by D. E. Morris
“No. Let Tasarin be.” She already knew who she wanted to speak with and it was not her old friend. He and his new bride would only just be returning home from their journey around Caedia, letting their country welcome them as their new ruling couple. It was a time of celebration and feasting, something she and Jaryn never did get to have for themselves after their wedding. It was not something she wanted to spoil for either of her friends. “Send for Cavalon.”
There was surprise on Jaryn's face. “Cavalon?”
“He is the eldest of the Elementals. If anyone would have seen or heard of something like this before it would be him. Besides...” Ashlynn wrapped her arms around herself. “I know I won't be able to harm him, should my abilities become out of control again.”
Interrupting the conversation, an older man was ushered into the royal chambers, graying hair a mess and a robe tied sloppily over his night clothes. He bent to his knees and dropped a tattered bag of supplies beside him, immediately beginning by cutting away the remnants of the burned up sleeve covering Jaryn's arm. Ashlynn watched only a moment before standing and facing the guard who'd escorted the healer.
“How many prisoners are in the eastern tower cell?”
Both the guard and Jaryn looked at her with wrinkled brows. “Three, Your Majesty.”
“Have each of them moved below or find room for them in another place. I want no one in the eastern tower.”
“It will be done.”
She nodded curtly. “It will be done now.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The guard left with haste, leaving Ashlynn to turn and face her husband still on the floor. Though he winced and grit his teeth against the healer's ministrations, Jaryn didn't cry out. He did look at Ashlynn with question, however. “Why do you want the tower emptied?”
“Because that is where I am going to stay until Cavalon arrives.”
Jaryn pushed the healer aside and got to his feet. “Absolutely not.”
“It is the only way I can keep you safe.”
“Ashlynn, I am not going to let you lock yourself away like some common criminal. This was an anomaly. It won't happen again. What about during the day? You're fine then. Will you stay in the town then, too?”
“I am not asking your permission.” She took his face in her hands, eyes full of sorrow. “I cannot risk hurting you again, hurting Lochlainn or anyone else in this castle. The dreams have been getting worse, more vivid. There is no guarantee that this will not happen again, or that even daydreams will not be taken over. I will not risk it.” There was commotion outside the door and both turned to see two of their guards returning. Lochlainn was perfectly safe and still asleep. It eased some of Ashlynn's fear. “Have Zarra find the nurse I sent away so Lochlainn will not go hungry.”
“Is Cavalon still with Nuala in Braemar?” asked Jaryn. “I will have a messenger sent right now.”
“The last messenger was sent out only tonight, Your Majesty.” Jaryn scowled at the guard who immediately gave a respectful bow. “Of the three stationed here at Altaine, none have yet returned.”
“It is all right,” Ashlynn assured. “I am sure one will return tomorrow. When Cavalon receives the message he will likely use fyre to travel and it will be instantaneous. My seclusion will only be a few days at most.” She looked at the waiting healer. “Make sure you bandage him up well.” There was a calm to her voice that was practiced, one that hid the swirling turmoil of her inner emotions. As she looked to the guards at the door, she folded her hands together before her to hide their shaking. “The king will need a bed for the night and a fresh mattress and bedding brought up in the morning.” Focusing on one guard in particular, she said, “Find one of the house staff and make sure it is done.” He bowed and was off while Ashlynn took in a deep breath and faced the other guard. “Now if you would please escort me to the eastern tower.”
“Ashlynn.” Jaryn stepped forward but she was already heading out into the hall. Before she disappeared, however, she turned back to give her husband a faint smile.
“I love you.”
And then she was gone.
Chapter Six
It was two days before Ashlynn had contact with anyone in the castle. She lay on the hard bed with her face to the window, eyes rimmed in red and exhaustion heavy upon her. It would be easy to sleep in her present discomfort but every time she did she ended up setting everything on fyre. On several occasions the guards had come rushing to her cell with buckets of cold water to both wake her and try to douse the flames. Everything within her hurt and she missed her husband and her child. It may have only been two days, but it felt like a lifetime since she'd seen them.
“I am the high queen's lady and I demand you grant me entrance!”
Ashlynn lifted her head, brow furrowed. “Lilia?”
“Her Majesty is refusing the company even of the king. Why do you think she would welcome you?”
“How dare you speak to me in such a manner. I am not a simple kitchen maid come to collect dirty dishes!”
“Let her pass.” Ashlynn sat up and cleared her throat to call again, “Let her pass.”
She was met with silence for a brief moment, then the familiar sound of light feet coming down the stone corridor followed by one of the men guarding her cell. As soon as Lilia laid eyes on Ashlynn she hastened forward and wrapped her fingers around the bars on the door, demanding, “What is this?”
Ashlynn still wore her nightclothes despite the burns to the edges of her sleeves and hems. Her hair was matted and stuck out in places at odd angles, and there were dark bruises of sleeplessness under her eyes.
“Apologies, Majesty.”
“It is all right.” Ashlynn rose and swept her hair from her face, attempting to look at least somewhat presentable. “Let her in.”
