Jesse opens his eyes and stares into the distance and responds to Russell.
“Me either, fuck that shit. After today, I’m permanently scarred for life. I don’t ever want to be a bank teller again. So much pressure from what happened today. Ugh.”
Russell who’s continuing to look away from Jesse, laughs. Russell then starts to devilishly reveal a confession to Jesse.
“I know this is going to sound morbid, but I’d rob a bank before I work in a bank again. I’m being very serious. I would rob a fucking bank, and I’m sure I could do it well.”
Jesse with his head still on Russell’s shoulder, mutters to him.
“You can do whatever you want Russell. You’re an intelligent man, you’re a big strong man, you smell good, you look a little scary looking, in a handsome way though. But fuck it, if you want to rob a bank Russell, I don’t care. I wouldn’t blame you at all after the shit which happened today. I wouldn’t blame you at all. I totally get it.”
Russell continues to stare in the distance, nodding his head at Jesse. Russell continues.
“But I’m not gonna half ass it at all. I would be in the zone about it, and take it very seriously. I would need help of course. I can’t do something like that alone.”
Russell then looks down at Jesse for a while wanting his confirmation and reply. Then Jesse looks up at him, snapping back and feeling disturbed by what Russell said.
“I didn’t say anything about helping you. I just said I feel for you, and I completely get why you would want to do something like that. Never did I once say I would help you out, and join your crusade on this. Russell, I don’t want to talk about this shit okay?”
Jesse while gazing out of the horizon, then starts to develop an angry and bitter look on his face for a bit, still having his head on Russell’s shoulder. Russell then sarcastically responds back to Jesse’s request that the both of them suspend talking about this topic.
“Okay, I won’t bring it up ever again in this lifetime Jesse. I didn’t mean to offend or hurt you, and I won’t talk about it anymore. I apologize, and I won’t mention it.”
Russell then takes his phone out to check the time. It is almost 11 P.M. He had not realized it was that late in the night. He looks down at Jesse who still has his eyes closed resting his head on his shoulder, looking very depressed. Russell looks out into the distance and smiles and chuckles to himself. The both of them continue to sit together at this location completely silent for a few minutes. Russell looks up at the night sky and starts to notice how unusually tan and orange the night sky is. There are some stars that are visible in the sky as well. This area that they are currently in is very quiet, and the environment makes it so that gazing and observing the night sky seems like a beautiful occurrence. Being in the city makes it extremely more difficult to appreciate natural earthly tones such as that. Whereas if you are situated in a more barren location, you can easily notice beautiful happenings like that.
The night air shows a gentle breeze, however there is still a humid vibe towards it as well. Russell feels safe and contempt with himself, and starts to feel guilty. He originally came here to this unknown location to dispose and get rid of Jesse, as he was starting to get irritated and annoyed by his company. Evidentially, the whole agenda backfired in a somewhat positive way, as he is in a calm and mellow mood. Jesse also seems to have gotten his wish, which was to spend more time with Russell. He was able to manipulate and control him into submission and control. Gradually showing great mental stress from not being in Russell’s company. Ordinarily, Russell should have seen right through this, and understood the type of game Jesse was trying to play and convey. Due to the fact Russell himself also deals with mental issues, he is unable to deduce this and falls victim to unprecedented traps and digs himself into trouble.
Russell then started to investigate the outside area of this defunct department store himself and Jesse were at. It was indeed scary looking if you were there by yourself. But if you were with someone you trusted or loved or cared about, it would be an interesting spot to possibly make the sky the limit, and to look at it in a different perspective and shade. On the right of the store faces the highway that Russell got out off, surrounded by shady bushes, and tall evergreen trees. This area was located only about fifteen or so minutes away from the downtown Los Angeles area, but it seemed as though it was settled in a deep dark isolated forest area. Russell then saw how the windows and doors of the department store were covered and patched with wooden boards.
