Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  She just stood there, taking Max’s words in.

  “What did they say when your perfectly behaved child stopped going to church? Did you tell them what happened? Or did you make up some story about your studious son who was going to be a big hotshot lawyer in the city?”

  He let out a half-laugh and turned to take my hand. I jumped over the partition to stand next to him.

  “I actually have to thank you, and I probably need to thank that man over there, too.” He pointed to his dad.

  “I went to hell and back at a time in my life when most of my friends were playing video games and their only worry was who was going to host the next slumber party. I had to lie to survive, and I became so good at lying that I carried on doing it even when I didn’t need to do it anymore, and to the people I loved the most in my life, but I’m going to change that and fix it all. Don’t contact us unless it’s through my lawyer.”

  Veronica was speechless as she turned around to meet her husband. He didn’t even look our way as they left the courtroom.

  I pulled Max into my arms for a hug.

  “Baby, I am so damned proud of you.”

  He kissed me briefly before saying, “I feel like I could sleep for a week, but I want to celebrate.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  We turned to Fernando, Diogo, Micah, and Peter. “Hey, guys, do you want to get something to eat and celebrate?” I said.

  There was a collective yes, so we made a move to leave the courtroom.

  Peter went to the judge’s chambers before joining us outside.

  “So the judge is a family friend?” I asked.

  “Yup, my future mother-in-law, and it looks like we’re hosting Thanksgiving this year.” He laughed.

  Peter knew a bar not far from the courthouse that served meals at lunchtime. We were lucky it wasn’t very busy so we were able to put a few tables together to make sure we all fit.

  Everybody picked their seat and grabbed a menu. Max pulled our chairs together so they were touching. I couldn’t have agreed more with his idea. Diogo and Lucy were sitting next to each other, and even though Lucy was chatting to Micah, who I now knew she’d known since she was a baby, Diogo had a possessive hold on her hand.

  “Look, baby,” I whispered in Max’s ear so he’d look at the teenagers.

  For a moment, I thought he was going to go all big brother on them, but he smiled and then turned to me, giving me a light kiss on the lips. “They do make a really cute couple, don’t they?”

  “Uh-huh.” I nodded.

  I looked around the rest of the table and realized that we hadn’t actually made any introductions. It didn’t seem necessary with Fernando and Peter who were busy chatting about legal stuff.

  It took a ridiculous amount of time for everyone to decide what they wanted to eat. It felt like a true family get together, and I hoped this would be the first of many.

  Once the server left us, possibly to take some headache pills before putting our order through, Max got up.

  “Can I have your attention, please?” Once everybody was looking at him, he sat down again and took my hand.

  “I feel like the last twenty-four hours have been a crazy rollercoaster, but before I say what I want to say, I’d like to make sure we all know each other.” He laughed and looked at me. “Micah, this is Isaac, the guy whose strength and courage I’ve been stealing for the last week. I don’t think I could have done any of this without him.”

  Then he introduced Fernando and Diogo. I didn’t miss how Micah looked at Fernando. From his statement earlier, it seemed that Micah had been in love with Lucy’s mom, but maybe he was also into men. I didn’t know if Fernando was gay, but he was definitely oblivious to Micah’s gaze while he talked to Peter.

  The food was delicious, and after being awake for over twenty-four hours, I felt that I could fall asleep right there in the restaurant, leaning against Max’s warm, broad shoulders.

  “So what happens now?” Fernando asked.

  We all looked at Peter.

  “Legally, it’s all about filing the right paperwork to make sure things like the child support payments are set up to the account Max wants them to go to, and ensuring Max is listed on all the important things that relate to Lucy, including the trust fund. It’s really just boring administration. The exciting stuff is over.”

  “I can live without that kind of excitement,” Max said, and I raised my glass in agreement.

  “Lucy will go back to school now and work on catching up with what she missed, and I guess we’ll have to go shopping to make her room a little more personal,” Max said to her.

  “What do you say, Lucy?”

  “Hell yeah!” She high-fived Max.

  “Max, I’ve gotta say I never pictured you as the kind of guy who’d attend a PTA evening before,” Peter said.

  “Hey, I’m a male nurse. The moms are gonna love me.”

  “As long as the dads keep their hands on the moms,” I added.

  “Maybe not all the dads.” Max’s eyes on me were dark, piercing and full of desire.

  “No!” Lucy shouted with her hands covering her ears and her eyes shut.

  There was a collective laugh from the adults and more groans from the teenagers.

  “Oh fuck, damn, fuck…” I was trying to be quiet, but with Max hitting my prostate with every thrust, I was not only losing control of my body, I was also losing control of my mind and my mouth.

  “Shhh, baby, keep quiet. I can’t get the shower to run any louder,” Max said in my ear.

  I wanted to direct my swearing at him, but I couldn’t when everything he was doing was making me feel was so damned good.

  “Jesus Christ, you’re killing me.”

  He withdrew from me and turned me around so my back was against the tiles. In a swift move, he picked me up, so I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on to his shoulders.

