“Okay, no problem. Sounds good, but if I’m needed before Sunday, just let me know. If not it means I can finish up working on a few projects. Then you have my one-hundred-percent commitment.” Ryan blows out a long deep breath before walking away from us. “What the hell is wrong with him?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll get to the bottom of it.”
“I’ll see you later,” I say before walking away from Les. Greg is standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me. I shouldn’t and I know it, but I risk a look over my shoulder toward Ryan. He’s standing beside Dylan, watching me. I don’t allow my gaze to linger, but I can’t promise myself my thoughts won’t. Especially if I’m going to be spending my time looking through pictures of him.
That bloody man.
I was right when I said he was trouble.
I kick the front door closed behind me, with more force than was totally necessary. It’s almost midnight, and Dani will be in bed. God, I don’t want to wake her. I’m sure she has an early start in the morning, if I remember correctly. Her shifts in the shop have been all over the place the past few weeks as she’s gotten busier, and that’s not a bad thing.
Crazy, I was so consumed in the office ensuring all my tasks were completed, I didn’t even notice the time until security did a check of our floor. They were surprised someone was still working. They weren’t the only ones. My phone has beeped on and off all night but I’ve not answered any calls. I did reply to a text from Dani saying we should have a night out at the weekend. I told her I’d wait until I knew what time I was leaving on Sunday. There’s no way I want to fly with a hangover.
I leave my bag in the hallway but take my phone out and stare at all the missed calls from Ryan. With a sigh, I make my way toward the kitchen to get some water. Having sent the chief editor my final version of a story, I don’t need to set an alarm for the morning. Which, right now, I’m thankful for.
As I take the bottle of water and make my way to my bedroom, my phone beeps again. A text from Ryan: You’ve ignored my calls all night. Have I done something wrong?
Me: I’m just in the door from work and I’m going to bed. Can we talk tomorrow?
Closing my room door, I sigh when my phone flashes in my hand. Quickly, I answer. “What is it?” I ask, my voice heavy and the question straight to the point.
“Why are you just home?”
“Because I had a lot to do.”
“You’ve been in the office all this time?”
“Yes. Now, what is it that can’t wait until tomorrow?”
“I was worried when I couldn’t reach you.”
I shake my head as my frustration grows. “What did you want to speak to me about earlier?”
“Erm… I wanted to apologise for the way I was before you left trackside. I was off and it wasn’t your fault.”
“You don’t have to explain to me.”
“I do. Dylan got to me. He had a go at me about us, and in return, I closed off from you.”
I listen to him, but I’m too tired to think about what he’s saying. He doesn’t owe me anything, not even an explanation. “Okay. Look, I’m exhausted. It’s been a hectic few days and I need to sleep.”
He’s silent for a long drawn out moment before he speaks. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’m not sure what I have on in the afternoon. I’ll see you Sunday.”
“That’s too long away,” he all but whispers. “I need to see you.”
His words should frighten me, but they don’t. I close my eyes, hoping I can find the right words to utter in return. “Need or want?” I can’t believe that’s what I choose to say.
“Both. Right now I wish you were here with me.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“To me, it sounds perfect. Lying with you tucked into my chest and my arms wrapped around you, protecting you.”
His words hit me hard.
Does he have feelings for me or is he just playing a game?
“I don’t need protecting. I’ve done a pretty good job of protecting myself. Now, I’ll see what, if any, time I have tomorrow and give you a call.”
“That’s all I ask. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“Night,” I say and end our call. I put my phone on the dresser, but not before switching it to silent. I’m tired and I don’t want anything to disturb my sleep.
“And what time do you call this to rock into work?”
I smile politely at the fucking bitch that is Felicity standing before me with her arm held up as she looks at the Rolex watch. I swear she does things like this on purpose. I couldn’t give a flying monkey about her expensive shit. It’s a watch, and like every other watch on the planet, it tells the time.
“I don’t think it’s anything to do with you,” I say as she pouts and puts her hands on her hips.
“I think you’ll find it does have something to do with me, considering it’s Daddy who pays your wages.”
“Yes, he does, but I don’t answer to you. Frank is my boss, but if you really must know, I’m only in to check over a few things. I won’t be in the office the next few weeks as I’m off to Monaco on Sunday with Ryan.”
I can’t help the smug grin on my face as Felicity now has her mouth open, gaping at me. “What do you mean going to Monaco with Ryan?”
I straighten my shoulders. “He has commitments. Surely as the sports reporter you should know this.”
She takes a step closer to me. “You really think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? How did you get that particular assignment? No one likes anyone who thinks they can sleep their way to the top.”
I beg your pardon?
Who the hell does she think I’ve been sleeping with? Her father or Frank? Heaven forbid. “Well, don’t you think that’s something you should remember? Some people actually work hard to get where they are. Others like to fuck to get a story. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a few things to do.”
I don’t even wait for a response. I turn on my heel and almost fall straight into Ryan and Frank. Amusement is on their faces so I can presume they’ve heard the confrontation between Felicity and me.
