Rock Star, Interrupted

by Shade, S. M.

  The most panic inducing thought which creeps in is that I don’t think I have the ability to resist her anymore. The consequences of that are horrifying.

  The weight of the guitar in my lap brings comfort, and my fingers on the strings as I work out a melody lets the overwhelming anxiety drain away. It’s my one constant, the one thing I can count on to soothe whatever aches or rattles.

  Replaying our night together, the words flow onto the page.

  Enthralled by cracks of blue,

  the rumble and the sting.

  Reveling in the bruise

  of pristine everything.

  She breathes it deep.

  She feels it all.

  She breathes the world

  and makes me small.

  Color is what she sees

  in interlocking gray.

  Chaos in the serene,

  order in disarray.

  I’ve never felt so torn.

  All that I know of joy

  is the eye of my storm,

  all wrapped around my boy.

  She breathes it deep.

  She feels it all.

  She breathes the world

  and makes me small.

  It’s nearly dawn when I crawl back into bed with her. When I wrap my arm around her, she snuggles back against me and I try not to worry about how natural it feels. How quickly I could get used to this. For the first time in so long, I don’t just feel for someone, I trust her. Sleep comes for me quickly and the hours until my alarm wakes me are blissfully dreamless.

  When the alarm on my phone beeps, it feels like I’ve only just shut my eyes. It’ll be a long day in the studio on a couple of hours sleep, but it’s worth it. Naomi drags one eye open and glances up at me. Maybe she’s expecting some asshole reaction like throwing her out of my bed. I can’t blame her after last time.

  I have no idea what this means or where we’ll go from here. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me and my stack of issues, but right now I’m not letting those thoughts invade. I throw my arm over her and pull her forward until she’s lying with her head on my chest. My fingers play through her thick hair.

  We lie in silence until my phone beeps with a text from Milo, reminding me we have studio time in half an hour.

  “I have to go to the studio.”

  “Mmm.” She snuggles closer to me. “Don’t wake Caden or I’ll end you.”

  Chuckling, I drop a kiss on her forehead and get out of bed. “Is that any way to talk to the man who gave you multiple orgasms?”

  She grins at me as I dress. “I didn’t hear any complaints from your end.”

  “You won’t hear any tonight, either.”

  Rolling over on her back, she lets the cover fall to her waist and tucks her hands behind her head. “Kind of presumptuous, don’t you think?”

  My gaze is caught on her bare tits and she smirks at me when I take a moment to answer. Diving on the bed, I lick once over each nipple, then bite her earlobe. “Tonight,” I murmur, while she squirms under me. “I want my cock in your mouth before I fuck you.”

  “Okay,” she breathes, and I leave her with a blistering kiss that probably tortures me more than her. I’m the one leaving the house with a hard-on.

  Caden is sleeping in his crib when I take a quick peek in at him. He’s getting so big. He’s learned so much just in the last few months, and I can’t wait for all the things I’m going to get to teach him, especially about music.

  As I step out into the morning sunlight, I’m almost overwhelmed with a feeling that it takes me a long time to recognize. Happiness. I’m happy.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Naomi

  I’m doing my best not to overthink the events of the last twenty-four hours. Logically, I shouldn’t get my hopes up, especially when I don’t even know what I’m hoping for, specifically. Any kind of real relationship with Axton has never even been a consideration, just a fantasy. A daydream.

  It probably still is, and I’m not sure whether that thought should disappoint me or fill me with relief. I’ve spent so much energy trying to resist him, that I haven’t even thought through what I might want from him if he does want more from me.

  To be my boyfriend?

  Just trying to picture Axton, the rock god with beautiful women falling at his feet, agreeing to be my boyfriend feels so ridiculous. It was just great sex.

  And a promise of more great sex tonight. There’s no way I’d turn that down, but I need to reel in the crazy emotions. It was so different with him this time. So much more intimate and…mutual. He wasn’t just fucking me. We were enjoying each other, and I loved every second. Even his dirty talk and dominant behavior turns me on and that’s definitely something new I’ve learned about myself that I never expected.

