Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1

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Make Me Whole: Oil Barrons, Book 1 Page 18

by Marie Johnston


  Being around Laney was better than therapy. I had monthly therapy sessions, but one night on my couch with Laney and a couple of White Claws, and I’d come to the conclusion that I wasn’t ready to define what I felt for Liam and that was fine. He was important to me. Critical. And that was enough for now.

  Mrs. Z watched me pack my things.

  “You have holiday plans?” I asked to fill the empty silence.

  “Nothing. It’s a noisy holiday. I go to the home and see my mom, then stay inside and avoid all the drunks.”

  Okay. I packed my teaching laptop and gathered the spelling tests I had yet to grade. When I had worked at the school before, I’d brushed off Mrs. Z’s attitude. She was from a different time; she was set in her ways. Since I’d come back, she irritated the shit out of me.

  My irritation rose higher and faster today. Maybe because the other day, as I was returning from a walk, Bruce had stopped by, and when I hadn’t answered, he’d let himself in. Worried something was wrong since my car was home.

  His face had been flushed and his movements jerky. If he hadn’t been so fraught that I worried he was going to stroke, I’d have asked for my key back. I’d give it a week or two, then talk to him, as much as I was dreading it. But I had to start setting limits.

  So, yeah, I was a little cranky. Mrs. Z and her constant disdain could frown in someone else’s face. Maybe she’d been a good kindergarten teacher thirty-five years ago, but she needed to find another job. One where she wasn’t responsible for the self-esteem of malleable children.

  “Classroom assignments have come out. Have you heard?”

  Ah. That was why she’d been coming in. During breaks, Mrs. Z was on her phone. At lunch, she was on her phone. But when it came to doing extra work—even checking emails—outside of her teaching hours, she claimed she didn’t have the capabilities at home. I respected her hard stance on not working for free outside the hours she was paid. I’d respect it more if it weren’t out of sheer laziness. That she came in so often during the summer had surprised me. Until Aspen had said Mrs. Z would make sure her time was unofficially comped.

  That made sense.

  “That’s always an exciting time.” I used to love seeing who I’d get in my classroom the next school year. I’d start working on ways to reach usually difficult students and keep them engaged. One of my favorite challenges was finding out what approach worked with a student whom other teachers struggled with.

  Mrs. Z sniffed. “It’s going to be a tough year.”

  “Oh?” She said that every year.

  “It’s going to be hard.” Her breath gusted out of her. “Did you hear Liam Barron enrolled his kids? He planned on moving them, but decided he liked his grandma raising them, I guess.” She sniffed again. “Not a surprise. And I have not one of his boys but both. You’d have thought they’d have separated them.”

  Pressure built at my temples. So much was wrong with what Mrs. Z had said. She knew nothing about Liam other than having had him in kindergarten over twenty years ago. I willed myself to speak calmly. One of us had to be professional. “The boys have been together every day of their lives. Perhaps the committee thought it best to ease them into school first, together, and then separate them at a later date.”

  “Those two are too much for one teacher.”

  I rose and hefted my bag to my shoulder. “You know them?”

  “Everyone knows Liam’s boys.”

  It was Coal Haven. Yes, they did. But that wasn’t what I meant, and she knew it. “You’ve met them?”

  “I had Liam in class,” she said flatly, as if that should be explanation enough.

  “They’re good kids.” How would Mrs. Z handle Eli’s speech? She was painfully blunt. I might appreciate that characteristic in my new world, but it had a place there. With five-year-old kids and an issue that could either be easily overcome without long-lasting effects or used to degrade his sense of self, tact was required.

  Mrs. Z was notoriously tactless.

  “That will remain to be seen. Obviously, I’ll have to start the school year by seating them as far from each other as possible.”

  “Or you could see how they handle a big change in their lives like kindergarten.” My long-lost temper pounded against my skull. My voice came out hard as steel. “Or you could make their learning environment so difficult from the beginning that they start acting out and fulfill your low expectations. But it sounds like that’s what you want.”

  Mrs. Z blinked at me, but I didn’t want to waste one more minute with her. I breezed out as airily as she’d come in. I stormed down the hall, spun like a soldier on parade, and marched down the shorter hallway to the exit.

