Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  “I want to take you to do something, but how about you try one of the best hot dogs in the world first?” Max asked.

  “Lead the way.” I followed him as he stopped at a hot dog truck and got us one each and another coffee.

  We took our food to a row of seats facing the ice rink and ate as we watched both adults and children doing their best at gliding gracefully on the ice. Some were better than others, and all were one hundred percent better than me, I was sure of that since I’d only attempted ice skating a handful of times and never successfully.

  Ice rinks weren’t something we had in Portugal in abundance. Some shopping malls had a small rink around Christmas time, and everybody always tried their best, but I don’t remember seeing the same level of skill that I was observing in front of me. Besides, I was quite happy watching people and also very much attached to my limbs, thank you very much.

  I looked around, and on a seat near us, a father helped his two kids get their skates on. The little one, who couldn’t have been older than five-years-old, looked at me and smiled. His excitement was almost contagious.

  The dad noticed his son smiling and looked at us and smiled, too. I felt a tug in my heart as memories of the past and happier times flooded my mind.

  I turned back to Max. “Shall we have a look at the kiosks, or do you want to go somewhere?” I asked Max now that we had both finished our hot dogs.

  “We’re most definitely going somewhere.”

  “Where?”

  Max looked at the ice rink, then at me and grinned.

  “Fuck. No.”

  6

  Max

  Isaac’s shocked face was adorable. His blue-green eyes were wide open, and he looked like he was ready to bolt at any moment.

  “Come on, it’ll be fun.” I bumped my shoulder against his playfully.

  “I’ve only done this a few times, Max, and I really, absolutely, most definitely want to take both of my arms and legs back home with me,” Isaac said while putting his hands in his pockets as though that would nail him to the spot.

  “I’ll keep you safe. I’ve been skating for years,” I reassured and grabbed his arm, pulling him up from the seat toward the skate rental counter.

  I got us our skates and helped Isaac into his, making sure they were tight enough that he wouldn’t hurt himself if he slipped. Not that I had any intention of allowing that to happen.

  As a teenager, I often used skating as an escape during this season. It made me feel like a normal kid to be surrounded by the other people, almost as though we were all here together by design rather than by chance. It was also one of the few places where it was still free to skate.

  “Are you ready?” I asked Isaac.

  “Not in a million years,” he protested, looking around at the other people on the ice.

  “Okay, so I’m going to go first, then you can follow me. Start by holding onto the barrier until you have your balance.”

  I stepped inside the rink, loving the feeling of the razor-sharp skates on the ice, turned around, and held a hand for Isaac who followed me as instructed. I asked if he was okay, and he nodded. So far so good. Now it was time for the fun part.

  “Isaac, we’re going further into the rink,” I said.

  “What? Nooo, no. I can stay here on the side. You go. I’ll watch you.”

  He was gripping the barrier so hard I could imagine that his knuckles were white inside the gloves.

  “Look at me, Isaac,” I said, placing a hand on his arm, which made him look up at me. “Hold my hands. Both my hands. Open your legs hip wide, bend your knees slightly, and let your chest be your center of gravity.”

  Isaac did as I said, keeping his eyes pinned to mine. I bent my legs and pushed the edges of the blades in the right motion to create momentum to go backward. Isaac followed me slowly by going forward as I pulled him toward me.

  He looked very unsure, glancing around at the other people as though he would inevitably crash into someone. He was holding on to my hands with such a tight grip that it was almost painful. We picked up a little speed around the rink, him going forward and me backward, and after a little while, I could finally feel him relax into the motion of the skates on the ice.

  “Oh my god, I’m skating! This is incredible.” Isaac looked so excited, his face a picture of child-like happiness and innocence.

  I remembered the first time I went skating. I’d fallen on my ass a few times but had had the best time. I could see the same reflected in Isaac’s expression, his eyes coming more alive, if that was even possible, his cheeks pink from the cold. I couldn’t help looking down at his lips, plump and slightly parted with his breath coming out in small clouds.

  I was so distracted looking at Isaac’s mouth wondering if I’d have my ass handed to me if I kissed him that I didn’t see the small child skating in our direction. One moment, my eyes were on Isaac, and the next, I was looking at the sky with Isaac on top of me. He was lighter than I expected, but I can’t deny his weight on me felt good. Really fucking good.

  “All you had to do was ask, you know?” I winked, wrapping my arms around him. “You okay?”

  Isaac looked at me, first in shock that we were no longer vertical, and then something passed through his eyes. Something that appeared a lot like lust. I knew I was attracted to Isaac almost from the moment I saw him, so maybe he felt the same way.

  “Max,” he hesitated. “I—” Isaac didn’t have a chance to say anything more before we were interrupted.

  “Are you okay there?” a female voice shouted at us from the edge of the rink. I looked up to see one of the safety team personnel checking on us. I waved to say we were okay and helped Isaac to his feet.

  “Are you guys okay?” a male voice much closer asked. “I’m so sorry. Brian here gets so excited when we come skating that he forgets there are other people around.” He looked down at the small boy who was now looking sheepishly down at his skates.

