"If you'll have me," I said, reaching over and taking her hand. "I'd love to go."
“I’ll always have you,” Charli said.
"That's the kind of thing you can't actually know," I reminded.
“I mean, I’ll always want you to come along,” she corrected.
"Yeah well. Vic used to say stuff like that and now she doesn't so…" I got up and went to my desk to put on some makeup. "Things change."
“Well, I’m not Vic and she’s dumb if she doesn’t say it anymore. I don’t think she was interested in you the way that I am anyway.”
I stopped and looked down. Vic may be complicated but for a long time she was crazy into me. It took me a second to drop those words of Charli’s and leave them on the ground where they couldn’t carry any weight. I knew what was real. It kinda hurt to think she would find me that stupid, to stay and wait for someone whom she thought was so heartless and cruel. Vic wasn’t simply the monster she’d seen.
I worked on my eyes and Charli watched as I looked in the mirror.
“Would you do my face?”
"Sure," I smiled lightly.
“Just do whatever you think will make me look pretty,” she said.
"You're already pretty, Charli." I got up and moved back, motioning for her to come close and sit up on my desk. "Come 'ere," I said, helping her up and looking closely at her skin. All that running and sweating made her skin soft and sweet. Even from a small distance I could sense it smelled good.
I stepped in between her thighs and got closer. Doing someone's makeup always felt intimate to me. I leaned in extra close and placed my hands on her skin. Any excuse to touch her, I’d take.
My heart sped and I swallowed. I could pull her in and kiss her. She was so tempting. The little freckle at the left corner of her lips begged to be touched and kissed.
“Damn,” she sighed.
"What is it," I asked, too busy touching her to pay attention.
“Nothing,” she lied.
I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out through tight lips. One of my hands rest down on the top of her thigh. "Are you having doubts about your looks," I wondered. The mascara wand was coming close to her eye and I was watching her carefully. "You don't need this stuff," I said, tilting my head.
“I don’t really think about my looks that much. I just saw you putting on your makeup and wondered what it would be like if you did mine.”
As I touched and played Charli kept so still. At one point she even tucked her hands beneath her thighs to resist most movement.
"Fair enough," I relented. I definitely wasn’t subconscious about watching her. My eyes traveled her features many times and I gently concentrated on putting the makeup on her.
“Your eyes have little grey parts like icebergs,” she said.
My eyes flicked to meet hers again. I smiled. "I can't do your makeup if you're being sweet," I said. "It's too hard to concentrate."
“Sorry, it’s hard not to say things out loud. You’re so pretty, it screws me up.”
My smile stretched and I knew I was blushing underneath everything. "Do you want me to do this or do you just want to flirt with me," I laughed.
“Both,” she replied.
I breathed in and shook my head. "You're insufferable," I decided.
“I've heard that before but I swear I’ll be good and stay quiet from now on.” She was smiling and I liked it.
"Yeah right," I challenged. But then I leaned in again and started to work on her lips. "You're really lucky I like looking at you," I whispered.
She made a small noise as she went to reply but stopped herself and kept her lips closed, clearing her throat instead and watching my eyes.
I smirked and tried to act cool about it.
She narrowed her eyes and waited until I was done with her lips.
“You’re evil,” she stated, sure.
"Why? Because I'm nice to you?"
I took a beauty blender out of my bag and used it to smooth some contour out onto her cheeks.
"You're very confusing, Greenwood."
"No, because you tease me," she said.
"Excuse me?" I asked, confused. "I tease you?" Now that was a joke.
"Yeah, you look like that and smell like that," Charli said.
"If I ask you something do you promise not to freak out?"
"Of course," she said.
That was probably going to be a hard promise to keep.
"Are you on something," I wondered.
She laughed and sputtered. To her the question was probably out of the blue.
"No, I'm not. Why?" She asked.
"I told you," I laughed too. "You've been acting differently. Standing me up. Going out on dates. Kissing girls.” I touched her neck and brushed my thumb on her skin. "How's that," I asked, wanting her to turn and look at herself.
"Um," she looked at the mirror and her eyes got wide. I didn’t do much but she seemed shocked. "Is that me?" She laughed again.
"Uh, yeah," I laughed softly and looked down. Then I cleared my throat and looked back up again. "Yeah. Um… it's definitely you," I said. This face had been hounding my dreams.
"I don't think I've had this much makeup on since I was little and playing in my mom's room.”
"I can take it off for you if you want," I suggested.
"No, I'll keep it. It's not bad, just different," she replied.
"It's hot," I muttered. I had to concentrate on cleaning my desk to even distract myself from it. "Seeing you in makeup almost killed me yesterday."
"Why?" Charli asked.
"I just wasn't expecting it," I said. “Like I said. You're already very pretty."
Charli blushed and looked down. If we didn't stop this I would just not control myself anymore.
"Thank you," she said.
"Uh huh," I smiled. "Any time."
"I'll call us a car," she said. She got down from my desk and walked to her phone on the nightstand.
In the meantime, I made use of my hands by blow drying my hair. The less I looked at her the better. She was so hot I was almost regretting this thing.
