One Epic Ring: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 14)

by Michael Anderle

  James frowned more deeply with each step. Everyone in LA was supposed to understand they didn’t mess with his home. Even the Demon Generals understood that. He’d heard that property values were going up in the neighborhood, and he’d had to deal with a couple of realtors calling him and asking him if he’d make public statements of defense of other neighborhoods.

  If some fucking level five has shown up to challenge me, I’m gonna be seriously pissed.

  As James and Shay closed, it became apparent the person on James’ porch was leaning back against the wall, unmoving. The house was undamaged, along with the backyard fence.

  “Shit,” James rumbled. “Hope no one left a body on my doorstep. That would be annoying. So much paperwork.”

  Shay laughed. “Probably more annoying for the person who died.”

  James’ hand dropped. He doubted an attack was coming.

  “If I can’t tie the body to a bounty, the cops will crawl up my ass and all over the house looking for evidence, and we just got back from fucking Cambodia.”

  James looked around to make sure none of his neighbors were out on the street. If a fight started, he’d need to immediately slam his enemy into his home to lower the chance of innocent people getting hurt.

  Shit, but Thomas is probably sleeping in there.

  James furrowed his brow. He’d need to smash the person into his garage instead. His dog would probably take the hint and use his doggy door to escape to the backyard. No innocent people or dogs hurt then.

  Different tactical scenarios passed through the bounty hunter’s head as they moved closer to his porch. The sleeping person didn’t move as they came close enough to make out her features. She was an attractive brunette in a rumpled silk vest, shirt, and slacks, a long coat wrapped around her like a blanket. Her head fell forward as she slumbered, and she had a shiny gold orb in her lap.

  James’ concern vanished, to be replaced by confusion.

  “Why the fuck is Kathy sleeping on my porch?” he asked. “Tyler didn’t call me. Did he call you? Or Maria?”

  Shay shook her head. “Haven’t heard anything from them.”

  They marched up to the porch. James tugged her coat off and looked her over for wounds or blood but spotted nothing. Her chest rose and fell. He glanced up at Shay, and she shrugged.

  James cleared his throat loudly.

  Kathy’s eyes fluttered open, and she lifted her head. “Brownstone?”

  He shrugged. “Why do you sound so surprised? It’s my fucking house, not some hostel for bartenders.”

  The woman sighed. “You need a more comfortable porch. By the way, I think your neighbor Mrs. Garth believes I’m your pregnant mistress or something now. Sorry if that causes you trouble.”

  Shay laughed. “At least she didn’t call the cops on you.”

  James grunted. “Why are you sleeping on my porch?”

  Kathy eyed the orb and set it down before standing. She inhaled deeply and stretched. Her shirtsleeves rode back to reveal a series of tattooed glyphs on one of her arms. James frowned.

  “This is hard to explain, but I need your help.” She sighed. “And thank you for coming home sooner than I expected. It saved me having to explain myself again to your neighbors or the pizza guy. I need you to follow me. My car’s parked up the street. You can just follow me in yours.” She pointed to the orb. “I’d leave that there for now. I wouldn’t touch it, either.”

  James shrugged. “Why?”

  “Can’t tell you.”

  Shay crossed her arms. “Can’t or won’t?”

  Kathy laughed. Desperation colored the sound. “I don’t know, both? Just follow me. Please.” She hopped off the porch and walked toward the street.

  James and Shay exchanged looks.

  “That tattoo’s new,” he observed. “And weird.”

  Shay nodded. “Yeah, and I might not be a witch—and neither is Kathy—but I recognize arcane glyphs when I see them. They’ve got to mean something.”

  James frowned as Kathy crossed the street, weariness in her step.

  “You think this is a trap?” he asked.

  “Probably not.” Shay shrugged. “It’s kind of obvious for that.” She pointed to the orb. “I have no idea what this is either, but I’m guessing it’s not good.”

  “Maybe it’s part of the trap.”

  She looked at him as Kathy continued down the street. “Even if it is a trap, I’d rather just spring it and get it over with. Fuck, I’m tired. I was looking forward to a little rest after that tomb raid.”