  God, I’m acting like a teenager who just got laid for the first time. Making too much out of one night. I’m sure he isn’t doing the same thing.

  I need to get out of his bed and back to my room before Dani wakes up. I take one last breath to enjoy the smell of him on the sheets, get up, and throw my clothes on. My gaze is drawn back to the bed as I remember his words from last night.

  He said he finds joy in me.

  No, Naomi. Focus.

  Caden yells from his room, and I remember to grab the monitor before stepping into the hall and closing Axton’s door behind me. Just as I reach Caden’s doorway, Dani steps out of her room and into the hall.

  Whew. Saved by the baby’s cry.

  By the time I have Caden dressed and bring him out for some breakfast, Dani is on her way out the door. “Hey, I’m getting together with my old coworkers today. Did you have any plans tonight? Because we might end up going for drinks.”

  “Nope. Have fun. Call me if your drunk ass needs a ride.”

  Grinning, she drops a kiss on Caden’s cheek. “Jake is here. He’s sitting on the front porch.”

  “Tell him to come in and eat some pancakes.” After being surrounded by security all the time on tour, I should be used to it, but it’s different to have someone at your home. As far as we can tell, Axton’s address hasn’t gotten out, since there are no paparazzi gathered around the yard. I’m hoping we can let up on the security after we’re home for a while. The house has an alarm system and surveillance cameras, and there haven’t been any more threatening letters the last few weeks.

  Jake is a friendly guy. He appears big and tough but has a booming laugh that makes Caden smile. He was with us on tour as well, so he isn’t a stranger to us.

  The morning passes quickly, and it feels so good to be back home. To be able to unpack and know I won’t be shoving everything back in a suitcase in a few days.

  Caden is content to play in the sunroom with a new set of toy cars that Axton gave him, and I take the opportunity to relax a little and call Paige. We talked on the phone and video called a couple of times per week during the tour, but it feels like I haven’t seen her in forever.

  “You’re back!” she exclaims.

  “It’s good to be back. Are you busy?”

  “Nah, just trying to talk myself into going to the gym. I can talk.”

  The sound of my friend’s voice makes me want to dump all the thoughts swirling around my head onto her. She’s always been supportive and having an opinion on my situation from someone I trust is just what I need to stop obsessing over it in my head.

  “If Dani can babysit this weekend, do you want to go out? I don’t care what we do.”

  “Of course!” She pauses. “Are you okay? You sound a little off.”

  Damn her and her perception. “I’m fine. I just need some…girl talk to get my head straight.”

  “Oh my god, you fucked him!” she squeals.

  “Paige!” I look around like someone might have heard her through the phone, then shake my head at my own paranoia.

  “You did! You fucked the tall, broody, rock star. Didn’t you?”

  “Would you believe me now if I said no?”

  She
squeals again. “Nope. Holy hell. I need to hear all about it. How big?”

  “Shut up.” Caden grins up at me when I laugh.

  “Is he there right now?”

  “No, he’s at the studio. I’m home with Caden and Jake, the security guy.”

  “Ooh, Jake huh? What’s he look like? Big and muscly?” God, I missed her. She’s always so cheerful and full of excitement.

  “Pretty much,” I admit with a chuckle. “How about a spa day Saturday? My treat. Then I can talk your ear off.”

  “Deal, but I want details, you understand? You can rate him on size, attentiveness, moves, and oral skills.”

  “I missed your crazy ass.”

  “Same here, girl.”

  Caden grows frustrated with the toys and throws one of the cars across the room. “I’d better go. Caden needs a nap. I’ll let you know what time Saturday and come pick you up. I may have a security guy with me.”

  “By all means, bring him.”

  Caden walks over and lays his head on my lap as I’m hanging up. Running my fingers over his soft blonde hair, I notice how much it’s grown lately. “We’re going to have to trim it out of your eyes soon,” I murmur, picking him up.

