Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

  “Great!” I looked around and spotted Serena chatting with some of the teachers and the headmistress. “Let’s go cruise by that table so Serena can see us here before we go back.”

  "Eh, I'm sure it's fine," Laura said. "It's more suspicious if I draw attention to myself, don't you think? We can eat here if you want," she shrugged.

  “Na, I really don’t want to be here. Let’s go back to the room,” I said.

  "Kay," Laura said, ready.

  We walked back and didn't come across anyone that we had to greet or talk to, which was a blessing. I didn't feel up to people and our food would get cold if we stopped.

  Even inside the dorm it was pretty quiet. They were all probably preparing for classes tomorrow. You couldn't get away with slacking at Hanover if you wanted to stay in school.

  Once we were back in our room I felt better and cozy even. I got on the bed and turned on the TV.

  "Here, put something on and I'll get napkins," I said.

  I handed her the remote and went to get the box of napkins I kept by my desk.

  Laura took the remote and started to search for something. We'd left off on a random episode of Love Island so she clicked play and brought it back up.

  I handed her some of the napkins and crawled back up in the bed. Before I started eating I glanced up at her.

  The beds together were big enough for both of us to sit and eat on but she was close. I could see how much happier she was now that she'd seen Vic.

  "What did you guys do?" I asked.

  "Uh," Laura thought. "Not much. Just um, hung out. Got some food together. Tried to talk," Laura laughed. "Which was kinda hard but…" Laura shrugged.

  "Talking about real things is usually hard. I'm glad you had fun though. I can tell you're lighter," I said.

  "Yeah," she smiled and looked over at me all sly. "Vic doesn't really like to talk about real things."

  "I could see that. You got her to talk though?"

  "Uh. No," Laura laughed, a little uncomfortable. She reached over our food and took one of the napkins I'd brought to help hold her sandwich. "We um… Got drunk. Dodged important topics and…"

  She stopped herself from saying something and flashed me her eyes.

  "And?" I prompted.

  She covered her mouth while she chewed and tried not to smile so much. "I dunno," she laughed, putting her sandwich down. "I dunno what came over me. I kinda kissed her."

  My heart sank and I stopped breathing for a second. It was like I had no control. It was just a quick dose of poison hitting my system.

  So that's why she looked happier. I made myself smile.

  "Ah, so what did she do?" I asked.

  I kept myself busy, eating and pretending I wasn't dying inside. Waiting for the whole story was making it so slow.

  "Uh," Laura eyed me again. "She did what Vic does. Which is… Mean," Laura laughed. "She makes me fall in love with her and then she pushes me away. And laughs," Laura smiled. "Yeah, I don't know. Nothing ever makes sense with us. I think we just missed each other and of course we were verifiably drunk."

  "You're in love with her?" I asked.

  Laura laughed again. "Why are you so curious?" She smiled over at me and touched my thigh playfully.

  "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to figure you out," I replied.

  "What's there to figure out," she asked. "I tell you everything." She ate a fork full of mashed potatoes and watched me in curiosity.

  "I just mean you and Vic. I'm trying to figure it out."

  "Good luck," she joked. "There's no sense to be had. No mystery."

  "Okay, I guess I should stop trying then. Good, now I can focus on other things like calc," I laughed.

  "Sorry," Laura apologized. "I know you don't really like Vic. And seeing us together really bothered you yesterday. Probably not fun to hear I don't hate my very complicated and sometimes abusive best friend that you don't understand."

  "It's not that. I just…" I stopped and let silence fill space.

  I couldn't have a thing for her. That would be a disaster.

  Laura touched my arm sweetly.

  "I don't like how she treated you the other day. I don't know her. She has to be good if she makes you happy so I don't think I have any right to not like her," I explained.

  "Told you, you wouldn't like me," Laura comforted.

  "What?" I turned to her, locking our eyes. "What makes you think I don't like you? If you haven't noticed, it's very much the opposite."

  "You don't like … anything about her, Charli."

