Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

  I opened them and jogged down the hall, taking a left at the end. The first floor rooms spread out in either direction. Mine was at an end corner. I got to my door and went to unlock it when I noticed that it was already partially open. I heard someone talking inside, a girl’s voice, and then I heard Serena.

  I pushed the door further open and stepped in, biting my bottom lip and checking out what was going on. There was an older man and a woman, a girl with whitish grey hair, and Serena, our thirty-something glorified babysitter.

  “Hi,” I said, brushing some of my hair behind my ear. “Um, I just need to get to my bed and I’ll be out of your way.”

  “Oh, stay a second. You should meet your new roommate,” Serena said.

  “Oh, sure.” It was awkward.

  They all shifted to let me by and I walked to my bed. Setting my school bag down, I grabbed my soccer bag for a trade. On the way out I stopped before the door and faced them. Everyone focused on me and I felt my right eye start to twitch.

  The girl was pretty, shorter than me. I tried not to stare at her face for too long so it wouldn’t be weird.

  “This is Laura and her parents Mr. and Mrs. Collins,” Serena said.

  She turned to Laura and her parents.

  “This is Charlotte Greenwood but we call her Charli.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I said.

  I shook their hands, starting with Mr. Collins and ending with Laura. It was an odd feeling. I tried to keep my handshake firm but not like a death grip. I always like to present myself well and make a good first impression. Handshakes and eye contact are all a part of that.

  “I wish I could stay longer but I’ve got soccer practice in ten minutes. I just stopped to get my stuff but I’m sure we’ll have time to get to know each other some later.”

  "Uh, right," Laura nodded mysteriously. When she pushed her white hair back behind her ear and looked down at the floor, I couldn't tell why. Nerves, embarrassment, and your run of the mill apathy were all options. "Nice meeting you," she added, belatedly, as if it just occurred to her, late, to speak. Her gaze flitted up to mine and for a moment she smiled and stared. It was an honest smile. I couldn't tell if her lips were really always that perfect and pink but her eyes sparkled in a way that could only be genuine.

  When her gaze dropped, I put my hair up in a ponytail, using the hair tie around my wrist.

  “See you later,” I said.

  I gave a wave and left the room, not stopping to wonder about how awkward the whole exchange was. Serena was even a little weird. She was usually so cool. Maybe she was trying to impress them or something. I didn’t care. I just wanted to get to practice on time so we didn’t end up running double drills again. I did not want the anger of twenty-two teammates directed at me.

  I ran across campus toward the fields. Even though I’d have a good reason to be late. Coach Hill wouldn’t give a crap. She’d torture us with endless drills no matter the excuse. She took some kind of pleasure in it. Maybe she just liked to push us. We were good, not the best, but a good team that always finished with far more wins than losses.

  I was counting on a scholarship to pay for college. That meant I had to work twice as hard. My parents could afford a good college but I wanted to do it myself. My mom was that kind of person. You had to work for things to appreciate them. Life wasn’t easy and so my parents tried to make sure I knew what it was to take responsibility for myself. I didn’t mind. I liked working hard. In soccer, in school, in everything that I did. It felt real and if I kept moving I’d get somewhere.

  When I got to the locker room I threw my bag on one of the benches that were lined up in front of the lockers and changed into a t-shirt and shorts and then fished my cleats out of my locker and put them on. Everyone else was already out on the field so I slammed my locker shut. My shoelace stuck on the corner of the metal door, almost making me fall flat on my face when I tried to walk off.

  “Shit,” I cursed.

  I recovered and ran down the row of lockers, through the bathroom, and out onto the back of the soccer field. This was the biggest sport at our school. The other kind of football reigned in other schools but here we had no boys and no reason to worship their sport of choice. Our softball team was good too but the soccer and lacrosse teams were our most cheered. That was part of why I begged to come here.

  Tall and perfect, Abby was warming up and stretching beside the bench when I ran up. The two of us were like twins, same brown wavy hair, same height, same disposition.

  “Thank hell, I thought you were gonna be late again. Lindsey would have killed you,” Abby said.

  I rolled my eyes and started to stretch out.

  “She just wants a reason to give me a hard time,” I replied.

  “Uh huh, and you give her plenty back,” Abby teased.

  “Shut it. You get more crap from her than I do.”

  “Yeah, but she’s flirting with me when she does it so that’s different,” Abby smirked.

  “Gross, she’s actually kind of mean to you sometimes,” I said.

  “Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to hate,” Abby warned.

  “I like being alone,” I insisted.

  “No one likes being alone. You’re just afraid to let anybody get close enough to you to change your sad, single life.” Abby reached over and gave me a light punch on the arm. “At least Lindsey is the hottest girl at Hanover, even if she can be a bitch sometimes.”

  “Still not an excuse to be mean to your girlfriend and also, that’s so not it. Being single is perfectly valid. I have enough going on with school and I’m focused on getting into USC.”

  “You’re gonna get in. You said the visit went well and the coach loved you. Plus, that’s a whole year away. We’re not even seniors,” she reasoned. “They probably sent you an invite to their summer camp but it’s lost in that pile of mail your parents never open.”

