Home to Cedarwood

by Megan Slayer

  Jordan remembered Bobby fondly. They’d also been friends in school. Bobby had known math like no one’s business and had ruled the debate team. He and Colin had been friends, too. If he felt the same isolation Colin and Farin felt… “I can’t answer for Mr. Baker or his son. We’re still figuring out what’s happening between us, but I am interested. Twenty-four hours ago, I would’ve laughed. I wasn’t ready to come out, let alone be the face of change, but I can’t stand back and let kids get hurt because a few adults don’t like a small portion of the community.”

  “You’re a real trooper.” Chief hooked his fingers into his belt loops. “We’ll catch the person or persons who defaced Mr. Baker’s car.”

  “I know you will.”

  “Why don’t you go out there and make sure they’re both okay? Thanks, Hargrove.”

  “Not a problem, Chief.” Jordan left the chief’s office and headed straight to the visitors’ area. He didn’t see Farin or Colin. When he glanced back at the girl behind the desk, she pointed to the parking lot. He hurried outside.

  Colin and Farin stood together in deep discussion. Gage had a hold of his father’s hand and kicked at something on the ground. Jordan couldn’t make out the words between Colin and Farin. Colin looked up first. He managed to smile, but the light didn’t quite meet his eyes.

  “Hey.” Colin sighed. “Looks like I’m making a trip to Tony’s for new tires and a paint job.”

  “We’re going to catch who did it,” Jordan said. “This isn’t going to keep happening.”

  “You think?” Weariness clouded Colin’s voice. “Makes me wonder why I ever moved back here.”

  Farin’s eyes widened and the corner of his mouth kinked, but in a smile. Tension between the three men increased, but Farin kept quiet. Instead, he helped Gage into the truck.

  “I’d like to think you came back because you wanted a fresh start in a safe place,” Jordan said. He’d like to think Colin came back for him, but he knew better. Colin had no way of knowing he’d returned to Cedarwood too.

  “How safe is it when someone fucking breaks into my house?” Colin’s words came out choked and he didn’t look at Jordan. “My kid could’ve been in there. Yeah, he was with Far, but come on. I feel like I can’t protect him. There are people leaving shit on my front porch. They leave hate mail at the store and my kid is getting picked on at school because his old man is gay. This doesn’t happen in other towns. It doesn’t.” He shook his head. “I’m ready to leave this shithole. I can’t stay where we’re not safe or wanted.”

  “Slow down.” Jordan tugged Colin into his arms. “You said you had video of the vandal. That’ll help tons. Besides, the person didn’t get into the house.” He hesitated. “And you’ve got Farin and me on your side. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” Besides, I’m not sure I want you to go.

  “They already did. This town blows. I never should’ve dragged my kid back here.” Colin shrugged away from Jordan and shook his head. He wandered down the parking lot toward the sidewalk.

  Jordan started after him, but Farin stopped him. “Give him some space. I know what you’re trying to do, and I’m on your side. He’s been through a lot. Come on. We’ll keep him in sight.” He waved his hand.

  Jordan kept in step with Farin and watched Colin. “What’s he been through?”

  “He’d kick my ass for saying, but fuck it,” Farin said. “I love my brother and I’ve got the feeling you do, too. Okay, the thing with getting Gage. He and Nicolas decided to adopt. They had a friend whose daughter was too young to be having a kid. The girl was all for someone adopting the kid. Mom too. Colin jumped in with both feet. He keeps the ladies in the loop. Nicolas… That fucktard wanted the kid until the first night he couldn’t sleep. Then all of a sudden, he’s not interested. Fucker. He lied. He said he was keeping up a brave face because he wasn’t quite ready to leave Colin. It was a farce and everyone but Colin knew Nicolas was miserable. Nicolas started looking a long time before he left Colin, but Colin refused to give up.”

  “I’m sorry.” He and Farin followed Colin until Colin entered the bookstore. “He’s somewhere safe.”

  “He is.” Farin stepped in front of Jordan on the sidewalk. “He’s got you. As much as I hated your guts for treating him like shit. I mean, you did. You knew full well he liked you. If you didn’t, you were blind, and I know you’re not.”

  “I wasn’t in a good place to admit what I wanted.”