  "I just told you that I don't know her. I can't know if I like her or not. Okay, I'm not someone that decides things about people with one meeting. What does it have to do with me liking you anyway?" I huffed.

  "Wow, okay, sorry," she laughed it off. "Forget I said it. It doesn't matter."

  "It does matter. I don't want you thinking that I don't like you. The reason I got mad at Vic was because I do like you a lot… maybe too much," I said.

  "Oh wow. Sorry," Laura said, a little wounded. "Has anyone ever told you, you're a little insulting some times?" She was half teasing but I could tell she wasn't too happy about the way I said my words.

  "No, because I don't talk to many people like this. Maybe I'm just bad at it," I said.

  I got up, dropping the last bit of my burger back into the container.

  "I'm gonna go take a shower," I said.

  I went to get my shower things and a change of clothes. Laura stayed quiet, affording me my space. The good mood she'd been in was now quickly slipping away.

  My heart was racing. I had been so close to saying something else. I made myself go take a shower instead of standing, frozen in the hallway.

  When I came back, my heart sank because she had moved the beds back to their original spots. I'd screwed something up or she just didn't want to be close to me anymore.

  "Everything okay?" I asked.

  "Hm? Oh, yeah," she said. I'd interrupted her reading. "Figured you'd want your space. Since you're sick and all." She'd changed into her pjs and been laying down on her bed, curled toward the wall. When I spoke to her though she turned toward me and curled up in a more open way.

  "Oh, okay," I said. I put my things away and got in bed again. I felt the loss of closeness and I knew she was going to pull away. She had Vic. I was just the person that had been nice to her here.

  Anyone could have taken that spot if they had met her first. I didn't want her to think I wouldn't be here though. I was a little addicted.

  "Do you want to eat lunch with me outside tomorrow?" I asked.

  "Sure," she said.

  "I'll come find you then. We can go out by the fireplace."

  We had such a nice meal there the first time, maybe we could recreate it. I just wanted the tension to go away.

  It was this place. Everything had been simple. It changed with Laura. I was being drawn in.

  "I'm going to practice tomorrow for sure and hopefully they won't send me back. So, I'll probably miss you at dinner," I said.

  “You shouldn’t go to practice,” Laura said, all ready to mother me. “If you’re sick, you should stay here. Tell Serena. This place is dumb.”

  "I'll talk to coach. She probably will send me back though," I said.

  “Yeah, but, I mean, class too. If you’re sick, you shouldn’t be in class. You should be resting.”

  "I don't want to get other people sick but I don't feel like I have a fever anymore so I shouldn't be contagious."

  “Uh huh,” Laura said, not believing it and possibly mocking me a little. There was no malice there.

  "You wanna take my temp?" I teased.

  “Uh, no,” she huffed a laugh. “Being rundown is usually the body trying to tell you something. But you go right ahead and run recklessly rampant with your own illness if that’s truly what you please.”

  "You're very mom right now. I'm digging it," I teased.

  I walked to the closet and pulled out fresh sheets,
going back to my bed and sitting them on the nightstand before I pulled the dirty sheets off the bed.

  "Says the girl who's changing her sheets at, oh I dunno, 7pm," Laura teased, after a glance at her phone. "You are so fucking weird. I would never even think to do that."

  "I've been sick and had a shower. It just makes me feel better to have fresh sheets," I explained.

  I started to put the new sheets on and then looked over at her bed.

  "Watch out, I'll change yours when you're not paying attention," I joked.

  "That is really crazy," Laura said.

  "You're living with a crazy person," I said.

  I made a weird face, stretching my lips and eyelids out with my fingers.

  "Cuurfal, uh wull get roooo," I mumbled.

  "Oh god." Laura made a nervous cringe face and held her breath. "Yeah, okay, you need to sleep. You're at the delirious level."

  I released my face and moved it around to get rid of the effects of stretching it.

  "No, no! Just wait, I get crazier," I laughed.

  I finished up my bed, throwing my pillows back on after I changed the pillow cases.

