by Belle Aurora
And I was lost to him. Forever and always.
My tee shifted as my hips began to move, his hard cock grazing my bare hip.
It was too much. It wasn’t enough. I didn’t know what I needed, only that Vik was the only person who could provide it.
I panted out, “I need to feel you,” struggling to lift the hem of my tee. Once I lifted it high enough, Vik reached out, and with a single tug of my bra, my breasts were freed.
The moment our bodies met, skin on skin, the intensity of the connection rose tenfold.
Vik groaned, then pulled back a second to growl out, “More.”
With a firm yank, my yoga pants were bunched around my knees. He put his hand flat against my stomach, his fingertips dipping into the elastic of my plain black panties. Slipping under the flimsy material, inside to touch my blazing flesh, the moment I felt him there, my lids fluttered closed.
When next I focused, I found his darkened, hooded gaze on me. He gently rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves, and my face contorted. He grinned knowingly.
This man knew what he was doing. He spent years studying every inch of my body. Finding my every erogenous zone. Discovering every secret, some of which I hadn’t known myself.
He was a master musician, and I was his instrument.
I panted softly as he kept up his attentions, and once that feeling grew, I tried to spread my legs, to feel him closer, deeper, but my pants left no give.
Vik simply said, “Easy, baby.”
It was easy, so easy to give in to his gentle orders and promising caress. That buzzing, restless sensation washed over me. Lips parted, my brow lowered as my hips moved to meet his touch, intensifying the stir.
His head dipped, and he kissed me roughly before he pulled back and uttered, “I’ve got you.”
My pussy tightened.
“Oh God. I need this,” I whispered.
Then it began to pulse.
I’m sorry.
I’m miserable without you.
Give me your stubborn, vicious heart.
I need you. Just you.
My raw, hidden emotions had the blissful sensations deepening.
Vik looked after me, circling my clit, applying the slightest amount of pressure before saying tenderly, “I know you do, kiska. I need it too.”
And when it hit, it hit.
My body went rigid, my face twisted, and my mouth rounded as my orgasm landed like a blow to the torso. My breathing stuttered. I whimpered and squirmed, rocking against the pads of his fingers, and when it got to be too much, Vik circled my back and cupped my mound, allowing me to ride out the overwhelming bliss in my own time.
I had the strangest feeling I would regret it, like I had last time. But as the pleasure faded, all I was left feeling was a light, flowing exhilaration.
Sated, my sleepy gaze went to the man with the golden touch, and when I found him searching my face, his jaw tight, as if he also feared my regret, my love for him overshadowed all else.
Of all the things I could accuse him of, Viktor Nikulin gave of himself what he had to give. No more, no less. And I was one of the lucky few who he offered the majority to.
And, in that moment, it seemed cruel to demand more than that.
He kept his heart guarded, wrapped in barbed wire, and perhaps that was why he couldn’t offer it. So, I would offer him mine in the hopes that my love would help heal him.
He leaned in and touched his lips to my slack mouth, letting it linger. Sliding my hands over his collarbone, down his pecs, farther still past his firm but twitching stomach, I peered down at his angry erection before looking back up. Our eyes met, and when I took the length of him into my hand, he let out a harsh, shaking breath as his body turned lax.
To be able to affect him like this, after all these years, shot a heavy dose of arrogance through me.
My eyes, heavy with lust, locked onto his heated gaze as I started an up and down motion, slow at first, then building up pace. Vik’s stomach clenched, and his lip curled in the same pain-like pleasure I myself had just experienced. His breathing got heavy, and when he spoke, rough and coarse, I faltered in my motions. “Think about you every second of every day. Touch my cock and wish it was your mouth I was fucking instead of my palm.” A needy sound vibrated in his chest. His lids closed, and his face twisted as I renewed my efforts. “Nothing compares, baby. Nothing. It’s you. It’s only you.”
Oh… shit.
His words did things to me. Unspeakable things.
They were a gentle caress against my heart while equally fucking me hard, and my pussy clenched.
He shuddered out an exhale. “I’m close.”
I wanted to please him. I wanted to provide him what he did me. So, as gracefully as I could, I shuffled down the length of his body.
“Where are you going?” he asked, mildly confused.
But I was pretty sure he got his answer when my hand circled his cock and my tongue darted out to lick away the bead of precum that appeared at the head.
“Oh fuck,” he hissed.
And I smiled cunningly, loving the power he gave me with so few words.
His hands came to tangle in my hair just as I lowered my mouth, taking half his length in one mouthful. He tasted so good. Hot, clean, and wholly male. And when I sucked, then retreated before taking more of him into my wet mouth, he looked down at me from under the sheets with a marred brow and pouting lips, gripping the back of my neck, then commenced thrusting lightly against my slick, warm tongue.
Maybe I was alone on this ledge, but I loved to suck dick.
There was nothing that made me feel sexier than looking up into a man’s face while he lost his ever-loving mind over my mouth’s capabilities. And right now, with the way Vik was looking at me, all edgy and restless, I felt hotter than hell.