  When he entered me again, it was like the first time we’d been together, only better. The way Max moved inside me, the way he looked into my eyes, was like he knew me body and soul. I’d never thought I’d have this with another person because I didn’t think it could exist outside of fairy tales and Hallmark movies, but here we were.

  “Max, I’m gonna come.” I bit into his neck, knowing I’d leave a small mark, but I didn’t care. His neck was by far one of my favorite parts of his body, so much so that I was wondering how he’d hide his love bites when summer came because he always had a few thanks to my small obsession.

  He pushed my ass cheeks apart as though it would get him further inside me than he already was. He was all the way in. It was simultaneously too much and not enough to carry me over the edge.

  “Come for me, baby,” he ordered as he changed the angle of his thrusts so that he increased the friction on my cock caused by our bodies pressing together.

  Ropes of white cum spilled between us as I came as hard as I always did with Max. I took his mouth for a searing kiss and to drown out his sounds as he came deep inside me.

  “I love you so much,” I said as I sucked on his lips, “but, babe, we’re going to have to make this shower bigger... and soundproof the walls.”

  We turned the shower off and started drying each other. I wrapped a towel around my waist and sat on the counter, pulling Max to me so we could towel each other’s hair dry. He had a weird thing about my curly hair and loved when it was wet.

  “Lucy has a school trip in December for a few days. How about we go hide in the Hamptons?” Max said.

  “That sounds like an excellent idea. We can do some window shopping, go for walks on the beach—” I said before he interrupted me with a kiss.

  “Stay indoors and have sex all day.”

  I chuckled. “Check out the local coffee shops.”

  “Have sex in all the rooms.”

  “No sex. You’re going to show me the Hamptons.” I went in for another kiss, but he pulled back.

  “But, baby…” he said, trapping his l
ower lip between his teeth and drawing a pattern with his finger on my naked chest until he reached my nipple and pulled on it.

  I slapped his hand away, grabbed his head with both hands trapping him between my legs, and went for his bottom lip, sucking it until he started kissing me back.

  “Fine. We can have sex in all the rooms, but I also want to do some sightseeing and buy some Christmas presents.”

  We didn’t need to be worried about the noise we’d made in our bathroom because Lucy was in her room listening to some music, despite talking on the phone with her headphones. We didn’t need to guess twice about who she was talking to.

  Since the day Max got custody of Lucy, everything had been perfect at home.

  Lucy had loved going shopping for stuff for her room, even though she’d been quite shy initially and didn’t want to fuss or get anything too expensive.

  Max and I agreed that buying something more expensive but of better quality was a good investment. His spare room had been sparsely furnished with just the bed, bedside table, and a chest of drawers, so we bought an additional two-person couch, a desk, and a chair.

  Once those arrived, we did an additional shopping expedition to buy all the little things Lucy wanted. Her room was her sanctuary in a way, and it now reflected her personality perfectly.

  The relationship between Max and I was stronger than ever and having Lucy with us made it all better. She was a smart and kind young woman, and it was a privilege to see her flourish without fear or having to remain invisible.

  The one thing Max hadn’t done was talk to Joel about his past. I knew it was weighing heavy on him to keep the secret from his best friend, but I was running out of ways in which to encourage him.

  Lucy had had an idea that I’d dismissed initially, thinking Max would kill me if I did it, but as the weeks progressed and he wasn’t closer to having that conversation, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

  Shelly and Jacki, Max’s colleagues from the hospital, had been an amazing help with trying to get the practical stuff arranged, and Fernando had been really generous with his support, too.

  Tonight, with Lucy’s help, I was going to tell Max that we had flights booked to go to Portugal for a few days over the Thanksgiving weekend since he already had time off work.

  The excuse was that I needed to do some work stuff with the Foundation and was missing my family, but in reality, it was a poorly disguised excuse for Max to see Joel.

  I knew he’d see right through me, but I hoped he loved me enough to know it came from the right place in my heart. The place that felt that until this chapter in Max’s life was closed, he wouldn’t really move forward.

  40

  Max

  I knew what Isaac had done was with the best intention, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was being strong-armed into doing something I wasn’t ready for.

  It wasn’t fair having this conversation in front of Lucy, so I gave Isaac a pointed look to follow me to our bedroom.

  “What the fuck, Isaac. Why are you pushing me to do this?”

  “I’m not pushing you. You don’t have to talk to Joel, but baby, I know you will feel so much better if you do,” he said.

  I’d paced the room in the same way I’d done the day Lucy appeared at the apartment.

  “And how about Lucy? You know she doesn’t have a passport. How fucking responsible of us to leave a teenager on her own while we go away.” I felt panic rising in my chest.

  “Fernando is happy to look after her for the weekend, and she’s looking forward to spending some time with Diogo.”

  “This is my decision to make, if and when I’m ever ready. Don’t you understand? Joel will never speak to me again when he finds out I lied all those years. He’ll never forgive me.”

  Isaac looked like he’d been punched.

  “I’m… I’m sorry, Max.”

  “Me too,” I’d said before I’d put some clothes in a duffle bag and left the apartment without even looking at Isaac.