“Sweetheart, there you are.” Ryan grabs me and kisses the side of my face.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Just giving your friend something to talk about,” he says, and Frank shakes his head.
“Get off me, before I do something you won’t like.”
Ryan takes a small step back, that cocky grin evident and his eyes shining, but he really hasn’t given much distance between us and I’m sure Felicity will be watching our interaction in the hope of finding out what the hell is going on. I’m just hoping she doesn’t come up with the correct answer.
“Felicity, I think you should get back to the task you’re meant to be doing. Now!” Poor Frank. He’s got enough on his plate with Bethany, and now he has Felicity to deal with. I don’t turn to face her because I can’t be bothered. “And, Felicity, before you leave tonight, I want to see you in my office.”
“Why are you here?” I ask Ryan.
“Because Les told me your first article was written and I wanted to read it.”
“You haven’t shown him?” I ask Frank.
“No,” he replies. “And Ryan, please, no more antagonising my staff. Felicity is bad enough on a good day. She certainly doesn’t need any provoking.”
“Sorry.” Ryan’s cute apology sounds as though he’s just got into trouble at school.
“Has Ellie got time to grab a coffee?”
“Yes. Technically she’s not meant to be in the building. Although, if I can have her back in an hour, that would be good. We have somewhere we need to be.”
“Of course. I won’t keep her long. We’ll just go to the staff canteen.”
Ryan steps away but I wait. “Frank what’s wrong?” I ask quietly.
“Bethany is in hospital.”
“Ryan can wait and we can go now.”
“I have a meeting so I can’t, but I’ll be done in an hour.”
“Is she having the baby?”
“No. I’ll tell you more on the way.”
“Okay.” All I want to do is wrap my arms around Frank and tell him everything will be okay, but I’m conscience of where I am, and then there’s the small matter that no one in the office knows about the relationship we share. Actually, the only person who knows is Felicity’s father, and he assured me and Frank that, when I started as an office junior, I would have to work hard to start climbing the ladder.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Ryan is standing by the elevator when I approach. “We have a small staff area on this floor. Everyone is working so we’ll just go there,” I say, my thoughts on Bethany. I hope the baby is okay but given the fact that she’s been using, it’s highly likely that when it’s born he or she will be already addicted to whatever she’s been taking.
I lead the way and Ryan quickly falls into pace beside me, I can feel his eyes on me, watching, trying to suss out my mood, but he remains silent. The staff room is empty and I boil the kettle. I stand, resting my hands on the work surface with my back to him, giving myself a few moments to put my head together. He places his hand on my shoulder. I turn my head and I’m met with his concerned brown eyes. “I’ll make tea, or would you prefer coffee?”
“Tea.”
“Go and sit down.”
I don’t argue, I just leave him to it without telling him where anything is and sit down staring through the window. Maybe the baby isn’t okay. Or maybe Beth has just been taken into the hospital as a precaution.
Poor Frank and Grace. He’s going to need time off, and here I am heading to Monaco at the weekend. I should stay here and help with work, or even give them a break and help out with Bethany. After all, they’ve done so much for me.
“Here you go.”
“Thank you,” I say, taking a mug from Ryan’s hands. He sits down beside me and I don’t know what to say to him. “I bet you’re wondering about the article.”
“Yes, but my reason for coming here was that I was hoping to see you. To apologise.”
“You’ve already done that.”
“Yes, but I want you to know I mean it. I don’t give out apologies lightly. Actually, it’s pretty unheard of, if I’m honest.”
“Well, in that case, I really do accept your apology. But I was already forewarned that you tend to be focused and moody before a race.”
He shakes his head. “My mood had nothing to do with that.”
“What then?”
“It seems my cousin and my best friend have been talking about us.”
“Us? There’s nothing to talk about.”
“According to them there is, and… I think there might be.”
“Ryan…”
“Can I take you out?” he asks, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes.
Is this new territory for him? Does he not ask girls out? Of course he doesn’t. He’s used to women throwing themselves at him.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I say with a heavy heart.
“Why not?”
“Because I have to work with you.”
“We’ve already slept together.”
“Yes, and I don’t regret that. But going out on a date implies you want more,” I say breathlessly, looking into what I think is his honest expression.
“Yes, we have, and I’ve told you, I find you fascinating. I’ve never been on a date, but I’d like to with you. How about we go for dinner on Monday night?”
“In Monaco?”
“Yes. Hopefully we can get time on our own.”
I smile, but I’m nervous. “Okay. You have a date.”
“And I’ll try and be the perfect gentleman, but sweetheart, I can’t promise. But, I told Frank I wouldn’t keep you too long. I won’t pry, but I think you have somewhere you need to be.”
“I do, and I’ll tell you about it when I can.” Hopefully, when I tell him about Bethany, I’ll have some good news.
Good news would be that she’s prepared to try rehab one more time.