  “They would have told me if it came. My mom knows how much it means to me.”

  “Let’s go!” Coach Hill yelled from the middle of the field. “Start with the T-cone drill!”

  We ran over and joined Lindsey at the back of the line. For the next few hours we would be doing nothing but running. I liked getting lost in the feeling of physical exertion. It was another way I found peace. Books, beaches, and soccer drills were my happy places.

  Chapter 4

  So this is Hanover, I thought.

  So much for dispelling all the town rumors and cliches.

  “They're all going to be selfish and rich,” Vic had said. “I bet your roommate studies like an alien and plays some stupid sport like Lacrosse.”

  I laughed at that, at the time.

  Hanover was known in town for having aggressive seeming packs of young women.

  I couldn't say that was much different than Green Valley High where I'd been doomed to spend my time before. But the gender thing really altered most of the town’s perception. It was easier to vilify and think less of just girls.

  “You'll have a new lease,” my mom said. “Anything you want to do.”

  Put aside the part where I wasn't trained for anything. Didn't know how to do anything. What good is a new lease if you're still going to look like a kindergartener to everyone you come in contact with?

  They didn't get it.

  "You're gonna love it here Laura. It really is the perfect learning environment."

  What does that even mean?

  Hanover is one step up from a prison.

  I didn't even want to think about how hard it would be to sneak out from here. I'd been lying to myself, telling myself it wouldn't be that much of a change.

  We'd eaten in town. The kiss of death. A goodbye dinner.

  "Your brother's sorry he couldn't come."

  Lies.

  "I doubt I'd come either," I said, forking a bit of salad into my mouth.

  "He had work, honey," my mom said.

  "He's a free man," I said, picking my iced tea up and st
aring at her.

  They didn't ask me if I wanted to come here. It wasn't a choice.

  “Your mother and I are very proud of you.”

  “For what,” I asked.

  “This is a big step,” Dad said. "It's our fault in the first place. Too busy to concern ourselves with finding a good school. We know better now."

  “Why's that,” I asked, bothered. There was never much useful talk with my parents. They were the kind of people who made up their mind before they opened their mouths.

  “Roger,” they lied.

  “Honey. Your brother could have really benefited from an environment like this.”

  “I'm not like him,” I said.

  Roger was the glory boy. He did sports. Knew everyone. Joined clubs.

  But that was all before.

  And we were nothing alike.

  “Oh, of course you are,” my mother said lovingly. She and my father still looked at each other like they were in love and they'd only just met.

  I watched, uncomfortably. At the very least, I'd have some distance from this.

  Chapter 5

  When I got done with practice I was in need of a shower. I didn’t like the ones in the locker room but I stayed and took my shower there anyway. I didn’t want to go back to my room yet. I wasn’t ready to have that awkwardness return. I was so tired that I’d probably just fall asleep as soon as I finished the little homework I had. I didn’t have my study space to myself anymore.

  I’d have to try and find somewhere else to go. The library was pretty well traveled so maybe up in the research lab with all the microfiche and huge volumes of local history written by old ladies with too much time and too many genealogy charts.

  I put my school uniform back on once I was dried off and ready. I waited on Lindsey and Abby to get done before I left. They’d be mad if I didn’t say goodbye. They’d been fighting during practice, which was annoying. So much stress over nothing and that’s why I never wanted to live with someone I was dating before we’d been going out for at least a few years.

  They were always bickering like this. It was just part of their relationship but most of the fights were about silly, simple things. Rarely, did I ever hear them get heated over anything big. Mostly, towels left on the floor and food missing from the mini fridge in their room.

  I sat on the bench in front of my locker and swung my legs back and forth, hearing them talking as they left the shower. Being best friends with a couple sometimes put me in a weird position but I always refused to get in the middle. They were pretty good about not doing that. Abby especially tried to keep me from having to give input.

  “Charli, you haven’t told us about your new roommate,” Lindsey said.

  They opened their lockers and started to change back into their uniforms. Lindsey was shorter than me and, Abby was right, she was abnormally pretty, the kind of pretty that gets smart people to somehow excuse a shit attitude: blonde, grey eyes, the kind of hotass model you’d expect from an all girls private school. Lindsey and I almost never agreed.

  “There’s not much to tell. I met her before practice and her parents were there with Serena.”

  “Is she hot?” Lindsey asked. “Cause if she’s hot, that could be a problem.”

  “Checking her out wasn’t exactly the first thing on my mind,” I informed.

  “You’re such a weirdo,” Abby said.

  “I am not. It’s a valid question. I’d notice,” Lindsey shrugged.

  “You’d notice too much,” Abby accused. It was cute, Abby was almost always checking Lindsey out, staring too long, biting her lip and looking a bit frustrated. Watching the two of them almost always made me smirk.

  “You can’t not notice when someone is attractive,” Lindsey insisted, shrugging.

  “You guys, seriously? This is so not the point,” I said.

  “Sorry,” Abby apologized.

  She shot Lindsey a look and went back to tying her shoes.

  “Can we just go back? I’m tired and I still have two chapters to read after dinner.”

