Keeping Kennedy: A Chaos MC Novel (MC Chaos Book 4)

by Cameron Hart

  “Uh huh… Aaaannnnnd?”

  I roll my eyes, but grin at her. She’s really quite perceptive when she wants to be.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never had a relationship before… and I don’t really know where Slash and I stand.”

  “Um, well, he’s pretty smitten with you, so I don’t think you have to worry on that front.”

  “Slash? Smitten?” I laugh. “I have a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate that description of himself.”

  Mia shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know about that. When it comes to you he’s all mushy and sweet. It’s weird. But good. He deserves to be happy. You both do,” she smiles.

  “Well… thanks. But there’s still the logistics to work out. Plus, what if I overstay my welcome? We just haven’t talked about any of it yet. We’ve been in a little bubble ever since all of the shit went down at the clubhouse, but now it feels like time is running out.”

  Mia opens her mouth to say something, but I have a sudden wave of nausea. Dashing to the bathroom, I make it just in time to dry heave into the toilet.

  Weird. That’s the second time it’s happened this week. Am I really that nervous about talking to Slash? We love each other, we say it all the time. So it’s not like he’s just going to dump me if I decide to go back to San Francisco.

  Woah, hold up. If? Since when did staying here permanently become an option? I mean, I could put in for a transfer. Sausalito isn’t quite as glamourous as San Francisco, but these people need protection too, which is the whole reason I become a cop in the first place. Plus, the biggest case we’ve seen in a while happened right here, so it’s not like it’s all boring.

  Those thoughts fly out the window when I start dry heaving again. Oh, wait, no, I’m throwing up now. Fuck. I don’t want to spend what could potentially be my last few days here with a stomach bug.

  Oof. Even thinking about only having a few more days with Slash has my eyes filling up with tears.

  “You ok in there?” Mia asks.

  “Yeah, give me a sec.”

  I rinse off my face and brush my teeth. Huh. I don’t look sick, and I do feel better. Maybe it really is just nerves.

  “Can I get you something? Water? Tea? Crackers?”

  “No, no, I’m ok. That’s the second time I’ve felt sick this week, but then I feel fine after. No fever or anything.”

  Mia stares at me. For way too long.

  “Uh, hello? You ok?” I ask her.

  She bites her lip and looks me up and down.

  I raise my eyebrow in question. Finally, she takes a deep breath.

  “Kennedy, do you think you could be pregnant?”

  “What? No, definitely not. I’m on birth control.”

  Mia nods slowly, like she doesn’t quite believe me.

  “I mean, I had my period…”

  Oh shit.

  Mia must see all of the color drain from my face. I’m late. Like… three weeks late.

  “Hey, we don’t know anything yet, ok? I can run to the store, get a test. Then we’ll figure it out from there.”

  I can’t really process what she said. Something about the store. A test. Yes, yes, a test. I need that.

  “Yeah,” I nod, still stuck in my head.

  What if I am pregnant? We’ve never talked about kids, I mean, why would we? This whole thing is so new. I guess part of me thought I’d have kids eventually, but my career always came first. What if Slash is mad? What if he doesn’t want kids? Am I strong enough to be a single parent? What if…

  “Kennedy,” Mia says softly, putting her hand on my shoulder. “Take a pregnancy test first, spiral second, and regroup third, ok? No matter what, we’re here for you.”

  “Are you?”

  “Am I what?”

  “Here for me? What if Slash doesn’t want anything to do with me? I won’t be around anymore, I’ll go back to San Francisco and I’ll be all alone again—”

  Mia cuts me off with a hug, her little baby bump just starting to show. For some reason that makes me cry.

  “Of course we’re here for you. If Slash is a dumbass and steps out on you, we’ll kick his ass. Don’t underestimate a pissed of pregnant lady. Plus, Liv took out a drug dealer, so you know she can pack a punch. And Beth and Claire escaped a fucking cult, so they obvs know how to fight. We’ll have your back always.”

  This makes me cry even harder. I’ve been completely accepted by these people, I’m a part of their family, and if Slash breaks up with me, I’ll be completely destroyed. How did all of this happen?