  “Hi, Brian,” I spoke to the boy, kneeling down to his level. “Can I tell you a secret?” He looked at me and nodded. “When I’m skating, I also forget about the other people because I’m having so much fun.” I winked at him, which earned me a smile.

  “I think it’s about time for us to leave the rink to the professionals, anyway.” I ruffled Brian’s hair and then reached out and held Isaac’s hand again. He’d taken his gloves off, so I could feel his warm fingers on mine.

  It was time to leave, so I turned around and pulled Isaac toward the edge of the rink.

  “Have a great Christmas!” I shouted back at Brian and his dad.

  We left the rink to exchange the skates for our shoes before heading out of the Winter Village toward one of the most iconic buildings in New York.

  “Thank you, Max.” Isaac said, touching my arm as I was tying my shoelaces.

  “What for?”

  “I’m having a great time,” he said. “Except for the fall, ice skating was incredible!”

  My chest filled with pride for myself for planning this activity, but also for Isaac and that he’d enjoyed doing something he was initially afraid to do.

  Isaac was slowly etching himself into that spot inside me that was normally unoccupied. Other than my best friend Joel, most guys I spent time with only wanted one thing. Isaac was different, and I could already feel that when he left tomorrow, a little part of me would go with him, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  At most, I had hoped spending time with Isaac would lead to some fun of the naked variety later, but the longer I spent with him, the more I was afraid of what that would do to me, and that I would want more.

  “I’m glad,” I replied. “I don’t get to be a tourist in my city often. This is fun for me, too, and now, time for the next stop on Max's Special Christmas Tour!” I flourished with my arms wide open.

  “I’m right behind you,” Isaac said with a wink.

  I raised a brow. Was he openly flirting? God, I fucking hoped so.

  7
r />   Isaac

  What the fuck was I doing? Had I almost kissed Max earlier? And why was I flirting with him now? For the love of Christmas trees, I didn’t even know if he was gay.

  I mean, he was really nice to me, and his eyes sometimes went that dark brown that looked like they could devour me whole. But what did I know? It had been such a long time since I’d been with someone that I wasn’t sure I could spot interest if it squeezed my butt and stroked my dick.

  We were walking past all the shops with Christmas display windows. Some had Christmas music blaring so loud we could hear it from the street.

  Max was saying something about pretzels. Street-bought pretzels were better than shop-bought pretzels? I didn’t know because my thoughts were going back and forth between the present and that moment earlier when I looked at Max’s eyes and thought I could see all the way into his soul. Why was he spending his day off with a stranger he knew nothing about?

  “We’re here.”

  I barely registered Max talking to me until he stopped.

  “What?” I looked up at Max who was staring back at me as though he couldn’t figure me out. Considering my thoughts had boarded a train to an unknown destination, I was struggling to figure myself out, as well.

  “This looks suspiciously like the Empire State Building,” I gasped, finally noticing where we’d stopped.

  Max laughed, and it was as though it came from a place deep in his chest. It sounded warm and whole, like the place you’d want to go to hide from the world.

  “Let’s have a look inside.” He winked, his smile making my legs turn to jelly.

  I followed Max toward the building in complete bewilderment. When we got inside, I looked around the large lobby. Could you be starstruck for a building? I think the answer was a resounding yes from me.

  “We have an Express ticket, so we can check out the gift shop first if you want.”

  “We what?” I exclaimed. “We’re going up?” I didn’t believe my eyebrows had ever been that high up on my forehead.

  Max was grinning at me, and I couldn’t help but reach to him for a quick hug.

  I only wanted to express my gratitude, but now I had my arms around him and felt stupidly self-conscious. Who just throws themselves at people like that? I removed myself from Max’s embrace and felt heat creep up my spine all the way to my neck as I started walking toward the gift shop.

  I didn’t dare look at him in case he realized my embarrassment, but a few seconds later, Max touched my shoulder, so I turned around to see him wearing a pair of novelty glasses with little Empire State Buildings on either side of the frame.

  He held up a tie that had a picture of the building on a rainy day. “I think you should buy this,” he said. “What do you think?”

  “Mmm, it’s not really my type.”

  “Oh, what is your type, Isaac?” He came closer to me, but I couldn’t see his eyes behind the glasses.

  You, Max, you are my type. That’s what I wanted to say, but instead, I grabbed a small snow globe from the shelf and showed it to Max. “I like this little one. I can take home my own mini Empire State Building.”

  We walked to the cashier and I paid for my snow globe while Max bought the silly glasses.

  Moments later, we joined the express line to the elevator. Max held his phone up to someone with a scanner, and within twenty minutes, we were on our way.

  I was pretty sure I was living someone else’s life because there was no way that I was going up the Empire State Building. Nope, stuff like this didn’t happen to me.

  The elevator was full of people, probably tourists, all wanting to experience something they’d seen countless times in the cinema.

  “Is this real? I feel like I’m in a movie.” I whispered to Max, who was standing next to me and leaning against the back wall of the elevator.

