“Good. I can cope with all this for the next few weeks knowing you’ll be there. The social workers, the interviews.”
“Social workers?”
“Well look at me. A pregnant junkie who is not fit to look after herself. The minute I had seen the doctor one was assigned to me.”
“I see.”
“No, I don’t think you do. I don’t understand all the legal talk and fancy words, but Mum and Dad they both need to assessed to see if they are fit to look after the baby once he or she is here.”
“Oh! Everything will work out, I believe it will.”
“I hope so, now, tell me something good.”
“I’m off to Monaco on Sunday,” I say as we change the subject.
Tension flows through her. I feel it in her hand when her grip tightens in mine. Is she in pain? “I presume you’ll be reporting on Ryan Jackson?” Her question is said through almost gritted teeth, and I’m hoping that, if she is in pain, it will pass soon.
“Yes. Felicity isn’t happy,” I add.
“No, I don’t suppose she is. You need to watch that one.”
“Who, Felicity? I already know that.”
“She’s a bitch. She’ll stab you in the back the first chance she gets and then take a step back and watch on as the vultures circle. Like I said, a bitch.”
“Now that we can agree on.”
Frank and Grace enter the room, and while talk between parents and daughter is strained, I can see Bethany is trying hard. I don’t ask what drugs they have given her, but she does seem in total control. Grace tells me that the baby is due in five weeks, and that Bethany will be staying in hospital until the birth. Everything depends on how Bethany is doing, but if she deteriorates then the doctors will induce labour or decide to do a c-section. No one wants to put the baby at any further risk than necessary, including Bethany.
What I don’t understand is how she can sit here so calm thinking about her baby, knowing that she doesn’t intend on being a part of his or her life. She’s aware of the hard battle the medical staff will have weaning her baby off drugs.
This just doesn’t make any sense to me.
Was this how my own mum felt for years? No. I don’t think she ever put me first. Regardless of what happens, I know Grace and Frank will take some sort of comfort knowing she tried to do right by her baby.
Frank leaves and I stay with Grace for some support. He has another meeting at the office and he wants to speak with Felicity. I don’t envy him. Bethany is right, she is a bitch.
For the rest of the afternoon, Bethany drifts in and out of sleep, and Grace looks so lost. For someone who always appears to be control, it’s hard seeing her so distraught. I wish I could do more to help.
My mood isn’t great when I get home, and it doesn’t come as a great surprise. There’s a note on the kitchen table in Dani’s handwriting.
Hey you, hope you are still on for Saturday night? Drop me a text. I won’t be home until Saturday afternoon.
Lots of noughts and crosses. D x
The smile comes easily to my face reading my crazy friends note, or rather her signature signing off. We used to play games of noughts and crosses at school whenever we had finished our work, and as we’ve gotten older, Dani likes to remind me of some of the good times of my childhood and education. I put the note back on the table and open the fridge. I’m not even sure why I’m looking inside it because I’m not even that hungry. I’ve no appetite and I don’t even want a glass of wine.
All I want is my bed, to lie, relax, and maybe read a book. That’s what I’ll do; lose myself in a fictional world of romance. Something that doesn’t remind me of the trying and very real day I’ve had.
Taking a bottle of water from the fridge, I switch off all the lights and go to the comfort of my bedroom.
Ryan Jackson, the man of the moment when it comes to F1 racing, wants to take me, little-ole-me, out on a date on Monday night. I’m not sure about this because it will change the dynamics between us. Who am I kidding? Sleeping with him has already changed that. Will I be able to separate my private life from my working one? Or will mixing the two set me on a collision course?
Chapter 17
“Can you bloody move? We should’ve left already.”
She’s excited to go out, but I’ve prolonged getting ready because I’d much rather spend a quiet night in before I leave the country tomorrow. But I’m almost ready as I put the final touch to my look before we leave, my lipstick on.
“There,” I say, spinning around to face Dani. “How do I look?”
“Wow!” I like her reaction, but it does make me feel nervous. I close my eyes for a moment, in an attempt to take a calming breath. She’s standing in front of me, mouth gaping and eyes sparkling. I’m not good at getting all dressed up, or accepting compliments. “You need to make more of an effort all the time. This look on you is fucking hot.”
“This.” I wave my hands around my body. “Look is okay for a night out with you, but I’d much prefer my hair tied back and wearing my jeans, a t-shirt, and…”
“And your good old gutties. I know that, but hell, if only Ryan could see you tonight.”
“Dani!”
“I know. I know, we’re not meant to be talking about him, but let’s be honest, he would be putty in your hands tonight. He’d be on his knees kissing your feet and then he’d slowly work his way up your legs…” Her words trail off into the distance but the desire is already coursing through my body and now I want to see him. I want to see what there could be between us. He’s mentioned us, but was it just in passing?
Could there be an us?
I hope so, because I’m not sure I would be happy settling for a no-strings sort of relationship, and from what I’ve read about him, he doesn’t do permanent relationships. I think he’s the type of man that gets bored with one person in his life.
“You want him, and badly.”
