Case of the Holiday Hijinks

by Jeffrey M. Poole

  Several red and white throws had been placed on the back of the couches. Even the pictures on the walls looked as though they had been replaced because everywhere I looked I could see scenes of horse drawn sleds crossing snowy hills. The picture above the fireplace was of an idyllic Dickensian village, complete with cobblestone streets, horse drawn carriages, and gas-powered street lights.

  I moved closer to the picture and squinted at it. Yes, that sign over one of the business doors clearly said ‘Marley & Scrooge, with a big ‘X’ over Marley’s name. It was right out of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. How cool!

  “Where’d you find this?” I asked as I turned to Jillian.

  “Front closet,” she informed me. “That’s where all these pictures and paintings came from. You have quite a collection in there. I didn’t even use half of them.”

  “That closet isn’t that big,” I protested. “There’s no way I could have missed seeing it.”

  “There’s a storage bay just inside the closet,” Hannah helpfully supplied. “I almost missed it myself. I was hanging up my jacket when I saw it.”

  “Zachary? Would you give me a hand in the kitchen for just a second?”

  I looked up in time to see Jillian walk around the corner into the kitchen.

  “Sure.”

  “Thank you so much for going along with this,” Jillian whispered to me as soon as I came around the corner.

  “Hey, no problem,” I whispered back. “What’s going on? Is everything okay with Hannah?”

  “Is everything okay in there?” Hannah called from the front room. “Do you need any help with anything?”

  Thinking quickly, I smiled. I pulled out my cell.

  “What kind of pizza do you and Colin like? You guys have been such a tremendous help that pizza is on me tonight. What kind would you like?”

  Hannah appeared.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Not on our account.”

  I gave Hannah a neutral stare.

  “Hey, Colin?”

  The boy appeared.

  “Yes?”

  “What’s your favorite pizza?”

  “Pepperoni!”

  I winked at the kid, “Now we’re talking. Nice to meet someone else with awesome taste buds. What type does your mother like?”

  Colin made a face, “She likes those kinds with all the gunk in them. I wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole.”

  I laughed, “Let me guess. She likes combination pizzas?”

  Colin nodded, “Right.”

  I cast a glance at Hannah to confirm. She sighed and nodded her head. I looked at Jillian.

  “Are you good with those?”

  “I love combination pizzas,” Jillian said.

  “And you two are more than welcome to ‘em. Colin and I will have pepperoni, thank you very much.” I gave the boy a high five.

  The pizza was ordered. It arrived a half hour later. Sated, I sat back on the couch and watched Colin play with the dogs. Sherlock disappeared behind a recliner and reemerged with a tennis ball in his mouth. He gave a muffled bark and spit the ball at Colin’s feet. In moments both corgis were barking joyously at the bouncing ball and going ballistic every time it was thrown.

  “I never knew such small dogs had such loud barks,” Hannah observed.

  “I’ve told Zachary that corgis are essentially big dogs wrapped up in small dog packages,” Jillian said.

  Hannah laughed, “What an apt description!”

  I had just taken a long pull on my beer when the topic of conversation turned dark.

  “So are you going to be okay?” Jillian asked as she turned towards Hannah.

  Both were sitting on the couch with me. I was on Jillian’s left while Hannah was on her right. I tapped Jillian on her shoulder.

  “Would you like me to leave for this?”

  Hannah shook her head, “No. Zack, please stay. I think I’d like a man’s opinion here.” She took another swig from her own beer before she continued. Her voice dropped so that her son couldn’t overhear her. “As you have no doubt noticed, you’re not catching Colin and me at our best.”

  “I gathered as much,” I said. “Are you and Colin okay?”

  Hannah nodded, “We will be.” She sighed. “Where to start. Well, I guess it would have started early this morning.”

  “What happened this morning?” Jillian wanted to know.

  “Dylan and I got into a huge fight.”

  “About what?” Jillian asked.