  "Don't you like a fresh bed? There's nothing like getting in and smelling the detergent scent and the coolness of the sheets."

  "I like being lazy," she said. "And my mom always got weird if I tried to wash my sheets. Like it meant I did something wrong."

  "Oh, hmm, I've never thought about it like that." I laughed. "My mom was just happy she didn't have to do it," I said.

  I snuggled into my pillow and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Stress hit me like a brick and I squeezed my eyes tight.

  I just wanted to stop feeling things for a few days at least.

  “You okay?” Laura asked. “I can go hunt around for some medicine if you need it.”

  "Na, I'm fine. I'm just tired. I'll dose myself with NyQuil and hopefully I'll be better."

  My throat felt worse but I wasn't coughing. I had been better earlier today but it was just taking a dive now.

  "Well, maybe if you get up I'll take the NyQuil," I said.

  “What?” Laura laughed, confused.

  "Sorry, I think I'm delirious. Can you please get me the NyQuil?" I asked.

  I had a bottle of water by the bed to chase it with.

  “Yeah, sure,” Laura said, getting up and rummaging around for it in my things. Once she found it she brought it over and handed it to me.

  I reached out for the bottle but I stopped her from letting go by putting my fingers over hers where they grasped the plastic.

  "Thank you," I said, meeting her eyes.

  I took the bottle and watched her. Her eyes stared back at mine and it took my words a few seconds to actually travel into her ears. “No problem,” she said, licking her lips and biting her bottom one with her nervous energy. Her gaze dropped and she turned away, finding her bed again and crawling up onto it.

  "I'm going to set the alarm a little later," I said.

  “Kay,” she said, pulling her book up again and watching me openly.

  I opened the medicine and drank what was left in the bottle. It was definitely more than one dose.

  "Ugh," I groaned and grabbed the water. "This better be gone tomorrow." I drank the rest of the bottle which was half full. "I'm sorry you have to see this mess," I sighed.

  “You’re fine,” she said. “Just sleep.”

  "Are you mad at me?" I asked, murmuring the words.

  Laura dropped her book down to the bed and narrowed her eyes. “Why would I be mad at you?”

  "Cause of the Vic stuff," I said.

  “I’m not mad at you Charli.”

  "Okay," I said.

  I lay there and waited for the sleepy meds to take me away. Eventually, I wasn't even aware of anything but how sleepy I was and that I missed being close to Laura.

  NyQuil always gave me dreamless sleep. I felt like I'd gone to another world and came back when I woke up.

  The light in the room was bright, too bright. It was late. I jerked up into a sitting position.

  "Fuck!"

  I looked over to Laura's bed but she wasn't there. The clock by my bed read five after ten. I rolled out of bed and then fell back when dizziness took over.

  I reached for my phone and unlocked it, pulling up my text app. I found the thread I had with Laura and opened it.

  Charli: hey, I just woke up did you make it to class?

  Laura: Yup. Told Serena you were sick. You’re all good.

  Charli: thanks. See you later.

  So Laura had let me sleep on through the alarm. I couldn't bring myself to care. The feeling of fire in my throat was taking up all my attention.

  At this point, I needed to see the nurse. Even my fear of missing class was in the backseat. I didn't want to move though. Maybe just more sleep and then I'd go later but first the bathroom.

  The next time I woke up, the light was lower and I wasn't alone. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Laura sitting on her bed.

  My lips were dry and split and I had an awful taste in my mouth from breathing through it while I slept.

  I was lying on my stomach with my head turned so my neck had gotten stiff and sore. I lifted my face off the pillow and groaned.

  "What time is it?" I asked.

  The words sounded like croaks from a frog, not anything like my normal voice.

  I coughed and turned my head toward my pillow, giving up and laying my heavy head back down.

  "Shhhh," Laura soothed and brought me some water. "It doesn't matter what time it is. You're not going anywhere." She sat beside me on my bed and rubbed my back. I felt her hand slip under my shirt and she hissed as she touched directly down onto my skin. "You're so warm."

