by Jillian Dodd
Because, right here, I can't see the guards.
I don't feel afraid.
I feel like anything is possible.
Anything and everything.
Which makes me even more determined. I need my life back.
Now.
As we continue our walk to the gazebo, Emery says, "I wanna kiss Michael."
"Who's Michael?" I ask.
She sighs dreamily. "You know, Michael on The Princess Diaries."
"Oh, he is cute. He's a little old for you, though, don't you think?"
"When I grow up, he won't be too old," she tells me very seriously.
"I wanna kiss Prince Eric." Avery says.
"From The Little Mermaid?"
"Yeah, he's cute and he has a castle by the ocean. I love the ocean."
"Me too." I lift her up and give her a hug.
She looks at me and Aiden. "You were kissing Aye-den. You love him."
I glance at Aiden, who's grinning like a maniac.
"Are you gonna get mare-weed?" Gracie asks.
"No. You don't have to get married when you're in love," Ivery says with a sigh, like they've had this discussion before. "Momma and Daddy aren't married."
"Would you like it if they got married?" I ask them.
They scream, "Yes!!!"
"If they ever did, you would have to be very well-behaved. No tantrums, Gracie. No screaming. Good little ladies."
"Momma says we will get to carry flowers. But not 'til we're older," Ivery says.
"Yeah, not 'til we are older," Avery confirms.
"What do you think of the pretty flowers on the gazebo?" I ask them.
They run around it, through the middle of it, and back to us.
"Look at all the butterflies!" they squeal.
"What do you think of the butterflies?" Aiden asks me.
I take in the octagonal gazebo covered with grapevines, a riot of pale flowers, ribbons, and little butterflies.
"I love them. I can see why Kym was freaking out though. They're a little tacky up close, but when we were farther back the effect was beautiful."
I walk to the backside of the gazebo and decide to pluck off a few butterflies for the girls.
"Come here, girls!"
The four of them tear around the corner.
"What!?" Avery asks.
"Would you each like to choose a butterfly to take back to the house?"
They jump up and down with excitement and yell, "Yes!"
"I want that pretty blue one," Ivery says, pointing to one clear at the top.
"I don't know if I can reach that one. Hey, Aiden, we need you."
Aiden rounds the corner and, gosh, he is so the God of all Hotties.
His dark blond hair is messily pushed back off his forehead, a few random pieces falling over one beautiful green eye and drawing attention to the sexy freckle underneath. He has a piece of hay in his mouth, a grin on his face, and cowboy boots on his feet.
But it's the hay in his mouth that causes me to realize that Aiden reminds me of my dad. Perfect blond hair, amazing eyes, a beautiful wide smile, and an easy-going demeanor.
When he stands on his tiptoes, reaching up to retrieve the butterfly, his muscular forearm flexes.
It's hot.
And makes me want him.
All of him.
Like, now.
The girls are shouting out orders of which butterfly they want.
Gracie wants to examine all the butterflies up close, so he lifts her high in the air. After she chooses one, he sets her down and takes the butterfly off its flower perch. Then he crouches down to her level and places the pale pink one she chose gently in her open palm.
The exact way he placed a perfect four-leaf clover in mine.
My own stomach fills with butterflies.
"Why don't you girls run back to the house and show your butterflies to everyone," he says.
As they race away, he pulls me into his arms. "You better always need me." Then he gives me the kind of kiss that sends my butterflies somewhere lower. A hot, powerful tongue kiss.
It's official. I am obsessed with his tongue. With his lips.
With him.
Our kiss is interrupted by Gracie coming back and pulling on his sleeve.
"Gracie tired. I need piggy," she says, although she doesn't look the least bit tired.
Avery, who has run back to check on Gracie says, "Gracie is a baby."
"NO! NO! Gracie is NOT a baby! I big girl! Gracie no more wear pull-ups. Mama says I big girl!"
Aiden's chuckling as he crouches down to her level.
"You are a big girl, Gracie. Good job," I tell her, picking her up and putting her on Aiden's back.
"Hang on tight!" Aiden tells her, then he rears up like a bucking bronco and gallops toward the house.