  “But we might be walking into some magic shit,” James rumbled. “And your ring has stopped working.”

  “I’ve got you, and I don’t give a shit that you’re worried. When push comes to shove, Whispy does what you tell him to.” Shay chuckled. “Just because a dog’s willful doesn’t mean it can’t be trained.”

  James smirked. “Just not sure who’s supposed to be the dog. Let’s go.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  They followed Kathy in the Fiat. She took a winding path through town, the property values decreasing with each minute. She eventually pulled off the road and parked in front of a darkened alley in a mostly abandoned industrial area. Shay parked right behind her.

  James had already bonded Whispy, who thrummed with excitement about possible killings. The bounty hunter stepped out of the Fiat at the same time as Shay, already equipped with their tactical vests and extra magazines. They walked over to the waiting Kathy.

  Neither of them knew what to expect, so James took the tachi and Shay settled on her gnome knives.

  “So what’s the big deal?” James asked.

  Kathy pointed down the alley. It ran behind tall double doors leading into a small warehouse, the wooden wall cracked and weathered. A huge Kilomea in a purple suit and gold chains stood in front of the door, his thick arms crossed. He looked their way.

  Minimum adaptation potential, Whispy reported.

  James wasn’t so sure about that. A thuggish Oriceran guard meant others might be around, and Oricerans meant magic.

  “Do you know where this is?” Kathy asked.

  James shrugged. “Some Oriceran brothel?”

  Shay snickered. “That would explain Pimp Boy over there.”

  “I…can’t explain. I think.” Kathy sighed and shook her head.

  “You think?” James frowned.

  “Let’s just go in.” Kathy looked away. “Please.”

  James shrugged. “Just so you know, if this is a trap I’ll probably kill you.”

  Shay nodded her agreement.

  Kill enemy, Whispy ordered.

  Need to figure out who the enemy is first.

  Kathy gave him a weary laugh. “Sounds fair. Let’s just say I’m not all that worried about you killing me.” She set off down the alley with a shrug.

  The trio marched up to the doors, James and Shay a few feet behind Kathy.

  The Kilomea glared at them and uncrossed his arms to clench his meaty hands into fists at his sides. “What the fuck are you doing here, Brownstone?” he growled. “You’ve got a lot of fucking balls to come to the Eyes’ place after what you did. If you knew what was good for you, you would run to Mexico and never come back, you dumb piece of shit.”

  James’ heart pounded, and his face twitched.

  Now I get it. The Eyes, huh?

  Kill enemy, Whispy suggested again.

  Yeah, that’s a good fucking idea. Time for a lot of killing.

  “Did you just say ‘the Eyes?’” James asked.

  The Kilomea furrowed his brow. “Are you as deaf as you are ugly, Brownstone?” He pointed to the sword. “And what’s this shit? This ain’t no movie. You think you’re a samurai? That some shit you took from those pussy Harriken?”

  “Glass houses, pimp boy,” Shay offered. “Or maybe you just haven’t looked in a mirror and don’t understand how ridiculous you look.”

  The Kilomea growled. “Fuck you.” He pointed at Kathy. “And you
’re dead, bitch. The Eyes already told us if you showed up with anyone to beat your ass and take you to him. But don’t think you’ll die nice and slow. He’ll make you suffer extra-special for bringing Brownstone.”

  James stepped forward. The huge Oriceran towered over him, and the bounty hunter continued defiantly glaring up at him.

  “Take me to the Eyes right now,” James ordered, his voice even lower and more grinding than the Kilomea’s. “I have some shit to discuss with him, and it doesn’t involve you, asshole.”

  “The Eyes don’t want to see your ugly human ass.” The Kilomea flexed his fingers. “And if you don’t want you and your pretty little bitch to die, you should turn around and walk away right now.” He snorted. “The Eyes might think about forgiving you then.” He nodded at Kathy. “But she stays. She owes the Eyes.”

