Love Like Crazy
Page 31
“Good thought,” she complimented.
She shoved her bottle of water into her hoodie pocket and was carrying the popcorn in her other hand, which freed up her right hand to take mine and hold it.
A couple of girls from our school were whispering to each other and watching us.
“Here you are,” the man with the tickets said. It was a gift card. I took it.
“Thanks,” I said. I felt bad that Charli had paid for us to come for five minutes and then go.
We left the theater, walking past the posters and cardboard cutouts of movies that were going to come out soon. She pushed the door open with her side and let go of my hand.
“M’lady,” she cooed, offering to let me go out the door first.
“You’re weird,” I laughed. I tugged on her and made her go first. Pushing her through the door was a lot more fun than letting her be overly polite for no reason.
“You must like weird then,” she teased back.
“I must’ve gotten used to it,” I shrugged and teased her. Vic would never.
“So, I’m like a fungus. I grew on you?” She asked.
“Uh-huh, sure,” I nodded.
“Am I at least a mushroom?” She asked, pouting.
“Why would you want to be a mushroom,” I laughed.
“Because it’s better than being a mucorales fungi,” she explained.
“Oh my god,” I laughed. “What the fuck are you even saying?”
“I’m talking about how I’d rather be a delicious mushroom you can eat than a pin mold that could make you sick,” she clarified.
“Uh. If I ate you, you’d be gone,” I reminded. It was far too easy to tease her. I’d only been doing it consistently for several weeks.
“Um, well,” she blushed and ducked her head. “Not eat l-like that,” she sputtered out.
“And what if you’re poisonous?” I teased, not allowing myself to cave in at her adorableness. “I mean, I’m no scientist,” I reminded.
“I’m not poisonous. I’m delicious and healthy,” Charli argued.
“A poisonous mushroom might not know that it’s poisonous,” I teased again.
We could talk like this for hours and we probably would.
I didn’t mind it. It was like having Vic back only better. I wasn’t constantly scared I was screwing everything up. With Charli, things were safer. Everything was.
I took Charli’s phone from her pocket and found a car with her Uber app. The whole time she tried to fight with me and get her phone. I was resistant and enjoyed teasing her. She would grab my wrist and I would twist it. She would grab my arm and I would turn and push my back into her body until she was pushed up against the wall.
“Well, this is new,” she said, laughing.
“Which part,” I teased, aggressive. It wasn’t that new. If anything, it was usually the other way around.
“You having me up against a wall,” she said.
“You’re too much trouble,” I bit. “I have to keep you still.”
Her lips were so pretty. I hated that they weren’t touching me.
“Then maybe you should try harder,” she said.
Her arms moved to my shoulders and she flipped our positions before I could fight her. Now, I was up against the wall and she was in control.
She didn’t hesitate this time and kissed me deep.
I felt my body give in. She was a lot stronger than me when she wanted to be. But that wasn’t it. I think I wanted her more. Maybe it just felt like that.
“Mmm. No thanks,” I muttered, content to be trapped by her. I touched my hand to her side and felt that need again deep down in my body. The craving for her.
I tugged on her belt loop so she’d crash even harder into me. “Rather you just win,” I whispered.
I breathed into her, teasing a kiss and not giving it.
“You’re going to kill me with that,” Charli said.
She moved my hoodie up so she could feel my side with one of her hands. Her eyes didn’t let me go. She kept me there suspended in feeling.
“Your face changes when I touch you. I like it and I keep craving it,” she whispered.
My mouth hung open a little. I tried to find words but she was right, I was too distracted by the way she looked and how it felt to be pushed up against a wall and touched by her. Her nature was so intimate and also playful like there was also risk.
The more she played with me the more I wondered if I was just a game. There was fear in it but I also wanted it so what could I lose?
A car rumbled up and we both heard it.
She pecked me on the lips and let me go, turning around to where the car had stopped.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
Of course it couldn’t just be some random person driving the car.
I looked to Charli wondering how much she remembered from that day at the beach long before.
“Come on,” I said, taking her hand and leading her to the open window. Inside was Vic. It wasn’t the same car, this one belonged to her brother and I recognized it.
“Hey,” I said. I was confused but this wasn’t the most outlandish thing to happen.
“You called an Uber,” Vic said. Her tone was plain and void of emotion.
“Yeah,” I said and looked down. I swallowed. “Yeah. We did.”
“Okay,” Vic said. It was hard to try and talk since I'd been actively ignoring her for the past few weeks.
“You’re um.. You’re an Uber driver now?”
“No,” Vic said, letting out a labored sigh. “Terry’s an Uber driver. He said he’d pay me half of whatever I did. And the tips are mine. I get better scores.”
“Nice,” I nodded. I licked my lips and bit my bottom one. “Is um. Is this okay?” I asked. I looked to Charli and then back to her. “You don’t have to.”
“Just get in,” Vic said.
We hadn’t been speaking and for all I knew she hated me now.
I opened the back door and held it open for Charli. She slipped into the car and moved over so I could get in after her if I wanted. She was watching me and checking on me.
