When Kennedy leaned back in her seat, her gaze was entirely too watchful, her tone too casual. “So tell me, what is it you like about acting?”
Uh oh. “You’re not going into work mode on me, are you?”
Her quick flash of a smile told him he’d hit the nail on the head. She shrugged, unrepentant. “Helping people find a good fit in life is what gets me out of bed in the morning,” she said. “It’s why I love what I do and why I made a career out of it.” Her smile spread and she laughed softly. “So yeah, I guess I am going all work mode on you. But humor me, you might find that I’m pretty good at what I do.”
She gave her another half shrug. Kat had wanted to have this same conversation with him but he’d pushed back. Maybe he just hadn’t been ready to talk about it when she’d tried to have the ‘what color is your parachute?’ conversation. Or maybe it had just seemed too weird to be talking about it with his oldest friend. But here, now… what the heck?
He looked up to the ceiling, watching the overhead fan circle as he thought about her question. What did he like about acting? “Despite what you may think, it’s not about the fans and the daytime Emmys. It’s about losing myself in something and helping other people to lose themselves too.”
He dropped his gaze and met Kennedy’s straightforward stare. He let out a small sigh. “You probably don’t need escapism like the rest of the world, but take my word for it that there are some people out there who are disheartened by what’s going on in the world, or overwhelmed by the stress of their daily life. They need an escape and I like that I can help provide that.”
He thought she was going to laugh, but instead her brow furrowed. “I need escapes too. I understand the concept.”
A laugh bubbled up in his chest at her defensive tone. One would have thought he’d just accused her not paying her taxes. “I’m sure you do.”
“I do.” She opened her mouth but then seemed to change her mind and he was left wondering what she’d been about to say.
That was when it occurred to him. He’d been an escape for her. That night. That kiss. It had been a guilty pleasure, an escape from her real world. A funny story to tell her friends about how she’d invited a hot stranger into her cab and kissed him before kicking him out.
He supposed he shouldn’t be offended… but that didn’t stop his gut from churning at the thought.
Which was ludicrous because she’d been a diversion for him as well. That was all it was meant to be. He was still waiting for the one, but Kennedy had been there. That was all there was to it. It wasn’t her fault he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. It definitely wasn’t her fault that he’d found himself reading too much into it. Finding meaning in the intense chemistry and weird hopes stirring in the face of the unexpected connection.
Reading too much into things was kind of his thing. Kat and Yvette teased him mercilessly for his ability to get carried away early on in a relationship. He may or may not have thought he’d found the one multiple times during a first date. It typically wasn’t until date two or three that his eyes were opened to the truth about the woman he was seeing.
Though, to be fair, he’d never gotten carried away on the first night meeting someone. Like every other time his eyes were opened, the truth slapped him across the face. And the fact that she was just as cynical about their kiss as he now was made it feel like a double slap for some reason. No, a punch. Boom, boom. Two quick punches to the gut.
He didn’t realize he’d been scowling until she broke into his thoughts. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
Her expression changed to match his and he gave a grudging smile at her over the top frown. But his pride was still stinging… and maybe something else. He wasn’t at ease and his normal laid back, easy charm was nowhere to be found. “I don’t know,” he said, with more than a little huffiness. “I guess I’m just waiting for you to mock me for being an actor again.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh my gosh, I never mocked you for being an actor.”
“You admitted you hate actors,” he said. Yeah, he was picking a fight. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“I just meant that I don’t date actors,” she said, her tone getting sharper.
“Good,” he said. “Because I don’t date judgy judgertons.” He’d said it with a haughty air and when her lips started to twitch in response, it was almost impossible not to join her.
“Judgy judgertons?” she repeated.
He stifled a laugh with his drink. “It’s a real term.”
“Uh huh.” She sounded unconvinced but the tension between them eased as they both laughed at him.
“Look it up,” he continued.
She rolled her eyes again but this time she was smiling. “I’ll take your word for it. But point taken.” She cleared her throat and met his gaze. “I guess I do have a tendency to be a bit… judgy.”
He grinned. He couldn’t help it. He had a feeling he’d just witnessed a miracle.
Kennedy Farlow had just admitted to being judgy.
Somehow life felt complete.
The fact that she instantly went back to being defensive made it that much more entertaining.
“You made your point about the dedication involved in acting and you’re right that maybe I’m too quick to jump to assumptions based on livelihood. However…” Her ‘however’ was loud and vehement. “Livelihood does reflect a person—their values, their skills, their priorities, and I think even you’d agree that actors are not terribly practical by nature. You said it yourself, it’s a tough field so to get up each day thinking you’re going to be the outlier who makes it big takes the personality of a dreamer, not a practical person.”
He blinked at her stupidly. He couldn’t argue with that, though he was fairly certain she’d just put him in his place. Or in his category, rather. He was once again relegated to the undateable zone.
Which was fine, because he’d meant what he’d said about not dating judgy women, which she admittedly was. His dream woman? She was unbelievably accepting. Encouraging, even. “Fine,” he said. “So you don’t want to date me. I get it.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“I’ll have you know you’re not my type either,” he continued. Crap. Why did he have to get the last word in? Now he felt like a petty jerk. He was about to drop the conversation, or change it at least, when Yvette’s teasing voice next to him interrupted their conversation.