  Shay sighed. “James, if you’re not gonna kill him, then let me. He’s getting on my nerves, and I can’t get over that outfit. It’s even worse than your coats.”

  James cracked his knuckles. “Nah. Kathy’s not the only one who owes the Eyes. I owe the Eyes and his people for what they did to my truck.” He grunted. “I was gonna handle it after some barbeque, but sooner’s always better than later.”

  Kathy backed away, rubbing her wrists.

  The Kilomea and the bounty hunter locked eyes, murder in both pairs.

  The Oriceran backed up with a grin and stretched out his arms. “You know what? Bring it, Brownstone. Fuck you. I’ll give you the first and last punch, then I’m gonna beat you to death in front of both these bitches. Or are you gonna be a pussy and use your sword?”

  James grunted. “Don’t need a sword to deal with a piece of shit like you.”

  The bounty hunter shrugged and leapt into the air, bringing his arm back. He slammed his fist into the Kilomea’s face, and the massive guard’s head snapped back. He stumbled and fell to one knee, blood gushing from his broken nose. The huge Oriceran shook his head a few times to clear it.

  James yanked out his .45 and put two rounds into his head. The Kilomea’s body fell back and landed with a thud.

  “I don’t need to waste the sword on garbage like you,” James muttered.

  Kathy blinked and ran her hands through her hair. “Oh, shit. That’s that, then. Not that I didn’t think something like this was going to happen, but we’re now officially fighting the Eyes.”

  Shay shrugged and pulled out her 9mm. “I figured we’d wait to kill people until we at least got through the doors, but whatever works.”

  “More of the Eyes’ guys I kill, the less trouble they’ll be later.” James marched over to the Kilomea’s body and frowned. “I don’t know how you’re mixed up in all this shit, Kathy, but the Eyes’ men tried to kill me and fucked up my truck, so I’m gonna go in there and make him understand why that was a dumbass idea. This shit isn’t for you. It’s for me.”

  Kathy swallowed. “No complaints from me, but…” She sighed. “There are a lot of innocent people in there. I know they’re junkies, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to die.”

  James snorted. “Don’t worry. I’m only gonna kill the people who try to kill me, and the Eyes. That fucker’s going down no matter what.”

  Hope filled Kathy’s face.

  “You stay here,” James ordered. “Shay and I are gonna go get loud.” He marched over to the double doors, Shay behind him. “Ready?”

  She raised her gun. “Not as much fun as blowing up cocky assholes with ancient Atlantean weapons, but, yeah.”

  James threw open the doors and coughed as dense, aromatic smoke poured out of the building. A young woman sat in a corner of the sparse hallway, drool running out of her mouth. Bands of light flowed over her. A man sprawled next to her, staring at the ceiling with a blissful expression on his face and the same light on his body.

  Hearing about the people seeking the Eyes’ unique bliss wasn’t the same as seeing them. James wrinkled his nose in disgust. He’d stick to his barbeque addiction.

  The darkened hallway extended to the left and the right. Different people, most humans but many not, sat in chairs or couches lining the hallway, all similar to the woman and the man, all euphoric and unaware.

  I should have killed this fucker a long time ago. I bet this shit isn’t just their brains getting rearranged.

  Kill the enemy, Whispy agreed.

  With a shout, a human thug in another tacky suit charged down the hall, shotgun in hand. He glared at James and his gun thundered and spit its pellets at the bounty hunter.

  James grunted at the stinging blast and took a step forward, and the pellets fell to the ground. The guard fired again, and James raised his gun and put a single bullet in the man’s head. The brave but foolish guard fell to the floor, a pool of blood forming beneath him.

  Shay ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek and gestured at all the euphoric customers. “Check them out.”

  James looked around with a frown. None twitched, moved, or gave any indication of noticing the gunfire and death that had unfolded right in front of them.

  “Huh. You figure a gunfight right in front of them might have woken them up.”

  Shay’s face twisted in disgust. “At least it’ll be easy to know who to shoot, and we don’t have to worry about people running around in a panic.”