  “Buuuuuut, I think you need to have more faith in Slash. He’s a good man, he really is. And anyway, like I said. All this worrying is pointless when we don’t even know for sure, ok?”

  I nod and pull away from her embrace, wiping my tears away.

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

  ✽✽✽

  An hour later, I’m staring at four blue plus signs. Yeah, after the first one I made Mia go back and buy me three more. Just in case.

  I don’t even know what to think. I’m so fucking scared of what this could mean for my future. Don’t get me wrong, I will love my kid no matter what. I’ll always put them first. My career seems insignificant in comparison to taking care of a little life.

  But I don’t want to do it alone. Could Slash and I make this work? Could we actually have a family? I’m not sure what would be worse – if he left me or if he stayed because he felt trapped. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.

  “It’s gonna be ok, hun,” Mia says gently, sitting down next to me where I’ve collapsed against the wall outside the bathroom.

  “I know. I know,” I tell her, although I don’t know at all.

  “This is something to be happy about, even if the circumstances are not the best. You created a life! That’s pretty incredible if you think about it. Plus, our kids will be close in age, and Beth and Dom’s little baby too. I’m sure they will be the best of friends, you know?”

  I want to be excited, I do. But I can’t ignore the feeling of dread sitting heavy in my stomach. I look over at Mia. She’s beaming at me, this little ray of sunshine. I want my kid to have friends, to have the family I never had. I want every good thing for him or her. But I know if Slash doesn’t want me anymore, I won’t stick around. How could I? Being close to him but not actually being with him would be too painful.

  “Okay,” Mia claps, getting my attention. “This calls for ice cream. And maybe… Grey’s Anatomy?”

  This pulls a laugh out of me. “You’re not going to get me hooked on your medical drama!”

  “There she is,” Mia grins. “Just so you know, I’m not giving up hope. McDreamy will get to you one of these days,” she sighs.

  She gives my shoulders a little squeeze and then stands.

  “Cheer up, buttercup. No use worrying till the guys get back tomorrow. Then you’ll talk to Slash, and we’ll make a plan. I’m here for you. We all are.”

  Yeah, don’t worry. Easier said than done.

  Chapter 16

  Slash

  The last few weeks with Kennedy have been incredible. She’s everything I never knew I wanted. At first glance she seems all repressed and stuck up, but I know just how to get her all riled up. I know how to make her lose control. And god, how I love making her lose control.

  Kennedy can be serious with me one minute, and then make me laugh the next. She also makes me all soft and warm, which is ridiculous. But I don’t hate it. In fact, I like being that way with her. She deserves someone who will cherish her always, and I’m damn lucky to be the one to do that.

  We haven’t talked about what the future holds, and to be honest, I’m kind of nervous for when that conversation happens. I’ve been waiting for her to bring it up, since she’d be the one leaving. I can’t ask her to give up her job in San Francisco to move to this little California town. But can I really see myself moving up to the city with her? Sure, it’s really not that far away, about a forty-five-minute ride on a good day, but it would compl
icate things with the club.

  Who the hell am I kidding? If she asked me to move in with her, I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat. Nothing else matters. Everything came into sharp focus for me when I held her limp body in my arms after the bomb went off. Fuck if I know how one person became the center of my whole universe in just a few short weeks, but it’s true. I’m pretty sure I’d do anything for that woman.

  “Ready to be home?” Dom asks.

  “Fuck yeah,” I answer. We’ve been out on an assignment these last few days, but we’re on our way back home now. We just stopped to fuel up in a little town about two hours away.

  Dom chuckles. “Are things good with you and Kennedy?”

  “Hell yeah they are.”

  “Are you gonna lock it down?”

  “What, you mean like marriage?”

  He shrugs. “It’s something to think about.”

  I nod. I guess it is. I never saw myself getting married, but if Kennedy wants a ring and a fancy dress, I’ll give it to her. She’s already mine forever, so why not sign a piece of paper? I don’t really care about all the formalities and fancy shit, but I’ll put on a tux and eat some cake if Kennedy sees that as more official.

