2 In the Doodoo with Voodoo

by steve higgs

  ‘Your Police ID, Harper.’ He demanded. Then hissed, ‘Now.’ when I failed to instantly react.

  Reluctantly, and with half my former colleagues watching, I took out my ID and handed it to him. He snatched it from my grasp. ‘Now take that uniform off and hand it in.'

  ‘I don’t have a change of clothes with me.’

  ‘I don’t care, Harper. Just get it done.’ He dismissed me then and turned to Patience. ‘Go and wait in my office, Woods.’ Then he walked away.

  I felt like crying. I could feel my face puffing up from the effort of holding the tears back. He was such an arse.

  I was bumped then as Bartholomew pushed past me. ‘Enjoy the spiders, won’t you?’ he said, then tapped Patience on her shoulder as she was trudging towards Quinn’s office.

  ‘Don't be pushing your luck today, Mr. King.'

  ‘Just remember what I said please. It will happen soon enough.’ I could see Patience wanted to react. He was goading her, but we had both just been publicly admonished in front of him and he knew he could do whatever he wanted in this moment. ‘I wish I could stay and entertain you for longer, ladies, but I have a date tonight.’ He waved us goodbye and went out the door.

  I had been lying about not having a change of clothes. It was in my car, so I retrieved it, went into the changing room and took the uniform off for what I was quite certain now would be the last time. The tears that had been threatening finally came now that I was on my own.

  Administration. Tuesday, November 1st 1804hrs

  When I was finally dressed in my own clothes and had composed myself again, I fetched the other sets of uniform from my car and went to hand them in. I was made to wait, which gave me even more time to stew. I had hoped I would see Patience, I had dropped her in it. Unlike me, she still had to put up with Quinn. I could leave here today and never deal with him again. Or if I did, the next time I saw him he would not have the advantage of rank to hold over me.

  I kicked the wall. It didn’t make me feel any better and I hurt my toes.

  My phone rang. I pulled it from my bag to see that it was Kimberly calling. I had completely forgotten about her.

  ‘Hi, Kimberly.’

  ‘Yeah, hi, Amanda. Um, I finished work and came outside to go home and then remembered that I don’t have anywhere to live right now. Do I come back to your place?’

  ‘Sorry, Kimberly. I should have given this more consideration.' I really didn't want her staying with me. I wanted Brett to stay with me, that was what I wanted, and the two things seemed mutually exclusive. Having heard her moaning on my sofa last night, I had no intention of having her there tonight listening to me. Then an idea popped into my head. ‘Kimberly, do you have your bag with you with all your things in it?

  ‘Yes. Big Ben dropped me off with it this morning. I could stay with him quite happily. I'm sure he didn't mean that he never sleeps with the same woman twice.'

  I was sure he did mean it. My idea was better than sending her to stay with Big Ben though. ‘Kimberly I will have Jane from the office come to collect you. Stay at work. She will not be long.’

  We disconnected, and I called Jane. She was at home with her boyfriend but said she could collect Kimberly. I told her where to take her and confirmed she could get all that done and then be back at my place for her date with Bartholomew in time.'

  Twenty minutes had ticked by while I was on the phone, but it was still not my turn to be dealt with at the equipment and uniform store. I wondered if the old lady that worked there had been instructed by CI Quinn to make me wait.

  I kept checking my watch as the time ticked by. I needed to get away and meet up with Jane and Big Ben at my apartment. I wasn't sure if Patience would even turn up. I had sent her a text but got no reply. I could only imagine what Quinn had said to her or punished her with.

  Finally, all my gear was handed over and, with a final signature, I was done.

  It was gone seven when I escaped the police station, the shift had changed over while I was downstairs handing over my uniform, but even though the people I had to walk by had not been present to see my shame earlier, they would all know about it. Rumour was rife in the Police Station, much as it was in any closed environment. A couple of them tried to talk to me, but I shook my head that I was in no mood and left them behind.

  It was so late that any rush hour traffic was long gone so the journey home was swift. My favourite spot in front of my building was empty. As I parked in it, I saw that the car to the left of mine was Jane's. She was sat in it checking her reflection in the fold-down mirror. She had a date tonight and we were already behind schedule.