  “I don’t want to, but I believe you. I’ve dated my share of closet cases.” Farin massaged his temples. “But you’re the safe place he needs to fall. You’ll have to suck it up if he goes through with deciding to move, though. He’s serious.”

  “I’m not going to leave him.” Jordan stared at the bookstore. Although he wasn’t sure he was ready for Colin to leave Cedarwood, he understood. The man needed to protect his family. “I’m tired of denying myself what I want and tired of letting this fucking town push me around. I’ve been a little in love with Colin since school. Those feelings haven’t died. They got stronger. I like Gage and want him to like me. If it takes forever to get them both to understand, then I’m in for the duration.” He clapped Farin on the shoulder. “You have my word and if I go back on it, you’ve got my permission to break my legs or do whatever other bodily harm you suggested.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Three days after Colin had discovered the vandalism on his SUV, he sat in his office at the bookstore and flipped through the listings for apartments in Indiana. He and Gage had spent all three nights with Farin. He shouldn’t have been afraid to go home, but damn it, he felt violated. He’d talked to Jordan each day but hadn’t been able to see his boyfriend in person on account of their conflicting schedules. He hated feeling so fucking afraid, but none of the apartments appealed to him. Rather, none suited his needs.

  Colin stared at the shelves of books and breathed in the stale scent of paper and ink. He needed to get Gage from school. Needed to be sure his son was fine, despite the fact that the kid had bounced back within a day of the incident. Gage kept repeating he didn’t want another dad because he had one and that was enough. Colin shook his head. Everything was so fucked-up—someone hated him enough to leave nasty messages on his vehicle. Why would anyone do that? His kid didn’t want to allow another person into their lives. Colin understood, but he couldn’t help his desire for Jordan.

  The bell above the front door dinged, but he ignored the sound. His brain buzzed with too much information. When he turned around in his office, Jordan stood in the doorway.

  “Didn’t we just have a conversation like this? You bursting into my office?” Colin asked. He collapsed on the edge of his desk. “I like this way better. Less commotion.”

  “We had a conversation, but yeah, no stomping or bursting.” Jordan closed the door and made his way to Colin. “I’m also not apologizing.”

  “Oh good.” He scrubbed both hands across his face. God. “What the hell is going on here? Why would someone deface my vehicle?”

  “One thing at a time. First, Delaney and the chief are both working on your case. That’s big. Second, Farin’s picking Gage up from school. He seemed to think you’d need your son here at the store. I agree. I don’t like how this person scared you. Brings out my protective streak like you wouldn’t believe.” Jordan curled his fingers under Colin’s chin. “Third, you can be weak, strong, whatever you need with me. I’m here for you. This is what’s meant to be—you and me and Gage.”

  He stared at Jordan. He knew his heart, but he refused to keep pushing Jordan. Yes, Jordan had come out, but they were still moving at warp speed. Three weeks to figure out they were an exclusive couple? “You’re sure you can handle this if Gage isn’t on board and I’m ready to move out of this shit show?”

  “I’m quite sure this is what I want—wherever you are. What’s happening between us has had at least a fifteen-year buildup. I’d say we were moving pretty slow.” Jordan tipped his head to the side and smiled. �
��We’ll get through this. Promise. I told Farin we’d have a family date night. I want him and Gage included. Gage is part of you. He seems to have warmed up to me, but if there are bumps, I’ll wait as he comes around.”

  Colin stared at him. The things he’d wanted and dreamed of were happening. He had a guy who loved him and his son. He’d thought he had those things with Nicolas. But that dream died when Nic walked out the door. Did he have the heart and strength to stick through thick and thin with Jordan? Or was he being honest with himself about wanting to move?

  “You don’t buy it, do you? Because of Nicolas. I’m a turd, a dick and a jerk, but I’m not him.” Jordan situated himself between Colin’s knees. “I’m not saying we move in together tonight. Not even next week. But I am saying I’m all yours. I don’t need to date anyone else or be with anyone else. I admitted to the world I’m gay. You did that. You made me brave.” He smoothed his hands around Colin’s waist. “If someone wants to toilet paper the house or defile the car, then let them. They aren’t going to change my mind.”