Chapter 16
“Frank, is the baby going to be okay?” I ask as we walk inside the hospital’s main entrance. We’ve spoken about Bethany on the journey here, but he’s not mentioned the baby and I’ve dreaded asking the question.
“Honestly, I don’t know. God forgive me for saying this, but I wish Bethany had stayed away. Because the damage this is doing to Grace, I’m not sure this is something even she’ll recover from.” The sadness in his eyes fills me with dread. I remember how Grace was when my mum died, but she had focus and purpose. She put Bethany and me first, even though we were unruly teenagers.
We kept her going then.
My mind has always wandered to what ifs. What would Bethany’s life be like had I not been thrust into her family? Does she resent me for being there? She must. Even my own mother resented me.
“Ellie, are you okay?”
“No,” I say stopping in the corridor. “If I wasn’t around, maybe Beth wouldn’t have turned out like this.”
His eyes widen and his stance changes. Frank steps toward me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Ellie, none of this is your fault. You’re not to blame for Bethany. This is her own doing. Please, you have to remember this.” I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. “Oh, Ellie.” Frank pulls me into a warm embrace. This man holding me is the closest to a father figure I’ve ever had, and as I sob in his arms, I can’t imagine not having him in my life.”
“You have to realise that Bethany and your mother both had issues.”
“I know,” I whisper against him. He steps back and wipes away my tears and smiles. There’s always been something comforting to me in the way he looks at me. Not just Frank, but Grace too. With them, I feel loved.
As we walk, my thoughts turn to the baby. I hope and pray that he or she gets to feel the love these two wonderful people have to give, because they have plenty to give. I’d love to see Bethany turn her life around, but I fear she’s already made her decision, and that weighs heavily on my mind.
I haven’t taken much notice of where we’re going, but Frank presses the intercom on a door to what looks like a secured specialist unit. I’m not sure why, but I thought maybe we’d be going into a maternity unit. We only have to wait a brief moment before we’re allowed to enter. Grace is pacing the floor as we round the corner. Hearing our footsteps, she stops, lifts her head, and my heart sinks seeing the tired woman before me melt into her husband’s arms, sobbing.
I stand back because I feel as though I’m intruding on such a private, tender moment as Frank comforts his wife. My eyes dart to the room at the side of me where a doctor and two nurses are tending to Bethany. She’s not crying or screaming, but she is fighting against them. It’s no wonder Grace is so distraught seeing her daughter like this. It’s not a pretty sight.
Watching Bethany is hard, but when she notices me, a slight smile plays on her lips and she stops struggling. One of the nurses glances my way and waves for me to go in. I take a deep breath, bracing myself.
“Hey, you,” I say, entering, trying to sound upbeat. “Still causing trouble, I see. Will you just let the doctor do his job? I’m sure if you do they'll all leave you alone.”
“Fine,” she says softly. The doctor acknowledges me and I take a seat beside the bed. He continues trying to put a line into her arm. At a guess, knowing Bethany, I’d say she’s already had one there and ripped it out. Silence fills the room and I keep my eyes on her until the doctor and nurses are finished and leave us alone. “What brings you here to see me?”
“Making sure you aren’t upsetting everyone.” Her eyes dart outside the room to where her parents stand arm in arm, watching through the window.
She sighs. “I’m trying not to, for their sake. How is Dad?”
“He’s worried about you and Grace, and of course, this baby.”
“The baby i
s doing okay. That’s why I’m here. I want this baby to be loved.”
“Beth, you are loved.”
“I know that, and it still surprises me that they love me after everything I’ve done to them.” She pauses, looking deep in thought. We both know the extent of what she’s done; stolen cash and jewellery from them in a bid to get her next fix, and still they would do anything for her because she’s their daughter and they love her. “Did you love her? Even after everything?”
“Yes. No. It’s hard to explain.” I wasn’t expecting that question.
“Look around, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’ve got time to listen.” She shrugs.
“I always felt as though I was an inconvenience to her, and I suppose I was. She was my mum, and yes, I loved her, but at the same time I hated her, if that makes any sense.”
She nods slowly, and her eyes soften. “I don’t want this baby to hate me.”
“Oh, Bethany.” I move from the seat and sit beside her on the bed, holding her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve been the best sister I could’ve ever hoped for. If I had to choose a sister, I would have chosen you, every damn time.” For someone who seems so calm and collected, I don’t like the words she’s using. It scares me. “I wish I was different.”
“I still love you all the same,” I say, because I do, regardless of what she’s done. I have good memories of the two of us together.
“I know you do, and even though you might not think it, I love you. Mum is going to need you after this baby is here.”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk like this.”
“Like what? I can’t stay here. I’ve tried so many times and failed. I don’t want to fail my family anymore and this baby deserves the best start in life.”
“This baby deserves a mother who will love him or her unconditionally.”
“I can’t even love myself. Promise me that no matter what you’ll always be there for all of them?”
Sadness fills my soul and tears roll down my cheeks. “I promise,” I say without hesitation, because it seems the only thing I can do to help.
Collision: A Driven World Novel (The Driven World) Page 11