  I was about to push out the door when the principal peeked out of his office. “Kennedy. Everything okay?”

  I whirled on him, and he reared back. I couldn’t see my reflection, but it must have been fierce. Gone was the slightly lost widow or the placating young teacher. “No, actually, it’s not, Mr. Gilding. I’m tired of the way Mrs. Z treats kids she doesn’t think are worth her full effort. I’m tired of her laziness, and I’m sick of her attitude. Most of all, I hate how we all accept that’s the way she is and ignore it. Then the rest of us have to undo all the damage she does to those young minds, thinking they read too slowly or can’t do math, so they might as well not try. And God forbid, a five-year-old kid acts like they’re five and have a meltdown. That must be shitty parenting, and why bother trying to do her damn job?”

  Ohmigod.

  Oh my God. Had I just said all that? Had I just berated my boss for something he was as guilty of as the rest of us? Ignoring Mrs. Z was a job skill we’d developed after our first months here.

  I pressed my lips together. “Have a happy Fourth.” Pushing out into the sun, letting the heat fold around me, I dragged in a deep breath.

  I didn’t think I’d get fired, but I hadn’t wanted to create a work environment full of tension. Still. Mrs. Z had messed with my kids.

  I angrily painted the office until I’d finished it. I probably looked a lot like Bruce had feared when he’d let himself into my house thinking I’d collapsed or something.

  Deano from the bank had called yesterday. He’d said Bruce had asked that the mortgage payment come out of his account instead of mine. Deano couldn’t, since Bruce wasn’t on my mortgage.

  Because it was my goddamn house.

  I put my hand on my chest. Breathe in, two, three. Out, two, three, four. I’d have to ask for my key back sooner than later. And I had told Deano that in no way, shape, or form was anyone else responsible for my accounts.

  I’d been unleashing hell on the old paint job ever since. And if I didn’t get that key back, Bruce might see that I was working on a new project and step in.

  This had gone on too long, and it was all my fault.

  I glanced around the room, inspecting it for spots I’d missed. Looked good. My bedroom was next, but I had to rip off the blue hummingbird wallpaper behind my bed.

  I pushed a hand through my hair and redid my bun. Someday, I’d get it to stay in place while I worked. Today was not that day.

  My doorbell rang. I jumped and yelped, putting a hand to my chest. My heart raced. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I’d been stuck in my head.

  I went to the door. Liam wasn’t going to be home for two more days. If it was Bruce, I was upset enough to have words. I just didn’t want to say something I would regret. He was only looking out for me, but he obviously wasn’t going to learn where to butt out if I didn’t tell him.

  I peered out. Laney leaned against the railing, sunglasses on, staring down the street. I opened the door. “You look like you’re modeling that beer you’re holding.”

  I could snap a picture and sell it. Her hair was in a classy bun, nothing like mine. Casual, but cool, and I doubted it slipped one millimeter from where she’d secured it. She had on short pink shorts and a sheer white blouse that showed off her pink bra.

  “It�
�s all in the attitude,” she said and pushed off the railing. “You free?”

  “If you don’t count my date with wallpaper from the seventies, yes.”

  She pulled off her sunglasses, her blue eyes sparkling. “Is it demolition time?”

  “Only of the wallpaper.”

  She vibrated like she was ready to destroy something. “Good enough. Want help?”

  I eyed her outfit. “I can lend you something to wear so you don’t get those dirty.”

  “I’m not worried about it.”

  “I am. At least borrow one of my shirts.”

  Laney grinned and beelined for the fridge. She stuffed the beer inside but grabbed a Bud Light with clamato juice and offered me one.

  “No White Claw?” I asked.

  “After your text about Bruce, I figured we needed something stronger.”

  Good thing she hadn’t brought hard liquor. I accepted the drink and led her to the bedroom. I stopped at the foot of the bed.

  Laney’s gaze swept the room. “Cool lamp.”

  Residual guilt faded, both for placing Liam’s gift in the bedroom I had shared with Derek, but also for the round of phone sex. Having her in here made it feel more like a room. A place I could mold and change. This bedroom wasn’t a mausoleum for my marriage. “Liam made it.”