Charli put her phone in her back pocket when she was done. Then she looked over at me.
"We've probably got about twenty minutes," she said.
"I'll be done soon," I comforted.
There was nothing left to do but admire her and that was something I was used to indulging in by now.
"You look amazing," Charli commented.
"Thanks," I said, trying not to let it go to my head. Anything could change.
I looked away and ignored the feelings that assaulted me. Teenage hormones and some kind of fierce love.
“I guess we should get out there,” Charli said.
She opened the door and didn’t wait on me this time.
“Hey, check out Charli,” Nadia called.
Charli blushed and let her hair fall forward some to hide her face.
“Daaaamn girl,” Grace said.
“It’s just makeup, weirdos.”
“Whatever, you look hot. I wanna play,” Nadia beamed.
I was late to the hallway but I had eyes and I heard.
“We’re just going to the movies,” Charli said.
“Oh, cool,” Grace said.
Grace and Nadia traded some pretty obvious looks and I walked by quietly.
“Thanks for the compliments. Apparently, I should get Laura to glam me up more often,” Charli replied.
“For sure,” Nadia said.
“Maybe we can do a sleepover facial and makeup night or something one weekend,” Cindy suggested.
“Sure, sounds good,” Charli said.
I came up behind her and held her shoulders to get her to move and avoid the bait and chatter. "Already making plans to ditch me," I teased.
“No, possibly making plans for both of us without your input actually.”
“You guys are too cute. It kills me. We always wonder what you’re doing holed up in your room a
nd I’m sure it’s just telling each other how pretty the other is,” Nadia said.
"Actually, we fight a lot," I lied. "Charli's kinda evil.”
“Am not!” She replied.
“I believe it,” Cindy said, narrowing her eyes and teasing her.
“I feel ganged up on,” Charli lamented. “Stop telling my secrets,” she scolded. And then I felt her grabbing my hand.
"Whatever. Fine," I said, cool as ever. "We gotta go anyway."
“True,” Charli said. She waved to Cindy and Nadia. “See you guys later.”
They watched us as we turned the corner to the main entrance.
“See your skills are appreciated,” Charli said.
"My skills have nothing to do with how hot you look.”
“Your makeup job is what made me look like this. They’ve never stopped me in the hall to tell me how hot I am before.”
We walked out into the quad and continued across until we were at the front driveway of the school where the car would pick us up.
"Well, I'm sure they saw you go out with that girl," I teased. People were always more interested when they saw you with somebody else.
"Which means nothing," Charli said. .
"Um. No," I laughed. "It means you've been seen actually kissing someone and flirting. It's hot."
"You think it's hot? Wh- how?" Charli asked.
"I think to them it's hot," I corrected. "To me it hurts my stomach. But I'm stupid so…"
"You're not stupid," she insisted. "And I'm not seeing her again."
I looked toward the driveway.
"You don't have to stop seeing her. I thought you were friends." I stopped and looked at her, trying to understand.
"I meant I'm not going to go on any more dates unless they’re with you. We're still friends of course," Charli explained.
“Yeah,” I said, deflating a little and searching her.
"What? You look sad," Charli said.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s just confusing. I don’t want to keep you from people.”
"You're not," Charli said.
"I think I am," I realized, a little uncomfortable. "All these people love you and want to be with you and here I am getting all sensitive when you talk to anybody. That's not cool. I need to work on it."
"Maybe I don't mind," Charli beamed.
"Maybe," I laughed and blushed. "You're just really fucking nice to me and I don't at all understand it."
"Because I like you a lot. What's mysterious about that? You're hot and sweet and you smell good," she said.
"I rest my case," I sighed, overwhelmed.
"Maybe you shouldn't try to understand it and just accept it. Then you won't have to worry anymore. I'm not going anywhere because I'm exactly where I want to be.”
The car came up the drive and stopped in front of us. Charli walked forward and opened the door for me, turning to smile.
I stared. "Okay, you need to stop," I warned. "You look way too good today. I can't take it."
I got in the car and settled. Charli followed and scooted close on the back seat.
The driver greeted us and I said hi back but I was still way too overwhelmed by her to really give a fuck about anything.
"What is going to happen if I don't stop?" Charli asked.
I raised my eyebrows and appraised her. "I'm sure you can imagine. Some boundaries will be crossed."
"Then I'm not stopping," Charli said, way too adamant.
“Okay,” I laughed and nodded. Sitting in the car, Charli reached over and took my hand.
I moved even closer so our legs were touching. And she pulled our hands into her lap, playing with my fingers.
This felt different, like a real date. No more pretending or fucking around.
"Your hands are so soft. I can never stop myself from petting them," she admitted.
“They’re just hands,” I said, modest about it.
"No, they're your hands and I love them," Charli replied.
“Oh, okay,” I nodded and smiled. “I’ll take that.” I fucking loved when she whispered.
"Good," she said.
Charli sighed and put her head on my shoulder which was super cute.
“Aww,” I cooed. I let my free hand loose to reach and touch at her cheek.
"You can do that forever but I might fall asleep."