“Oh no,” she fake groaned. “He’s not talking about his ideal woman again, is he?”
Kennedy’s gaze turned to him. He considered elbowing Yvette to keep her quiet or maybe just running away to get away from Kennedy’s all-seeing stare. But before he could do either, the conversation got away from him.
“His ideal woman?” Kennedy repeated, using the same silly tone Yvette had used. It was a tone that openly mocked the idea of an ideal woman.
In his defense, he didn’t believe in a theoretical ideal woman, either. But he did believe that there was a woman out there for him. His one true love. And since Yvette and Kat had each found her one true love, it boggled his mind that they still acted like it was an impossibility.
“Oh yes,” Yvette said. “She’s amazing.”
Kat rolled her eyes and leaned in, clearly eager to add her jokes to the comedy show. “She’s also mythical.” To Kennedy she said, “Think of a unicorn, then imagine a leprechaun. Caleb’s dream woman lives somewhere between the two of them on the mythical charts.”
Kennedy gave a snort of laughter as Caleb leaned back and pretended not to care that his best friends were openly mocking him and his dream woman in front of Kennedy.
Kennedy—the woman who’d said several times now that she would never date him. Not that it mattered, he supposed, but a man still had his pride.
But it was for the best. She was his supervisor, and they worked together, and she hated actors, and she irritated the heck out of him, an
d he’d actually lost his temper for a second there, and—
And his list was cut short as he heard Kat and Yvette taking turns listing off the dream woman assets.
“Funny, but not sarcastic,” Kat said.
“Nurturing and sweet,” Yvette continued.
“Kind to animals,” Kat said.
By this point Kennedy was outright laughing.
He looked to Bryce and Darren but they were talking to one another and apparently oblivious to the fact that their girlfriends were sabotaging his date.
Not that this was a date.
It wasn’t.
But if it was…
If it was it would have been over before it began. Because in a sense they were right. Those were all attributes he’d like in his ideal mate, and not a single one of them applied to Kennedy.
Well, maybe she was nice to animals. He didn’t know. All he knew was she wasn’t terribly nice to people, and that was number one on his must-have list.
And yes, he did have a list. There was nothing wrong with that. No one ever got what they wanted from life without having a vision of it first. And he had a vision. Now the universe just had to get on board and send her his way.
The conversation eventually, mercifully switched to something else. The new, safe mundane topic revolved around the latest movies that were playing. And while he had to fight the urge to remind a surprisingly passionate fangirl named Kennedy that the movie she was so psyched to see did, in fact, require actors—he resisted.
The tension was gone and she was having fun, and surprisingly so was he. Hours passed and drinks were drunk and by the time they were getting ready to leave, he found that he didn’t want to go home.
Not yet.
He didn’t want to see the night end. He definitely didn’t want things to go back to their new normal in the office on Monday morning. He wanted… Well, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. But he didn’t want to let this night go.
As he helped her into her winter jacket, he was forced to face the truth.
Maybe there was no hope for the two of them, and obviously she was not the girl of his dreams. But like it or not, he was attracted to Kennedy. And his brain, he could admit, was a little smitten with her brain.
He had a crush, plain and simple. Maybe a bit of an infatuation.
This was the best explanation he could come up with for why he lingered. He said goodbye to Kat and Bryce, then Yvette and Darren, as he slowly reached for his jacket. Kennedy was the first to make a move for the door. Though, he noted with interest, she didn’t look like she was in a rush. Maybe she’d been enjoying the conversation as much as he had been.
And maybe, just maybe, she was hoping this night wouldn’t end either.
Not without another kiss.
His heart leapt at the thought and his body went into overdrive. Maybe it was the drinks talking, but it suddenly seemed ludicrous that they weren’t kissing on a regular basis. Like, every day.
Like, right now.
Why weren’t they?
Because she’s not the one. And he was a romantic who didn’t believe in hooking up with random women. Kissing a stranger in a cab had been a fluke. A Valentine’s Day debacle. A mistake.
A mistake that had led to the best kiss of his life.
Hard to call that a mistake, actually. And if they did it again, would that qualify as a mistake? His brain and his heart were suspiciously silent. But it might be a moot point, because she’d clearly thought that last time was a mistake and that was before they’d known that she was his superior.
So yeah, this would definitely be a mistake.
It wasn’t until they were out on the sidewalk that Kennedy broke the odd new silence between them. “So,” she said. “You waiting on a cab too?”
He glanced over and caught her wicked smile—the one he hadn’t seen since that night. His brain made a popping sound before fizzling out completely. It was official. His brain was no longer running this show. That smile had ruined him for logic and reason.
“I’d be willing to share a cab,” he said in his best Dr. Brandon Reeves’ voice.
She laughed softly. “Would you now?”
He nodded. “It’s environmentally responsible.”
