Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1

by Marie Johnston

  If anyone wanted to renovate downtown, they had to stay within certain specifications, but they also received grants and funding from the city, county, and state. The ashes had fallen, and it’d been years since I’d heard of issues between Hattie and the Barrons.

  I admired Hattie. As a kid, I’d hung on updates. My father had earned plenty of blame in the way he treated me, but so had Naomi. It’d been recreational to watch her get taken down a few notches from that high throne she perched on. I wasn’t ready for an epic battle against her, not alone. With the Garcia sisters, though? I couldn’t have better support.

  Still, I was reluctant. I had just started applying for jobs. How much did I want to tempt fate? “I don’t want to cause more trouble.”

  Charlotte snorted. “Hattie would tell you that you’re not causing trouble. Once those Barrons stick their noses into business that isn’t theirs is when the trouble starts. It’s on them.” She laid a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to have her call you, Liam. You’re too talented, and if the rumors are true, you’ve gotten a raw deal in this town.”

  “I appreciate it.” And I did. Looking through adult eyes at what Hattie had done helped me remember how much of the town had been on her side. My father and his wife held a lot of power, but perhaps not as much as I had thought.

  “The Barrons don’t have carte blanche to Coal Haven. Your great-granddaddy might’ve founded this town, but that doesn’t mean they own it or us.” She shook her head. “Naomi’s trying to run for mayor, and I’ll sit with every quilt circle in town and shit talk her. You shouldn’t have to fight for what’s right, but you do, and sometimes you have to fight dirty.”

  I didn’t know if laughing would be rude. Charlotte’s flinty eyes made me think she was going to start bobbing side to side like a prizefighter. She wasn’t kidding, but I didn’t disagree. Hattie didn’t have kids, and Charlotte’s were grown and gone. They could afford to fight dirty. My kids lived here. They would start school in two months. When they were teens, they’d look for a job. I wanted them to have more opportunities than I’d had. Which might have to start with building my own support base in Coal Haven instead of lying low.

  “Just hear her out,” Charlotte said, sensing my reservations.

  This time I spoke with more confidence. “Thanks. I will. Sorry, I have to go. I still have a long drive to Williston.”

  I waited until I hit the highway that’d take me to the interstate before I dialed Kenny.

  She was out of breath when she answered, her voice floating through the cab. “Hi. You on the road?”

  “Yep. I just had an interesting interaction with Charlotte Garcia.” I told her the story.

  “It wouldn’t hurt to hear Hattie out and see if you two can work out a deal. My gosh, that would be awesome.”

  I knew she’d agree, but her excitement was infectious. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

  “I know, but you can’t keep letting Cameron and Naomi take away good things. They don’t own you. They’ve done nothing but hurt you. You don’t deserve it.”

  “I know I don’t deserve it.” I’d spent too much time wondering why as I was growing up.

  “Knowing it logically is different from knowing it viscerally. Logically, you know that Cameron was the one who started an affair with his assistant. Logically, you know that Cameron said hateful things that made your mom too distraught to drive safely. Viscerally, that asshole and his wife have always made you feel like you were the reason everything blew up. That you being born was the catalyst that destroyed everything. Maybe that’s why you’ve chosen to ignore him rather than fight for your spot in this town.”

  “Damn, Kenny.” I stared at the blacktop with the freshly painted dotted yellow line down the middle in front of me.

  “Sorry, that just came out.” I could picture her biting her lower lip, an adorable line between her brows.

  “I’m glad it did.” I laughed, mostly to relieve the knot in my chest that her words had created. I had decided to stay for the boys. Yet, I’d been tiptoeing around, afraid of my father’s reaction.

  Fuck it. I was leaping in with both feet. “I’m going to tell Grandma Gin to start the paperwork with the bank.” Word would get back to Bruce that Grandma Gin was selling—to me and not him. That was going to piss off Bruce, and that would make it Cameron’s problem. “And I’ll work on my side gig while I’m in Williston.” I’d brainstorm ideas for when Hattie called, search for scrap metal I could work with, plan new projects, and apply for every fucking welding job in a sixty-mile radius from Coal Haven.

