansen, a secretary? Mebbe she knows somethin'. Somethin' going on at Cormorant, Higgins, Shaw and Mason?

  Why Felman or McIvar?

  What's the connection?

  The door bangs open and Fuzz Clements barges into mah office. He's madder'n a penned bull in a field o' cows.

  "What the hell is going on, Boone?" Chief usually calls me 'William'. When he says 'Boone' Ah know he's real mad. "The Mayor's all over my back. He says McIvar was a friend of his. Like that makes it diff'runt." Fuzz plops into a chair. "So? What's the scoop? What've you got?"

  Ah stays put in mah chair.

  "Nothin' much, Chief," Ah says. "Hansen and Felman knew each other, was makin' out in the Flanagan. Thet there skin was in the bathroom of the motel room, but it ain't theirs, yuh know."

  "Who had the room before them?" he asks.

  "It don't make no difference," Ah says. "Kindrick says they woulda cleaned up after any previous guest and—"

  "Who the fuck is Kindrick?"

  "Mr. Jock Kindrick, owns the Flanagan Motel, says the fuzzy stuff woulda got into the bathroom after Hansen and Felman checked in. They clean after any previous guest—"

  "You mean you don't know who was there before Hansen and whats-his-name?"

  "Felman."

  "Find out!" And he jumps up, gits outta mah office, mad.

  So Ah drives over to Hanover Beach and talks to Kindrick at the Flanagan.

  "Mah name is Willum Boone," Ah says.

  "Yeah, I know. You wuz here last week," Mr. Kindrick says, chewin' on a cigar that ain't lit and too short to be lit.

  "Ah'd like to know who was in unit 17 jest afore—" Ah look at mah notebook, "- Ms. Betty Hansen and Mr. Gary Felman checked in."

  "You mean Mr. and Missus Smith?" He snickers, drags out his book, flippin' through till he finds the day. "Yeah, yeah--Oerschott," he says.

  Now Ah'm taken aback a mite, but don't say nothin'.

  "That it?" he says, closin' the book.

  "Mr. Hans von Oerschott?" Ah ask.

  "Yeah, the bastard. He wuz gonna buy this place, then he gets hisself killt."

  "And fer how long did he stay?"

  "Two days."

  "Sure?"

  "Yeah."

  "Without lookin' in yer book?"

  "Like I says, Oerschott was gonna buy this joint. How could I forget? He wanted to look at the books. Bastard. Left without paying his bill."

  "In a hurry, Ah reckon."

  "Yeah, big hurry. Leaves the bloody door open. Checks in, says he'll pay when he leaves, takes off without payin', leaves the bloody door open then ups and gets hisself killt."

  Ah was headin' back to the office when Ah see thet red Porsche, top down, thet Fleetsmith gal at the wheel, so Ah head after her. Don't know why, jest a feelin' thet somethin's up.

  She pulls past the gate at Oerschott Medicals, heads fer the parkin' lot. Ah follows. She stops, brakes squealin' like a stuck pig. Ah pulls 'longside and rolls down the winda.

  "Howdy ma'am," Ah says, nonchalant.

  Her face lights up like the prairie sun.

  "Texas!" she says. "How nice." She gets outta her car and heads fer mah car.

  "Willum Boone, ma'am, at yer service," Ah says.

  She leans into mah winda, looks down at mah jeans, whispers, "Is everything really bigger down there ... in Texas?"

  "Beg pardon, ma'am?"

  She jest grins, turns about, starts walkin' fast to the buildin'. Ah jump out and follow.

  "Ms. Fleetsmith! Could Ah have a word with y'all?"

  She stops, gazes back over her shoulder and waits.

  She looks at mah crotch. "What's up, cowboy?" she says. Lord! This is one dandy lady.

  "Well, ma'am ..." and Ah fergit what Ah want to ask. Fact is, Ah ain't got nothin' to ask. "Well, ma'am ... could we go inside? It's sorta personal." Why'd Ah say thet? So she jogs, headin' fer a side door, so Ah jogs after her, thinkin' fast what Ah'm gonna say. When we git inside she keeps right on walkin', Ah follow, she pulls out a wad o' keys, opens a door, we both go in to a room full o' gadgets, glass whatzits and computin' machines. They's a big sign stuck to the side of a computin' machine, in some foreign language:

  Alles lookenpeepers. Das computenmachine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mitten grabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spittzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren, keepen hands in das pockets, relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.

  "Welcome to my lab," the lady says. "Have a seat." She waves to a chair, Ah sits, she slides up onto the bench, her dress high, knees stickin' out like a barefaced heifer. "What's on your mind, cowboy," she says. "Wanna play games?" She pulls her dress higher.

  "Well, ma'am ..." Ah says, tryin' to think of somethin' to say, "... Ah jest come from Flanagan's Motel, yuh know. It seems Mr. von Oerschott stayed there, night before Ms. Betty Hansen and Mr. Gary Felman checked in."

  "You're leaving me behind, cowboy. Hansen? Felman?"

  "Sorry, ma'am. They's two of the bodies we found, covered in yer Dermafix."

  "You found four bodies, right? Hans was one and you're saying that these are two of the others?"

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "Hmm." She waits and Ah jest sit there. "So?"

  "Ma'am?"

  "So did you want to ask me something, or are you content to stare up my skirt?"

  Ah jumps to mah feet.

  "Ma'am ... aah ... have y'all ever ... did y'all ever ..."

  "Yes, Billy Boy, many times," she says, grinnin'. Then she slides off'n the bench, her dress slides up, she ain't wearin no panties, she leans ag'in me, Ah cain't think—

  "... did y'all ever know that von Oerschott wanted to buy thet thar motel?" Ah whisper.

  A question at last. Ah was feelin' a mite better. The lady hoists herself onto the bench ag'in.

  "No, but that's to be expected. Hans was always buying properties, but I paid little attention to his fi
nancial dealings."

  "Did y'all know thet he stayed in the very same room where Hansen and Felman stayed?" Ah was warmin' to mah task.

  "Of course not."

  "And did y'all know that Mr. Roy McIvar is a computer whiz?"

  She slides down from the bench, her hands holdin' her dress down.

  "Listen, Boony Boy," she says, her voice gettin' loud, "I don't know who the shit you're talking about and I couldn't care less. Now, if that's the end of your questions, I'd like to get to work."

  "One last question, ma'am," Ah says, feelin thet was the thing to say but not knowin' what thet last question was. She waits.

  "Well?"

  "Well, ma'am," Ah says slowly, "did y'all know ... did y'all know they was big fingerprints in the motel room?" The last question. A trap. Did she know somethin'?

  "Big finger prints? What the shit are big fingerprints?"

  "Big, like a gorilla, yuh know," Ah says.

  Suddenly she leans back ag'in the bench, her face white. She does know somethin'. Don't rein in, keep whippin' the hoss, keep kickin' them spurs, she's gonna spill ...

  "Gorilla?" she says, her voice weak.

  Thet's all. She don't say nothin' more, jest looks kinda stunned. Ah wait awhile. Mebbe Ah said too much. Time to head out. Leave her stacked ag'in the bench, confused. So Ah smile, turn to the door and walk slowly without lookin' back. When Ah gits to the door I turn, slow, and say: "One day, ma'am, Ah'm gonna take y'all to bed, yuh know."

  When Ah git back to the office, Ah can't remember a thing Ah said to the li’l lady. Ah jest remembers her legs, climbin' up thet skirt, up, up—glory be—till Ah couldn't see no more.