“Mmhmm.” She was studying him openly and he held himself still, afraid that the wrong move would ruin everything.
The fact that this was most likely a mistake suddenly didn’t seem to matter. At all. The only thing that mattered was that he be allowed to taste those lips again, touch that skin, feel that glorious hair.
Crap. Nothing had ever mattered more.
It was a sickness, an infatuation, a disease, an addiction. Whatever it was, it was all consuming. And the only thing keeping him from this new necessity in his life was whatever internal debate was clearly going on in that clever mind of hers.
Her next words caught him by surprise. “So, you have a dream woman, huh?”
He caught himself before he could flinch. He didn’t want to think about the future Mrs. Jennings. Not now when he was highly intent on kissing this woman.
This woman who was so not his dream woman.
He didn’t trust himself to talk so he murmured his assent. Did he have a dream woman? Yes. Was this woman her? No. But was she the woman he needed tonight? There could be no doubt.
“From what your friends said, it sounds like I have very little in common with this magical, mythical woman of yours,” she said.
He smiled at her teasing tone but kept quiet. There was really no good way to answer that, especially not if he stood a chance of kissing her again.
And right now, experiencing another kiss with this woman seemed far more important than… Well, anything. She was here, and she was real, and she was utterly undeniable.
She gave him a sassy look as her head tilted to the side and her lips curved up. “You know, you’re not my dream man either.”
He let out a short laugh even though the words were surprisingly painful to hear. He wasn’t that much of a conceited jerk to think that he was irresistible. He knew he wasn’t every woman’s cup of tea.
But he selfishly wanted to be this woman’s dream guy. What would it feel like to be the one who made this woman open up? The one who made her smile and laugh and drop that cold, reserved exterior that she wore like a shell?
He shook off that thought, because really—how incredibly selfish. You’re not the one for me, but I want to be the one for you? No, he wasn’t that selfish. He chose not to be. So he forced a smile. “Great. Good.”
Her smile was mocking. “Awesome.”
“Glad we got that squared away,” he said. His gaze never left hers and despite the teasing, there was something going on there. Something unspoken. Something that filled the space between them and made the atmosphere feel heavy and dense.
Ah heck, this was attraction. It was physical and undeniable and it resonated in the air around them like a force field.
They stood on the brink. They could laugh it off and walk away, go back to being supervisor and intern on Monday morning. Or, they could act.
He could act.
A nervous churning in his gut only heightened his desire, it added an element of suspense and anticipation. A terrifying thrill at the possibility of being rejected, of ruining this tentative truce they seemed to have forged, or maybe even a new understanding they’d discovered.
If they walked away now they might be able to be friends. Or friendly work acquaintances, at least.
If they continued… Well, if he continued they’d be entering into new, unchartered territory.
She licked her lips and the decision was made, and not by his brain. Forget the consequence. Screw the long-term ramifications. He needed to kiss her, just one more time.
“It’s too bad, really,” he said, taking a step closer to where she stood frozen on the sidewalk.
“Oh yeah?” Her voice was breathier than he’d ever heard it. Here she was again. The woman so few got to see. His siren i
n a pantsuit.
He nodded. “Someone told me the chemistry between us was good.” He grinned. “Great, even.”
Her eyes were smoldering, her lips parting in invitation. “Is that right?”
He nodded again, watching her closely, hoping desperately that she wanted this kiss as badly as he did.
After a moment she tilted her head to the side and looked up at him. “What does that have to do with anything?”
He caught the teasing glint in her eyes and he narrowed his gaze. “Excuse me?”
She shrugged, clearly feigning nonchalance. “Just because we’ve ruled one another out for long term possibilities doesn’t negate the fact that we shared a great kiss.”
Did that mean… Was she saying…?
“I mean, great chemistry is great chemistry,” she continued. “It doesn’t necessarily have to occur within a relationship.”
He stared at her for a moment. “You are so sexy when you talk logic.”
Her head fell back as she let out a soft laugh. Her smile made him want to reach out and let her hair down. He ached to see her with her hair down again. Literally and figuratively.
Never dropping her eyes, she lifted a hand to hail a cab. When a yellow taxi pulled up beside them she headed toward the back door. Reaching for the handle, she turned back to face him. “So, what do you say? You want to share a cab?”
He didn’t hesitate. In fact, he nearly stumbled over his feet to scramble in behind her. As soon as the door was shut, he reached for her. There was no time to lose.
Not if he didn’t want to end up in Brooklyn.
Nine
This was such a mistake. It was the worst decision she could have ever made. He was everything she didn’t want in a man and she clearly wasn’t what he wanted either.
But here he was. In the dark backseat of the cab…and he was going to kiss her.
Mistake!
But when he leaned in slowly, she didn’t back away. Logically she knew she should. Somewhere in the back of her brain, a voice was telling her this was wrong.
It couldn’t go anywhere. It would only end in disaster.
But as he reached a hand out and pulled the hairpins out of her bun, she just stared. At his lips, which were quirked up in a sexy little grin of triumph that she should really, truly hate.
Once Upon an Ice Queen (Instalove in the City Book 3) Page 8