A happy memory rushes to the front of my brain. Me jumping off bales of hay onto my dad's back. Him rearing back and pretending to try to buck me off even though he had a firm grip on my legs. Me telling him to Giddy-up, horsey because Grandma had dinner ready.
After he drops Gracie off at the house, I tell him, "You're going to be a good dad someday."
"And you're going to be an amazing mom. You're great with the girls. When do you want to have kids?"
"I'm not sure," I say, putting my head down as reality slaps me in the face.
Aiden cocks his head and reads my mind. "I'm sorry. I won't talk about the future any more. I understand now why the word forever freaks you out."
A special rock.
2pm
Lunch is long and practically an event in and of itself.
The sun is shining and everyone is out on the lawn. The kids are blowing bubbles and running around like maniacs.
Damian, Peyton, and Grandpa are playing croquet. The other guys--Tommy, Matt, Deron, Aiden, and his dad--are tossing around a football. The rest of us are sitting around a large, weathered wooden table, drinking wine and picking cheese and fruit off a big wooden board.
I notice Aiden take out his phone and point it toward Tommy, who just pulled a rock out of his pocket and gave it to Emery.
Oh my gosh. It's time!
Emery comes running up to Mom.
"Look, Mommy! Look what I found!! It's a special rock."
Mom is used to getting special rocks. The girls think every plain old rock they find is special.
Mom leans down toward her and says, "What's so special about it, Em?"
"It has a word on it! And I can read it!"
"Oh? What does it say?"
She puts it on the table and yells, "Me!"
"Oh, that is special. Where did you find it?"
"I don't know," she says and happily skips away.
Pretty soon, Ivery prances up. "I found a special rock too, Momma. Look. What does this one say?" She sets it in front of mom.
"Oh, honey, that one says YOU."
Ivery says, "Me and you." She runs off singing, "Me and you, you and me, we live together in a tree, me and you, you and me, don't get stung by a bee." She's really quite creative.
About five minutes--and a full glass of wine for me--later, Avery marches up, all business.
I'm starting to get nervous.
"Abby, I found a special rock, too." She's decided she's too mature to call Mom and Tommy Mommy and Daddy. "And this one has your name on it."
"It does. ABBY. Good job," Mom says.
When she runs back out to play, Mom turns to me. "What's going on?"
"I have no idea," I lie.
She turns her attention toward Tommy, who is swinging the girls in circles and then laughing when they walk around dizzy and fall down.
A few minutes later, she grabs my arm, almost spilling my wine. "Look, look at Tommy. What is he doing?"
All the ladies turn their attention toward Tommy. He's bent down on one knee next to Gracie, whispering to her.
Gracie starts laughing and running away from him. He chases her.
"They're playing?" I s
ay, like, Duh, Mom. "Hey, why aren't you drinking wine today?" I ask, noticing she isn't drinking any, and that is unusual. I mean, this is a party.
"Oh, I was feeling a little dehydrated, so I'm sticking to water this afternoon."
"Oh," I say.
Millie and Peyton are discussing Deron's abs and how dreamy Damian's voice is.
Millie says to Mom, "Abby, did you see Tommy? He just took something out of his pocket and handed it to Gracie. Now, he's whispering to her again. What is he up to?"
Mom smiles and shakes her head. "I have no clue."
"I probably shouldn't tell you this," Grandma Stevens says, and I'm thinking, *&%!!!!! Don't tell her!
Mom leans towards her conspiratorially. "What?! Tell me!"
"Well, Tommy told us the girls have a special surprise for you, and we were all supposed to be out here to see it. What do you think it could be?"
I let out a big sigh of relief.
All the ladies start speculating about what the surprise could be.
Mrs. Arrington mentions that it is Christmas. Grandma Douglas suggests that sneaky is synonymous with man.
But Mom shakes her head. "No, he's been working on some deal. He won't tell me what it is yet, but he did say it will be good for all of us."
"I heard him and Matt talking about some new script," Marisa suggests.
"I agree with Aiden's mom. It's Christmas," I say, stating what should be the obvious reason for sneaking around this time of year.
