Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

"You'll be waiting forever," she replied.

  "Mmm," I hummed into her and nuzzled her skin with my face. The smile on my lips felt pretty permanent. I kissed and sucked on her skin, purposely sucking a little hard so it would leave a mark.

  "You making a claim?" She teased.

  "What?" I asked, confused. I stared up at her and started to suck on a new spot of her skin. When her eyes met mine and I could see her mouth fall open I rolled my eyes, smiling. Adorably, she let out a moan.

  "Giving me a Laura brand," she explained.

  "Only if you're planning on being naked in front of other people," I said. "I didn't think that was your thing. Should I be worried about that?"

  She laughed and shook her head.

  "You really don't. I just liked that you're leaving me reminders and I was teasing," she said.

  "Okay, good," I laughed. "Because I can always move higher if you think I need to worry about that." I snuck up on her body pressing my fingers to her abs and dropping my tongue at her neck to lick and suck.

  She laughed again and moved her head to the side.

  "You're welcome to mark me wherever. I don't care who knows," she said.

  "Oh god," I shivered and breathed. "Don't say that. It's way too tempting to mark you up."

  "Maybe girls would leave me alone," she said.

  “Is that what you really want?” I asked, amused. Charli always got happy when other girls talked to her. It was cute. Plus, she had no idea when she was flirting. It went right over her pretty little head.

  "Yes, because I've got you. I don't want anyone else trying," she said.

  “Hmmm,” I hummed. I eyed her quickly and licked at the side of her neck just to tease. “I’ll think about the public claiming,” I gently kissed. No one would be wondering any more, whether we were

  a couple, whether we touched each other in secret, whether we kissed. I liked that it was our special world.

  I also wondered if it would upset her or bother her to publicly out us like that. I would get pissed when Logan did it. I’d hit him and become upset because I didn’t want my parents or even Vic to see. Luckily, Charli’s parents were not often at Hanover so that wasn’t really a concern.

  I leaned back and admired my girl.

  "Mmm, all I can think about is how you taste," she said.

  She was all dreamy and smiling.

  “I like that,” I said, addicted to the lovedrunk look in her eyes.

  "Have you ever tasted it?" She asked.

  “Uhhh… I’ve tasted you,” I reminded.

  She shook her head.

  "I meant yourself," she clarified.

  “Oh,” I laughed. “Um. I’ve had a little,” I rolled my eyes.

  "And?" She grinned.

  “What?” I laughed, confused by her. I stared at her lips, amused.

  "Was it good?" She asked.

  “I dunno,” I laughed. “Not as good as you. You taste fantastic.”

  "Thanks," she said.

  I moved her hand down between my legs and got her to touch me. The wetness had smoothed everywhere. Then I pulled her fingers up to my mouth and slid them inside.

  She watched me, smiling.

  "That's sexy," she said.

  I sucked on her fingers a little and pulled them out of my mouth, swallowing. She obviously liked it. I pulled her close and slipped my tongue in her mouth, reminding her of what I tasted like.

  She kept me, prolonging the kiss and I felt her hand on my side. We’d probably spend the rest of the night touching. I was excited for it, alive with sudden joy for our future. Tomorrow I could drown in my recollections and faults but right now I didn’t need any of that.

  Chapter 27

  The whole Vic incident was an unfortunate blip. Laura needed time to process it and leave it where it was. I tried not to think about Vic and the feelings that Laura had for her. That just didn't go away. I had to trust her though. We were in a good place. I wanted it to stay that way.

  The intimacy was heaven and she finally let me go there with her which meant everything to me. But late in the afternoon, the following day, her mind shifted back to what had happened and I knew she needed time to brood over that fight in the street. When I finally asked her if she wanted some alone time she told me the truth. I was glad because the last thing I wanted was to be in her way. She was sweet about it, letting me know that it wasn’t my fault.