Lilia stepped back but fixed the guard with an unrelenting glare even as he unlocked the door. His returning glance was not any warmer, but he pulled the door open and gave her a small mocking bow. Lilia gave him a quick humorless smile before rushing in to take Ashlynn's hands. “You look dreadful.” She looked at the guard again, venom in her dark eyes. “You understand the queen is here of her own accord and not a prisoner, don't you?”
“It is all right, Lilia.” Ashlynn nodded to the guard. “Thank you.” His bow to her was one of respect, though one more caustic glance was cast to Lilia before he left the two women alone.
“Ashlynn, your nightgown.” She fingered the burned sleeves, then looked at the stone bed with no mattress. “Even the worst criminals are treated better than this.”
“I keep setting fyre to everything.” It was the only explanation she had, the only one she had enough energy to give.
Seeing the exhaustion in Ashlynn's face, Lilia led her to the bed and sat down with her. When there were no others around, the girls called Ashlynn by her name and enjoyed a growing friendship. It was because of this freedom that Lilia had no hesitation in pulling one of Ashlynn's hands close to examine. There were welts on her palms and small cuts that worried her.
“What is happening to you?”
Ashlynn pulled her hand away and curled her fingers into her palms, unintentionally showing the younger woman that it was her nails digging in that had done the damage. “I wish I knew.”
“Jaryn said you were having nightmares.”
“I asked him not to tell anyone.”
“We are not anyone, Mairead, Zarra, and I.” Lilia swept long brown hair from her face and lifted her chin proudly. “I may or may not have bullied him into telling me.”
For the first time since she'd been in the tower, Ashlynn smiled. “You bullied him? And here I thought I was the only one who could do that.”
“Well I am under your tutelage.” Lilia linked her arm with Ashlynn's and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Tell me what I can do. How can I help?”
Ashlynn shook her head, at a loss. “I don't know. I have had nothing to do but think for the past two, almost three days and have come up
with no solution. I have prayed until my prayers have begun to repeat themselves, listened until the sound of silence burned in my ears and still, the Giver is silent. If there is a solution to this dilemma, I do not know it.”
“Jaryn said you wanted to send for Cavalon, but the messengers still haven't returned.”
Ashlynn waved a hand tiredly. “It's no matter. I will wait. How are Jaryn and Lochlainn?”
“They're fine, but they miss you dreadfully.” Lilia frowned thoughtfully. “I've been thinking - maybe I should go.”
“Don't be silly. You are noble born, not a messenger.”
“But I have wings.” As if to remind her, Lilia fluttered the colorful plumage on her back. “I cannot bear to think of you up here day after day, exhausted and unable to sleep, miserable, hurting yourself, whether intentional or not, and separated from your family. Let me do this for you. Please.”
Ashlynn looked at the younger woman, moved by her loyalty and concern. She touched Lilia's cheek with affection and Lilia frowned, sensing a denial in the face of her queen.
“Please, Ashlynn. The sooner Cavalon knows you are in distress, the faster he will be here to offer his help. You know that if he had known sooner this would have been solved by now.”
“You are too good to me.”
Finally Lilia smiled. She turned her head to kiss Ashlynn's palm before she could pull it away. “You are my queen and I am duty-bound to help you when and where I can. But more than that, you are my friend. I will go because I want to and for no other reason.” She tilted her head. “Does that mean you give me your permission?”
“Of course, but you will need to ask Jaryn as well.”
Lilia waved a hand. “If it is to help you, he will have no hesitance, I'm sure.” She grinned. “Zarra will be happy to have Cavalon back at court, even if only for a short time.”
This made Ashlynn chuckle. “Yes, that is great fun for all of us. It is one of the very few times she has absolutely nothing to say.”
“Then I will go speak with Jaryn right away.” Lilia looked to the window. “If I leave now I should make it before nightfall and hopefully you will be able to leave this dreadful tower.”
“If you want to visit for a few days while you are there...”
“Don't be ridiculous. I will come right back home.”
Home. Coming from Lilia, the word warmed her. Of all three girls, she'd had the hardest time adjusting to a life at court and away from her family. At her home in Caedia she'd been doted upon and had every want and whim met without hesitation. The young woman had pouted for weeks and attended Ashlynn with the air of a child whose favorite toy had been taken away. She was sent to Siness at the behest of her cousin Nuala, who had known Lilia since a young age despite living in a separate country. Lilia didn't even really seem to like Ashlynn very much. Whether it was a heart change or the other girls talking to her, her attitude improved over time and she was now akin to a little sister.
“I don't want you to fly all the way there and then turn around and come right back,” Ashlynn argued. “At least spend the night and rest, if only for my peace of mind.”
Lilia smirked. “I make no promises.” She stood and walked to the still-opened cell door. “Hold on a little longer, if you can.”
“I will try.” Ashlynn nodded as Lilia shut the door behind herself. “Be safe.”
“Always.”
~*~*~*~
The way the Volarim lived was different from any other clan or tribe Cavalon had come across in all his hundreds of years. He’d known of them, the mysterious winged people who could choose to be completely the animal of whose wings were a part of them, to be human with the wings still present, or to simply be human and wingless. The Volarim were the race of the message bearers, people who had rooms inside castles and small apartments in the larger villages. When news needed to be sent elsewhere or a message delivered quickly, they would fly to the destination, do their job, and rest in their assigned places until they were to be sent forth again. Even in the Sandlands where Cavalon hailed from, the winged creatures could be easily found. He’d never really cared to know anything more about them until recently.