"Looks like you're about to find out," Grandma Stevens says, as Gracie starts barreling in our direction, screaming, "Momma, Momma, MOMMMAA!!! Gracie has special rock too! Read it to me!"
Mom sets it down on the table with the others. "Well, honey, it says WILL."
"YOU, ME, ABBY, WILL? Who's WILL?" I ask Mom.
Peyton says, "Oh, maybe it's Prince William. No, wait, he's already taken."
Millie says, "Will. I. Am? Do you know him?"
"Uh, no," Mom says, looking confused.
"I know!" Marisa says, "What about Will Smith? Are you going to do a movie with him?"
"Not that I know of."
"How about William Tell?" I offer, trying to keep them off track. What is with their one-track movie minds? "Or William Shakespeare, or Will Ferrell or--"
Mom interrupts me. "Why does Tommy look so suspicious? Like, more suspicious than usual."
"He's a man," Grandma Douglas says with a laugh.
"Tommy, get your ass over here," Mom yells.
Tommy saunters over, looking way too cool for a guy who has planned a surprise wedding and is about to propose.
"What's up with all the rocks?" she demands.
He stands in front of the table, leans across to kiss her, and then studies the rocks. "Hmmm, well, first off, you have them in the wrong order."
"I do?"
"Yeah, here." He rearranges them so they read, WILL YOU ME ABBY.
"Will. You. Me. Abby? That still makes no sense."
Tommy flashes his trademark naughty grin, leans against the pergola post, and says casually. "That's because you're still missing one." He reaches into his pocket, fishes out another rock, and tosses it to me. "Fix that for your mom, will ya, baby?"
I catch the rock, walk to the front of the table, and pretend to study the rocks.
I slide apart the YOU and ME rocks, making space for the important one I'm about to put down.
I slowly lay down the MARRY rock, so the message is clear.
WILL YOU MARRY ME, ABBY.
Peyton, Marisa, Kym, and the grandmas gasp audibly.
Millie screams in delight.
Mom's expression is priceless, and you can see a full spectrum of emotions cross her expressive face. From utter shock to understanding, back to utter shock, then to realization, causing happy tears to spring to her eyes.
Then, she does it.
Her mouth turns up at the corners, then her small smile turns into a full-on beaming grin.
She turns toward Tommy, who is now on one knee beside her, showing off a very different kind of rock in a velvet box.
"So? Will you marry me, Abby?" he asks.
She leaps out of her chair and dives on him with such force that she knocks him to the ground.
Now, she's lying on top of him in the grass, kissing him.
And . . . still kissing him.
"Um, hello," I cough. "There are children present."
Mom gives Tommy one more deep kiss.
Then she leans up and says breathlessly, "I would love to marry you, Tommy, my love."
Everyone has gathered around to watch the spectacle.
We all clap and cheer.
When Mom gets up, Emery asks, "Why did you knock Daddy over, Momma? I get in trouble when I jump on sissy like that."
"Mommy is really happy. Daddy asked Mommy to marry him."
Avery jumps up and down with excitement and asks, "When, Mommy?"
Mom looks at Tommy adoringly and replies, "As soon as possible."
Tommy gets himself off the ground, puts the ring on her finger, and gives her another devious grin. "I was hoping you would say that." Then he turns to everyone and announces, "Wedding in ten minutes."
Mom's in shock.
"I think we'll need just a little more time than that," I say.
"So this wasn't really about the wine?" Millie asks.
Tommy grins and shakes his head. "That was just the excuse to get you all here but, trust me, there will be lots of celebrating."
"Okay, so wedding in one hour," I announce. "Everyone meet under the trees behind the barn. If you get ready early, there are cocktails waiting."
Mom is still in shock.
"But I don't have a dress!"
"Actually, you have a bunch to choose from," Kym informs her. "Now, let's go get you ready."
We go into the house and head up to Mom's bathroom, which I know has been transformed into a mini-salon.
Mom's still gushing. "I can't believe he planned all this. The rocks were adorable and to have you girls in on it was so special. How did he come up with it?"