  “Nay-mi.”

  “Nay-mi is going to read you a story, then it’s nap time.” He doesn’t make it through two pages before he’s snoring on my lap, and I tuck him into his crib.

  After months of eating takeout and room service, I’m dying for a home cooked meal, so I rummage through the newly stocked fridge and freezer to see what’s available. I’m happy when I find everything I need to make a beef stew. It’ll be easier to get all the peeling and chopping done now while Caden is asleep. I turn on some music and get started. Jake pokes his head in the room a few minutes later when I’m browning the beef. “Something smells good.”

  “Beef stew. It’s going in the slow cooker for dinner. Don’t take off before you get some.”

  His smile is wide as he agrees. A knock at the door makes him shake his head. “There are some kids selling candy bars door to door. I don’t think they know what a no soliciting sign means.”

  I toss him a ten dollar bill. “Well, go buy some before they knock again and wake Caden.”

  Chuckling, he walks off.

  I turn up the music a little more and dance around the kitchen as I gather the vegetables I need.

  A sudden, deafening crack makes my entire body jerk and the two that follow freeze me in place. My ears fill with a high-pitched whine, and I hear Caden’s terrified cry above it.

  My brain seems to slow down and grasp at the situation, trying to catch up to what the hell is going on. Fireworks? Gunshots? Were those gunshots?

  Caden!

  His screams are what unglue my feet from the floor and return function to my muscles. Whatever just happened, I have to get Caden.

  With the knife still in hand, I start to turn but a thick arm wraps around my throat. The smell of stale beer and rotten fruit turns my stomach. Stabbing the chopping knife into the bulging bicep is a reflex, but I hit my mark because I hear a grunted curse before a sharp sting turns to a burning sensation in my neck. I’m too late.

  My consciousness starts to waver, and I fight to keep control. The wall in front of me turns watery and my muscles seem to sag, refusing to obey my order to fight. Or even to stand.

  Caden’s crying. Oh god. I have to get to him.

  The arm around my throat is gone. “Caden,” I murmur. “Don’t hurt him, please.”

  I’m on the floor. How did I get on the floor? All I hear is silence. Did I pass out? Why can’t I hear Caden crying?

  Darkness flows in, paring my sight down to a pinpoint of light.

  Why isn’t he crying?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Axton

  A sharp tap on the window draws my attention to Milo, who waves at me to join him. “What the fuck does he want now?” Elliot grumbles.

  “If he wants track four done again, tell him to eat a dick, Ax,” Jude adds as I step out of the studio.

  He’s getting no comment from me because I know why we’ve had to redo shit today. It’s my fault. I can’t focus with the thought of a certain naked nanny in my bed.

  “Axton.” Milo grabs my shoulder and steers me into the hall. “We’ve got to go. Now.”

  “What the fuck?” I stop just outside the door.

  Most of the time, Milo’s expression varies between a fake smile or a frown, like he’s a disappointed parent watching their kid blow the big game. The fearful look of anxiety knitting his brows together is new.

  Jude walks up beside me, clearly ready to argue with whatever problems Milo has with our tracks today.

  “We have to go. Paul called. Something is going on at your place and you’re needed there right now.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck and my arms stand up while every muscle in my body tightens. He’s already started walking again, and I quickly catch up with him. “What the fuck do you mean something happened? What happened? Is Caden okay?”

  Milo shoves open the back exit and stalks across the parking lot to a waiting car. “That’s all I know. He didn’t want to say more over the phone.”

  We’re on the highway in less than a minute. As the driver weaves us through the evening traffic, I call Naomi’s phone. She doesn’t answer. There’s suddenly not enough air in the car and I can hear my breaths as I call Jake’s phone with no luck. Dani’s goes straight to voicemail. Where the fuck is everyone?

  My mind conjures terrifying scenarios on the ten minute ride home. Caden is hurt. Maybe he broke a bone. But all this wouldn’t be necessary for a simple trip to an emergency room. Naomi could handle that, and she would’ve called me. What if the house caught fire? Or someone broke in to harm Naomi? We haven’t had any threats in quite awhile and to my knowledge, no one even knows where I live. Plus, I left Jake with them.