“If you do I’ll be mad at you,” I whispered. “You promised me a date.”
Her eyes widened.
"No, there's no way I'll disappoint you," she reassured.
I tilted my head just a little so my lips were open to her and presented in her line of reach.
Charli leaned a little, sensing me. It was so small that the movement of the car might account for it but I figured my need was pretty obvious.
The car hit a bump in the pavement and her forehead bumped up and hit mine. Pain rocketed through us.
"Ow! Oh my God," I muttered. My hand reached up and touched my forehead before reaching out and touching hers. "Sorry," I said, correcting my sudden upset.
Charli laughed and rubbed her head where we had touched.
"It wasn't your fault," she said.
"Still," I said, leaning forward and kissing her cheek.
Charli turned her head just as I pulled away and she kissed the corner of my mouth. A thrill went through me and I pulled back to put a small space between us.
I laughed a little and leaned in and stared at her lips. "What was that," I asked, challenging her.
"A kiss?" She ventured.
"Yeah, no," I laughed. "I don't think so."
"Oh, what about…" She moved close again and kissed my lips for real. My head spun with the sudden rush of attraction. When she kissed me she jump started my engine. I kissed her back, leaning into her and really tasting. When she pulled away I breathed in slowly and stared at her.
"You're too pretty for this," I said, nearly whispering.
"Too pretty for what?" She asked.
I was flying and I wanted to kiss her again immediately but she was so cute when she spoke.
"For this," I said, biting my bottom lip and staring up at her vulnerable. I didn’t deserve any of this. Charli was so sweet.
"I'm not too pretty, you are," she argued.
"There's more than just pretty," I said.
"Yeah, and that's not what I like most about you anyway.”
"Yeah right," I teased. What else was there? My jerky quips and overall fortitude?
"It's true. You don't even know how charming you are. It's kind of worrisome. Your personality makes you more physically attractive even.”
"Mhmm," I teased skeptically.
"The real question is why me," Charli said.
“What do you mean,” I wondered.
"Just that it surprises me that you like me.”
“Oh, well, yeah. You’re super unlikable,” I joked.
"Ha! More like boring, you smart ass.”
“Uhm. Frustrating is the correct word.”
"I could say the same about you sometimes but I won't because you can win this one.”
“Do you really want me,” I asked.
She stopped smiling and looked at me, searching to find intention. We joked and flirted but this was one of those times she couldn't do that.
"Yes," she said.
My chest ached, heart speeding up. I’d been wanting her to say these things for so long now that I couldn’t even put a pin on when it all started, maybe it was right when we met.
I swallowed and felt things, unexpected things, like lust and care, a sudden need to be beneath her naked form.
“Strange,” I said, trying to be light about it, non-committal. Charli kept doing this, going from full-on flirting to looking and even dating other girls. What could I trust?
The truth was, I couldn’t believe this even if she had said it with her own perfect lips. This was Charli we were talking about, popular Charli with all her dorky friends and her perfect family, and a school full of fans wh
o knew both her first and last name.
Even if it was true, if she did want me over everyone else, who could say it wasn’t momentary? Or even something built on convenience because she wanted to have experiences and be done with them, tuck them away in her backpocket like a small basic checklist.
I didn’t want to be a dumb checkmark. But I also didn’t want to not feel her like this.
What we’d done before was fantastic. Different but fantastic.
I ache just thinking about it.
"Strange?" She asked.
"Yeah," I smiled. "It's almost like you don't know what's good for you."
It was easier to joke than be serious. Charli and I weren't even alike. It made no sense for her to want me.
I slipped my freehand down onto her thigh and let it rest there all dangerous and alive.
"I just know what I want and I doubt your hypothesis," she answered.
She put her hand on top of mine and squeezed it. In the process she was making me squeeze her thigh. Flurries attacked my stomach. A little snowstorm was taking flight. It was hard not to double over. The pleasure was so sudden and instant. So strong.
“I think you like playing with me,” I said.
"I'm not,” she said, frowning. “I'm trying to show you what I want but if you don't believe me I can stop.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” I said, keeping her hand with mine. “It’s not,” I said, trying to fix it. “This just came out of nowhere so… It’s hard to trust. You were literally on a date yesterday, Charli.” How could I trust that this wasn’t something else? Something unrelated to me? “A date with a really hot girl.”
"The whole date I was thinking about you," she said.
“Okay,” I nodded, trying to imagine that. “Then why did you kiss her?”
It was fine that she did, it just didn’t make much sense given all she was saying.
"She was being so nice,” Charli said. “She could tell my heart wasn't in it and then she kissed me and I didn't know what to do so I let it happen. I didn't feel anything. It was okay but nothing special. Not like when we kissed.”
“Is that why you wanted me to kiss you last night?”
She was so adamant, trying to push an interaction, like I wouldn’t notice that she suddenly wanted something from me.
"I wanted to kiss you. That's why. I knew it'd be different from the nothing with Lissa and it was… is," she replied.
"So suddenly," I reminded, staring at her. The longer I knew her, the more beautiful she became.
Love Like Crazy Page 29