“One more thing,” he said.
“You’ve said enough,” I ground out.
“That thing about Leo cheating on his wife and Veronica’s plan to take Maisie out of the country? Tessa discovered that. She called me and the PI.”
I turned to him in confusion. “What?”
He nodded. “Apparently she brought Maisie to her visit and that’s when she saw Leo with his hand up the nanny’s dress, and found the passport for Maisie.” He pulled out his phone and opened a picture. “She even had the common sense to snap a picture.”
I looked at the photo of a passport with Maisie’s picture. “Why didn’t she tell me this?”
He looked at me incredulously. “Seriously? With the way you treat her?” He shook his head.
I thought back to the day Maisie went to Veronica’s for the weeklong visit. That was the day I learned Tessa was pregnant. I yelled at her and then hung up. She could have called me back, but I knew I wouldn’t have answered. Jesus, I was a dick.
“You don’t deserve her,” my lawyer said as he stood when the judge appeared.
Hadn’t I said that all along? I stood as well until the judge told us to be seated. I looked over at Veronica who was sitting stoically, but I could see the anger and pain etched on her face. Had she known about Leo? Was she going to stick by him? I wanted to feel bad for her, but then I remembered she’d planned to take Maisie out of the country, and all sympathy dissipated.
“I’ve reviewed the evidence from both sides on their charges. The first that Mr. and Mrs. Hyatt have a marriage of convenience in order to retain custody, and the second that the Baskins sought sole custody to take Maisie out of the country.”
“That’s not true,” Veronica blurted out. Her lawyer turned to quiet her.
“I don’t know how to prove or disprove a marriage is real or not. The social worker’s report didn’t give any indication that there was something off in the marriage. Of course, there was no indication of infidelity on Mr. Baskin’s part, although these photos suggest that’s indeed the case.”
Leo cursed under his breath.
“I don’t care what any of you do in regards to each other. I care about what you do as it impacts what is best for the child, Maisie Hyatt. To that end, the most concerning to me is the possibility of taking her out of the country.”
“Your honor, Mr. and Mrs. Baskin would be well within their rights to do so if you’d granted them sole custody,” Veronica’s lawyer said.
“You’re right, but you’ve been in my court enough to know that the chances of me granting sole custody to the Baskins is nil. Mr. Hyatt has provided a safe, loving home to Maisie since her birth, and as a single father over the last three years since Mrs. Baskin left the family. Up until the last few months, her visits with the child were far and few between.”
The iron tight grip on my heart loosened slightly at the judge’s comments. Veronica wouldn’t be getting sole custody.
“The idea that her mother would remove her indefinitely from her father, the one constant in her life, bothers me.”
Veronica opened her mouth, but her lawyer put his hand on her arm.
“As far as I can see, Mr. Hyatt has always been accommodating to visits with Mrs. Baskin, and yet it doesn’t appear she was going to provide that same accommodation to Mr. Hyatt.”
“We wouldn’t live there all the time—”
“Mrs. Baskin, you need to stay quiet,” the judge said. “It doesn’t matter how long you lived there. It’s not like Mr. Hyatt could have weekend visits if you lived in Europe.”
“I think she’s about to render a decision,” my lawyer murmured next to me. “This could be over today.”
My heart stopped as anticipation filled me.
“I do believe Mrs. Baskin loves her child and could provide a loving, stable home.”
Wait, what?
“But at this time, the child, Maisie Hyatt, will remain in full legal and physical custody of Mr. Hyatt—”
Yes!
“No, your honor—” Veronica cried out.
“With regular visitations with Mrs. Baskin. The Baskins are ordered to surrender the passport they have of Maisie Hyatt, and for six months, visitations will be supervised to ensure there is no attempt to leave the country with her.”
Veronica started to cry.
“In six months, we’ll meet again and can reassess the situation. However, Mrs. Baskin, I suggest you consider amending your request to joint custody. Court is adjourned.” She banged the gavel.
I sat in stunned silence, while around me Leo barked out obscenities, Veronica cried, and my lawyer patted me on the back.
I won. So why did I feel like I’d also lost? Because after all this, the one person who’d believed in me and had stuck by me wasn’t here to share the victory.
I cursed at myself for letting my situation with Tessa get in the way of my victory. This all started by wanting to keep Maisie, and now I had won. That’s what mattered.
“I’ve got to get home.” I shot up from my chair.
“Give your daughter a hug. And fix things with your wife,” my lawyer said.
When I arrived home, I swung Maisie around and held her so tight. I had the same feeling I’d had when she was born. Like I was given a chance to be a better man. To make a difference in my child’s life.
“Daddy, you're crazy.”
I remembered that she hadn’t known her mom and I were in court, so to her, it was just another day.
“I’m just so happy to see you.”
She looked at me but I didn’t see the happiness I’d have liked.
“What’s wrong honey?”
“Tessa came home and then left again. Why won’t she stay with us, Daddy? I miss her.”
“What did she say?” I asked.
“She has to be with her family.”