  “You’re crazy.” Colin stood, ensnaring Jordan in his embrace. “But I like your kind of crazy.” He held on to Jordan for what seemed like an eternity. Being together felt right and his world balanced.

  “Col? You in there?” Farin knocked on the door and opened it at the same time. “Oh. You’re with a client.”

  Gage raced past him and threw himself around Colin’s waist. “Dad.”

  “Hey, kid.” Colin hugged his son. “How was school?”

  “Good. I’m learning multiplication.” Gage grabbed Jordan’s hand. “That kid asked me if the cop was going to live at my house. I told him no. He’s still being mean, but Dad said to ignore him, so I’m trying.”

  “I can’t arrest him,” Jordan said. “But I’m glad you’re ignoring him. Don’t give him power over you.”

  Colin met Jordan’s gaze. He never should’ve worried about how Jordan and Gage would get along. They’d need time, but soon they’d probably be best buddies. He noticed Farin lingering at the door. Farin smiled, but the muscle in his jaw twitched. Was his brother jealous? Farin never liked Jordan all that much, but he’d also been single for a long time. Maybe it was time for Farin to find a partner.

  “I’ve got to get back to the store.” Farin ducked out of the office and left the three of them alone.

  “I’m sorry.” From his hairline to the opening of his shirt, Jordan blushed. “Are you still thinking about moving out of Cedarwood?”

  “I was.”

  “Would you listen if I begged you to reconsider?”

  “I might. I don’t think leaving is the answer to the problem. Gage is happy in school, the business and my brother are both here, you’re here…” Colin kissed Jordan, then kissed Gage on the forehead. “We’ve got each other. As for Farin, maybe we can find him a date.”

  “You never know.” Jordan sighed. “I do need to go. I’ve got to get ready for my shift. Not until five, but I need to gather my stuff and shower.”

  “No problem. You’ll keep me in the loop on the other thing…” Colin left the question open-ended.

  “I will. I’ll touch base with Delaney when I go in.” Jordan pecked Colin on the cheek, then turned his attention to Gage. “You’re okay with Daddy having a boyfriend?”

  “No.” Gage rolled his eyes and waggled his head, then turned to Colin. “But you’re lonely and you’re my dad. I don’t want another, but you want a boyfriend, so…whatever.”

  “Gage.” Colin wasn’t sure what to say. “What do you mean by whatever?”

  “Date.” Gage glared at him. “But I get a girlfriend, too.”

  “A girlfriend?” Jordan chuckled. “Already?”

  Gage shrugged and wandered out of the room.

  Colin massaged his temple. “I guess that’s his seal of approval.”

  “Cool. I’ll call you in the morning.” Jordan lingered with Colin and Gage for a moment longer, then walked out of the office.

  Gage wriggled in Colin’s arms. “Can I draw on your desk?”

  Colin set his son on his feet. “If you mean on paper on my desk, then yes. I’ll be right back. I’m going to talk to your uncle.” He made sure Gage was happy with crayons and paper, then headed out to the front desk. Farin stood at the register, flipping pages on a clipboard.

  “Got a minute?” Colin said. He stopped beside his brother. “We’re trying out a relationship. May work. May not.”

  “Please.” Farin groaned. “You two were meant to be together. Everyone in town knows it. I’m shocked it took you this long to tell anyone.”

  “Then what’s your beef?”

  “I’m jealous. Plain and simple. You get the guy. I want one.” Farin flattened his palms on the counter. “I’d like one with a little less drama. No defacing and crap.”

  “I understand. You’ll find one. I never thought I’d find a date, let alone a boyfriend after Nicolas. It’ll happen.” He clapped Farin on the shoulder. “Oh and Gage and I will need a ride home tonight.”

  “Want me to head up your group session tonight too?” Farin snorted. “I could claim Gage as a part-time child of mine.”

  “You could. Or just come along. It’s worth a shot if you want to meet someone.”

  “I might.” Farin grinned. “I just might.”

  Colin returned to his office. Gage, happily coloring and reading, curled up in the beanbag chair in the corner until Farin and Colin closed for the evening. Once the bookstore was locked, Colin, Gage and Farin went home. Police tape flapped on the garage. Thankfully, Gage didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he quizzed Farin about the comic book he’d brought home from the store.