  "Mmm, I feel cold though." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Don't stop."

  No one but my mom had ever been close to me when I was sick. Laura made me feel a tiny bit better. That was worth everything right now.

  "I should go to the nurse though," I muttered.

  "Nah," Laura said, rubbing my skin. "They'd just tell you you're sick. Which you already know."

  "Yeah, I guess. My mom always made my dad give me stuff since he's a doctor and everything. I've never been to a doctor's office really except when I sprained my ankle really bad at practice back home," I babbled.

  "You can go to the nurse if you want but she'll probably just give you more cough syrup and tell you to lay down. I can go get you some."

  "I don't want you to go out of your way," I protested.

  “Uh. I’d rather you not pass out in the middle of campus,” Laura said. “If I have to see an ambulance take you away I’ll probably cry, so…”

  "That's a fair point," I conceded.

  Laura scratched her nails lightly down the center of my back and sighed. “I’ll go ask around.” She got up from my bed and snatched her phone before leaving. “Don’t move,” she ordered.

  "I'll try not to," I laughed.

  She raised her eyebrows and pointed at me as she backed out of the doorway and disappeared inside the hall.

  She was so cute and it was too easy to forget that we had just met. I lay my head down and let myself think about it. I felt crazy. I just needed to chill out.

  She wasn't gone long. I didn't look up right when the door opened. I let her walk in and get close. I knew it was her for certain when I caught her scent, vanilla, flowers, and a woodsy undertone.

  "That was fast," I commented.

  "Can't have you needlessly suffering," she said, sitting down beside me again on my bed. "She gave me these pills and also these," they were cough drops. "She also said, next time we can just tell Serena or call the main office and she'll come right out."

  "Thank you," I said.

  I rolled over to take the pills and grabbed a bottle that still had water in it that I'd left on the nightstand.

  I swallowed the water and the pills in one gulp, put the bottle back where I got it, and rolled back over.
/>   "I'm glad you're around," I said.

  "Aww," Laura smiled down on me. "It's no problem." She slid her hand back onto my back like she had done before. "I hate that you're sick."

  "Me too. It's very inconvenient and I'll feel really bad if you get sick too," I said.

  "If I get sick I'll just sleep."

  "That's a good idea. Sleep is nice but I still hope you don't get sick."

  "It's up to the fates," Laura said. "I can leave though, if it's bothering you."

  "No! You're not bothering me. I like you here," I murmured.

  Laura laughed and rubbed my back. "Okay," she said. "Want me to text your friends or something?"

  "No, they're busy and they know I'm sick."

  I hummed, closing my eyes and enjoying her touch.

  "No one has ever rubbed my back before. I didn't know what I was missing," I murmured.

  Laura took her bag off her shoulder and tugged her shoes off, climbing over my body to lay on my bed by my side. "You should relax," she breathed, rubbing my back some more and trying to help me. "You're always running around."

  "Yeah, it's normal for my nutty life," I said.

  Laura stilled as she got comfortable. The way she rubbed my back became calmer and more sweet. I felt her move in closer to me and rest her forehead and nose against my shoulder. "I wish life wasn't so shitty," she wondered out loud.

  "That would be good. Who can we talk to about getting that fixed?"

  I relaxed and leaned against her body.

  "No one I know of," Laura whispered. She breathed in my shirt sleeve and let her fingers linger at the back of my neck. I felt her lips turn into a smile against the skin of my arm.

  "What are you thinking?" I asked, smiling at the contact.

  "I like your smell," she said. "It's nice." Her hand trailed down my back and snuck beneath the fabric of my shirt again like before. "You're so warm."

  "Probably the fever," I joked.

  I shivered when her hand touched my bare skin again. It evoked this mix of feelings, from calm to thrilling.

  "Thank you, by the way. I'm glad I smell good if it means you get closer."

  "Aww, I like being close to you," Laura offered. "You're the only one here who doesn't drive me completely nuts. Plus, you don't pull away like Vic does and you're not completely sex-obsessed like Pete or Logan."