“Well then, that’s what she has to do,” I said.
“But we’re her family, daddy. Make her come home.”
I closed my eyes as guilt rose. I needed to tell her the truth: that Tessa and I were done. But today, I just wanted to celebrate finally getting what I’d wanted; Maisie would stay with me. That’s all that mattered. If only my heart would agree.
27
Tessa
I lay down to rest, and when I woke, I saw a text from Dylan’s lawyer saying that Dylan had custody for now. We won. I wanted to be happy about that, but it was hard with the weight of everything else hanging over me. I did manage to text Dylan that I’d heard what had happened, and congratulated him. I reminded him of the sonogram appointment, but didn’t say anything about the paperwork his lawyer gave me or that I anticipated he’d divorce me.
The following week, I drove to my appointment thinking about how to proceed with my life. My parents said I could stay with them as long as I needed, and my mother even recommended a doctor in Brooklyn. Finishing graduate school was out until after the baby was born, but I could find work and a place to live near Dylan so that we could share the responsibility of the baby.
I was in the waiting room filling out the paperwork when Dylan entered. My heart swelled and then broke at the sight of him. I wanted so badly to hug him and tell him I loved him, but I knew I couldn’t.
His expression was impassive, which I decided was better than angry.
“Thank you for coming,” I said when he sat next to me.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“No, of course not.” I wanted to ask how he was. How Maisie was. But all the words were lost in my throat.
We were called in to the examination room for the sonogram, which broke the awkward silence. I lay on the bed as the woman performing the test talked us through the procedure.
She squirted some heated gel on my belly and then used a wand to rub over my belly. I cast a glance to Dylan, whose eyes were on the screen.
I looked at the screen too, but couldn’t discern anything.
“Ah … there it is,” the technician said. She point
ed to a fluttering on the screen. “That’s the heartbeat.”
Emotion welled through me like a tidal wave, and I gasped at the power of it. Tears came to my eyes, and I was transfixed. There was a life inside me.
“I’m going to take some measurements so we can see about getting a better idea of how far along you are.”
“Can we hear the heartbeat?” Dylan asked.
I looked to him, wondering if he was feeling all this emotion as I was. I couldn’t read his expression. I decided he’d been through this before, so it probably wasn’t the same. In fact, it might be a burden. With Maisie, he and Veronica had still been in a happy phase of their life. This moment probably didn’t have the same joy and awe as it did for him with Maisie.
I turned back to the screen, not wanting to see his lack of emotion.
“Yes. Here.” She pressed a button, and the steady sound of thumping echoed in the room.
My breath hitched. “Oh God.” Tears ran down my face.
The technician smiled. “That’s your baby.”
I was filled with such awe, and at the same time, sadness. I wished I’d invited my mom to come, because even with Dylan there, I felt so alone.
“It’s beautiful,” I managed.
“Would you like a picture?” the technician asked.
“Yes, please.”
“Can we have two?” Dylan asked.
“Sure.”
When the appointment was over, I didn’t want to leave. I could have stayed watching my baby inside my womb all day.
Dylan walked me outside, but neither of us said anything until we reached my car.
“Where are you living?”
“I’m at my parents’ right now. I’m looking at finding a job and a place to live locally.”
He nodded. “Listen, I was thinking that maybe I could move Corrine and Allison to another property I own, and you can move in next door. It would be easier for me to help you and share custody.”
I wanted to feel happy about this, and yet because it was so far short of what I’d wanted to hear, I couldn’t.
“I don’t know if I can afford the rent on my own.”
He gave me an irritated stare. “You don’t have to pay rent. This is my child, too. I’ll take care of all its needs.”
“I’m not completely inept, Dylan.” Tears sprang to my eyes that he seemed to think I wouldn’t be able to care for my child.
“I never said you were. But I don’t want you to be stressed.”
I didn’t want to get in a fight on the sidewalk in front of the doctor’s office, so I gave the non-committal, “I’ll consider it.”
“I’ll still pay for your schooling too. You held up your end of the arrangement, I will on my end too.”
Gee thanks, I wanted to say. But then my mother’s advice came to me. Instead of focusing on my hurt or responding with snark, I said, “I want to say something to you Dylan. You don’t have to respond, I just want you to know the truth.”
His eyes narrowed, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what I had to say.
“I’m sorry about not telling you about the baby sooner. That was wrong. I was scared at how you might react because you said you didn’t want a real marriage or children. It doesn’t matter, though––I shouldn’t have waited.”
He gave me a curt nod.
“Part of my difficulty was that I loved you—”
He opened his mouth like he was going to object.
“––and I did. I know the marriage was supposed to be fake, and I tried really hard to remember that, but my heart seems to have a mind of its own. I just wanted you to know that. I want this baby to know that when it was created, it happened because I loved you.”
His head jerked back slightly and his expression was a mixture of surprise and confusion.
