Where It All Began

by Lorana Hoopes

  Henry rose from the couch as I entered. “You look nice in that color,” he said. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes, and thank you.” I followed him out the front door, locking it behind me.

  As we walked, he talked about his family back in Louisiana and his short stint in the Air Force, which was how he ended up in Texas. “I wanted to be a pilot, but after they found out I was color blind, they said it was a no go. I tried doing the different jobs involving planes, but my passion was flying, so after I served my four years, I got out.”

  “What made you stay here?” I asked.

  “Well, I liked San Antonia, where I had trained, so I figured when I got out, I’d see what else Texas had to offer, and I found a job in Dallas, so I stayed.”

  “Do you miss your family?”

  His eyes clouded over, and he turned his head away. “I do, but I try to see them once a year or so.”

  Something about his demeanor led me to believe there was a bigger story there, but I didn’t press the issue. “I’m an only child. My parents live in Houston, but I couldn’t handle the heat, so when I had a chance to go to nursing school in Dallas, I jumped at it.”

  “Do you like nursing?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I think so, for now anyway.” As the words tumbled out of my mouth, I realized I didn’t enjoy nursing as much as I had before the “procedure.” I didn’t deal with babies much or pregnant women for that matter, but the hospital itself held some kind of memory, and it just hadn’t been the same. Plus, there was always the chance of running into Peter and Sheila.

  We arrived at the quaint cafe then, and a waitress led us to a table. The cafe had an eclectic feel with brightly colored walls and healthy sandwiches. Large potted plants sat in the corners, and music played softly through the restaurant. The menus were single sheets inside plastic casings, and after ordering, we engaged in more small talk.

  The food came, and once again Henry prayed over it before he ate. I took the opportunity to really focus on him while his eyes were closed. He was a handsome man, but even more than that was his demeanor. I wondered again if this God of his had something to do with that.

  After dinner, we sauntered back to the apartments. On the walk there, Henry grasped my hand, and I smiled at the touch and the fact that no nausea accompanied it. I laced my fingers in his and enjoyed the warmth that traveled up my arm, enflaming my body. As we walked, I wondered if he would try and kiss me goodnight and found I wanted him to.

  When we reached my door, I paused, giving him the opportunity. Henry’s brow furrowed as if he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure what. His mouth opened and closed. He took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. “I know this might sound kind of strange, but I really feel like God is telling me to invite you to church on Sunday, so will you go with me?”

  I had my head tilted up and my eyes closed when his words sank in. My eyes popped open. “I’m sorry, but what did you say?” Surely, I had heard him wrong. He couldn’t want me to go to church with him, but then again he didn’t know my secret.

  He cleared his throat and brought his other hand up so that he was holding my hand in both of his. “I’m asking you to go to church with me on Sunday. The service starts at 9:30, so I could pick you up at 9 am. It isn’t far from here, and I’d really like you to see why God is so important to me. Will you come?”

  His eyes pleaded with me, and my mind drew a blank on excuses. The only one I had, I couldn’t tell him about. I nodded, unable to actually form the word yes on my lips. His eyes lit up as he squeezed my hand again.

  “That’s great,” he said. “Thank you again for accompanying me to dinner, and I’ll see you soon.” He dropped my hand and walked to his apartment; I stared after him, missing the warmth of his touch, but still a little in shock.

  Unlocking my own door, I stumbled inside and locked it before ambling numbly to my bedroom. Why did I say yes? What if God strikes me down at the church door? Does he do things like that? Would everyone in church be able to see I didn’t belong and my past sin? The questions circled over and over like a gerbil on a wheel as I changed into pajamas and brushed my teeth. Even after I climbed into bed, they plagued my mind, keeping sleep at bay.

  At lunch the next day, I picked at my salad contemplating what I could say to Henry to get out of church on Sunday but not scare him off. A metal dray dropped beside me, causing me to jump. Raquel’s bright green eyes met my gaze when I peered up.