  Shit, I’m so far gone for her.

  Dom seems to read my mind and agree.

  “Women make you do fucking crazy things, huh? I never thought I’d propose, or be a dad, but here I am, engaged and starting a family,” he chuckles. Dom has a shit eating grin on his face, and he’s not even trying to hide it.

  Family, huh? That should scare the shit out of me. I don’t know the first thing about being a good role model, let alone being a dad. But I want Kennedy to have a family more than anything in the world. I know she has me, and she’s been getting close with the other old ladies in the club, but I could see her being a great mom. I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that, but for the first time in my life, I’m seriously considering it.

  Shit, I hardly recognize myself anymore, but I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.

  “Time to get a move-on, boys,” River yells. “Let’s haul ass and get back home.”

  I grin, knowing he’s missing Stace as much as I’m missing Kennedy. Three days is far too long to be away from her, which just solidifies my decision to follow her anywhere she goes. I couldn’t do the long-distance thing. I like holding Kennedy in my arms while she sleeps and waking up to her cute little grumpy face in the morning too much.

  Fuck, I can’t wait to see her.

  ✽✽✽

  Several hours later, I burst through my front door and find Kennedy standing over the sink in the kitchen. I practically run over to her and pull her in my arms, crashing my lips over hers and taking what I need from her. God, just the taste of her lips is enough to make my cock stand at attention. I have exactly one thing on my agenda for the rest of the evening: fucking as many orgasms out of my woman as possible.

  All too soon, Kennedy is pulling away from me. She looks up at me with glossy eyes rimmed in red and a tentative smile. I notice her little red nose and blotchy cheeks. Has she been crying?

  “What’s wrong, baby girl? What happened? Who made you cry? Your boss? One of the girls? Who do I need to talk to?” My mind swirls with the possibilities. Maybe she decided to move back to San Francisco without me. Yeah, no way in hell will I let that happen.

  “No, no, nothing like that,” she sniffs.

  I pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head, breathing in her rose and honey scented shampoo. Who knew that would become one of my favorite smells?

  “Talk to me, sweetheart. What happened?”

  I tilt her head up and kiss her again, more gently this time. I pretty much fucked her with my tongue when I walked in the door, but I realize now that’s not what she needs.

  “Come on, let’s go talk on the couch,” she says, taking my hand and leading me towards the living room.

  Fuck. This sounds a lot like she’s about to break up with me. Too bad. Not gonna happen.

  She sits down on the couch and faces me. Her hands are fidgeting in her lap and she won’t look at me.

  “Talk to me, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking about. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

  Finally, Kennedy looks up at me, tears streaming down her beautiful face. I reach out and wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

  “No more crying, please. You’re killing me here, sweetheart. “

  “I’m not crying,” she sniffles.

  “Of course not. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I try to smile at her, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. I’m too worried to give her a real smile. I take her hand in mine and trace my thumb over her knuckles.

  She takes a deep breath and blows it out.

  “I’m pregnant,” she whispers.

  What? I can’t possibly have heard her right. I’m probably just filling in the blanks, considering the conversation I had earlier with Dom.

  “You’re…”

  “Pregnant,” she says again, a little louder this time. “I’m on the pill, but I know that’s not guaranteed. I just… I didn’t plan for this, I didn’t mean to trap you or whatever. And you’re not obligated to do anything. I don’t want anything from you. I can do this on my own.”

  Now that pisses me off. Does she really think I’m the kind of guy that would leave her? Or is she trying to use this as a reason to leave me?

  “You don’t want anything from me?” I grit out. “You think you’re doing this on your own?” I know my tone is angry, but I can’t seem to help it. As soon as I see her face fall and shoulders slump, I feel like an asshole.

  “I… I just… I…” she chokes out a sob and I pull her into my arms.

  Wait. Holy shit. She’s pregnant.

  “I love you so much,” I say while stroking her back. “We’re having a kid,” I whisper in awe.

  I pull back and tilt her head up.