“Finally, I want you to know that I was on the pill. That wasn’t a lie. I didn’t trick or trap you. It’s important to me that you know that.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I’m glad everything turned out well with Maisie. I really am, Dylan. You probably didn’t need my involvement and had you not asked, we wouldn’t be here. You probably would have preferred that, but while I’m in a bit of shellshock, I wouldn’t have changed anything, including this baby.” I put my hand on my belly.
I opened my car door and got inside. I looked up at him, knowing that if I was going to say everything that was in my heart and I mind, I had one more thing to say. “I wished things had gone differently. I’d have liked to have been a real family with you.”
28
Dylan
I watched Tessa drive off, feeling like I couldn’t breathe although I couldn’t decide why. She’d said she’d loved me before, but I dismissed it. Women often said things to get out of trouble. How many times had my mother said she’d loved me, and then pushed me aside when a new man showed interest? Even Veronica would resort to saying what I wanted to hear when things first started to go bad with us.
But there was something different about the way Tessa said she loved me. There wasn’t a desperation to change my mind or feelings. She was raw and real, and her only goal was to speak her heart and mind. She wasn’t invested in the outcome. It didn’t matter if I believed her or forgave her. She said her piece and left.
I walked to my car, feeling like I should be on top of the world. I retained custody of my daughter and I just saw my unborn child. I hadn’t been to a sonogram with Maisie. At the time, I was working hard to expand my business, and to be honest, the fact of a baby hadn’t seemed real until Veronica started to show. I’d regretted not being more a part of Veronica’s prenatal visits and I wasn’t going to pass it up this time.
With all this good, why did I feel like shit? Of course, I knew why. The question was what to do about it. If I were to believe Tessa, she’d hid her feelings for me because I’d told her our marriage wasn’t real. I’d said I’d never love again. But that was wrong, because the truth was, I did love her. I probably loved her long before I even concocted our fake marriage scheme. The problem was, I was too chicken shit to follow through. As it turned out, Tessa was braver than me because she’d put it all out there.
None of this I could worry about now, though, as I pulled into the driveway. Nothing changed the fact that Maisie was my main focus.
“Daddy!”
Her excitement at seeing me never waned. Whether I’d been a good guy or an asshole that day, it didn’t matter. She was always happy to see me.
“Hey Maisie.” I picked her up. I paid Corrine and then after she left, I carried Maisie to the couch. “I need to talk to you.”
“’Bout what?”
“Well …” How did I tell my kid I knocked Tessa up? “Have you ever thought about having a little brother or sister?”
“Yes. Are you and Tessa having a baby?”
A memory of Maisie asking about a baby when we announced our marriage flashed in my brain.
“Yes.”
“Yay!” Maisie clapped her hands in excitement and then she frowned. “Does that mean Tessa is coming home?”
Okay, this was where things got complicated. “She’s still with her parents. But do you want to see a picture of the baby? We got to see it and listen to the heartbeat today.”
“Yes.” Her head bobbed up and down.
I pulled the sonogram picture from my pocket.
She frowned. “Where is it?”
“This part here is the head,” I said pointing to gray image. “And here are arms and legs.”
“Its head is so big.”
I laughed. “Yes. That’s how they start out. You did, too.”
She laid her head against my shoulder. “I wish Tessa was here.”
“I do too, baby.” As I cradled her head, I realized what I’d just said. I wished Tessa was there. The truth was, she could be here if I had the guts to take the risk.
She kept the baby from you, I reminded myself. Can you blame her? My heart said. You told her you
couldn’t love her. You told her to keep out of your business. You told her you never planned to have more kids.
I realized that it made total sense that she’d be afraid to tell me. That didn’t make it right, but it made sense.
I’d have liked to have been a real family with you.
I’d given up on having a family beyond Maisie, but Tessa had offered me a second chance that I used, abused, and then tossed away. And I’d be a fucking idiot if I didn’t at least try to get a third chance.
“Maisie, what do you say we go get Tessa?”
She sat up. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Yay!”
Twenty minutes later, I had her strapped in the car, my guitar in the trunk, and we were heading to Brooklyn. I had about two hours to figure out how to apologize and convince Tessa that we could be a real family, if she still wanted that. My initial thought was to serenade her. I used to hear her hum along as Maisie and I would sing during Maisie’s baths.
We pulled up in front of a brick attached home on a tree-lined street. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.
“Daddy?” Maisie called from the back.
“Yes, baby?”
“Are we getting out?”
I swallowed all the fear that threatened to have me turn the car around. There was only one female in my life who hadn’t broken my heart, and she was in the backseat, ready, willing, and able to let Tessa be a part of our family.
“Yep.” I got out of the car and helped her to the curb. Then I got my guitar. “Shall we serenade her?”
“What’s that?”
“Sing her a song that tells her how much we love her?”
“Yay!” Maisie jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “What do we sing, Daddy?”
Good question. I scanned my head for apology songs. I thought of Nirvana’s All Apologies. I’d read once that it was about suicide, which wasn’t the best message. Besides, Maisie didn’t know that one, and if I was going to do this, I needed to include Maisie.
So Wrong (Heart 0f Hope Book 3) Page 18