  Fighting to calm the throbbing heart fighting its way through my ribs, I try to come up with possibilities that aren’t horrifying. That’s how fear and anxiety work right? I’m sure whatever is going on isn’t nearly as bad as the horror I’m picturing. I hold onto the tiny bit of comfort in that thought until we turn the corner.

  “Shit,” Jude curses softly. I didn’t even realize he followed us into the car.

  Police cars sit nose to nose at an angle in front of my house, blocking the street.

  The car hasn’t stopped when my feet are pounding pavement. Milo yells my name, but it comes from far away. Two officers step out between the cars and yell for me to stop. Their hands are on me, holding me back for a moment before Milo rushes up.

  “This is Axton Todd. It’s his house.”

  I’m released and the plainclothes cops just outside the front door don’t try to stop me as I dart past them, already yelling for Naomi. My steps stop short at the front door, which stands wide open.

  Did I think I knew fear before this? That the horrors of my past experiences had shown me that emotion in full?

  The naivete.

  Nothing comes close to the pure frozen terror that racks me down to my soul when I see the blood splashed across the doorway. It pools in the foyer and the smell is so familiar I can’t understand what I’m seeing for a moment. What’s happening?

  A nightmare? Did I open the door in my nightmare? Shouldn’t I have woken up before that happened?

  No, this is real. It’s real.

  The living room is dark after the brightness of the outdoors and my eyes are slow to adjust, but gradually the sight of Dani sitting on the couch comes into focus. My stomach tightens and I fight back a wave of nausea at the sight of her tear streaked face that’s stamped with despair.

  “Where’s Caden?” I demand.

  “Ax,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

  Grabbing her arms, I resist the urge to shake her. Staring into her eyes, I repeat myself. “Where is he?”

  “Someone…someone took him. He’s missing.”

  Air. I can’t get
any air. The world is pushing in around me. “No!” I shout. It seems to be the only word I can manage. A frantic search of every room confirms what I don’t want to believe.

  He’s gone.

  My search ends in the kitchen with another puddle of blood, this one much smaller than the other. I grab an officer who walks in. “Where is he? Where’s Caden? And Naomi. I left a fucking security guard here to protect them, so you tell me where they are right fucking now!”

  Another officer enters with Jude by his side. The officer I have a grip on speaks in a low voice. “Mr. Todd. We’re trying to figure out what happened. I need you to let me go.”

  Pulling my hands off of him, I step back. My father’s laugh plays in my head.

  Two wasn’t enough.

  Two wasn’t enough.

  The destroyer.

  “Fuck!” My shout has everyone in the room looking at me like I may explode and that’s exactly how I feel.

  Jude approaches me and grabs my shoulders. His gaze locks on mine. “Ax, listen. I know this is horrible, but you have to get a grip. Get control. Now.”

  A deep breath. Then two more. With a nod, I step back and speak to the officer again. “What do you know?”

  Dani comes over to take my hand and Jude stays close as the officer runs down the events.

  “Your neighbors down the road heard gunshots and called the police. When they arrived they found…” He whips out a little notepad and glances at it. “A Mr. Jacob Hathlon on the foyer floor. He’d been shot three times.”

  Jake’s blood in the foyer, not Caden’s or Naomi’s. My legs feel weak, and I lean against the kitchen counter. “Jake. Is he dead?”

  “I’m afraid Mr. Hathlon didn’t survive.”

  “And Naomi?” The words come out so heavy I imagine them falling to the floor.

  “Naomi Wells was found unconscious on the kitchen floor. She’s been transported to County Hospital. I don’t know her condition, but she didn’t appear to have any serious injuries. We’re hoping she’ll be able to tell us more when she regains consciousness. We were able to access her phone and Ms. Todd was her emergency contact.” He nods toward Dani.