When his head fell back and he muttered, “Oh shit,” I knew he was close. Then his fingers knotted roughly in the hair at my nape, pulling me back and forth as he thrust keenly into my mouth, and I gathered he only had a short time before he made a hefty deposit down my throat.
His movements turned erratic, and he let out a strained, “Yeah. Take it, baby.”
Seconds later, his body tensed, his hands tightened in my hair hard enough to make me wince, and he stilled, letting out a rough grunt as his cock began to jerk fitfully in my mouth. I tasted the salty bitterness of his cum and somehow calmed tremendously. I swallowed the gift he gave me. His body slackened, and as he fell back into the pillows, he slipped free from my demanding mouth.
I hoped to lay with him a while and bask in the glow of our heated exchange, but from the top of the stairs came, “Uh, Nas?”
Vik’s body went rigid as I blinked in alarm, hastening out from under the covers.
Oh no.
Had Anika heard us?
Her usually sweet voice sounded flat. “I think it’s time to wash my hair now.”
“Coming!” I called out. “Your mom just sent me to tell Vik that lunch is almost ready.”
A quiet pause, then, “Okay.”
Vik’s amused gaze met my wide and startled one, and when he began to chuckle, I blew out a long breath, slipping out from the warmth of the comforter, and worked my pants back up my legs.
We didn’t say a thing. We didn’t need words. We had a mutual understanding of what this was.
It was complex. Difficult. Complicated.
But it was a complication that I needed more than I needed to breathe.
My hands wet from washing Anika’s hair, I took the towel from the rack and covered her freshly dyed hair with it, giving it a light rub. She began to wrap the towel around her ends, then threw her head back. She kept a cool eye on me as I smiled and said, “There. You should be good for another four weeks.”
I wasn’t expecting her unemotional admission. “I love you.”
My body set, my neck twisted to face her. I smiled, although my brow lowered in confusion. I chuckled softly. “I love you too.”
&n
bsp; Her chilly demeanor only deepened as she uttered, “But you need to stop playing with him.” I stilled as she went on. “He might not show it, but you hurt him. I worry you’ll do it again without meaning to.”
My chest squeezed.
Well, that settled that. She heard us, all right.
I didn’t know what to say. The truth seemed appropriate. My tone soft, a light shrug tipped one shoulder as I attempted to justify my actions. “I love him, Ani.”
Her eyes flared. Instantly, she spat, “Then act like it.”
And I paused.
Anika had never spoken to me like that. Not ever. And it prickled.
I blinked at her as she glowered at me, and after a moment, her face turned unreadable. All signs of emotion lost. She withdrew back into her void.
My heart began to pound.
I was sick of this. Sick of being lied to. Sick to death of worrying about them both.
“What is going on with you?” I asked gravely. “I know you’re going through some shit, but you’re moody. You’ve lost weight.” I added on a whisper, “Your hair is falling out. Are you…” It was a morbid thought that flashed in my mind. “Are you sick?”
Anika let out a bitter laugh. “I wish.”
She wished she was sick?
I couldn’t even begin to comprehend why she would say that.
My heart ached at her detachment. And I attempted to resolve it. “Hey. What do you say we have a girls’ night? Just you and me?”
Ani lowered her gaze and sniffed indifferently. She stood and walked out of the bathroom, but not before uttering a listless, “No thanks.”
Doroteya scooped more pasta onto my plate, and when Vik saw the expression on my face, he clicked his tongue and said, “Ma, leave her alone. She’s not hungry.” My cheeks blazed furiously when he added a sly, “She just ate.”
Anika’s fork dropped to her plate. With a bored expression, she pushed up out of her chair, stood, and uttered, “I need to be excused.”
Her retreating back was taut, rigid, and I got the awful feeling that my friend no longer viewed me as such.
24
Anika
“What a disappointment you turned out to be,” said the sneering witch standing in my open doorway.
She strolled into my room like it was her right, and I let her, because… well, the last time I slammed a door in her face, she slammed me into a wall.
Ksenia had always been a hard woman. She had no daughters of her own. Perhaps that was her excuse for treating me so harshly. Her sons were all Bratva stock. I’d only met my cousins once, but they gave off an eerie feel about them. They were proud of the reputation they earned. They were referred to as heartless. Brutal. Psychopaths, even.
Their mother was very much the same, only she managed to hide those traits better than they had.
Now, as my aunt moved closer to me, I swallowed hard as I chanced a look into her eyes.
They were cold. Scornful. So full of contempt.
“I do not know why you are delaying your assignment, but it needs to be done, my flower.”
My heart beat out of time.
She wouldn’t understand. I could never reveal to her why I couldn’t do what she demanded. If I showed my true emotions, it would give her too much leverage over me.
And I’d already lost too much of myself.
What I had left, I cradled close, scared to death that she might rip it from my frail hands.
I couldn’t let that happen.
“I haven’t been feeling well,” I uttered tonelessly.
The closer she advanced, the more rigid my body strung, tight like a bow. Dressed in black, she sat beside me and put a gentle hand to my forehead.
I shuddered.
“You feel fine to me,” she said with an undertone of accusation.
I took my big brown teddy bear off the bed and hugged it to me, holding it close like a protective barrier. “What you’re asking me to do… it’s not going to be easy.”
