But she didn’t.
At his eyes, which were such a ridiculous shade of blue they should annoy her with their beauty. No guy should have eyes that pretty. But the glint of intent in them made her giddy.
She felt the tight pull of her bun loosen and then his hands were in her hair, tugging her locks out of their fastenings as his lips finally met hers in a kiss that was bruising in its intensity.
This. Home. Finally.
Random words were all that was left of her frazzled brain as his lips moved over hers in a kiss that felt endless and perfect. They came together like they’d shared countless kisses. Like their lips knew exactly what to do.
There was no awkward collisions or adjustment periods as they figured one another out. They just…fit.
For the twenty-block span of this kiss, it didn’t matter why they fit so well, just that they did. And it didn’t matter that she wasn’t his dream girl, because he wasn’t her Mr. Right, either.
She’d already found her Mr. Right. Caleb was just her Mr. Right Now.
“What are you grinning about?” he asked, his breathing ragged as he nibbled on her earlobe.
Was she grinning? Yeah. She was. She totally was. Possibly because she felt like the cat that ate the canary. This was what she’d wanted all week. She’d been fighting it because of their jobs and because… well, because Caleb was Caleb. So not her type. Not a bad guy, but definitely not long-term material.
As if him being an actor wasn’t bad enough, he also had no idea what he wanted out of life.
Though apparently he knew exactly what he wanted out of a woman, and his dream woman bore no resemblance to her. Though his friends surely hadn’t listed all of this dream woman’s many and myriad exemplary traits, she had to assume that practical and solid were not high on that list, and those were probably the adjectives most used to describe her, followed by straightforward, pragmatic, and sarcastic. The latter would knock a woman out of the running right away, according to Kat.
Not that it mattered. She wasn’t competing. She just wanted this. She wanted more of this. And she could have it.
Her grin spread as a flare of triumph shot through her. Why fight this? Sure, it would end in time, but for now she was single and so was he. No one had to get hurt. Not if they were on the same page.
Not if they were smart.
Caleb gave a sad little sigh that had her stifling a laugh as he leaned forward to tell the driver they’d reached his stop.
Smart. That was the key.
Now that his lips weren’t on hers, her mind was once again whirring. The gears turning as she watched him fish out some money from his wallet.
“I got it,” she said.
He flashed her a quick smile. “What, you think a lowly intern can’t afford his own cab ride?”
A giggle escaped at his feigned offense. A giggle. A freakin’ giggle. Who even was she right now? She didn’t recognize herself…or that weirdly girlie giggle.
“I insist.” She gave him an over-the-top wink. “Just call me your sugar mama.”
His head tipped back with a laugh that made her insides turn to goo, but he put his money away with a sweet little smile. “Thank you.”
Just like that. No arguments. No weird macho pride. Ugh, her heart was doing something funny. But this was the part of him that she liked best. With that face and his former career, he ought to have been a conceited jerk.
But he wasn’t.
He was humble and gracious and a good worker. A hard worker.
His earlier words about how hard he and his fellow co-stars worked came back and brought with them a niggle of guilt.
Maybe she was a Judgy Judgerton. Silly as the name might be…it fit.
She reached a hand out and placed it over his. She’d just meant to stop him from leaving right away but the innocent contact sent a jolt of electricity up her arm and down her spine.
He tensed, one hand on the car door handle as he turned back to face her.
“I’m sorry.” She just kind of blurted it out with zero context, so it was no wonder his brows drew together in confusion.
“For the kiss?”
Oh crap, he looked so concern, it made her ribcage tighten and her lungs contract. When had any guy ever been so concerned about her? When had Patrick ever shown concern for her feelings? If anything, he just made jokes about how she didn’t have any. How she was made of ice.
“Hey.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “You okay?”
All the air in her lungs left in a whoosh but she managed a nod, forcing all thoughts of Patrick aside for the moment. It wasn’t fair to compare them. Patrick had done nothing wrong. He’d always respected her for her practicality, and vice versa. That hadn’t changed. Nothing had changed.
“I’m fine,” she managed through a forced smile.
He didn’t look convinced but he nodded slowly. “So why are you apologizing then?”
She had to struggle to swallow. “I just…I was thinking how you’re right.”
“I am?” His brows arched high and he looked so absurdly pleased, she couldn’t help another laugh.
A laugh, not a giggle. That was at least a step in the right direction.
“Yeah. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge,” she said.
Understanding dawned in his eyes and they softened. Even in this dim lighting she saw the shift and then his lips curved up in a smile so sweet, so genuine, she looked away before he could see what that smile did to her.
“Okay, well…” He hovered there by the door, making no move to open it.
She turned back and caught a glimpse of his chiseled features in the glow from the streetlamps outside. The dim lighting only exacerbated his hotness, making him look like some sort of black-and-white matinee idol from another era.
“I know we agreed that there’s no long-term future here,” he started slowly.
She forced herself to meet his gaze. She was a lot of things—practical, judgy, and yes, maybe even an ice queen—but she wasn’t a coward. Meeting his gaze steadily, she held her breath.