  She saw me, folded the mirror up and got out of her car as I climbed out of mine. Across from us, another car door shut and we both turned to see Big Ben. I had never seen Big Ben's car before. Maybe he had more than one, he certainly appeared to have some money. Not like Brett had money, but enough that he saw no need to work. Anyway, he was walking away from a huge black Ford Ranger. It had black paint and black wheels and a whole load of body kit bolted on to make it look meatier than the standard model. Across the fold-down tailgate, I read the word Deranged.

  It fitted.

  ‘I was starting to wonder where you were. Everything okay?’ he asked, crossing the carpark to join us.

  ‘I have had better days.’ I turned to face Jane. ‘Kimberly settled in?’

  ‘Yes, no problem. I think she will be very comfortable.’

  ‘Where is she?’ Big Ben asked.

  ‘I stashed her at Tempest’s house. I don’t think Bartholomew will find her there.’

  He chuckled. ‘Did you tell Tempest?’

  ‘Nope. He left me here with this mess, so he can have an unexpected house guest for a night or so. I doubt he will ever know it happened. I will clean the bed sheets and remake his bed before he returns.'

  We had gone into the building and were standing in front of my door as I fiddled with my keys. The door across the landing opened.

  ‘Amanda.' Mrs. Fox called from her doorway.

  ‘Hi, Mrs. Fox.'

  ‘There was a flower delivery for you earlier, dear. I let the man in and put them on your kitchen counter.’

  ‘Thank you, Mrs. Stone.' she was a sweet old lady. No doubt Brett had sent them in advance of our date tonight with a little message attached.

  I pushed the door open, bent to scoop some mail from the floor and walked through to the main room while shuffling it to see if it was anything other than bills.

  ‘Wow.' Came Jane's voice from behind me. I looked up to see an enormous spray of flowers sitting on my kitchen counter. The stems disappeared into one of those water bubbles things trapped inside a box. The box though had a compartment at the bottom, a flap that was hanging open.

  I moved to look inside but caught something moving out of the corner of my eye. Over by my fruit bowl. Hadn't I seen something?

  ‘Guys make yourself comfy. I'll put the kettle on.' I called over my shoulder as I lifted a banana.

  A tarantula ran up my arm.

  I froze for a second, completely unable to move as my brain tried to process the horror I felt. Then it got to my elbow and kept coming, which was altogether too much spider getting far too close to my face.

  I screamed and flicked my arm to rid myself of the hairy, black menace. It shot across the room and flew in front of Jane's face.

  ‘Aaaaaaargh!’ said Jane. She got up and ran for the door as I spotted another tarantula emerging from behind my bin, its front two legs extended in the air like a threat.

  ‘Amanda you have a spider problem.’ Big Ben advised me as he started towards the door as well, he was pointing to another three huge, hairy spiders that were climbing my curtains.

  I ran, my heart threatening to burst from my chest and I didn’t stop until I had gone down all the stairs and was out in the street. Big Ben sauntered out a few seconds after me, far too cool to run or show that he was scared.

  He already had a phone to his
ear and was informing the police about my latest predicament.

  ‘Thank you. I believe we will wait outside.’ He hung up. ‘The police will be here soon along with animal control. You may want to consider sleeping somewhere else tonight.’

  Miserable, I slumped onto the bonnet of my car. How was Bartholomew doing this? How had he even had time? Although perhaps he already had the spiders and it had been hours since he was released from the station. It was enough time to buy flowers and drop them off.

  ‘I need a drink.’

  ‘Jane.’ Big Ben called. Jane was sitting in her car looking quite freaked out. ‘Jane dear, why don’t you two ladies go across the road and get a drink? I’ll call you when the police arrive.’ He produced a crisp twenty pounds note from somewhere and stuffed it into my hand. ‘Go.’ he insisted, his voice gentle.