  She sent me a measured glance, like she realized its placement hadn’t been an easy decision. When he’d given it to me, I’d wanted to keep it close. It was like I put it next to my bed as a signal to my mind that this was no longer a room I shared with my husband.

  She put her hands on her hips and studied the wall. “That’s some atrocious wallpaper.”

  The paper curled at the top of a few seams. The birds were a sun-faded blue, the flowers they suckled out of paled to a baby pink. “I’m sure it was cute forty years ago.”

  Her expression said doubtful as she set her beer on the top of my dresser. “Those birds have seen some things.”

  “That’s why they need to die.”

  Laney barked out a laugh and bent to pull the bed away from the wall. I set my can next to hers and helped. For the next few hours, we fought the wallpaper, and, at times, the wallpaper won. We drank through the six-pack.

  “Damn,” Laney announced from the kitchen. “We’re in a paradox.”

  I followed her voice. She stood in front of the open fridge. The old college shirt she’d borrowed from me clung to her curves. I definitely did not sex up that shirt like her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “We drank all the beer and need more, but because we drank all the beer, we can’t go get more.”

  “I shouldn’t keep drinking anyway.” The birds were getting blurry. I’d been fighting for control for so long it was freeing to have a little of it willingly given away.

  “No one should keep drinking; that’s why it’s fun.” She pulled a face. “My husband refused to drink beer.” She never said his name. “The kicker was, I think he really liked it, but it wasn’t an approved drink according to his rich friends.”

  “Your ex was rich?”

  “Mm.” She tossed a knowing look over her shoulder. “Money was almost as important as image, and I was like beer: I didn’t fit the image.”

  “Dick.”

  “Grade-A asshole.” Her voice was tinged with longing. Asshole or not, her feelings for him had been real.

  My phone buzzed. Liam would call in the next hour or two, but he was still working. I had a message from Aspen. OMG, I just ran into Z. What’d you do?!?! Another message came in. You know I’m kidding, right? I know whatever happened, it was Z.

  “What the hell?” I could only imagine what Mrs. Z was saying about me.

  Laney let the fridge door close. “Who do I need to kill?”

  I smirked. My first two years in Coal Haven, I’d heard several comments about her. People had wondered how Derek could stand Laney. Why had he dated her for so long? They’d been inseparable. Laney might’ve been in love. Derek, maybe a little, but he’d been dedicated to her until he met me. He’d never said, and maybe later in our relationship when so many years passed it wouldn’t have mattered, he might’ve confessed that he’d missed her friendship. I’d seen the signs and, at times, worried that maybe he’d go back to her. That the uniqueness of the new girl would wear off. But I saw it now. Liam was like a brother to him, but she’d also been Derek’s close friend.

  “It’s my friend from work. She’s the one that got hired after I left.”

  “You haven’t said no. I have a shovel and a lot of land. But you’re doing the digging.”

  I rolled my eyes, but the image of us out in the dark with shovels made me giggle. “No. She’s great. But she must’ve heard that I kind of lost my temper at work. I didn’t think anything came of it. Guess it did?”

  “God heard our dilemma and sent us your drama. Tell your friend to bring a case over and tell us about it.”

  I stared at Laney. My in-laws and mother didn’t know about Liam—or Laney. My actions were questioned enough. But no, I wasn’t hiding Laney too. Dammit. I was an adult.

  “What? Have I met her already? Does she hate me?” Laney stated it like a forgone conclusion.

  “Aspen Whitfield. Know her?”

  “Nope, haven’t pissed her off yet.”

  “I think she’d like you.” Before I invited Aspen over, I realized that I hadn’t really done that. Ever. Mom had leapfrogged through town after town until we’d landed in Coal Haven. I hadn’t had a chance to get to know anyone well enough, and then I’d been too sick to play or visit. School had taken everything out of me for so many years. “You’re the first friend I’ve had over.”

  “I’m honored.” Laney jutted her chin toward my phone. “Invite another one, and we’ll increase our friend circle by thirty percent.” She wrinkled her nose. “Is that math right? Wait, I don’t care.”