“I have faith in you. You will find a way.”
My palms began to sweat. I swallowed hard. “It’s impossible. He hates me.”
So, when she stood, unspeaking, then crouched down in front of me, I braced. And when she put her hands to my upper arms, tightening her hold until it pinched my delicate flesh, I remained impassive.
I loathed to show just how much she hurt me. Ksenia got off on it.
She squeezed tighter, and when her nails dug into my flesh, she glared at me, her lip curling in distaste. The thinly veiled threat was clear. “You will find a way.”
My jaw taut, I breathed through the pain as I refused to look away from her.
My aunt. My tormentor.
“I’ll find a way,” I muttered shakily, even if to hold her off a while.
Ksenia smiled then. It disturbed me that it was identical to my mother’s. “See that you do.” She stood and made her way to the door. When she got there, she paused, her expression unreadable. “Do you know what they do to useless animals in Russia?”
My heart jumped in my chest. “No.”
My aunt grinned darkly. “You are very close to finding out.”
The minute she was out of my room, I stood and rushed over to the door, closing it and pressing my back against the cool wood. I couldn’t breathe. I huffed and puffed, and as I stretched my T-shirt to pull it away from my body, my lungs burned.
What was I going to do? What could I do?
If I did as she asked, they would hate me. If I didn’t, she would continue to take from me until there was nothing left.
The panic attack caught me by surprise. I fanned my hands about, pacing, then moaned quietly, internally counting as I tried to take in a full breath and let it out slowly. But it wasn’t helping.
In a last-ditch attempt to regain control, I stumbled into the closet. My trembling fingers working to close me into the darkness. They struggled but managed. And I began to wonder if maybe Nastasia was right.
Maybe I was sick.
Breathing heavily, my brow dampened with sweat, and I put my back to the wall, sliding down until my chin rested on my upturned knees. I closed my eyes. I was so tired.
So damn tired.
Please, God. I want to die. Take me away from this place. Welcome me home.
The prayer should have startled me. It didn’t.
I blinked into the darkness, my body shaking.
More than anything, I wished it to come true.
Hours later, he found me, and the second my closet door opened, a beam of light hit my face, causing me to lift a hand to protect my squinting eyes. My brother’s lips pulled down. He sighed at the state of me, and I truly felt awful for the worry I caused him of late.
Viktor looked up to the ceiling, closed his eyes, and muttered something inaudible to my ears. And then his hand appeared in front of me.
A lifeline he would never know how desperately I needed.
I placed my quaking hand in his, and he pulled me up.
“Come here,” he uttered quietly, then gave me no choice, pulling me into his warm embrace.
The minute I was safely locked into his hold, my breath hitched, and my body jerked. I cried. Gut-wrenching, knee-weakening sobs. My brother held me up, cradling me, rocking me like a child.
“Jesus Christ, Anika. Open your mouth. Use your words. Talk to me” was his broken plea.
How could I tell him, when his shoulders already bore the heaviest of loads?
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. But I could take the minor moments of shelter he offered.
Unfortunately, God never did hear my brutal prayers. And because of that, I did what I had always done.
I endured.
Mina
I couldn’t wait. Even where I was, I could not wait a second longer. My period was a day late, and in the ladies’ room at Bleeding Hearts, I went about the motions, peeing on the test and waiting the three torturous minutes. But when the result came in, I wish I had waited after all.
> Staring down at the long, white plastic strip between my fingers, I felt nothing but numb.
Negative.
God, I hated that word.
Another month. Another disappointment. I was too engrossed in yet another failed attempt to get pregnant, when the bathroom door swung open, and Anika walked in with a tired smile. She glanced down at the test and paused midstep.
“Mina,” she uttered, her wide eyes inquisitive, as though wondering whether the news might have been of the good variety.
Attempting to cover up the ache in my chest, I turned away and let out a humorless, “Nope.” I took the test and threw it in the trash. It hit the bottom with a slight ping. “Not today.”
Her expression glum, she blinked desolately and let out a soft, “I’m sorry.”
I shrugged, not exactly sure I wanted to be talking to her about this. After all, she did try to steal my husband right out from under me. “What can you do, right?”
It was hard to feign a measure of calm I did not feel, but I tried. I turned on the tap and washed my hands. When I shook them out, I peered up in the mirror to find Anika standing there with hesitance heavily etched in her fine features.
She looked as though she had something to say.
“Everything okay?” I asked with a frown.
“I…” She licked her lips, then cleared her throat. “I need to tell you something.”
Swiping a paper towel out of the dispenser, I dried my hands. “Okay. Shoot.”
Anika tried to begin but stalled three times until finally, she said, “I know I wasn’t exactly welcoming of you, and I have regrets about the things I did. I’m sure you won’t believe me, but I want you to know that I’m…” She shrugged helplessly. “I’m really happy for you.”
Of all the things she could have said, I definitely did not anticipate that little tidbit.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, I chuckled and said, “Wow. That must have been really hard for you to say.”
But she shook her head, wearing a sad smile. “No. It wasn’t.” She shrugged. “It took me a while, but I can see now that you and Lev are perfect for each other.”