  She felt enough guilt about the fight that I knew she would be down on herself for a long time. I tried to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault. Vic was the one that had gotten violent. I knew it would just make things worse if I’d really fought her. I couldn’t lose Laura and Vic was really strong turns out. I’m not sure who would have won a real fight but I was just glad she agreed to chill. She had some kind of restraint. It was probably for Laura's benefit.

  So, that’s why I was knocking on Lindsey and Abby’s door late in the day on a monday. Lindsey had been giving me a hard time at practice for not hanging out as much and Abby just wanted to see me. I got it. It was hard when Lindsey was being a brat. I didn’t want to be around her when she got like that.

  She hadn’t been difficult before. She had strong opinions, sure, but our differences never rose to a level of conflict.

  Especially, since she and Abby started dating.

  There had never been anyone competing for my attention until Laura came along. I’d been informed by Abby that everyone was talking about me and Laura and how we locked ourselves away and left school together every weekend.

  They didn’t get it. We didn’t want to be watched and talked about. Laura and I just wanted to be ourselves. I knew it made her uncomfortable when the girls gossiped about her. I tried to mitigate a lot of it myself. People asked me things in class and talked about it when Laura wasn’t around. Who knows what she heard when she was in classes without me.

  Lindsey opened the door and pulled me inside.

  “Jesus, calm down,” I scolded.

  “Just get in here already,” Lindsey responded.

  Abby came out of the bedroom they shared. The suite had four bedrooms and they were allotted two of them but they never slept in separate rooms unless Abby was mad and banished Lindsey to her room. They had one other roommate, Amanda, who was usually gone since she was in about fifteen academic clubs and had some fancy internship in town.

  “Hey!” Abby came up and hugged me for a little longer than normal and then Lindsey hugged us both from the side.

  “Aww, group hug,” Abby said.

  “Guys, I can’t breathe,” I said.

  “Oh, sorry,” Abby apologized.

  She and Lindsey let me go and I cleared my throat. We didn’t hug like that too often, rarely off the soccer field and even then only when one of us scored.

  “We made snacks and we have smoothies,” Abby said.

  What she meant was that she made snacks while Lindsey whined about not wanting to help until Abby told her to go away.

  She brought a fruit tray with some little no bake oat cookies with raisins. They were something we all loved and when Abby made them they were all gone within ten minutes.

  “So, what’s been going on?” Abby asked.

  “Psh, we know what’s been going on,” Lindsey cut in.

  “Ah, you do?” I asked.

  I knew she was taking a shot at me but I wasn’t going to get pissed. She’d have an excuse to make me fight with her and Abby would be sad.

  “You’ve been hiding with Laura,” Lindsey said.

  “Not hiding, okay… kind of hiding but it’s not why you think. She has a lot of shit she’s dealing with and her best friend just dropped her. Plus, we like getting away. People here are always in your business. Once it's more comfortable it'll be better. You'll see,” I said.

  “I like her,” Abby piped up.

  “Uh huh, but that doesn’t explain why you haven’t been hanging out with us,” Lindsey countered.

  “I we would at least get through the small talk
before you started in on me,” I said.

  She never worried about how much we hung out in the past. When we first met it was constant. We were together almost as much as Laura and I were for a while and then things calmed down. I figured that's how it worked. I needed the space and she found more friends.

  Abby transferred in and then it was the same with them but they never stopped being together all the time. It just naturally developed into more. Now, she had a problem with it.

  “Leave it alone,” Abby said.

  “What? You are just as unhappy as I am that Charli’s been M.I.A. and you were the one that said we should ask,” Lindsey said.

  “No, I said we should make sure she’s okay and that Laura is okay too,” Abby argued.

  “Everyone’s okay!” I shouted.

  They both stopped and stared at me. I never got loud with them. They hadn’t seen me really agitated but ever since Vic I’d been at the end of my rope with people thinking they knew what I wanted and why I was doing things.