I look at her and don’t even try to deny it. She’s my best friend; she’d know if I was lying to her. He’s not been far from my thoughts and dreams these last few days, and I’m excited to see him tomorrow. “Let’s go. I thought you were in a rush to go out,” I say, avoiding eye contact with her.
With a smile, she picks up her bag, takes my hand, and pulls me through the house until the front door clicks behind us. There’s a taxi waiting outside. As we get in, my phone beeps in my bag. Excitement builds inside me when I see there’s a message from him.
Ryan: Is it tomorrow yet?
Me: It will be soon enough.
Ryan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Dani has dragged me out for a wild night on the town.
“Who the hell are you texting?” Dani grabs the phone from my hand after she tells the driver our destination. “Thought so.” I try to pull it back from her hands but it’s too late. I sigh and allow my body to sink into the seat as I hear the call connect.
“Ellie…” His husky voice echoes around me.
“This is Dani.” She sits forward, looking mighty pleased with herself.
“Hello. Is Ellie okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine. Now, can you please stop pestering her tonight? We’re going for a wild night out that doesn’t include single sexy men… hiccup.”
Oh Christ. She can’t be drunk already; we only had a few glasses of wine while we were getting dressed.
“So who thinks I’m sexy, you?” I smile, hearing his teasing tone, but then frown. I shiver. Is this how he behaves with all women? The thought upsets me.
“Get over yourself,” Dani says with confidence, but the look on her face tells me she’s feeling anything but confident. Which is so unlike her. She’s always confident, especially around men.
“Where are you two heading off to?”
“Why?”
“Because we’re out.”
I jump forward, shaking my head. No, she wouldn’t. Or would she? Dani pushes her hand in the air, keeping my phone out of my reach and holding me bac
k.
“I’m going to kill you,” I say.
“Please don’t kill your friend, Ellie, because if you do that, we won’t be able to have our date Monday night if you’re behind bars.”
He chuckles, a deep throaty sound and now, not only do I want to kill my best friend but I’d happily kill him too. I didn’t want Dani to know about Monday’s date because I wasn’t sure what to say to her.
“A date?” Dani’s voice rings loudly in the cab and, right now, I wish I was at home. “Well, Mr Jackson, I need to have a word with our mutual friend here, but we’ll be at Oasis in five minutes.”
“We’ll be there in three,” he says and then the call disconnects.
“What the hell, Dani? I could kill you.” I pull my phone free from her hand, sighing heavily. Yes, I want to see him, but I’m not sure about this. Fuck, I didn’t even want to come out tonight.
“Never mind. A date. When were you going to tell me?” She crosses her arms across her chest, and with the scowl on her face, she reminds me of an old school teacher.
“I wasn’t,” I state louder than I should have as the taxi driver shakes his head and looks in the rear-view mirror. “But seeing as it’s come up, he’s asked me out on a date.”
“Yes, I got that, but Monday you’ll be in Monaco.” She’s silent for a long drawn out minute before shrieking. “Oh, my, God he’s taking you out while you’re meant to be there working. I thought you didn’t mix business with pleasure.”
“What can I say? I’m making an exception to my own rule. I must be going insane.”
“No, not insane. I think you’re just learning that it’s okay to live a little on the wild side. I think I like this side of you.”
Nervously, I look at my dear friend. “I’m not sure I do.”
Dani shakes her head as I hear how deflated I sound. She grabs my shoulders as my head falls toward my chin. “Enough. You have worked too damn hard over the years. It’s about time you enjoyed yourself. Let your hair down and have plenty of fun.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. What happens if I end up wanting more than just some fun?”
“And what would be wrong with that?”
“Come on. Look at me and look at him.”
“I’m looking at you and I’ve seen him. You’d turn a straight woman gay, if that was your thing.” She’s laughing at me.
“Dani!”
“Come on. You are more than good enough for him. Ryan Jackson is one lucky man and I’ll be having words with him in a minute.”
I look out of the window and we’re just pulling up outside the nightclub, Oasis. I’m not prepared for this. My heart beats frantically in my chest as the taxi stops and I see him standing, waiting.
I shouldn’t feel like this every time I see him. Dani pays the driver and we thank him before leaving the taxi.
There’s a chorus of whistling.
“Hello, boys,” Dani says as we approach Ryan, Dylan, and another few of the crew members. Ryan doesn’t acknowledge her; his piercing brown eyes are already holding me hostage as I pat my hands down the front of my dress, smoothing out any creases from sitting down. “Looks like a certain someone approves of the hot you,” she says, softly nudging me with her elbow.
Ryan takes a step toward me, a desire-filled smile on his face. “Wow! And here I was looking forward to tomorrow. But seeing you now, I’m not even sure we should go inside. I want to be alone with you,” he whispers, kissing my neck.
“You and me alone tonight isn’t a good idea.” He takes my hand in his and walks toward the bouncers at the door. “Dani, this is Ryan and Dylan,” I say as a quick introduction. They say hi to each other and Dylan introduces her to the other guys, Liam and Connor. Liam runs his eyes over her body and smiles in approval. The bouncer nods at us and allows us inside, much to the disapproval of the revellers standing in line, waiting to get inside. They boo and shout.