  I was a Barron after all.

  Kennedy

  * * *

  I faced Rattler’s. I’d done a lot of firsts in the last five months. All things I might’ve done before in my life, but they had become significant after my breakdown. My first long walk. My foray into yoga had become routine, like the walks. Sleeping with Liam.

  Tonight was girls’ night out. Some of my coworkers had invited me along. They had tried for their May night out, but I had passed. This time, when the fifth-grade teacher, Aspen Whitfield, had asked, I’d made myself accept.

  I was regretting it. I’d endured grocery trips with the sympathetic smiles. The knowing looks shot my way. The ones who ignored me completely. Those I was used to. Same with gassing my car up or passing someone on the walking path.

  I stared at my bare ring finger. My stomach knotted, and I drew in a long, deep breath.

  Had I made the right decision? I was growing used to having the ring off, but I hadn’t gone out with it off. I’d been around my coworkers, who’d been discreet if they had noticed I was no longer wearing my ring, with Liam, or at home.

  Willow’s shocked reaction banged around my head.

  My hands clenched around the steering wheel. I could go home and grab it. Tuck it back on my hand where it belonged.

  Wedding rings were symbols. For a couple, they were a symbol of love and commitment. For a widow, it got complicated, and I instinctively knew that putting it on to buffer me from others’ reactions wasn’t healthy for me.

  Rattler’s was packed. The busy supper crowd, full of people who knew who I was and my story. I was supposed to go in there and pretend I was having a good time. I was supposed to go in there and pretend that I was fine twenty-four seven. I was fine at work, but summer school was only a few hours a day, and the kids were oblivious to anything but what I was teaching and the fun their friends might be having without them. Around Liam, I didn’t have to hold back.

  I forced my hand loose. This was why I had to do new things, go new places, meet new people—without Liam. I couldn’t spend my life waiting for him to slide in front of me like the guy who sweeps the ice in front of the curling stone to help me go farther and straighter.

  A red car pulled in kitty-corner to me. Aspen grinned and waved.

  The spell broken, I hurried out of my car. Entering the restaurant with someone would be easier.

  “I’m so glad you could make it.” The description of amber waves of grain came to mind around Aspen. Hair the color of wheat hung down her back in soft waves, and her eyes were the color of a cold glass of light beer. She’d been in Coal Haven for a year. The upcoming school year would be her second out of college, and this was her first job. I didn’t know much else about her other than she had my old job.

  “Thanks for inviting me—again.”

  “I’ve been called tenacious, but my momma calls it nagging.” She hooked her arm through mine and towed me toward the door. “Marion is on her way. Kelsey messaged me and said she’d be a little late. Something with her kids. I also invited a friend of mine. She works at the clinic in town. The lab, I think. Oh, she grew up here. Of course you know Lyric.”

  “Lyric, yes.” She was Isla Barron’s best friend. Hopefully far enough removed from Liam’s drama to not make tonight awkward. Kelsey was the school librarian, and it’d be good to see Marion again, to talk when we weren’t working. “Sounds fun.”
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  “Only if we do it right.” She practically bounced next to me.

  I was less than two years older than Aspen, but the gap could just as well have been ten years. Twenty, even. Yet her enthusiasm wound around me and eased the tension of feeling like a blunt stick in a pile of needles. Next to her, people wouldn’t wonder what the hell I was doing here. I would be one of the girls.

  I hoped.

  Inside, the space was lighter than I’d expected. Large windows let in the summer sun, still high enough to keep from glaring through the glass into diners’ eyes. The wood beams soaring along the ceiling and the wooden accents lining the bar and trimming out the walls were a light shade of brown…almost gray, but trendy.

  Rattler’s Brewhaus had opened a few years ago. I had been here on a date night with Derek once. We’d planned to go again.

  I sucked in a breath and concentrated on not meeting anyone’s eyes. Aspen told the hostess there’d be five of us. We were led to seats at a bar-height table in the bar section.