“But I want to do this again,” he finished.
“Do this,” she repeated. She wasn’t altogether sure if he meant make out in cabs or go out for drinks… At the moment, she wasn’t sure she cared.
“Me too.” It was little more than a whisper, but it was the truth.
He grinned. Oh mercy, he was too hot for life. Far too attractive for her. She didn’t have a rule against dating ridiculously hot guys, but that was most likely because it had never come up. No man this hot had ever shown an interest. She never would have thought it possible, to be honest. But here he was, looking at her with the most deliciously heated look in his eyes.
So just enjoy it already.
Yes. That was the best option.
He leaned over and kissed her lightly. Gently. It was nothing compared to their last two epically passionate kisses and yet it somehow felt even more intimate.
When he pulled back, she couldn’t breathe. Was that normal? No guy she’d ever kissed with had made her incapable of breathing. None of them had ever made her tremble with a look. She clenched her hands in her lap as he moved back toward the door as the driver exhaled loudly—a not-so-subtle reminder that they weren’t alone and they were holding up his schedule.
“Can I see you this weekend?” he asked as he opened the door.
She nodded. Mistake. This was a mistake.
He licked his lips, looking so adorably nervous she forgot to tell him that this was a mistake. “Tomorrow?”
She nodded and his smile grew as he climbed out. He leaned over and stuck his head inside, one of his arms resting on top of the door. “Are you a pastry or bagel kind of woman.”
“Bagel.”
One word. One delicious carbohydrate-filled morning treat. And somehow it sounded momentous.
“Text me your address.” His voice was all low and commanding, his brows low and his gaze determined. So at odds with his boyish exci
tement when she’d told him he was right.
Who was this guy? One minute she was convinced he was a flake, the next he was the best employee she’d ever seen. One minute he was sexy Superman and the next he was a bumbling Clark Kent. The man was a paradox.
And she liked it.
“Goodnight, Kennedy.” He didn’t wait for her response before he shut the door and the driver was off, heading toward Brooklyn.
She sank back in her seat with a sigh. It was a good thing he hadn’t waited for her to reply. She wasn’t currently capable of speech.
Something stirred in her belly. Something foreign and weird. It crept up from her belly to her chest and then into her throat and—she clapped a hand over her mouth right before a silly squeal escaped.
The muffled squeak had the driver arching his brows at her in the rearview mirror and she shook her head at the silent question.
Nothing to see here. I’m fine. Totally fine. Just…giddy.
Oh crap.
What was wrong with her? No guy had ever made her feel light and carefree and yes…giddy.
She’d been absolutely giddy tonight—from giddy excitement of teasing and sparring verbally, to giddy with nervous anticipation as they flirted, to giddy with sensations when he’d finally kissed her.
Mistake.
She shifted so she was sitting up straight, swallowing down any further urges to squeal or shriek or embarrass herself any further than she already had in front of this stranger who was driving the car.
It was time to think. She had to make a plan. Like it or not, some part of her clearly liked this guy. It was an infatuation, plain and simple.
She let out a long, slow exhale in the hopes of calming her racing heart.
In way the timing was actually rather good. She wasn’t currently in a committed relationship, and Caleb was so far from being her ideal partner that he was in no position to break her heart.
She nodded, ignoring the rearview mirror and the questioning looks the driver kept shooting her.
Probably questioning her sanity.
But that was fine because while she might have temporarily lost her mind for a moment there, reason had returned. It was back, and she could fix this.
Like she’d told Caleb earlier, good chemistry didn’t necessarily correlate to a serious relationship. Some people hooked up with people just for fun.
She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She’d never done that before but that didn’t mean she couldn’t. She could have fun.
Right?
She frowned down at her phone. Text me your address.
If she did, he’d come over. Presumably with a bagel. They’d spend time together. On a Saturday. He might even kiss her again.
Her heart thumped wildly.
Okay fine, maybe she hoped that he’d kiss her again. She pursed her lips. Or maybe she’d take the reins next time and kiss him.
See? Plans. She was good with plans.
Not letting herself think about it a second longer, she texted him her address and then shut off her phone so she wouldn’t sit there staring at it like some lovestruck moron for the rest of the night.
There. She’d done it. Tomorrow they’d have their first…date? Was that what this was?
Guilt and fear and excitement and shock and a million other emotions had her covering her face as if that could block it all out.
It didn’t work.
But it was fine, because it was done. This was happening. She was going to date a guy who was so not a long-term prospect.
And she was going to have fun. Casual, easy, lighthearted fun.
Sure, it was new for her, but she was nothing if not an excellent learner. She could handle this.
This might not be smart or logical, and it certainly wasn’t pragmatic, but she was too far gone to care. She’d made her choice and tomorrow morning she’d figure out how to live with it.
How was she going to deal with the ramifications? How would this work, exactly?
Shhh. She hushed the irritatingly rational voice. Tomorrow. She’d figure it all out tomorrow. For now…
A smile spread across her face as she let her mind replay every vivid detail of that epic kiss. For now, she was going to enjoy every second of this casual fling.