  “I like Laura. I’ve been trying to help her and get to know her. That’s what’s been going on. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sorry if you thought I was abandoning you guys. I’m not. We still see each other at lunch and practice. I can have other friends. Things change like that,” I explained.

  “That doesn’t mean you need to ignore the friends you’ve had for years,” Lindsey said.

  She stormed toward the bedroom and I stopped her, grabbing her arm.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll be better about talking to you guys. I swear. Just don’t run away please."

  “Stop throwing a tantrum and come sit down,” Abby added.

  Lindsey relaxed and sighed, shaking her head. “I hate both of you,” she said.

  “I love you too,” I replied, grinning.

  She shook off my hand and pushed me playfully, going back to sit beside Abby.

  “Now, tell me everything that’s been happening that I missed,” I said.

  Abby and Lindsey looked at one another and smiled, then turned back and both started in on the same story about the practical joke war with the sophomores in their building. I tried to focus on what they were saying. I really wanted to be there in the present with them but Laura crept into my mind, always chasing me.

  She was home by herself doing whatever Laura did when she was by herself, probably reading or doing homework. I missed her. I was only across campus but I was used to being near her all the time.

  They were right about one thing. I was head over heels. The way she looked at me and kissed me. That was new. She lit me up and I wanted to be enough for her. Vic had hurt her badly and maybe she wouldn’t get over that.

  I thought I was making it clear that I wanted her but she still questioned. I didn’t want to bring up the night she forgot anymore. I was certain now that it would freak her out. I learned so much more about her over the months.

  “You’re not listening,” Lindsey said.

  I snapped out of my thoughts and frowned.

  “Sorry, what did you say?”

  “Do you want to watch something?” Abby asked.

  “Oh, sure, whatever you guys want to do,” I replied.

  “Or we could play cards,” Lindsey said.

  Abby groaned. Lindsey was really good at poker, it was her secret power or something. Her uncle Tim, who was a gambling addict, had taught her to play when she was little.

  “As long as we play something that you can’t beat us at easily,” I said.

  “Oh! I’ve got Uno somewhere,” Abby said.

  “Fine, fine,” Lindsey acquiesced.

  We ended up playing five hands of Uno and laughing together like we used to. It was great and I think it went a long way to helping repair things between me and Lindsey. They knew I was going to leave before dinner though. I wanted to stop at the room and get Laura. We would find our own little spot and maybe she’d talk to me about what happened.

  “But for real, you’re into Laura, right?” Abby asked.

  It was the first time she’d really asked the question and the first time I didn’t sense any weird motives for being asked.

  I bit the inside of my lip and looked at Lindsey who was busy cleaning up the cards and putting them back in their box.

  “Yeah, I think I love her actually,” I said.

  “Awwww,” Abby cooed.

  “I knew it!” Lindsey cried.

  I rolled my eyes and waited for her to calm down.

  “I mean, it’s cool if she likes you back,” Lindsey covered.

  “Yes, it is. I know she does. She’s so into you. I can tell,” Abby said.

  “Duh,” Lindsey added.

  “Well, we actually went on a date,” I said.

  “No way! Really? Tell us everything?” Abby asked.

  “We went to the movies, got very intimate in the back, ate some popcorn, and her ex-best friend and I got into it on the ride home,” I explained.

  “Holy shit! How? Why?,” Lindsey said.

  “She and Laura have been in a fight and it just escalated. She’s totally in love with Laura and Laura used to, or maybe she still does, feel the same way. I just don’t know. Anyway, she ended up being our Uber driver and things blew up,” I answered.

  “Did she hurt you?” Abby asked.

  “No, not really. I had a few scrapes and bruises but Laura yelled and she eventually agreed to stop,” I said. I'd covered the little scratch marks on my neck with foundation so they hadn't noticed or seen.

  “That’s bullshit. You should press charges or something,” Lindsey said.

  “No way, Laura already feels bad and guilty. That would just make things worse and I wasn’t hurt or anything,” I said.