  “You thought I’d be mad? You thought I’d leave you?”

  Fresh tears pour down her cheeks and it fucking guts me. “I’m sorry. This is all so overwhelming. We never talked about it. About any of it. I don’t even know if you want me to stay here when my leave is up, so I didn’t know how you’d react to something as permanent as a kid. I—”

  I cut her off with a kiss. I can’t hear any more of her doubts, each one pains me. At first, Kennedy doesn’t kiss me back, which hurts like hell. But then, tentatively, her lips move against mine. I seek entrance into her heavenly mouth, and she lets me in. I cradle her head in my hands and break the kiss, resting my forehead on hers.

  “I want this, Kennedy. I want you. I’m keeping you, sweetheart. Forever and always. I don’t care where you go, I’ll be with you. You can’t get rid of me now.”

  “Really?”

  “Fuck yeah. You and me, baby. And our kid. We’re having a fucking kid!” I say with more excitement this time. It’s finally sinking in.

  I kiss her again briefly, then trail my lips down her jaw, her neck her collarbone. I gently push her back so she’s laying down on the couch and continue my trail of kisses down between her perfect little tits. I can’t wait to see them swell up. Fuck, now that I’m thinking about it, I can’t wait to see her pregnant.

  My lips trail down her ribcage and then I lift up her shirt and kiss her belly. Resting my forehead there, it finally clicks into place. This is everything. We’re starting a family together. She’s fucking mine, all mine, and now she’s tied to me in every way. Well, almost every way. I’ll go out and get a ring tomorrow.

  I didn’t even notice I started crying. Her hands are in my hair, her fingers massaging my scalp.

  “You’re growing my baby in there,” I whisper against the soft skin of her belly before kissing it again.

  “Yeah,” she giggles.

  I look up, hoping to see that sparkle in her eyes again. I hate that I ever made her think I would ditch her, for any reason, let alone something as life-changing as this. To my delight, she�
�s smiling down at me, a real, genuine smile that warms me up.

  “That’s so fucking sexy,” I growl. And it is. Jesus, I want nothing more than to be inside of her right this fucking second.

  “It is?”

  Instead of answering her, I hook my thumbs into the waistband of her yoga pants and panties, peeling both of them down her legs to reveal her perfect, pink little pussy. Without any warning, I dive into her sweet perfection, licking up her slit and circling her clit.

  Kennedy cries out in surprise at the unexpected invasion, but soon I taste her arousal. I suck and lick and nip at her folds, her thighs, her hard little clit. She’s soaking me, my face sloppy with her juices. I fucking love it. Her pussy pulses around my tongue as I spear it deep inside her entrance, lapping up her release.

  “Again,” I growl into her tight, hot cunt.

  Kennedy moans as her hips buck, grinding herself against my mouth. I grab her hips and pull her even closer, till I’m suffocating inside her sweet heat. I lick her clit again and again, until my tongue is numb. She sucks in a huge breath and then cries out her climax. I crawl up her body and kiss her, hard and deep. She takes everything I give her, moaning at her taste in my mouth.

  Not wasting any more time, I rip her flimsy t-shirt down the middle, loving the fact that she’s not wearing a bra. Kennedy giggles at first, but then moans as I suck one tit into my mouth. She bows her back off of the couch, thrusting her chest further into me. I kiss and lick my way to her other breast and give it the same attention.

  I leave her briefly, only to unbuckle my belt and pull off my jeans and underwear. I grab one of her ankles and place it over the back of the couch while the other one rests on my shoulder, spreading her wide open for me. Looking down at this stunning woman, chest heaving, pussy dripping, eyes fogged over with lust, I can’t help but groan. She’s everything.

  “So fucking beautiful. God, you’re perfect, Kennedy.”

  I line myself up and enter her tight little channel in one long thrust. I growl, just feeling her silky heat against my aching cock. Kennedy throws her head back and claws at the couch cushions. She gushes for me, making it easy to slide in and out of her. I pick up my pace, needing her to cum again, needing to show her how much I love her, how I’m never leaving her.