  “Guess what?” she squealed as she pulled out a chair and plunked down. “I’m getting married. Philip proposed last night.” She held out her left hand where a large diamond ring adorned her fourth finger.

  “Wow, isn’t that kind of fast?” The words escaped before I could stop them, and I felt bad when Raquel’s face dropped. “I’m sorry; I mean that’s great.”

  Raquel tilted her nose up and away. Her feathers were definitely ruffled. “It may be fast, but when you know, you just know.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed, hoping to appease my friend. “Let me see it.”

  Raquel held her hand closer, and I oohed over the ostentatious ornament.

  “Now, tell me how are things with Henry?” Raquel’s voice lilted in a sing song manner, and she raised her eyebrows in a teasing gesture.

  I sighed, back to the question of the day. “It was going great, and then he invited me to church.”

  Raquel shrugged and plucked a grape off her tray, popping it in her mouth, “So what? Go to church with him. It’s probably not a serious thing. I know a lot of people who go to church on Sundays just to atone for their Saturdays if you get my drift.” She nudged me with her elbow and winked.

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head, ignoring her insinuation. “God seems really important to him, but what if he hates me?”

  “Who? Henry?”

  “No, God.”

  Raquel leaned forward, her eyebrows arched. “Why would God hate you? You’re amazing.”

  I bit my lip and whispered, “Because of the ‘procedure.’” I glanced around quickly to make sure no one had heard.

  She sat back and picked up another grape. “Look, if there’s a God, I’m sure he understands that you just did what was best for you. Isn’t that what people always say, God wants the best for you?”

  “I don’t know if that’s what they mean.” I was no expert on God, but that didn’t sound like the same one Henry described.

  “Well, I’ve been in a church since mine, and I am fine. I’m sure lots of other women have, too. Besides, Henry is worth it. He’s a catch.” She smiled and winked at me.

  Raquel’s words sunk in and churned around in my stomach, sprouting a seed of confidence. Maybe I could go to church. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

  When Sunday rolled around, I woke before the alarm clock. Doubt gnawed on my insides. After showering, I stood in the closet, surveying the contents. What did people even wear to church? I’d only ever seen TV shows about it, and they always appeared dressy. I pulled on a simple peach dress and checked the mirror. Dressy but not overly, pretty but not too sexy.

  I swallowed the seed of fear that was steadily growing and entered the kitchen to start the coffee. When it finished, I sat down on the couch with a steaming mug, trying to calm the nerves roiling in my stomach. At 9 am on the dot, a knock sounded at the door. Henry stood on the other side looking dapper in a charcoal suit and blue shirt.

  “You look very nice,” he said and held out his hand.

  I stared at his outstretched hand and ran my hands down the peach dress, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took his hand and shut the door, locking it behind me. He dropped my hand as we began walking. I eyeballed him, expecting an explanation, but he gave none, nor any indication that what he had done was out of the ordinary.

  “We’re not driving?” I asked as we exited the parking lot on foot.

  He smiled. “Not when God made it so beautiful outside. It’s not a long walk anyway.” We conti
nued in silence down the cracked sidewalk. Redbud trees lined the sides, and the sun warmed my skin, but inside my nerves were balling together. I had hoped he would take my hand again; it was a calming presence, but he didn’t, and I was too confused by his action to try taking his.

  We turned the corner a few blocks down, and a white clapboard church came into view. A few trees dotted its yard, and a solitary cross sat atop its steeple. Groups of people milled outside chatting, and as we approached, a few waved at Henry. He returned the wave, but he didn’t stop to chat. Relief flooded my body like a gently lapping wave. I didn’t know these people from Adam, and I didn’t want to try and have small talk as nervous as I was.

  He led me into the small sanctuary. Rows of pews with red velvet seats lined the left and right but the center aisle was open. As I followed him to a pew on the right, in about the middle of the church, I gazed up at the beautiful stained glass windows that adorned the church. Each one depicted a different scene, but they made no sense to me. I’d have to remember to ask Henry about them later. As we sat, I noticed the brown shelf holding books on the back of the pew in front of me.