"We've been kicking around engagement ideas for the past month. You should hear some of the crazy ideas we came up with. He told me when I started school that he wanted to ask you. He was having rings designed. When he got sketches back, we picked one and, while they were making it, we starting brainstorming for ways to surprise you. I thought the idea of doing it all in the same day was smart. You remember what a mess planning Millie's wedding was--all the speculation, the drama, the following her around. Tommy wanted this very private. But he had some good proposal ideas. We talked about doing shells on the beach, he thought about taking you skydiving, to the top of a mountain, in a helicopter, on a yacht. You name it. He's really quite creative."
Mom smiles dreamily.
"Have you had a chance to look closely at the ring?"
"No, but it's dazzling."
"Look closer. Around the big stone, there are seven smaller stones. One for each of us. Our family."
Mom looks like she's gonna start crying again.
And . . . she does.
"That is so sweet." She hugs me and whispers, "I have a secret."
My eyes get big. The last time Mom had a secret she was pregnant with Gracie. "Really?!"
She grins big.
"Does Tommy know yet?"
"No. I just did the pregnancy test yesterday. About fell off the toilet when I watched it turn pink."
"Pink is probably the right color with all of us girls. Tommy is a brave man."
"Tommy is a good man. We got lucky, blessed, when he came into our lives."
I get tears in my eyes too. "Yeah, we did."
"Aiden seems like a good man."
"He is."
As we approach her room, Kym is waiting by the door. She says quietly, "The hair and makeup team believe they are preparing you for a party."
Mom and I nod in understanding.
Once Mom's hair is curled and braided int
o a pretty updo, Kym has James escort the hair and makeup crew out while we go into Kym's room to choose her wedding dress.
She tries on four dresses. All of them are pretty, but not really what I pictured her wearing.
"I saved the best for last," Kym says, sliding the perfect dress on her.
Words that fill my pages.
11pm
It's late. The vows have been said, the toasts have been raised, the food has been eaten, the wine's being drunk, and the little kids are tucked into bed. I'm sitting at a table with Tommy and Grandpa, watching mom dance in a circle with Millie and Kym.
They are being a little wild.
Aiden, who just finished dancing with his mom, kisses my cheek and sits down next to me.
Grandpa watches them dance, then leans toward me. "You're mom's a handful." He nods at Tommy.
Tommy nods. "You've got that right. Of course, that might be what I like best about her."
Grandpa motions toward me.
I put my hand up to my chest. "What? You think I'm a handful, too?"
Tommy and Aiden both laugh. They seem to think that's quite funny.
Tommy says to me, "Uh, yeah." Then he turns to Aiden. "You up for that?"
Aiden grins. "Yeah. I think I am."
"On that note," I say, getting up, "I think I'll go dance with the other handfuls."
Damian intercepts me. "Remember the song we worked on in St. Croix?"
"The sorta like fate one?"
"Yeah. I'm going up on stage to sing it for her." He looks nervous. "Tell me I'm not nuts. Tell me it's okay that I'm crazy in love with her when I've only known her a month."
"You're not nuts, Damian. You should trust your feelings."
He shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm going to do this. This song, it's telling her--and the world--exactly how I feel. I've never put myself out there like this before."
"Now who's being dramatic?" I tease. "Your family and friends are going to hear it, not exactly the world."
He looks around the room. "No, but they're my world. The people who I care about most."
"And the people who will both tease you mercilessly and be happy for you. Is she worth a little teasing?"
He glances at her out on the dance floor, his eyes filling with emotion. "I keep picturing our own wedding. I want to marry her, Keats. I'd do it today if I could. I know we're young. I know it's crazy. But I would. My dad would freak if I told him that."
I give him a hug. "You're an adult, Damian. You have to make decisions about your life. Well, almost. A few more weeks and my froggy becomes a man," I say with a laugh.
"Peyton wants to plan something for me. Should I let her, or should we stick with tradition?"
"We've been going bowling and then out for hot wings on your birthday for a long time. Why don't you let me help her plan something and we'll surprise you."