  Marion appeared at our side and gave both Aspen and me small hugs. “Hi, ladies. I wasn’t sure I’d make it on time. Dermot asked what was for supper, and that started a small argument.” The older woman shook her head as she climbed onto a tall chair. “Like, seriously. When did asking someone to marry you mean that they have to decide what’s for supper for the next forty years?”

  Other people would tense around me when someone made a comment like that, but Marion and I had worked together for months. She was comfortable with me. A gift I’d never have the guts to thank her for.

  Shortly after we ordered drinks, Kelsey rushed in with tales about her daughter’s fast-pitch game. I’d had her daughter in school, and now she was going into ninth grade. High school. The last time I’d really talked to Kelsey, we’d discussed her kid’s transition to middle school.

  I’d been away from work for a year, but I had missed a lot more than a paycheck.

  Lyric arrived, also looking different than I’d last seen her. Purple streaks in her brunette hair gave her an edge that hadn’t been there before she’d left for college. She wore a deep red bustier top with cap sleeves and skintight white capris. Maybe I needed to get a few tips from her on how to dress in more than classroom-approved clothing.

  “When’d you move back to town?” I asked.

  Lyric grinned. Her dimples took away her edginess and made her cute. “I finished college last year and there was an opening in the lab. I graduated and moved right back home.”

  Last year. I used to see Lyric at all the Barron family functions. Where Isla went, Lyric followed. She’d returned to Coal Haven a year ago.

  Another reminder of how much I’d missed.

  Conversation revolved around work, the activities that Kelsey’s kids were in, Marion’s grandkids, and Lyric’s job. Tension slowly drained out of me. This was no different from the break room at work. People left me alone, knowingly or unknowingly, waiting for me to speak about what I was comfortable with.

  Isla’s older brother, Stetson, entered the restaurant. I was friendly enough with him. He was big and had resting asshole face, but he broke into easy smiles and cracked jokes. He resembled his father, but I’d heard Bruce comment once that Stetson was the spitting image of his and Cameron’s dad. Ink-black hair. Hard, dark eyes, and deeply bronzed skin. When he saw me, his brows lifted.

  I gave him a little nod, afraid I had I’m sleeping with Liam tattooed on my forehead. The last thing I wanted while beginning to navigate my new life was to have the Barrons involve themselves in my relationship.

  Stetson was closer to Evander’s age than Derek’s. Thirty-three. He’d been at all the combined Barron family functions. Liam had never been at those events, so I’d never seen the side of Stetson that was a dick to Liam. Mostly he pretended Liam didn’t exist.

  Stetson wove through the bar, nodding and waving at what seemed like every table. People in Coal Haven were wary of Cameron Barron, but they wanted to be on his good side. They genuinely liked Stetson.

  He snuck up behind Lyric and ruffled her hair. “Hey, kiddo.”

  Lyric’s face bloomed red, but she mock glared at Stetson. “I spent five whole minutes on this hairstyle, Stetson.”

  Stetson rested his hand on the back of her chair and propped his other on his hip. His gaze swept over us. “Ain’t this a table waiting to start trouble.”

  Marion shook her head. She’d probably been his teacher when she first started working in Coal Haven. “If anyone knows anything about trouble, it’s you.”

  Stetson hunched over like she’d punched him. “Mrs. Kasper, I’m hurt you’d think that of me.” He winked, his grin packed with naughtiness.

  Cameron and Bruce might pat themselves on the back about how well-behaved their boys were, but Derek, his brother, and Stetson had just been good at not getting caught.

  He elbowed Lyric. “You stay out of trouble, kid.”

  Lyric’s lips briefly pursed. “You mean when I’m helping save someone’s life by running expensive analyzers to determine what’s wrong with them.” Her tone was flippant, but her gaze was full of yearning.

  Oh. Oh, wow. The poor girl. She had it bad for Stetson, but in his older eyes, she was his little sister’s best friend. Stetson might be good at reading people, but he was clueless about the way Lyric felt about him. I wasn’t the only one with a secret crush. Only, my crush liked me back. And what was between us rose so far above a crush.