  “What are these?” Picking one up, I began turning the pages. It was similar to the Bible, though not as big and with thicker pages.

  He smiled. “Have you never been to a church before?”

  I shook my head as I focused on the pages. Music bars stared back at me.

  “That’s a hymnal, so you can read the words if you aren’t familiar with the songs, and that other book is the Bible in case you don’t have your own.”

  I nodded and continued turning the pages as the church filled around us.

  A few people came over and shook Henry’s hand. He made introductions when that occurred, and I would smile, but I wished people would stop coming over; I just wanted to listen to the service. Finally, a choir clad in black robes took the stage. One man stepped up to the mic.

  “If you’ll open your hymnal to page 584, you’ll be able to follow along as we sing ‘At the Old Rugged Cross.’”

  I flipped the pages until I found the correct number. People began to stand all around me, including Henry, so I rose to my feet as well. I didn’t know the song, but not wanting people to know that, I mouthed the words and enjoyed the deep sound of Henry’s voice beside me.

  The song was slow, but the words had a power to them. Different emotions played across people’s faces: mostly joy, some sadness, and a few of indifference. I couldn’t understand those people. I didn’t even know what I was doing here, but I certainly felt a power. A slower song followed and then a faster song. I gasped as people began raising their hands and dancing in the aisles.

  “Do they always do that?” I whispered to Henry.

  He smiled. “Only on the fast ones.”

  When the song ended, a black man in a light suit took the stage and began to preach. I tried to listen to the words, though the “amens” from those around me were often distracting. I found myself turning to see who had shouted the word every time. I’d had no idea church was so lively. Church had always been something I thought was formal and stiff. As the preacher closed, the choir stood up and sang one last song before the service was over. When the music stopped, Henry stood, and I followed him out of the aisle and out the front entrance of the church. Again people waved, and Henry returned the waves and smiled, but he didn’t stay to chat.

  “What did you think?” Henry asked as we made our way back to the apartment complex.

  I tilted my head and pursed my lips. “I think I liked it. I definitely enjoyed the music, and the sermon was nice, too.”

  His smile stretched across his face. “I’m glad. Would you like to come again?”

  As much as I had enjoyed the service, a small seed of doubt still remained. I squished the seed and returned the smile as a warmth enveloped me. “Yes, I think I would. Also, I think I’d like a Bible to read. Do you know where I could get one?”

  “Any bookstore would have one for sale, but I bet the library at our apartment complex has one you could check out.”

  I sucked in my breath, hope building inside. “Really? Will you go with me to check?”

  The rather small apartment library consisted of two bookshelves in the corner of the main lobby. They held mostly trashy romance novels with a few classics sprinkled in, but at the very bottom of the first bookshelf, I struck gold. A black leather book with “The Holy Bible” embossed in gold down the spine called out to me.

  “You were right,” I said, handing the book to him. He smiled as he ran his hand over the cover. I signed the book checkout log sheet, and we walked back to my apartment, the Bible tucked to my chest like a Christmas gift.

  “I’d really like to take you to a movie,” Henry said outside my apartment door. “Are you free Friday night?”

  “I’ll have to check my schedule, but I think I can make that happen.” He said goodbye, and I entered my apartment, Bible cradled against my chest. I sat down on the couch and opened the book to the first chapter. Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Hmm, that wasn’t what I’d learned in school, but I always did have a problem buying the whole evolving from a monkey thing because monkeys were still around. I continued reading.

  “How was church?” Raquel asked as we ate lunch the following day.

  I smiled. “It was actually pretty fun. There was lots of music, and the message was good too.”

  Raquel wrinkled her nose. “I can’t imagine church being fun. I’ve gone a few times, and you’re right the music was good, but the sermon . . . ugh. Philip and I spent the morning in bed, much more fun I think.”