  “He told me that he was going out of town.”

  Jillian groaned, “He does that all the time. You’d think he’d want to spend more time with you and Colin.”

  “He’s going to be gone over Christmas,” Hannah quietly added. She pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “If you could’ve seen the look on Colin’s face when his father broke the news to him. It was devastating. It broke my heart.”

  “Then why is the asshole ditching his family on a major holiday?” I asked in a low voice. “What kind of moron does that?”

  Both women turned to regard me as though I was the dumbest thing on two legs.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I suspect Dylan is having an affair,” Hannah said miserably.

  Shit. Maybe I was the dumbest thing on two legs. I should’ve seen that coming.

  “You know my thoughts on this matter,” Jillian matter-of-factly said.

  Hannah nodded, “I do. Zack? What’s your take on all of this?”

  I set my beer down on the coffee table and was silent as I considered. I stared into the depths of my bottle as I searched for the proper thing to say. After a few minutes had passed I cleared my throat.

  “Not everyone appreciates – or understands – what being a family is all about,” I slowly began. “I don’t know if I’m the right one to ask about this particular subject but I will tell you what I’ve discovered about myself.” I was silent for another minute. “Families are supposed to spend their time together. They’re supposed to want to be together, especially for the holidays. You’re supposed to look forward going home to see everyone, but do I? The answer is no. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been pushing my family away ever since Samantha died.”

  “Who’s Samantha?” Hannah quietly asked.

  “His wife,” Jillian whispered.

  Hannah was understandably horrified.

  “Oh, no. I never knew! Zachary, I’m so sorry!”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said, shaking my head. “You didn’t know her. Talking about… about Sam’s death is not something I enjoy doing.”

  “Then you certainly don’t have to now,” Hannah assured me. “I wouldn’t want to…”

  “It’s okay,” I interrupted. “The point I was trying to make is that ever since Samantha died I’ve noticed I’ve been pushing my family away, even though I’m sure they’re only trying to help. What other son would scowl every time his mother calls?”

  “Why do you think you’ve been pushing them away?” Jillian softly asked.

  “I don’t know. I guess I’m afraid of facing them. Since Samantha died I’ve only seen them once, and that was at her funeral. I haven’t really talked to them about this and I know I should. It’s just that I feel so guilty.”

  “Guilty about what?” Hannah wanted to know.

  Just then a yellow tennis ball bounced by us with two corgis in hot pursuit. Colin appeared. He was sprinting after them, laughing hysterically. They hit the tile in the front entry and went skidding out of sight. We could all hear maniacal barking and a mad scrambling as both dogs struggled to stay in pursuit of the ball.

  I shook my head, “Dogs. You asked what I had to feel guilty about. That’s easy. Sam’s death. She told me she had errands to run. If only I had gone with her then she might still be alive.”

  “Or the both of you could be dead,” Jillian observed. “There’s no point in second-guessing yourself, Zachary. There’s
nothing you could’ve done except possibly get yourself killed, too.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking,” Hannah hesitantly said, “could you tell me how she died?”

  “Car accident,” I answered. I took a deep breath and polished off my beer.

  “Bad weather?” Hannah asked.

  I shook my head, “It was Phoenix. It was sunny. The only conclusion I was ever given was that Samantha lost control of her car and it veered out into oncoming traffic. She was hit head-on by a semi. Thankfully she died instantly.”

  “She’s right,” Hannah said, nodding her head. “There’s absolutely nothing you could have done. Whether or not you were driving was irrelevant. The car malfunctioned and it swerved out into traffic. Jillian is right. It’s not your fault.”

  “You may be right,” I told the girls. “It still hurts, though. So, since I took the long road around to answer your question, I’d like to think a man wouldn’t willingly abandon his wife and child on Christmas unless there was a damn good reason.”

  “Was there?” Jillian asked. “A reason, that is.”