  Max laughed again. God, I liked that laugh. He leaned closer and murmured. “Would you like it to be a movie?”

  “No, I want this to be real life, but knowing my luck, in a minute, Alex is going to throw a bucket of cold water on me and I’ll wake up. That’s something he would do,” I said matter-of-factly. Then I whispered, “Max, don’t let him, please. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.”

  I didn't often do things for myself, but today definitely counted as doing something for myself.

  I was looking into Max’s eyes, and in that split second, they went from warm to stone-cold, and he leaned away from me. Only slightly, but enough that I could no longer feel the warmth of his body. There it was. The fucking bucket of water. Ice. Cold. Water.

  Suddenly, the silence between us felt so heavy that I almost felt as though I couldn’t stand on my own feet.

  What the hell did you do now, Isaac? Fuck if I knew, but this now felt like the longest elevator ride, and my chest was pounding. I needed fresh air. Why did I suddenly feel like I had been rejected by Max? Why did it matter? It’s not like anything was going to happen between us.

  The elevator door opened onto the main deck on the eighty-sixth floor, and the cold air hit me immediately. I was hoping for fresh air, but I wasn’t aware that this was an open-air space. I struggled to breathe in the cold air and coughed a couple of times.

  Once my lungs adjusted to the temperature, it wasn’t too bad. I was healing pretty quickly from yesterday’s smoke inhalation, and it was only when I spoke that my unrecognizable voice reminded me of what happened, even though I could hear it getting better.

  There were dozens of people here, all gathering around the outer edges. Everybody had a camera in their hand. From smart cameras to big lens cameras and mobile phones, everyone was trying to capture a little bit of the magic of the Big Apple to take home. I walked around, admiring the effect that the changing light that the sun had from each side.

  I looked behind to see where Max was. There weren’t a lot of people around the inside, but it still wouldn’t be hard to lose sight of him. I realized then I didn’t have his phone number, so if we were separated, I couldn’t get in touch.

  I also wondered if Max would want to keep in touch once I went home. Probably not. I mean, I didn’t live in New York, so why would he want to stay in touch with me? He was probably just doing this for a bit of fun and as a favor to Dorian.

  Max was just behind me, looking past me toward the horizon. I turned to where he was looking, hoping to catch what had him lost in thought when he spoke for the first time since we arrived on this floor.

  “Time to go. We have to take the other elevator.” Max's voice was flat as if he wasn’t enjoying himself anymore.

  I followed him feeling a little deflated. We’d had so much fun earlier. There had definitely been a connection between us. Unsure of what to say, I entered the elevator behind Max and settled against the back wall allowing some people to stand in front of me facing the door.

  The top deck on the one hundred and second floor was even better than the main deck. To start with, there were fewer people around, which allowed us to go right to the front where glass panels surrounded the deck instead of metal bars. We walked around once until Max stopped me by putting a hand on my shoulder.

  “Here,” he said. I settled against the glass, crossing my arms over my chest looking out toward the sun as it was setting. The outline of the buildings was becoming more visible the further down the sun went, leaving a dark rainbow of colors on the horizon.

  Max settled next to me, resting his hands inside his pockets. I could feel the tension radiating from his body as he looked at the city below us.

  “Isaac.” He inhaled deeply as though he was considering what to say next. “Alex,” he exhaled heavily, running his hands through his hair. This was something he seemed to do often as a physical outlet for whatever was going on inside his head.

  “What about Alex?” I was confused.

  “Who is he?”

  “My brother,” I said, wondering why Max was asking about him.

  With his body right next to mine,
I could feel every movement he made, and the tension disappearing from his taller frame was as palpable as it was audible.

  “Isaac,” he repeated, this time moving, but only to turn me around so I could face him. He was only a few inches taller than me, so he framed my body perfectly.

  He looked from my eyes to my lips and back to my eyes again. I felt warm, both because the remaining sun was now behind me, and in anticipation, because I was hoping Max would kiss me.

  He stepped closer again, putting his hands on each of my arms, our bodies touching, hard and warm. I had to look up at him. His eyes were like beacons of light trained on my lips, and I couldn’t help but lick them. I wasn’t teasing, I just didn’t know how to deal with the intensity of his gaze.

  I closed my eyes, frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I didn’t dare break the moment. His forehead came to rest against mine.

  “Isaac, are you—”

  I didn’t let him finish. I knew what he was going to ask and knew exactly how I was going to answer.

  8

  Max

  My long hours at the hospital and the volunteer work I did took up most of my time, and my best friend Joel took up the rest, so it wasn’t often that I found myself so enthralled by another person, but Isaac had something special. We’d had a fun day out and didn’t get too personal, but I felt a kinship with him that I couldn’t explain.

  After our near-miss at the ice rink, I was determined to explore this strange chemistry between us. I call it near miss because I didn’t quite get to do what I wanted, which was to hold him tighter and kiss him right there and then.

  Again, once we got to the Empire State Building, I could have just taken him right on the front steps as he looked at me with his star-struck eyes like I made dreams come true. We had fun at the gift store until he mentioned someone called Alex during the elevator ride.