  It had been the first time we’d had a real fight, and I hadn’t known how to navigate it, so I ended up going to Peter and asking if I could stay with him for a couple of nights. Isaac had been heartbroken when I called him to say I wasn’t coming home, but I’d explained I just needed to get my head around the fact I was going to have to face my fears and tell Joel about what had happened to me as a teenager.

  It wasn’t just about sharing a little secret; it was about confessing that I’d been lying to him for virtually the whole time he’d known me. Isaac didn’t understand why I couldn’t do this with him, why I’d had to leave to get my head straight. I couldn’t explain, either. I just needed the space.

  When I came back home, things were different. Isaac was distant and started spending a lot more time at work. He made excuses, saying that he wanted to make sure Dorian and Jean-Paul knew everything was running smoothly.

  Lucy had also started spending a lot more time in her bedroom or with Diogo, and she was quieter, like she was afraid all the time.

  My relationship with Isaac would be resolved at some point. I just hoped it wasn’t too late. I also needed to apologize to Lucy, so I took her out one afternoon and shared some of the stuff I was afraid of. I knew she’d understand, and I was right. Most of all, it was about making sure she felt safe in our relationship. I wasn’t going to get rid of her like she’d feared because she was stuck with me as her big brother forever.

  After she forgave me for being an asshole, she told me to make things right with Isaac. I told her I’d planned to do just that as soon as I’d spoken to Joel.

  Isaac had been very quiet on the flight to Lisbon. He’d barely spoken a word, and I was pretty sure that when he hadn’t been watching movies with the headphones on, he’d been pretending to be asleep.

  I wanted to reach out and take his hand, lace his fingers with mine.

  I’d been so selfish taking so much all the time, and even when he’d given me more, I’d thrown it all in his face.

  I had a plan of my own, but it had to wait until we got back to Manhattan.

  Joel waved to get my attention as we walked with our suitcases down the ramp at arrivals. David was standing behind him talking to Alex. I waved back, glad to see them again.

  “Hey, guys, it’s great to see you,” I said as I hugged everyone in turn.

  “So,” Joel said, not beating around the bush, “why the sudden trip?”

  “I have some stuff to do at the Foundation that I’d planned before I left for New York, so I had to come back for that, and it’ll give Max a chance to see you guys before Christmas.”

  I nodded.

  “Okay then, shall we go?” David asked.

  Isaac pulled me aside.

  “I’m going with Alex. I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

  He kissed me on the cheek and said his goodbyes to Joel and David before leaving us.

  I was unable to move as Isaac left with his brother. That didn’t feel like a forever goodbye, did it? He said he’d see me in a few days. What did that mean? We were due to fly back in three days. Did he mean that he’d see me back here at the airport?

  “Max.” I heard the worry in Joel’s voice. “What’s going on?”

  “Can you take me to your apartment? I’ll explain everything when we get there.”

  I didn’t say much in the car on the way to the apartment. I was hurt from seeing Isaac leave with Alex. As much as I’d insisted this was something I had to do on my own, now I didn’t know how I was going to do this without him.

  “I’ll leave you to catch up while I go to the café,” David said. “I promised Filipe I’d let him decorate some cupcakes with me today.” David kissed Joel and then left us alone.

  I hadn’t thought I was going to have to do this right after landing. Not that I was tired because the adrenaline alone was making me pace up and down Joel’s living room.

  “Max, you’re worrying me. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

&nb
sp; “I have something to tell you.” I sat down next to him and held his hand. “It may change our relationship forever and that scares the hell out of me. You’ve been my family for such a long time.”

  I wiped the tears that ran down my face. Joel squeezed my hands but didn’t move. I was glad for that because if he hugged me, even for comfort, I was pretty sure I was going to break down and never tell him anything.

  “Max, you’re not like a brother to me, you are a brother to me. You’ve been there for everything that was important in my life, the good and the bad. Whatever is it, I can assure you it will not change our relationship.”

  I thought back to some of the moments we’d had together, the ones that weren’t tainted by lies. The time he’d told me that the guy he was crushing on had asked him out in high school. The time at university when I’d had a horrible flu and he’d made me stay in the dorm room for a week while he’d looked after me and had made sure I got all the lecture notes from my classmates.

  “Joel, do you remember when you came out to your parents?”

  “Of course.”

  “They were so amazing, and they told me after that I never needed to come out to them. If I ever wanted to bring a girlfriend or boyfriend to join us for dinner, all I needed to do was ask. They had been so amazing that I decided to come out to my parents, too.”

  “You never talked much about your parents.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d noticed.

  “That’s because they kicked me out when I came out, and I haven’t seen them until recently.”

  “What?” Joel sat back in shock, his eyes wide as he considered the ramifications of my statement.

  “I was on the street that first night. It was the scariest night of my life, Joel, but then this guy took me to an abandoned building and gave me a safe place to stay.”

  “Why—”

  I put my hands up to interrupt the questions I knew he wanted to ask.

  “This next bit is really tough for me, so I’m going to need you to just listen, okay?”