The delivery truck dock area himself and Jesse were sitting on, in which trucks can attach their trailers delivering goods to the store, were as well slammed with wooden boards and covered. There were however about twenty or so shopping carts that were pushed to the wall behind this area they were in. Russell stood himself off of the ramp, and continued to stare at the shopping carts with his hands in his pocket. Finally hatching an idea and thought inside his mind. He then started to offer Jesse a suggestion.
“There are some shopping carts over there. This lot is pretty large, and I just thought it would be fun if you sat in one of those carts and I pushed you around. I won’t take no for an answer. Don’t act like you don’t want to do it. Come on.”
Jesse then got off the ramp and stood up. He then started to look behind them, glancing towards the shopping carts with a puzzled look on his face.
“Well, alright. But if this is a trick for you to hurt or harm me… ugh. I’ll play along, this sounds so ignorant, yet fun at the same time. Yeah, let’s do it.”
Russell while staring at Jesse, smiles and laughs at him.
“I don’t know; it just might be a trick; I am psycho after all right? So you never know.”
The both of them walk towards the shopping carts and Jesse arrives towards them first. He sits in one with his legs crossed, and his arms hanging holding onto the sides of the cart. Russell then removes his suit jacket and sets it down on the ramp area that they were sitting on. Immediately after that, he proceeds to push the cart that Jesse is sitting in all over the parking lot. While he’s moving the cart, Jesse starts laughing. Russell is grinning heavily and enjoying the moment, pushing the cart with great speed and strength. It is almost as if he is using the shopping cart as a race car, and they are on a track.
Russell roughly and rapidly pushes the cart through the ground; swaying and turning the cart. Getting some sort of inspiration that it could also be an amusement ride as well. Jesse continues to laugh and giggle, and be amused by this activity they are doing. He trusts Russell completely, despite the fact this is perceived to be dangerous and hazardous stunt they are pulling, he seems to not care at all. Jesse wants to relish this moment and be completely engulfed in the magic of it. Russell decides to add humor to the situation, while obviously becoming lethargic and breathing his words out.
“…I’m gonna pretend this is “NASCAR” and I’m Jeff Gordon and you’re the car. We’re cruising through the circuit, we’re gonna set a world record. Here comes the checkered flag, making another sharp turn. If we keep this speed up, we’ll make it. We did it. World Record!”
Russell stops pushing the cart due to him being exhausted and puts his hands behind his back to rest and stretch himself. Jesse while sitting in the cart, starts to clap and whistle, and pretends to make crowd cheering noise like they were at a racetrack. Russell continues to catch his breath for a bit, with Jesse remaining in the cart. Jesse starts to get out of the cart, but Russell quickly lifts him out of it. They both then sit down at the ramp area they were at before. Russell then puts his suit jacket back on. While sitting in silence for a minute, Russell is still feeling winded from pushing the cart. Jesse turns to look at Russell who is looking around the lot, laughing at him with a smile on his face. Jesse was able to have fun and experience that random bout of happiness by riding in the cart. Russell although feeling tired, seemed very happy to be silly with Jesse. The both of them developed more connection over that, and it really shifted the mood th
at they were in. Jesse then starts to talk to Russell.
“I can’t remember the last time I’ve done some wacky shit like that, it’s been a while. Thank you so much for that, that was so much fun. I remember when I was like ten years old or so, me and some of the bay bay kids that lived in my block, we would take trash cans and use them as go karts and take them down hills.”
Russell laughs at Jesse and they both stare out into the distance, and look at their surroundings. Russell then starts to explain similar antics he has done.
“Man, I was most likely in Junior High School I believe, but as I said I lived in Wisconsin, so it would snow like fuck over there. I remember the teachers at my school were really mean as hell, so we would build snow forts in the school parking lot, and take sleds and do ski jumping over the teacher’s cars. Yeah, that was some pretty crazy stuff.”
Jesse begins to wonder about how crazy Russell actually is, and how he comes up with these ideas he has. He wouldn’t never think that Russell would suggest something as unusual as that, but he is happy that he did. Jesse asks Russell a question based on that.