  Then my feet were moving. Jane had hold of my hand and was pulling me across the street to the pub there. I don't remember much about it. Mostly Jane kept hold of my left hand and pushed a glass of something dark and strong into my right. It turned out to be brandy. My brain was on lockdown, it had taken a break from operating my body. There were spiders in my apartment. This morning there had been a giant snake in my car and now I had a dozen tarantulas in my home. I was freaking out.

  Presently, the brandy was gone, and Big Ben came into the pub to find us. We were tucked into a corner by ourselves. A couple of young lads had spotted the two girls sitting unattended a while ago and had sauntered over full of swagger. I hadn't even looked up, but I did hear Jane tell them to go away in her deep voice. I might have laughed had my brain been working.

  ‘There is a team in your apartment now trying to catch all the spiders.' Big Ben told me. ‘It might take them a while because they don't know how many there are and don't want to leave any behind.' I didn't want that either. ‘The police came and took a statement from your neighbour across the hall. I’m not sure she was much help, she just kept saying it was a young black man that delivered the flowers.’

  ‘They will want a statement from me.’ I whispered, my voice barely loud enough for me to hear. I was trying to get myself moving. I hated spiders. It had run up my arm and I wondered if I would ever feel clean again.

  ‘Shall we get this done?’ Big Ben asked, pulling gently on my hand to get me back on my feet. ‘You can crash at my place until they give you the all clear.’ He was being very sweet, it was a caring, compassionate side of Big Ben that I had never seen before.

  He held my hand to keep me steady, perhaps seeing how unsteady I was on my feet, and guided me over to where there were two police cars.

  Sgt Dave Barnet took a statement from me and let me go. Someone handed me my bag. It had been left on the kitchen counter next to the flowers where I had put it down.

  There was a squeeze to my arm. I turned to see Jane next to me. ‘I'm going home, Amanda. Don't worry about tonight, I have already messaged Bartholomew and apologised for cancelling at the last moment. He said he was fine with rearranging the date for another night. We can work things out in the morning.' She had missed the date with Bartholomew. We were going to lead him into a trap. None of it had happened. Jane gave me a little hug and was gone.

  I heard Big Ben confirm that Sgt Barnet had no further need for me to remain at the scene. They would call to confirm when the animal control chaps were done. He still had hold of my hand, so he led me to his car, put me on the passenger’s seat and took me to his flat.

  Halfway there, Big Ben started talking. ‘Hotstuff. I have been trying to work out if I have ever had a woman in my flat that I have not had sex with. You don't have to be the first, you know.'

  ‘Oh my God, Ben. Seriously, you are trying to get in my knickers now?’

  ‘It seems like the best thing for you. You have had a nasty shock, so let’s take your mind off it. I assure you I am very good.’

  We had arrived at his building. ‘Benjamin, I honestly have no idea how you ever get a woman into your bed. If I had a better option I would be going there now and not planning to sleep on your sofa.'

  ‘Yeah, your planning to sleep on my sofa. Good luck resisting me once you enter… the lair.’ He put extra emphasis on the last two words and dropped his voice to make it sound sinister. I rolled my eyes. I was fairly sure he was just messing around.

  Big Ben came around the car to open my door. I climbed out but stood up too quickly and went a little dizzy. He caught me as I all but fell out of his giant four by four car.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I think so. Just a head spin.’ I stood up straight, but he kept his arm around me for support as he led me to the building. A tender, helpful version of Big Ben was something of a revelation.

  His building was much nicer than mine. That it was housed inside a gated community that had a security guard checking the people coming in said a lot. It also meant that money invested in the beautiful grounds around the buildings did not get ruined by wandering teens, homeless people or anyone else. The lobby of his building had a marble floor and the stairs were chrome and glass and utterly spotless. He pressed the button to call the lift.

  Halfway up to his penthouse suite, I suddenly felt my heart drop. In all the horror and excitement, I had forgotten my date with Brett. I yanked my phone from my bag and dialled his number. No signal.

  Impatient for five seconds that felt like five minutes, the lift arrived at its destination with me shoving the doors open to get out while simultaneously hitting the redial button. The clock on the phone told me it was quarter after eight. Brett must be outside my apartment.