  Colin peeled his son from his brother and took the child into the house. He plugged his phone into the charger, then helped Gage get ready for bed.

  “Can I have a girlfriend now?” Gage sat on his bed. “Since your boyfriend is Officer Hargrove?”

  “Maybe. What do you think about Jordan? Think we can let him stick around?”

  “He’s staying?”

  “Not tonight, but eventually. I like him.” He brushed a lock of Gage’s hair from his forehead. “I’m not going to promise he won’t leave, but I can guarantee I won’t. You’ve got me forever, kiddo.”

  “Good.” Gage flopped onto the mattress. “Daddy likes a police cop.” He giggled and wiggled in the bedding. “A police cop.”

  “He’s one or the other.” Colin laughed with his son, then kissed Gage on the forehead. “Good night, goofball.”

  “Night, Daddy.” Gage buried under the covers, still giggling.

  Colin left his son alone in the bedroom then headed down to his own bedroom. The stress of the day washed over him. He flopped on his bed and closed his eyes. Thankfully, he’d already locked up. He didn’t bother to brush his teeth or change. Instead, he dropped off to sleep. When he rolled over, something buzzed. He swatted the bedding. What in the hell was making that noise?

  Colin blinked until the room came into focus. He breathed in deeply, then sighed. He recognized the sound—his phone. Who in the hell was calling him at such a late hour? He glanced over at the clock beside the bed.

  Seven? Fingers of light stretched across the mattress and the floor. Seven in the morning? Shit. He grabbed the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hey, sleepyhead. Did you just get up?” Jordan asked. “Or are you getting Gage ready for school?”

  Colin wiped his face with his hand. “I did just wake up. Missed my alarm. I must’ve had too much excitement yesterday.” Crap. He did need to get Gage around for the bus.

  “Well, I’ve got more for you. Mind if I come over? I just finished my shift, but I don’t think I could settle down until I see you,” Jordan said.

  “You’re that turned on?” Colin massaged the growing bulge in his pants. He was definitely ready to see his man. But first he had to take care of his kid.

  “I can’t wait to see you. But I’ve got news on the case. Will you be home?”

&n
bsp; “I will.”

  “See you in five. I’m on your street. Figured you wouldn’t care.”

  “I don’t.” Colin hung up and laughed. Being in a relationship was good. He sat up and stretched. He needed to get dressed in something besides the clothes he’d worn the day before. He shrugged out of the pants and boxers, then his shirt. He donned an old concert T-shirt, boxer shorts and a pair of sleep pants and wandered down the hall to Gage’s room.

  The telltale clink of silverware on dishware alerted Colin to Gage’s location. He descended the stairs and met his son in the kitchen. Gage crunched on fruity cereal.

  A knock on the door grabbed Colin’s attention.

  “Is the police cop here?” Gage left his chair. “He is!”

  Colin followed Gage to the front door. Jordan, still in his uniform, waited on the stoop.

  “Hey, buddy.” Jordan grinned. “Getting ready for school?”

  “Yep.” Gage bounded back to the table. “Dad says if I don’t get ready, I’ll be late and he doesn’t want a ticket.”

  “I never said that.” Colin opened the front door. “He’s got a lively imagination.”

  “It’s okay. He’s a kid.” Jordan brushed past Colin. “You look so hot. Love the just-out-of-bed look.”

  “Thanks.” The tips of Colin’s ears burned. He hadn’t blushed in years. He closed the door, then followed Jordan to the kitchen. “Better wrap it up, kid. The bus will be here in ten and you haven’t brushed your teeth yet or brushed your hair.”

  “I will.” Gage patted the back of the chair next to his. “Sit.”

  Jordan glanced back at Colin. “Me?”

  “Yes.” Colin switched on the coffeepot. The little cup slipped into the chamber and, within moments, the scent of vanilla cream coffee filled the room.

  “That smells awesome.” Jordan took his place next to Gage. “Do you like school?”

  “I guess.” Gage finished his cereal. “It’s good until Kase insults Dad. Then it’s not fun.”

  “He won’t be insulting your dad for a while.” Jordan laced his fingers together and plopped his hands on the bar. “Promise.”