“About the shopping cart thing, that was so random and I wasn’t expecting that. I’m just kinda curious. I used to watch “Jackass” on MTV a lot, and they would play around with shopping carts. You didn’t have that in mind did you? I think you did?
Russell continues to look out from Jesse, and waits a while before he gives his response. He starts to laugh and smile for a bit, then responds to Jesse.
“I did watch Jackass yes, but no I didn’t get the idea from that. I have a creative mind, and I am able to think of spontaneous things such as that. I like pranks, and I like foolishness sometimes. I think most people do as well, they are just too ashamed to admit I think.”
Jesse laughs at Russell and they both look around the area. The fact they are both reminiscing about their youth, brings a lot of joy towards this originally deep situation. Unbeknownst to Jesse, Russell has a very untraditional, unconventional, and unpredictable imagination like that. It is not uncommon at all for Russell to come up with silly and inane ideas as he did, such as pushing Jesse in the shopping cart. Jesse as well seems to be his perfect candidate or partner for that, by being a willing participant. Not feeling scared or apprehensive from the mysterious actions that Russell exhibits towards him. Russell begins to profile the defunct department store, and wanting Jesse’s opinion on his current thoughts.
“What do you think this store was? Possibly a “Kmart”. A lot of “Kmart” stores went bankrupt and out of business here in California, and that’s what this possibly is. Probably because this lot is out in a destitute area, is why another store hasn’t resurfaced here. I just have a feeling that this used to be a “Kmart”, and it makes sense to me.”
Jesse also starts to gaze at the store, and examining it before responding to him.
“I can see why you would think that. I’m gonna agree with you. You seem like the kind of person that would know about that type of stuff. So I’ll take your word Russell.”
Russell then pulls out his phone again, and checks the time. Taking note as to how late it is, he puts his phone back in his pocket, and gets up from the ramp. He turns to look at Jesse, being very direct with him.
“Ah, it’s getting really late, and I’m so tired. I think we’ve had more than enough fun tonight, so let’s get going. Now if you want to stay, you can stay, I don’t care. But I’m really gonna leave you this time. So if you want to come with me, I’m leaving now.”
Jesse then looks at Russell and nods his head. He gets up from the ramp and walks with Russell back to his car. Jesse started to refresh all the shenanigans that they did in this abandoned lot. Understanding that Russell intended to actually reject him here at this location, they bonded more than they didn’t really anticipate for. Jesse would never in a million years ever imagine that Russell would act the way he did. Being thankful for all the glory that was brought onto him. Still knowing that Russell being the mysterious person that he is, anything could happen.
As Jesse was walking back to Russell’s car, he could only be in complete suspense over what is to come of their relationship next. Jesse isn’t completely sure that this is leading to romance or not, or if Russell is alternatively simply being kind due to some other measures. Russell is not the type of man that is typically like that. He is a difficult person to study and to research on, especially when it comes to his emotions and personal relationships. Jesse for one last time gazes around this area they were in, and looks up at the night sky.
Russell as well for one final time takes note of this abandoned setting. He and Jesse both reach his car, and he unlocks the door. After getting into the car, they both sit in the vehicle for a couple minutes staring out of the windshield into the lot, in complete silence of each other. This silence isn’t one of any negativity, but one of feeling safe and close towards each other’s positions. Soon enough, Jesse peeks over at Russell and smiles at him. Russell also looks at Jesse and also grins at him. A few moments later, Russell starts the engine of his car, turns the car stereo on, and drives out of the deserted lot.
Russell continues to drive down the highway, headed towards his apartment in downtown Los Angeles. He did allow Jesse to sleepover, to which Jesse is very excited and anxious over that. Both of the men continue to stay quiet. Slowly but surely, it subconsciously feels like they are forgetting that the robbery that took place earlier, and that it didn’t even exist. It’s funny how the human mind can go into a temperamental escape zone such as that. Finding different coping methods to deal with trauma. Russell does that quite often when he is faced with events in his life that he isn’t happy with. Attempting to find the bright side of a dull event, and being content with the results. Russell and Jesse continue to stay silent, but both of them are still thinking of plenty.