  “Yeah, sorry. Let’s go,” Lindsey said.

  She grabbed her backpack and put it on her shoulders and I stood up and did the same. We walked out of the locker room and past some of the other girls that had taken their time.

  The sun was setting when we made it outside. It was beautiful, walking toward the horizon and seeing the purples and pinks stretching across the sky. I wished I could fly up and touch them. All of those fluffy, colorful clouds to wrap up in. It would be heaven.

  “Did she seem nice?” Abby asked, breaking my train of thought.

  I looked down at the ground and kept walking. The green was so different from the sky. Lacking in light and cold.

  “It was just awkward,” I explained. “I had to leave so I didn’t get any real impression. I’ll have to update you tomorrow.” The third wheel feeling really wasn’t my favorite. Sometimes I missed my old friends, the ones who all flirted the same and didn’t have sex.

  “Bring her to dinner,” Lindsey suggested. “We can meet her then and assess the situation.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “She’s probably got other plans. Her parents were here.”

  Bottom line was I didn’t want to go back to my room before dinner. Eating in peace sounded like a much better idea. I won, in the end. We went straight to the dining hall to eat. The dinner for tonight was meatloaf and it looked horrible. So, I chose one of the little pizzas they had as an alternative.

  Some of our teammates were already there and we went to sit with them. It was rowdy and not at all what I was looking for at the time. It was fun, usually, but I was in one of my moods. I just needed quiet and rest.

  “What’s wrong? You’re so down,” Anna said.

  I looked up and across the table. Anna was the goalkeeper. The self-assigned mom to everyone on the team. She was super sweet and a great keeper. I felt bad that she’d noticed. I hated worrying people.

  “I’m fine, just in a quiet mood, you know.”

  “Uh, no. She’s being broody over her new roommate,” Lindsey supplied.

  “I am not,” I shot back, annoyed.

  “Riiiight,” Lindsey said, laughing.

  “Fine,” I whined. “I just enjoyed having my own space and now it’s gone.”

  “You never know,” Anna said. “She could become your best friend.”

  “Never,” Abby piped up. “That job is already filled.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m just saying she could be really nice and you could get along really well,” Anna replied.

  “Yeah, I guess. I’ll just have to wait and see,” I said.

  I ate the rest of my pizza and tried to tune into the conversation about when the season would start. We had a month till the first game but we even practiced in the off season. That’s how crazy serious we were.

  I zoned out while everyone finished their food and it wasn’t until Abby tapped me on the shoulder that I realized everyone was done and we were leaving for the night.

  “Oops,” I said, smiling.

  Getting in my own head was a regular thing for me. Abby had known me the longest of anyone here. We’d been friends since the first day of freshman year when we got stuck in an awful Geometry class together. Our teacher made no sense and if we hadn’t banded together and studied outside of class, I think we both would have failed.

  That bonded us and when Lindsey came along she just fit as a third. It wasn’t until last year that she and Abby started to date. I was happy for them. I loved them both so much. We were a little team. They made me feel included when we hung out. We weren't doing that as much these days though.

  We parted outside of the dining hall. They went back in the direction of the Honors Hall and I went off to my dorm, having no idea what to expect. I walked quickly, mindful of the time I had to get the reading done and get to sleep. I really wanted to skip the homework but I’d feel too guilty.

  The dorm was pretty quiet when I got
back. Everyone was in their rooms so I didn’t see anyone until I got to my room and opened the door. Laura was there, alone, and getting settled. I cleared my throat and went to my side of the room, putting my bag down on my desk chair, and sitting down on my bed.

  “Hey,” I said, giving her a small smile.

  "Hey," she smiled too. She was fixing her bed, putting a soft blanket on top of it.

  “Sorry about earlier. If we’re late to practice we have to run extra drills,” I explained.

  The decor that she’d put up so far was cute and I admired it as I sat on my bed and pulled out the book for my lit class. My hair was still a little wet from the shower so I let it hang loose. I reached for my glasses and put them on. I only wore them to read. My eyesight was okay otherwise.

  When I spoke about practice she laughed to herself and smiled more. "It's totally okay," she said, crawling up on her mattress to tuck the edge of her blanket in. "I feel like a dick," she confessed.

  "Why?" I asked, settling against my headboard.

  "Will you tell me the truth?" Laura asked. She had a mischievous smile like you couldn't tell if she wanted to hug you or hang you and I liked that.

  "Always," I replied.

  Lying wasn't something I did often and I was terrible at it anyway. Even people I didn’t know could tell I wasn’t telling the truth.

  "Did someone have to leave so I could room here?" She let her legs hang over the bed as she placed her toes back onto the floor and faced me.

  "No, I didn't have a roommate. I haven't had one since I moved in.”

  Weird that she made a point to ask.

  "They would have put you in an open spot, not moved anyone," I said.

  "Okay wow. Even worse for you then. Sorry," she sighed, truly apologetic. Her phone was on the side table and she reached over and grabbed it. "I know I'd rather be alone too," she confessed. "Just ‘cause it stresses me out. To be around people." It was hard to notice how pretty she was. At first I made sure not to stare but now she seemed comfortable.