It wasn’t a big deal. At least, it didn’t have to be, right?
I got in and sat close to Charli, taking up the middle where people usually avoided.
“Buckle up,” Vic said, staring back at me in the rearview. Her gaze was always so bolt straight, so intense and unwavering.
Charlie leaned in, digging the seat belt out from behind me and giving me the buckle.
“You okay?” She whispered.
“Yeah,” I smiled. Seeing Vic was fine. It was not knowing Vic that bothered me.
I tried to remember the last things we said to each other in person. The sad thing was, I couldn’t.
“Back to the school,” Vic asked.
“Mhmm,” I nodded. My feet were on the elevated hump behind the armrest. I rest my elbows on my knees and stared out the window at the parking lot and the trees.
Vic drove a little ways and I quickly realized she was going to make this whole drive and not say another thing.
“How are things with Pete,” I tried.
“Fine,” she muttered, non-committal.
Charli moved her hand to my leg just behind my elbow and she squeezed a little before relaxing it and starting to rub in little comforting circles.
I quickly noticed and breathed in, relieved. I moved my hand down to hers and held it. She made me smile.
When I looked up again I noticed Vic’s eyes rolling in the rearview.
“That was kinda fucked up at the party,” I goaded.
“Yeah. Sure,” Vic said.
“Why’d you bring me there,” I asked, annoyed.
“You needed to relax.”
“I wanted to hang out with you,” I reminded.
“Yeah right,” she bit.
I breathed deep and tried not to be pissed but it was so easy when it was her.
Charli was quiet beside me, holding my hand. I could feel h
er eyes on me sometimes. She inched closer and I felt the side of her body touch mine.
Vic breathed in and let it out. She was obviously frustrated by me. “So, you guys are together now? You’re like fucking?”
“Whoa,” I laughed, a little bothered.
“What? It’s kinda obvious,” Vic said. She was staring at me way more than she stared at the road.
Charli sat forward a little and I felt her body tense but she stayed quiet.
“Don’t worry. I’ll tell Logan for you.”
“What for,” I muttered, annoyed.
“Well, last time you saw him you fucked him so… Don’t you think he should know?”
“I think I told him enough that I wasn’t in love with him,” I reminded. “And I know I wouldn’t have fucked him if you hadn’t of brought me to that stupid party.”
“Yeah right. It’s my fault,” Vic said, all annoyed.
“My whole relationship with him is your fault. But that’s fine, it wasn’t bad.”
My stomach hurt and I began to remember all the bad stuff we got into. I didn’t like to think about it. In fact, I put it off outside of my head but right now I wasn’t able to because this was Vic.
“Whatever you need to think to feel better.”
“Shut up,” I said, bothered. “Why are you being a jerk?”
I wanted to jump into the front seat and just shake her.
“I’m not being anything,” she said, baiting me.
“Yes you are and you know it. What is it? What do you want? Is it like a show for her or something?” I wondered, speaking about Charli. “You haven’t had a real conversation with me since I got banished to Hanover. You pissed me off last time I saw you and now you’re being a bitch.”
The car swerved quickly and I fell forward when it jerked to a stop. My foot slipped and I hit my body hard against the back of Vic’s chair. If I hadn’t been buckled I would’ve flown.
“Get out,” Vic said, cold.
“No,” I said, bothered. “What the hell’s the matter with you? You’ve been acting like everything that happens to me is my fault, like I fucking asked for it or something.”
“Just go!” Vic yelled.
“I don’t want to!” I yelled back.
Vic got out of the car and walked around to my door. I looked to Charli, knowing that if Vic touched me Charli might freak. “Just let me fight with her,” I whispered quickly.
My door flew open and Vic crawled in and tried to pull at my buckle. My hands flew down to it and I kept her hands from gaining any advantage. Once I heard the buckle click, I reached up and pushed Vic back by her shoulders, hard. Which wasn’t smart.
When she came back toward me she gripped my throat and pushed me back into the cushy seat. She did it so hard, my head bounced. I felt her nails pinch my neck as she closed her hand over my airpipe and made it impossible for me to breathe.
“Stop it,” Vic threatened through gritted teeth.
I hit her chest hard a few times with my fists. It took all my strength and I knew she was really mad at me.
“Let go,” Charli growled.
I stared at Vic and watched her gaze transfer over.
Her anger receded. After a second, she let go and crawled out.
I panted, not caring at all. Vic was standing at the door and waiting for us to go.
“I’m not going,” I said.
“What’s that?” Vic asked. She leaned in and stared between us. “You better make her go,” Vic said, speaking to Charli.
“You’re supposed to be her friend. Maybe you should listen to her instead of getting defensive and being a bitch,” Charli said.
“Aw fuck,” I muttered. I looked to Charli kinda shocked that she said that. I could call Vic a bitch but everyone else? Vic was going to murder. I knew Vic.
“Did she really just fucking say that,” Vic asked.
“Okay, we’re going,” I said, scared.
I reached over Charli and opened her door. “Get out,” I asked, worried. “Go.”