After the war ended and Nuala was ready to return home, something inside Cavalon felt as though he needed to stay with her. It seemed unfair to just send her home after having suffered the loss of her husband. Yes, they had all met with deep losses, but Nuala had no one to comfort her in her own country, and neither did Cavalon. It made sense that he go with her and help her during her time of grieving.
Though not everyone who lived in Braemar was one of the winged race, Cavalon learned that the capital of the nation was made up almost exclusively of those with the gift of wings and that they did not keep what most considered to be normal schedules; being constantly on the move it was nearly impossible to do so. They slept only when they were tired, whether it was day or night, and ate only when they were hungry. There was a constant movement of coming and going, and sometimes it was hard to tell the time of day or night under the heavy covering of branches and leaves around them.
Each home was built with preservation in mind and a feeling of community. Trees were not cut down to make room for development, rather they were built into and around with new structures. Most homes were large and sheltered two or three families together unless they were nobility, and none of the houses were on the ground. Everything was highly elevated and only a few feet from the top of their coverage.
It took Cavalon some adjusting, having no ladder to climb down and no room nearby to shift so he could fly away. There was plenty of room on the forest floor and away from the capital aerial city of the high kingdom, but getting there was another story. With permission from Nuala, he ended up nailing thick branches into the trunk of one of the trees the royal house was built around so that when he needed to shift, he could simply climb down.
His being there all the time sparked whispering among the winged people. Yet his eagerness to learn about them, his shadowing of Ories when the raven winged man took temporary rule, and his desire to help their queen as she began the painful road to healing a broken heart softened them toward the Badarian. He slowly became a familiar face and a rare outsider to be accepted into their world for however long he decided to stay.
Nuala found him out on the balcony of his room when she went looking for him. She’d knocked on his door and only opened it when no answer came. Looking around quickly before deciding to search elsewhere, she caught sight of him outside and let herself in. Her steps were quiet as she passed through his quarters, hanging in the open doorway to the balcony for a moment. “Hello?” Her voice was quiet, but he turned with surprise. “Sorry. I knocked, but you must not have heard me.”
“No,” Cavalon admitted. “I’ve been off in my own little world. Come on out.” He waited until Nuala stood beside him before returning his gaze up to the dark canopy of leaves.
Nuala looked at him. “What are you thinking about?”
He shrugged. “A lot of things. I don’t know why, but I have a hundred different thoughts running through my head and I can’t seem to pick one to concentrate on.” He scrubbed a hand over his face to try and hide a yawn. “I’m exhausted, but I just can’t sleep.”
“Maybe talking about some of them will help.”
Cavalon looked over at her, his eyes taking in the soft curves of her face and the way her lips had a natural upturn at the edges. It always made her look like she was fighting a smile. For a long time it seemed as though she would never smile again and he was glad to see her slowly coming out of her grief. Turning, he leaned sideways against the banister to face her fully. There were things he wanted to say but found none of them could be put into proper words. It was annoying to be tongue-tied, but Nuala appeared amused. She turned to face him, mirroring his stance. It made him chuckle.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“You’re a piece of work.”
“Thank you.”
He shook
his head again and breathed out a sigh. “I was thinking about Ashlynn and how close we came to losing her.” He looked down. “I’m not going to lie, I was scared.”
“So was I.”
Cavalon’s lips pursed for a moment. “I started rethinking things, wondering if this life change that I’ve made, forming friendships and relationships, was such a good idea after all.” There was sorrow on his face when he returned his eyes to Nuala’s. “I started questioning again if it was worth all the heartache.”
She nodded in understanding. “What did you decide?”
Now he turned again to lean his stomach on the banister, arms crossed atop it. “I realized, thinking about Ashlynn dying, how much I care about her. Not because of who she looks like or what she is, but because I care about her. She’s family now, she’s my sister, and as much as it hurt to think of losing her, I realized it was a good thing to feel that hurt. It meant I cared and I haven’t cared in a really long time.” He paused before adding, “It makes the pain of loss worth it.”
Nuala reached over to place a hand on his arm, hearing an undertone of shame in his voice. “Love is not a weakness, Cavalon.”
“I know that. I used to know that, but I got so wrapped up in the hurt and the vulnerability of it all that it just didn’t feel like it should matter anymore.” He looked at her. “Do you know what I mean?”
“I do,” she assured. “I have seen many of my friends and family pass from this life and onto the next, and each time I question the worth of loving someone.”
“What do you tell yourself?”
“I remind myself of how lonely life would be with no one to share it.” She took a step closer to him, sliding her other hand under his arm to touch her fingers together. “The sorrow goes deep, and sometimes it lasts a long time, but think of how much joy would be lost by keeping to yourself. Think of how much you add to others' lives just by being part of them.” She tilted her head to look into his face. “I do not know how I would have survived this past year if you had not been here, and I know you were here because you cared.”