  I might’ve chickened out on my own, but I did as Laney commanded. I have a friend over and we ran dry. Want to bring a case here and I’ll tell you what happened? If she turned me down, would it be like getting rejected for a date? I didn’t know what that was like either, and I didn’t want to.

  Aspen’s reply was immediate. You saved me from death by curiosity. Be right there!

  “She’s coming.” Aspen hadn’t asked for my address, but it was Coal Haven. She’d figure it out if she didn’t know.

  “Let’s put our stuff away. I need my full attention to hear about how Kennedy Barron lost her shit.”

  “It wasn’t that bad,” I mumbled.

  Glee filled her eyes. “It doesn’t have to be when they’re used to sweet little innocent you. I hope Aspen brings something yummy. This calls for a celebration!”

  She didn’t even know that I’d been in the right. I had been. The twins deserved teachers who hadn’t already decided how their year was going to go.

  Aspen arrived right after we’d hauled out a trash bag of wallpaper and vacuumed my room. The bed was still pressed against the dresser, but I left it. The new position worked for me.

  One round of phone sex in that bed had reignited the guilt I’d experienced that first time with Liam. That bed had been bought when Derek and I had moved into the house. One of those assumptions I’d forgotten I’d had. That the bed would be the place I would’ve slept with only my husband for years. Then it’d become the place where I’d thought only about Derek. A little intimate sanctuary. Until Liam. I had to realize that I was giving that bed a lot of power. A queen-size mattress wasn’t going to dictate how I remembered my time with my husband.

  But having the bed in a different spot helped.

  I let Aspen in. Laney pressed a wad of cash into her hand. “For your service. We were out.”

  Aspen grinned and pushed her hair off one shoulder. “You’re Laney, right?”

  Laney smiled, but tension snapped over her features. “Damn. You’ve heard of me.”

  “I’m friends with Lyric. She said you’re pretty badass. That you can tel
l off any Barron in town and get away with it.”

  Laney’s expression rippled with surprise, like she hadn’t expected talk about her to be positive. “That is indeed true. Barrons have a hard time hearing the truth.”

  Aspen snickered and dug a can out from the case. “I hope you don’t mind hard seltzer. I think it tastes like fruity piss, but I only have one swimsuit, and it looks amazing on me, so I’ve gotta fit into it all season.” She cracked open the can. “I’m dying, Kennedy. Z said you yelled at her.”

  Both women stared at me, eyes wide. “I didn’t…yell,” I sighed. “She found out she has Liam’s twins in her class.”

  “Liam? Oh, Lyric pointed him out one night when he came into Rattler’s to grab pizzas. You two friends?”

  I nodded and concentrated on the cold can in my hand to keep my expression from giving away that Liam and I were more. “We are, and I’ve been helping him and his grandma with the kids.”

  “But they’re rambunctious little boys and Z is prepared to smoosh their little vibrant personalities.” Aspen shook her head. “She makes me a little ragey. I want to say something, but I’m afraid I’ll make it worse. I’m just the new girl.”

  “I bit her head off, but when I was leaving, Mr. Gilding stopped me, and I unloaded.” I didn’t regret it. Mrs. Z could make those kids’ school life hell.

  “Nice,” Laney hissed. “Go right to the top.”

  “He talked to her,” Aspen said excitedly. “She said she threatened to quit. Ooooh, if only. You’d be my new hero, Kennedy. Not many parents or teachers stand up to Z.”

  I lifted a shoulder. I didn’t feel like a hero, and I didn’t need drama at work. “I’m not the type of person that does that though.”

  Laney cocked her head. “But you are. Who cares what anyone thinks?”

  Laney took a slow sip of her drink, eyeing me. I could see the subtle challenge in her eyes. I was the type who told Mrs. Z off because I’d done it, and then I’d basically reported her to the principal. So why wouldn’t I stand by what I did? What about when the rest of town found out? Liam had had issues with her as a teacher, and he likely wasn’t the only one. But Mrs. Z had taught hundreds of children. She was well liked and respected in the community.

 

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