Russell in particular is most likely still doubting himself and unsure of the relationship that he’s forming with Jesse. Wondering if he’s being tricked by some type of voodoo or magic that Jesse is spraying onto him. Russell originally did not feel this type of way around him, now he seems to be captivated and attached to his energy. Jesse can also say the same, being somewhat attracted to the unpredictability that Russell continually puts out. Thinking to himself, he has Russell right where he wants him, in total control and showing some type of forced sympathy or empathy to him. Perhaps Russell feels sorry for Jesse which could explain his actions he’s showing and displaying around him.
Russell continues to drive on the highway, continuing on their way towards his residence. Russell for curiosity reasons glances over at Jesse, who notices that he has started to close his eyes and lay his head back on the seat. He continues to drive before looking at Jesse again, and starts to feel concerned. Russell smiles and laughs to himself for a bit, and lowers the volume on the radio. He starts to talk to Jesse.
“Hey, are you alright? Are you tired? Are you sleepy? You seem kinda tired to me and I was just making sure that you are okay.”
Jesse immediately opens his eyes and sits up in the seat. He looks directly at Russell and tilts his head at him. Right after he laughs at him, and turn his head forward. Jesse reaches for the stereo to turn the volume up, but before he does, turns his head and talks to Russell.
“No I’m not sleepy, I was just putting my head back in the seat. I’m fine.”
Jesse then proceeds to turn the music on the radio up, and lays back in his seat again. Jesse then closes his eyes once more, relaxing. Looking at the way Jesse is behaving, it causes Russell to laugh. He for some reason finds it funny when Jesse shows an attitude towards him. He might not always like it, or be comfortable with it, but he does find it amusing. He continues to drive down the highway, having minor flashbacks of all the events that happened today. This day will be a very monumental one in his life, and one that he will always remember and play a major part from this point forward. Understanding all the twists and turns which happened, and all the problems he was f
aced with. The deaths of Jennifer and Peter are also flashing themselves in his memory. Harboring every single dramatic detail of the robbery that happened, just having to accept the emotional scars which come with the territory.
He and Jesse both are dealing with it the best way they can. He quickly is able to think about how the evening turned completely around. His new unprecedented bond with Jesse seems to mask most of it, and acts as a tool to make it easier to move on from the terrible memories. Becoming a changed man, and altering his mood and personality.
As Russell was approaching his residence, he began to glance at Jesse more and more, who looked as if he were asleep. In some ways, Russell was happy that Jesse was finally being obedient. Even though he had to basically pamper him in many ways this past evening in order for that to happen. It seems as though he has found some type of work around, to give into Jesse’s behavior. He doesn’t know how long he can keep this up for, as he doesn’t wish or intend to be that nice to him and for Jesse to get too comfortable. That’s all a part of the complexity of Russell’s mind and how he operates. This will cause a butterfly effect for Jesse, as he will only try to manipulate Russell more into giving into him, and agreeing with his needs and wants.
Russell continues to drive down the highway, still thinking and contemplating over several things in his head. Jesse soon opens his eyes and sits up and looks out the window. Peeking at Russell, who has his eyes directed at the road. Jesse thinks about asking Russell a question, and turns his head towards him and is about to open his mouth, but then suddenly changes his mind. He leans his head back in the seat and shuts his eyes. Russell noticed Jesse attempt to talk to him as well, and is now curious as to what he wanted. The fact Jesse went back into his relaxed state makes Russell even more doubtful and curious as to what Jesse had on his mind. Russell continues to drive, until he reaches the highway exit, leading onto the surface streets. Russell continues to cruise the downtown Los Angeles area creeping up close to Midnight. Which it being the weekend, the streets are still booming with action. There are many nightclubs and bars still in operation, and still people walking around the sidewalk enjoying the nightlife. Los Angeles in many senses is a city that never sleeps, and it’s always action packed. It’s very customary to witness activity late in the night, and these types of occurrences happen.
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained Page 12