  It rang for a while before it connected. Then Brett's voice came on the phone, but it was not the usual sexy tone that I always got. Instead, he sounded bored. ‘Amanda.' Monosyllabic.

  ‘Brett, God I'm so sorry. There were some flowers delivered to my house and I thought they were from you, but they weren't of course. They were from…'

  ‘I saw you with him, Amanda.’

  ‘You… sorry, what? You saw me with who?’

  ‘The tall guy. I saw you drive away in his car, then I saw you hugging him before you went arm in arm into a building.’

  ‘Oh, Brett. You have it all wrong.' He had seen me with Big Ben. Now he was feeling betrayed, as I might if the roles were switched, but it was all a mistake.

  ‘Amanda, I don’t own you. We haven’t slept together. I just didn’t expect there to be someone else.’

  ‘No, Brett, please listen.’ I begged. I just needed him to hear what I was saying but he didn’t want to hear me.’

  ‘Don’t call me, Amanda. Okay?’ he didn’t wait for me to answer though. He just hung up.

  I stared at the wall defeated. I was having such an awful day. Bartholomew and CI Quinn, Patience wasn’t talking to me, my home was full of spiders. I was getting nowhere with my case and now Brett thought I was cheating on him. I refused to cry. A defiant tear rolled down my cheek anyway and for the second time today I started sobbing.

  I was so fed up being at the bottom. Being on the losing end. Big Ben placed his hands on my shoulders and steered me inside his apartment, wheeled me in front of his couch and handed me a mug of tea as I sat.

  I mumbled my thanks, gave myself a mental shake and sent Brett a text explaining what he had seen. I wanted to call him, to have him come and get me and take me back to his place. I wanted to have sex with him and put this silly misunderstanding behind us.

  It was a long text that took many drafts before I pressed send. My tea was cool by the time I was done. Cooler than I would have wanted it, but it was nice that Big Ben had made it for me. Sitting on the couch with my feet tucked beneath me and feeling a little pathetic and battered from my day, I pondered what I would do now.

  The simplest thing was to spend the night on Big Ben's couch and go home in the morning. I expected it would be clear of giant, killer spiders by then. I would need to thoroughly clean the whole apartment, which would not be a simple task as I would be holding a large mall
et in one hand just in case animal control had missed one.

  Big Ben sauntered back into the central living area. He had nothing on his top half, revealing, not for the first time, his lean, muscular torso. He looked like he could run through walls. In his arms, he was carrying bedding and pillows to make up the couch for me.

  ‘How are you doing now?’ he asked.

  ‘Much better, thank you.’ I lied.

  ‘It sounded like man trouble earlier. Do you want to talk about it?’

  ‘Not really.’

  ‘Fair enough. I didn't know you were involved with anyone. Is it serious?' he asked.

  I couldn’t decide if Big Ben was being nosy or just making conversation. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, ‘I had hoped it was going to be serious, but we never got quite that far. We had a date tonight and it… well, tonight happened, didn’t it? Anyway, he saw me with you and jumped to a conclusion.’

  Big Ben nodded. ‘I always figured you would end up with Tempest. That’s why I have never turned on the charm around you. He’s my bro and it was obvious that he was interested.’

  ‘Never turned on the charm? Benjamin, you talk as if all you need do is smile and girls fall into your bed.'

  ‘Err, yup. That is pretty much how it works. Shall I demonstrate?’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘You really think this is going to happen?’

  ‘Actually, no.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Not tonight. Maybe later this week. You are all fired up with resistance right now.’

  ‘Ben it is not going to happen.’

  He stared at me with curiosity on his face. ‘Amanda, you are truly a strange lady. So, I am going to leave you to get some sleep. If you change your mind in the night you know where to find me. Off you go.’

  ‘Off I… Huh? Where am I going?’ Now I was bewildered.

  ‘I’m on the couch, Amanda. One does not invite a guest to one’s house and then have them sleep on the furniture. You are in my bed. I just put all fresh linen on it for you. There is a door to take you through to the bathroom if you want a shower. There is a range of ladies’ toiletries and cosmetics in the cupboard beneath the sink.’ Of course, he had ladies’ toiletries waiting.