We’re met inside by a member of staff who obviously knows Ryan as he greets him as though they are old friends.
Entering the club, the atmosphere is electric as I feel the beat of the music. Ryan holds my hand tighter as we’re escorted through the nightclub to a private area that’s sectioned off, away from the main seating area, but still close to the dancefloor. My smile is wide and very real when I see Claire and a couple of the girls she works with inside the VIP area. She jumps to her feet, rushing toward me and all but pushing Ryan out of her way. “Oh my fucking God. How? Why? He never told me you were coming out with us tonight.” Claire wraps her arms around me, kissing my cheek.
“This is as much of a surprise to me as it is you.”
“Well, this surprise I like. Now, are you going to introduce me to your friend?”
“Can I have my date back?” Ryan pulls me back into his arms. I raise my eyebrows, silently questioning him. “Well, you did accompany me inside so that makes you my date.”
I shake my head at him. “Claire, this is Dani.”
“Hi,” Dani says. She’s heard me talk about Claire and the work she does with the charity I’m certain they’ll get on.
“Right, what is everyone having to drink?” Dylan shouts, trying to be heard above the music as he wraps his arms around Claire’s waist and nuzzles into her neck. I wonder how long they’ve been together. They look like a perfect couple.
“Champagne,” Ryan calls out, and immediately a waitress appears, nods and disappears toward the bar. “You’re mine,” he hisses, pulling me down with him as he sits in the booth. “All mine.”
“We’ll see,” I say, softly looking into his eyes and seeing my desire reflecting back at me. “Why are you out tonight when you’re travelling tomorrow?”
“I could ask you the same question. But with us all being away for a week, Claire wanted a night out. Who was I to let her down? It’s bad enough I’m stealing her man for a week.”
“I had no idea they were a couple.”
“Neither did I until recently, although they’ve been seeing each other for more than four months. Enough about them. I’m looking forward to spending the next week with you.”
“You’ll be busy, and I will be kept occupied with writing,” I say, relishing in the heat that’s
spreading through my body as he strokes his fingers on my back.
“I hope you won’t be too busy. I have the need to spend time with you.”
The waitress appears with several bottles of champagne and glasses. Dani is now sitting opposite me with Claire, and the two of them are chatting away. Dylan is standing with Connor and Liam, who can’t seem to take his eyes from Dani. I don’t know much about Liam, but he does seem an okay kind of guy. I wonder if Dani has even noticed he’s showing an interest in her. Knowing her, she has, and she’ll string him along all night.
Champagne flows freely amongst our party, and everyone is really friendly, but I do have a few reservations. I will be spending a week with these guys and I’m not sure socialising with them is the professional thing to do.
After all, that was why Frank picked me for this assignment; my professionalism.
I’ve already failed at that. His words about me not falling into bed with Ryan, unlike Felicity would have, are already haunting me.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asks.
“Of course. I’m just conscious that I don’t want to fly with a hangover tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there to take care of you,” he whispers against the bare skin of my neck, sending goose bumps all over my skin. “Or I can just take you home now, then you don’t have to worry about a drunken hangover because you’ll be so consumed in me.”
I take a long gulp of the champagne. “You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Not at all. I don’t think I’ll ever take you for granted. But I do know I could keep you busy all night long, or I’ll happily hand my body over to you to control. I think we both win either way.”
He’s right, of course. I’d happily lose myself to him, but I don’t wa
nt everyone thinking I’m an easy lay because that’s not me.
With a smile and a kiss to my cheek, Ryan leaves the booth, and I watch on as he stands with Dylan and the others, while chat amongst the girls is light and alcohol flows freely. The other girls are really easy to talk to and I think Dani is enjoying herself too.
“Girls, I’m itching to dance!” Dani calls out as one song changes to another.
Claire jumps to her feet. “What are we waiting for then?”
“Probably this one to get drunk.” Dani laughs, tugging me to my feet.
“Nonsense, I’ll happily dance,” I say without hesitation, taking not only myself by surprise, but from the smile on Dani’s face, her too. It must be the alcohol. There’s no way I’d willingly get up to dance unless I was drunk.
“Yay.” Claire takes my other hand and the three of us make our way through the crowds to the dancefloor.
We dance and we laugh. More importantly, I’m enjoying myself. Something I don’t do very often. Occasionally, my eyes drift to the VIP area. Ryan is leaning on the glass partition with a glass in his hand, Dylan talking to him, but his eyes are watching me.
“Looks like my dear cousin is somewhat consumed by you,” Claire states, grabbing my attention.
“I don’t think it’s just his attention she has grabbed tonight,” says Dani, throwing her arms in the air and spinning around.
I don’t even look around because I only have eyes for one man, and he seems to be thinking about me. Or is he just playing a game with me?
I hope not, but I shouldn’t allow myself to get too attached to him.
We stay on the dancefloor for five songs before we all agree that dancing is thirsty work and go back and join the others for a drink. When we get back to the table, it’s as though someone has read our minds because there are bottles of cold water sitting there along with more bottles of champagne.
“You looked incredibly sexy out there.” I smile as Ryan slides into the booth, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “And I wasn’t the only man in this club that thought that.”
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