  Hannah shook her head, “No. He never gave any explanation, only that he had someplace to be. And do you know what really hurts? He didn’t act that upset about it. I think this confirms my suspicions. He must be having an affair. It’s the only plausible explanation I can think of.”

  Hannah’s eyes filled, which resulted in sympathetic tears from Jillian.

  “I have no idea what we’re going to do for Christmas now,” Hannah continued. “I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to Colin. Even though Dylan is a jerk, I don’t want to be home alone on Christmas.”

  “I had no idea things were that bad,” Jillian whispered, pulling out yet another tissue from her purse. Seeing that Hannah could use a fresh tissue, too, she gave her friend hers and grabbed another for herself.

  “I have the perfect solution,” I announced.

  Jillian and Hannah looked at me, askance.

  “Come here. We’ll have one big party. We’ll have snacks, movies, and enough food to feed a…”

  “And games?” Jillian asked, clapping her hands delightedly.

  “Only if you agree to head up the entertainment department,” I told her.

  Jillian nodded, “Of course! Oh, this will be so much fun!”

  “I wouldn’t want to impose,” Hannah began.

  “Nonsense,” I stated, waving off her concerns. “Jillian will be here. So will my parents, since they were unsuccessful in guilting me to return to Phoenix. You can help act as a buffer. I know I need to level with them only I don’t want to have to worry about this. Not just yet. Will you help me, Hannah?”

  “And you don’t mind having Colin run around here?” Hannah dubiously asked.

  At that precise moment a horizontal tornado tore by us, consisting of one laughing boy and two pursing corgis.

  “Not at all,” I assured her. “Colin can be our duly designated dogsitter.”

  “Thank you, Zachary,” Hannah quietly said.

  “We are going to have so much fun!” Jillian announced, pulling a small notebook and pen from her purse. “Now, let’s get organized.”

  “What can I do?” Hannah asked. “You’ve got to let me do something.”

  While the two ladies plotted out the oncoming festivities, my thoughts turned to the string of burglaries that had befallen PV. Two families were going to have bleak Christmases, thanks to some thoughtless crook. I remembered the plans I had set in motion and smiled. Well, make that one family was going to be disappointed, and I’m fairly certain the retired doctor would be able to replace the missing gifts with other presents. It was the Murphy family who were the most in need.

  Not this Christmas season, I mentally vowed. If only they knew what was in store for them.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  I looked up and found Jillian’s soft eyes gazing into my own.

  “Nothing much. I was just thinking about the burglaries that happened in the last couple of days.”

  Jillian sighed, “Those poor families. Hopefully there weren’t any small children involved.”

  “The second burglary was at the home of a retired doctor,” I told the ladies. “While unfortunate, I’m sure he can afford to buy replacements.”

  “And the first?” Hannah whispered, certain she already knew the answer.

  “It was an apartment in the northern part of town. They had two small kids, a boy and a girl.”

  “Oh, no,” Jillian gasped. “I think I know the apartments you’re talking about. If they’re living there then they probably don’t…”

  “They don’t,” I confirmed, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence. “And don’t worry about them.”

  “How can we not?” Jillian asked. She pulled out her phone. “I’ve got a few calls to make. I’m certain we can pull together to give those kids a good Christmas.”

  “Absolutely,” Hannah agreed. “Their Christmas makes mine sound like a tropical getaway.”

  I laid my hand over Jillian’s, effectively blocking her phone from sight.

  “I said, you don’t need to worry about them.”

  “Zachary, if we don’t do something then…” Jillian paused as she looked at me, her eyes widening. “You did something. What did you do?”

  “Let’s just say that they have a secret Santa keeping an eye on them.”

  “What did you do?” Jillian repeated. “Maybe I can help.”

  “I want to help, too,” Hannah added.

