Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

by Brennen Tammons

  Russell reaches a stoplight and takes a look at Jesse who is now again opening his eyes, and sitting himself up in the seat. Jesse scans the area and perceives that he’s no longer on the highway, and getting closer to Russell’s apartment. Jesse gazes at Russell for a couple seconds, then sits back in the seat with his arms crossed. While Russell is stopped at a red light, Jesse looks concerned over something. This time attempting to talk to Russell yet again. He lowers the volume of the stereo and turns his head to Russell’s direction, and talks to him.

  “Russell, I again want to say thanks for everything. I really mean it. This really does feel like the weirdest dream I ever had, but I’m happy I’m spending this time with you. Thank you for everything that you’ve done, and I’m so happy and blessed to be with you.”

  While he is still stopped at the light, Russell turns his head and smiles at Jesse. He then whispers to him in a soft tone, while running his fingers though Jesse’s hair.

  “You don’t have to thank me. You don’t have to do anything right now. All I want for you to do is be comfortable, and to feel safe. Everything is fine.”

  Jesse then smiles back at Russell, and turns the music on the radio up again. He then sits back in his seat shutting his eyes. Following this, the signal changes. Russell continues to drive down the road. Within a few minutes later, Russell approaches the parking lot of his apartment complex. Before entering the parking structure, he looks over and notices again Jesse has his eyes closed and is leaning back in the seat. Russell taps Jesse on the shoulder to get his attention. He then explains to him that they are going to be exiting the vehicle momentarily.

  “My place is on the eighth floor of this building. You see that elevator there? We’re gonna take that, and it’s going to bring you up to my unit.”

  Jesse nods his head, and starts to pick up his tote bag from the ground and sets it on his lap. Russell then parks in his assigned parking lot, and proceeds to park and turn the engine off. He unlocks the car doors, and the both of them exit the vehicle. Russell after locking his car, forgot that he left his briefcase inside. After he retrieves he’s briefcase, he locks his car again putting his keys in his pocket. Jesse then starts to follow Russell towards the elevator, standing directly behind him. After Russell hits the elevator button, he takes his phone out and checks some sports scores.

  Jesse is both trembling with excitement, yet also feeling very anxious that he is going inside Russell’s apartment. The elevators doors open, and Russell sticks his arm out, alerting Jesse that go in before him. While in the elevator, Russell keeps his head focused down towards the floor shaking his head, looking exhausted. Jesse continues to gaze and leer at him, being fascinated by him. The elevator then stops on the eighth floor, and once again Russell directs his arm out for Jesse to proceed. As they are walking through the hallways, Russell pulls out his phone yet again, and continues to browse through sports scores. While still looking at down at his phone, he speaks to Jesse.

  “I’m in unit 822. It’s further down. We’re gonna make another turn to another hallway. It’s quite a long way from the elevator which I hate, but I get used to it.”

  Jesse nods his head in agreement and continues to walk with Russell. Within a few moments, they finally reach Russell’s apartment. Russell goes through his pocket and retrieves his keys again. He unlocks and opens his door and turns the lights in the living room on.

  Upon walking into his apartment, Jesse starts to diagnose all the contents located inside. Looking inside his living room, Jesse notices that Russell has a pretty large fish aquarium, in which he is able to quickly figure out the type of fish inside.

  “Those are clownfish right? They are so beautiful and pretty. Wow.”

  Russell after closing the door, nods towards Jesse, and takes his suit jacket off. He folds it up and places it on the back of the sofa. Jesse continues to observe many different things in Russell’s apartment. Another thing that captivates him is the sports memorabilia that are hung on up on the walls. Russell has many framed sports jerseys, which captives Jesse very much. He seems to find them very fascinating, and begins to talk to Russell about it.

  “I see some NFL stuff. I see a John Elway Bronco’s jersey. I see Brett Favre Green Bay Packers jersey as well. I see some basketball stuff as well. I see a Magic Johnson and Kobe Bryant jersey too. I didn’t know you were a Laker fan. You have a Michael Jordan Bulls jersey as well. You’re a baseball fan too; That’s a Babe Ruth jersey. I see an autographed hockey jersey as well. Russell, I’m not that familiar with hockey can you explain that one for me?”