  “That’s lucky. She sounds crazy,” Abby said.

  “And this is the girl that Laura was into?” Lindsey asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  It felt weird to talk about Laura’s life like this. I had a feeling she wouldn’t like them knowing these things but they were my best friends and I needed some support, maybe even advice on what to do.

  “She’s got shitty taste then,” Lindsey said.

  “Besides you, of course,” Abby offered.

  “Oh yeah, of course,” Lindsey said.

  “I just think Vic doesn’t know how to deal with her shit and she takes it out on Laura. It’s not healthy but I hope things work out okay. I just want her to smile again, you know,” I said. "She's been so down."

  “You’re super sweet and you better tell us more about how you got together,” Abby said.

  “I hope she doesn’t fuck you over,” Lindsey added.

  “She’s won’t!” I defended.

  “Calm down, Cujo. I was just expressing concern for your wellbeing,” Lindsey replied.

  “I know but just be nice to her, okay? I really like her and things are crazy right now. I don’t want to get into it right now. It’s sooo long and complicated, just know that I am head over heels and she makes me happy,” I replied.

  “Fair enough,” Lindsey said quietly.

  Abby got up and went to put the Uno cards away and then came back.

  “It’s six you guys. My sugar is getting low and next thing you know I’ll be hangry,” Abby said.

  “God forbid,” I laughed.

  “You know how she gets,” Lindsey said.

  “I do,” I replied.

  I got up and pulled my hood up over my head.

  “I guess I’ll see you guys later. I better go see if Laura wants dinner,” I said.

  “You’re totally whipped now. It’s kind of funny,” Lindsey teased.

  “Shut up. So are you,” I replied.

  Abby beamed with pride and patted Lindsey on the butt.

  “Damn right,” Abby said.

  We all cracked up and the laughter felt good, like a hug. It was almost as good as the real hugs I gave them both before I left.

  It took me a good ten minutes to walk back down the hill and get to the dorm.
There was a busy road between the honors dorm and the main campus that I had to cross. I couldn’t help but remember the feeling of falling on concrete as I looked down at the road I was walking on. Vic had really screwed with Laura’s head and I hated her for it. I wished she hadn’t existed but then I’d probably have never met Laura.

  Everyone was on their way to the dining hall or the library before it closed. I passed girls I knew and some I didn’t, keeping my head down unless someone actually spoke to me. That only happened a few times. Even Grace and Nadia had gone to dinner before I made it back to the room.

  She was sleeping, curled up in my bed, hugging my pillow. I smiled and closed the door softly, then I went to her. I sat down on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder.

  “Laura, wake up,” I said.

  She turned and saw me, breathing deep and waking. "What's up," she asked, confused.

  “It’s time for dinner,” I said.

  She was so cute. The sleepiness made her look younger and so sweet. My heart swelled thinking about how she’d picked my bed to sleep in even though I wasn’t there. It was more like our bed now.

  "Ug," she croaked. "I dun wanna."

  “I’m sorry. We need food though. I can go if you really don’t want to and bring you back something."

  "No, wait," she said, grabbing my wrist. "I'll get up."

  She'd been so down. Everything with Vic did a number on her.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  I reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of my knuckles.

  Her eyes closed in the touch and I could tell she was feeling me. "Yeah," she said.

  “Okay, you have to stop looking that cute or I’ll lock us in forever."

  Laura smiled and laughed. "Stop being sweet," she warned. "I know I've been crap all week."

  “If by crap you mean hot and broody then sure,” I shrugged.

  "Ug. Don't say that," she asked grumpily. She sat up and reached for a hoodie to pull on. "It's not cute that I suck."

  “You don’t suck. You thinking that you do does suck though,” I said.

  I didn’t want to tell her for the millionth time that it wasn’t her fault. It didn’t do any good. I couldn’t talk her out of internalizing all the bullshit from last week. The only tangible thing I could do was stay with her and remind her that she was wanted.