It wasn’t until much later as she was falling asleep that her brain clicked into play once more, but even then it was a dim voice that reminded her politely that this was a bad idea.
A very bad idea.
Ten
In the cold light of day, Caleb doubted everything. Everything. He ran a hand through his hair.
He was even doubting his hair. He knocked for a second time and wished there was a mirror out here in the hall so he could double check his hair.
Which was ridiculous. Soap Opera Weekly said his hair was ‘luscious and perfect.’
He let out a loud huff. The sort of sound a boxer might make before the bell was rung. Unfortunately, she chose that moment to open the door so he blew air in her face making her blink.
At least he’d just brushed his teeth. That was the only thing he’d absolutely done right in recent memory.
“Morning,” she said, her smile difficult to gauge.
Was she happy to see him or regretting ever having sent him her address?
“Bagel?” He held up a paper bag along with a take-out coffee cup. “I didn’t know whether you take milk or sugar so I got it black.”
“I take it black,” she said. Her tone was so even, so businesslike, they could have been meeting for the first time in a board room, or getting ready for an interview.
“Right.” His offerings still hovered before him until she snatched the bag out of his hand and reached for the coffee cup.
She stepped aside. “Do you want to come in?” Her hair was pulled back in that tight work bun and her face wore that mask he was beginning to know so well. Was it weird that the stern work face was starting to be a bit of a turn on? Now when he saw it, he saw it for what it was. A mask. A façade. It was what she hid her emotions behind.
At work it made sense, but here? Now?
He was suddenly very glad he’d brought enough bagels for two. Maybe food would help him figure her out.
She set the bagels and coffee down on the coffee table in her living room as he took it all in. The apartment was small but cozy. Suprisingly cozy. His gaze fell on a homemade patchwork quilt that had puppies and kittens tackily embroidered all over it.
“My roommate’s,” she said.
He nodded. That made more sense.
She ducked into the kitchen and reappeared with plates and napkins. Setting them between them, she perched on the edge of the couch with her hands clasped politely in her lap as if preparing to watch him eat his breakfast… or perhaps conduct an interview.
He was too busy looking around. One could tell a lot about a person by their interior decorating and this room was a mashup of cutesy and elegant. He had a feeling everything cutesy belonged to her roommate and the neutral-colored palette was all hers. The only thing that was totally obvious was the dazzling array of reading material. There were two piles of precariously stacked books next to the couch that ranged from epic fantasy to classics to non-fiction tomes. “Are these yours?”
She nodded.
Okay then. Apparently she wasn’t here conducting an interview. It seemed he was. “Have you read all of these?”
She glanced over. “I’m currently reading them.”
He blinked. “All of them?”
“Yes.”
He continued to watch her as he chewed on his bagel and tried to remember the last time he’d read anything other than scripts.
She shifted under his gaze, tucking a nonexistent loose strand of hair behind her hair in what was clearly a nervous gesture. Aha! He’d finally found some clue to the mystery woman’s secret.
This morning, at least, she was trying to hide the fact that she was nervous. But why? Because of that kiss? Did she regret it? Or did she just regret givi
ng him her address?
“I have a short attention span.” The words tumbled out of her abruptly.
He blinked at her. What was that supposed to mean? Did she mean she was tired of him? Oh crap, maybe she was just letting him eat before she could kicked him out. He met her straightforward gaze. Wait, was she talking about him or—
She gestured back to the books. “I love to read but I have a hard time sticking to one. I like to bounce around.”
Huh. He tucked that tidbit away for a later date when he could analyze his mystery woman to his heart’s content. “So you’re seriously reading all of those books right now.”
She nodded.
“You must be even smarter than I imagined.”
She shrugged again. “I’m well read.”
He loved the fact that she didn’t try to deny it. Kennedy seemed like a woman who was well aware of her intelligence. Though whether she had any idea of her other excellent attributes was questionable.
As her silence lengthened, he grew impatient. It wasn’t like her to be so quiet. Or nervous. She clearly wanted to say something and the Kennedy he’d come to know this past week did not hesitate to say what was on her mind.
“Are you going to kick me out?” he asked, only half teasing as he set down his empty plate. She had yet to touch her bagel.
She ignored the question. “We need to define this relationship.”
He widened his eyes. Oh. Okay. That was not what he was expecting.
She cleared her throat and did that nervous hair tucking thing again. “Rather, we need to clarify how exactly this is not a relationship.”
Her lips pulled in and her nostrils flared in obvious irritation. “Ugh. This isn’t coming out right. Let me try again.”
He laughed. He couldn’t help it. She was just too cute when she was flustered. Not that she actually appeared flustered. She appeared like she was about to conduct a lecture on the nature of non-relationships. But he was starting to see through the appearance she clearly strove to project.
After last night, there was no way he’d fall for her automaton routine ever again. She might be able to compartmentalize and she was certainly well able to control her emotions, especially in regards to work, but she was far from unfeeling.
Once Upon an Ice Queen (Instalove in the City Book 3) Page 9