  I chewed a bite of salad as I thought. “I don’t know; the people I saw yesterday all seemed pretty happy. I started reading the Bible as well. Some of it is hard to understand, but it was fascinating.”

  Raquel’s head dropped as her eyes widened. “You aren’t going to go all religious on me, are you?”

  A small laugh escaped my lips. I certainly didn’t know enough to be considered religious, besides – the realization sunk in again – God probably wouldn’t accept me anyway. “No, I guess not,” I sighed.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Raquel picked up her tray. “I think you’re being smart. Get to know his interests, but don’t get sucked into the crazy.”

  I nodded as I followed her out of the cafeteria, but it didn’t seem all that crazy. In fact, it seemed rather nice.

  When Friday evening rolled around, I sat in my apartment drumming my fingers on the couch arm, waiting for the knock on the door. I was really looking forward to spending the evening with Henry.

  Seeking the peace he seemed to have, I had been perusing the Bible nightly, but couldn’t find the answers I sought. Perhaps tonight I would be brave enough to ask him about it.

  At 6:45 on the nose, the knock sounded. I jumped up from the couch and smoothed my pale yellow dress. As I opened the door, I smiled at Henry on the other side dressed in khaki slacks and a light blue button down shirt, holding a red rose.

  He bowed and held the flower out to me. “For you, pretty lady.”

  My heart skipped a beat, and a blush heated my face. “Thank you.” Pulling the apartment door shut behind us, I followed him to his car.

  “How was your week?” he asked after shutting my door and getting in on the driver’s side.

  “It was okay. Oh hey, did you hear Philip and Raquel are getting married?” His eyebrows furrowed as he started the car and pulled out. “What?” I pressed, “I thought you liked Philip.”

  He sighed. “I do, it’s just he doesn’t seem like the marrying type.”

  Concern bubbled up for my friend, “What do you mean?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just Raquel is the fifth girl he’s dated since I’ve known him, just over a year, but maybe she’s the one.”

  I bit my lip and my own retort. As much as I loved Raquel, she was quite the player herself. I would just have to be ext
ra vigilant to make sure she didn’t get hurt. The conversation stalled, and I mentally kicked myself, wishing I’d chosen a lighter topic so maybe I could bring up my questions.

  When we arrived at the theater, Henry paid for the tickets and held the door open for me as we stepped inside. We waited in line to get popcorn and drinks and then filed into the theater. I wanted to ask him about his peace, but the right words wouldn’t form.

  He picked seats in the middle of the theater, and we munched on the popcorn as we waited for the movie to start. Warmth spread up my arm every time our fingertips touched. The lights dimmed.

  When the popcorn was finished, Henry set the bucket down and grasped my hand. The tingling warmth ran up my arm and spilled over onto the rest of my body. Though I tried not to react when the characters in the movie kissed, I couldn’t help wondering what kissing Henry would be like, and I was glad the theater was dark because I knew every time the thought popped in my head a red blush covered my face.

  After the movie ended, we exited the theater still hand-in-hand. The outside warmth had gone away with the sun, and I shivered when the cool air hit my exposed skin. Henry wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close, and I smiled into his chest.

  As we reached the car, his posture stiffened. Looking up to see the cause, I followed his gaze to a red BMW with fogged windows. “Isn’t that Philip’s car?” I asked. I knew nothing about cars, but his license plate 1CHIRO had stuck in my mind. Henry nodded, his lips pinched. “Should we go say hi?” I pressed, wondering at his silence.

  He shook his head. “No, he looks busy.” I couldn’t figure out why was he so upset by the sight. Had he never steamed up car windows? Henry opened my car door, but he was quiet on the drive back. When we returned to the apartment complex, he still seemed distracted.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  He shook his head and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Yes, I’m sorry. I had a great time tonight.”

  “Me too.” I placed my hands on his chest and tilted my head up to him. He took a deep breath and squeezed my arms.