  “I’m telling you, I’m really starting to love small towns,” I said as I smiled at each of them. “You’ll never find anyone in my old neighborhood doing this. I’ve got this covered, trust me. I’ve already spoken with Woody at Toy Closet. He’s going to pick out an assortment of toys for both the kids and even add in a few things for the parents. I allotted $200 but didn’t know if that was enough. I made Woody promise me he’d let me know if he went over. I’m also pretty sure that if he does then he still won’t tell me. Anyway, to finish the job, he’s going to have Zoe wrap them up.”

  Both women stared at me in utter silence.

  “Now, that covers the presents,” I continued, before either of them could say anything. “I also placed a call to Taylor, at Farmhouse Bakery. She’s going to organize a delivery of some cookies and cupcakes later today, with whatever else she sees fit to add to the order. I figured… what? What is it?”

  Both women were openly crying.

  “What’s wrong? I thought you guys would be happy. It’s the least I could do.”

  Jillian rose up from the couch and approached me. Uncertain of what was happening, I started to inch away. She pulled me into a hug and sobbed into my shoulder.

  “That has got to be the most generous act of kindness I have ever witnessed. You don’t know those people, do you?”

  I shook my head, “No. What does that have to do with it?”

  Hannah suddenly wrapped her arms around the two of us and it became a three-way hug. I waited in an awkward silence for a few moments while Jillian and Hannah composed themselves and finally broke the hug.

  “That’s so sweet, Zachary,” Hannah told me. “Why did you do it?”

  I shrugged, “Because it was the right thing to do, I guess. Christmas is, er, was my favorite time of year. I’d like to go back to enjoying the holidays again and the last thing I want to see is someone suffer during this time of year. I don’t know who is responsible for these burglaries but I sure as hell will do everything I can to help Vance find him.”

  “Did Sherlock find anything at the second burglary?” Jillian asked.

  I shook my head, “No. He kept fixating on the tree. He ignored the whole house and instead kept pulling me back to the decorated Christmas tree.”

  “Maybe he’s telling us we need to check out the trees,” Jillian suggested.

  “I thought about that, too,” I said. “Vance and I wanted to know if Sherlock was fascinated with al
l indoor trees so we ran an experiment.”

  “What kind of experiment?” Hannah wanted to know.

  “We went outside where a crowd of onlookers had gathered and asked if anyone would let us into their house so we could check out their tree.”

  “Did anyone volunteer?” Jillian asked.

  I shuddered, “Yes. Clara Hanson just happened to live next door.”

  Both Jillian and Hannah clapped their hands over their mouths. I shuddered again. Both women started giggling.

  “It’s not funny,” I scolded. “That lady creeps me out.”

  “So, what did Sherlock think of her tree?” Jillian asked. “Was he just as fascinated by it?”

  “Yep. The experiment was a bust. Sherlock only had eyes for the tree. That’s what made me get the tree over there today. I wanted to see if Sherlock would be just as fascinated with my own as he was with those others.”

  “And was he?” Hannah asked.

  I shook my head, “No. I can’t figure him out. He acted like he could care less. I thought maybe it was because it wasn’t decorated. Now, thanks to you two, the house is covered in decorations and the tree looks fantastic. However, I’ve also watched Sherlock run by that tree several times. He hasn’t even bothered to sniff it. So I’m thinking it was just a weird coincidence.”

  “I wonder how the thief got inside those houses,” Hannah mused aloud.

  “The first victim lived in an apartment,” I reminded her. “The second was a house.”

  “And there were no signs of forced entry?” Jillian asked, frowning. “There must be something we’re overlooking.”

  “Like what?” I asked. “No forced entry, no unlocked doors, and no open windows. How else would someone get inside?”

  “If the police are going to figure out who is behind these thefts then that’s where they need to start,” Jillian decided. “Identify which method the thief is using to get inside and they’ll be one step closer to catching him. Or her. You never know nowadays.”

  “How could they make it inside?” Hannah asked.

  The horizontal tornado passed by again, going at least Mach 3 without showing any signs of slowing down.

  “You’d think they’d run out of energy,” I mused.