  “Yeah.” James chuckled. “The Eyes’ bullshit business is gonna make it easier to take him down.”

  Heavy footfalls sounded from both sides. Shay crouched by the wall, her gun ready. “It’ll be quicker if we go both ways and clear things out.”

  She opened fire as a human and an elf appeared from the far corner of the hallway. The human dropped without a sound, but the elf managed a scream as he collapsed.

  James turned toward the other end of the hall. “If you see the Eyes, he’s mine.”

  “Isn’t his thing being hard to see?” Shay laughed and jogged forward.

  Minor adaptation potential, Whispy reported.

  Sometimes there are things more important than adaption, like avenging my truck.

  James stomped down the hall. The double doors at the end flew open and two elves emerged, both glowing. A faint harsh melody played in the air.

  He fired at both, but the bullets disappeared in a shower of multi-colored sparks.

  “That shit’s annoying,” he muttered.

  The elves looked at each other and smirked.

  The sound of gunfire, shouts, and screaming echoed from Shay’s direction. Someone was making her quota, and it was time for James to catch up.

  He continued his advance on the elves. They both raised their arms and traced circles in the air while they muttered incantations under their breath. A fireball grew in front of one, and an ice spear in front of the other.

  James snorted.

  Their magic shot forward and struck James. The fire and ice destroyed his latest shirt but accomplished little else than mild pricks of pain.

  Near maximum adaptation achieved, Whispy reported. Kill enemy.

  The elves frowned and took a step back.

  “You starting to get it, assholes?” James shouted. “This is why you should have never fucked with me.”

  The elves frowned and launched another volley and James grunted as the combined blast blinded him for a brief moment. His charred holster and tactical vest dropped to the floor, the heavy magazines inside thudding when they hit.

  James tossed his gun down. “Who gives a shit? I lost my favorite not all that long ago, and I didn’t bring along any anti-magic bullets.” He drew the sword. “Where’s the Eyes, assholes?”

  His opponents frowned deeper and performed even more intricate hand movements while chanting what sounded like a wordless melody to him. The bounty hunter stalked forward slowly and deliberately.

  He had closed to within a couple of yards when two bright rays of energy, one crimson and the other azure, blasted from the elves and twisted around each other into a single ray. It slammed into James and he stumbled bac
k, hissing in pain.

  Minor damage received. Additional adaptation and regeneration in progress. Kill enemy.

  James looked down at the charred skin on his chest and back up at the elves. When he took another step forward, the confidence in the elves’ eyes faded.

  “Wondering why I’m not dead yet?” James shook his head. “Or worrying about how soon you’re gonna die?”

  They raised their arms again and took deep breaths before chanting a new spell.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” James announced, taking another step. “Some bullshit about your shields, but you’re not safe with those weak-ass spells. Not from me, assholes.” He slashed with the tachi and decapitated one of the elves.

  The blood splattered over his partner, who stumbled backward and slammed into the wall, shock plastered on his face. James didn’t even give him time to beg for his life before stabbing the elf through the heart with a grunt. The elf blinked a few times before his head lolled forward and blood dripped out of his mouth.

  James yanked the blade out of his latest victim and shook his head. “All you had to do was tell me where he was and run the fuck away. You chose the wrong boss, assholes.”

  Distant gunfire continued to sound, along with men’s’ screams.

  Sounds like Shay’s doing okay.

  James marched toward the darkened room behind the double doors. A single dim flickering bulb swung on a chain, leaving more shadows than bright spots in the all-but-featureless room.

  A suited gnome stepped out of the darkened corner holding a brass smoothbore musket covered with silver and gold filigree. He raised the weapon.

  “Leave or die,” the gnome demanded.

  “I don’t give a shit about you,” James explained. “Where the fuck is the Eyes?”

  “Die, Brownstone,” the gnome shouted and pulled the trigger.

  A thin white beam shot from the musket and pierced James’ left shoulder. Pain blasted and radiated down his arm and chest. He jerked back and growled.

  Yessss, Whispy hissed. New adaptation in progress. Regeneration in progress.