The thought of Vic actually attacking her made me scared. Vic would bring a knife to a dinner party. She wasn't the kinda person you might call predictable. I pushed at Charli and hurried us both out of the car. But I wasn’t quick. Vic’s anger was too much. She always waited to use it, until someone pissed her off a certain way and it made sense to her to just unleash but it wasn’t sane.
Vic caught Charli by the waist and literally threw her out into the street.
“STOP IT!” I yelled.
They would both fight. I knew they wanted to. This was bad.
“Back off!” Charli yelled.
She was pushing Vic off of her and rolling so she could try to get away but Vic stayed on her and Charli did some kind of move where she hugged Vic to her body and then flipped her over so their positions were reversed.
She held Vic’s throat like she had mine a moment ago but Vic nailed her in the soft side and Charli had to defend herself from the blows.
“I don’t want to fight you!” Charli shouted. She rolled off Vic and got to her knees, trying to stand.
Vic moved quickly, upset about being choked. She grabbed Charli by her neck and tugged her down, somehow managing to get her back onto the ground. She sat ontop of her and tried to hold her but Charli was strong.
“Stop it Vic!” I yelled and ran over. They needed to get out of the street. It wasn’t very light out and cars always sped on this road. I walked close and stared down at them. “Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal fucking person.”
Vic choked Charli with one hand and then hit her hard in the chest with the other. That was it. I knew Charli probably wouldn’t hold back after that. They were both strong and Charli had obviously been trying not to hurt her.
All it took was the excessive force and Charli bucked Vic with her hips and easily rolled Vic onto her back, trapping her against the asphalt. A car came close and honked, then it swerved.
“You’re going to get us fucking killed. Just stop,” Charli hissed.
She held Vic’s arms down, pinning her to the ground.
I watched them for a second. “Okay,” I said, nervous. “Can you guys get out of the road now?”
“Are you going to let me get up?” Charli asked.
“Whatever you want, princess,” Vic smiled.
I shook my head and walked back to the sidewalk to sit down. This was my fault for trying to get her to talk to me. I just hated that we weren’t even friends.
Charli got up and watched Vic in case she tried to attack again but she didn’t. They both got off the ground, standing and staring each other down. Charli came over and knelt down next to me after a moment and put a hand on my arm.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
I could hear and feel that Vic was shutting her car doors and getting back in her car. The last door slammed shut and it hurt my heart. Her windows rolled up and she drove off.
“Fuck,” I muttered, guilty now. Tears shot to my eyes but I hated them so I resisted the flood. “Lets just go,” I asked, getting up on my feet and leading her by the hand back through the fence toward the school. I didn’t have the capacity to talk about it, about why I needed Vic to talk to me or anything else.
Charli probably thought I was crazy. Her opinion of me when it came to Vic had already been exceedingly low. As we walked in the cold through the moist grass that seemed to go on forever my stomach hurt. "I'm so sorry," I breathed. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, promise," she replied.
"Baby…" I sighed, looking over at her really worried. We were still walking and I didn't want to stop because the girls around campus always loved to stop Charli and talk. "I know you're not fine. I'm not."
"I just mean I'm not seriously hurt. I'm a little shaken but more worried about you," she said.
"Shit," I bit. We reached the back door and a few of the girls were there having a hushed conversation. "Excuse me," I said, pushing past them and pulling Charli through.
The knob was stuck. No matter how hard I tried to get it unstuck it wouldn't budge which only frustrated me more.
Charli put her hand on mine and made me stop. The scrapes on the top of her hands were red and angry. It was like she punched asphalt. I saw harsh dirt and trickling blood.
"Let me," she said. Her other hand patiently touched my back and I leaned back into her, trying to borrow a small fraction of her strength. Oddly enough, just her hands on me helped. Like a small miracle or something.
She got the door open with a steady hand and pushed it open.
"We're home," she said.
"Come 'ere," I asked, looking back at her while I walked to my desk. I had some bandaids in a cheap first aid kit that came with the room.
I pulled my hoodie off and my hair got all staticy. I ignored it, pulling my drawers open to try to find the damn thing. I was so mad I could fucking punch something.
She followed me and stayed close, not touching me but within distance of it.
"Here," I said, showing her the little kit. "Come on. That looks bad."
I motioned for her to sit on the desk.
She sat and let me fuss over her, holding out her hand for me to see.
"I'm sorry things got bad," she said.
I locked eyes with her and felt this nervous fear. Things like this were what I was most worried about. What if my shit got so ridiculous that she didn't like me. So many people were just normal and simple. Charli didn't have to deal with any of this and she wouldn't if it wasn't for knowing me. I was a dark stain on her perfect life, pulling her down into the dark.
"What? Tell me what you're thinking. You look so sad, baby," she said.
"You shouldn't apologize to me. This was me."
I took out the little bottle of alcohol and tried to steady her hands. There wasn't a smart way to do this. I opened the spout and spilled the alcohol all over her damaged fingers.
So many times in a day I'd sit and stare at her perfect hands. Now look what I'd done to them. What Vic had done.
As I poured the liquid out Charli hissed.