  So what was it, then?

  Nerves banded around my stomach. I was okay with saying I liked Liam. That I was his girlfriend. But what did I feel? Did I want to identify it?

  Stetson’s gaze caught on someone across the restaurant. “There’s Holden. See you, ladies.”

  He slapped Lyric on the back like she was just another one of his buddies and walked away. Lyric glowered at her strawberry margarita. Aspen gave her head a small shake. I wasn’t the only one who’d seen it.

  An hour later, when each of us had an empty glass in front of us, Marion sighed and gathered her purse. “I’d better get going. Any longer, and this Cinderella is going to turn into a pumpkin. And Dermot waits up for me.” Fondness filled her smile. She loved her husband waiting up for her. It made her feel cherished.

  The closeness tugged at my heart.

  Kelsey rose right after Marion. “Same here. Except no one waits up for me, and the dishes are probably still dirty. But Brinley has a tournament tomorrow. Long day in the sun.”

  The two women left. Aspen pushed her empty glass away. “We could always go sit with Stetson and Holden.”

  Lyric glanced across the bar to where Stetson and Holden were. Her expression went blank, but storm clouds soared in her eyes. “I think he’s busy.”

  A woman around our age was at the table, her chair close to Stetson’s and his arm hanging around the back of the chair.

  “Isn’t she—”

  “A nurse in town. Yup. I heard they were dating.”

  And Stetson came here all the time since another friend of his, Remington Gunn, owned the place. Was that why Lyric was dressed to kill, sex appeal her weapon? Only, Stetson was bulletproof.

  Aspen tried to save the night with small talk about work, but Lyric had tuned out, and my brain was stuck on identifying what I felt for Liam.

  It didn’t matter. I didn’t have to have the answers. But the sense that it was important loomed over me.

  A new round of drinks arrived. I frowned at the server. I hadn’t ordered anything but water since my wine cooler. It’d been so long since I’d had alcohol.

  She cocked her head to a table on the other side of the bar. “It’s on the guys over there.”

  Aspen and Lyric openly gawked at the table of three young men. Three of them. Three of us.

  My stomach churned, threatening to upend the grilled chicken sandwich I’d had. I’d been brought another wine cooler. I could only handle one drink. I didn’t know about handling guys hitting on me as I was silently panickin
g about whether I’d fallen in love with a man who wasn’t my husband.

  “We should go over there,” Lyric announced. She eyed us. “You up for it?”

  Aspen’s gaze darted to me. I ran my thumb along my bare ring finger. The lack of metal amplified the tumble of my thoughts. A guy hits on me and the first thing I do is touch the place my wedding ring used to be, all while thinking about another man.

  Aspen and Lyric were watching me. Lyric’s eyes were wide, and she gnawed at her lower lip. I couldn’t tell them about anything that was going through my mind. I couldn’t talk to them about Liam. When I felt this way, Liam was there for me. He was in Williston, and I could call, but this wasn’t exactly a subject I was ready to confess. Thinking about it had me near tears.

  “You two go ahead. I might head out.” Lyric and Aspen were going to do whatever it was single young women did these days. I’d never been in their shoes. I couldn’t relate. I could relate to Marion, but that was part of my problem. I had no one at home. No other friends to talk to.

  Pressure built behind my eyes. No way was I crying in public. Aspen and Lyric hadn’t made a move.

  “Seriously. You two go. I’m going to the restroom and then I’ll probably leave.” I would definitely leave.

  I steadied myself on the way to the restroom, feeling eight hundred pounds heavier than I had sitting in my car wondering how I was going to walk inside. Relief eased the pressure in my chest. The restrooms were single stalls. I chose one and ducked inside. Gripping the sink, I sucked in hard breaths. I wasn’t going to cry. My skin would get all red and blotchy, and everyone would figure it out. I’d have to walk out of the restaurant with people knowing I was crying, and they’d assume they knew why.

  They had no idea. No one did.

  I exhaled slowly, clenching my stomach muscles like I was doing a plank. Slow inhale. Long exhale.