  Russell sets his briefcase down on the coffee table of his living room, and while looking at the jersey, answers Jesse’s question concerning that particular one.

  “Um, yes that’s Gordie Howe. He passed away recently. I remember I had to probably been like six years old. My grandparents took me to go see him. That jersey I actually bought off eBay. I barely won the bid as a matter of fact. Yeah... that’s the story behind that.”

  Russell then notices the frame is askew, and starts to straighten it out. Jesse continues to walk around his apartment, mentioning anything he deems noteworthy. He then notices an Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroe art piece.

  “I really like this. I know that’s Andy Warhol right? You like Marilyn Monroe too?”

  Russell returns from the kitchen with two cans of Bud Light, handing Jesse one of them.

  “I love Marilyn Monroe, yes. I like Andy Warhol’s creativity. This I also barely snagged of eBay, and I’m so happy that I did. I really wanted it and had to have it.”

  Russell then walks towards his kitchen, as Jesse continues to look around Russell’s apartment for a bit being very enthralled by what he picks up, then deciding to take a seat down on the sofa in the living room. Jesse then opens the beer Russell gave him, taking a few sips. As he’s returning to the living room with bowl of potato chips, Russell sets them down on table in front of the sofa. Jesse eats a few of the chips. Russell stands next to the sofa, and starts to drink his beer. While still standing, he turns the big screen television set in his living room on. SportsCenter on ESPN is showing with Russell watching it, but the volume is on mute. Russell then takes his phone out of his pocket, and charges it in an electrical socket by the television. Jesse also notices that Russell has a PlayStation 4 console under the television set. After charging his phone, Russell then takes a seat on the sofa next to Jesse. He then proceeds to watch the television. Jesse is not at all interested in what Russell is watching, despite the fact Russell is enjoying looking at his program.

  Minutes pass by, and they continue to stay silent as they both watch the muted television program. Russell continues to drink his beer, and Jesse does the same. At this point, Jesse is feeling nervous to ask Russell anything being that he is a guest. It seems as though Russell is going about his usual business and routine, as if Jesse weren’t even in the room with him. Jesse eats some more of the potato chips, while looking at Russell. Jesse then can’t take the silence anymore. Feeling bored, he tries to talks to Russell who has his eyes locked the television.

  “So, you like watching this show huh? Why do you have it on mute like that, you can’t hear what they are saying? I don’t understand, that seems stupid to me.”

  Russell ignores Jesse’s commentary, and continues to watch the television screen. Jesse who is now starting to feel like he’s being ignored, is craving for attention. He lays his head on Russell’s shoulder. Russell then in that moment shoves him off.

  “I’m trying to watch my show, knock that shit off.”

  Jesse being ultimately upset at being ignored and being shunned by Russell, once again rests his head on Russell’s shoulder, in addition he also starts to rub his hands across Russell’s face. Russell this time doesn’t brush him away, and continues to watch his program on the television and not paying Jesse any attention. Jesse takes even more risks in this current situation, and starts to rub his hand across Russell’s chest. Russell however does
n’t react at all to this and continues to ignore him. Jesse stops touching Russell, and finishes drinking his beer. Jesse sets his empty can down on the coffee table. He then eats a few more potato chips. After the television program goes to commercial break, Jesse gets up and walks behind the sofa where Russell is seated. He starts to massage Russell on the neck. This causes Russell to snap at Jesse again.

  “I said to knock that off. I didn’t tell you to do that. So knock it off.”

  Jesse walks back around the sofa, and sits down, staring at Russell very angrily. He then fires back at Russell.

  “I’m sorry, If I want to touch you, I’m going to touch you. You’re just going to have to understand that and get used to that. I always get what I want.”

  Jesse then takes the television remote that was on the table, and turns the television set off. Jesse then walks towards the other side of the living room, as Russell gets up after him.

  “I don’t find that funny. Give me the remote back now.”

  Jesse continues to tease Russell by running across the living room with the remote control. Russell feeling extremely agitated chases him until Jesse opens his bedroom door and runs in there. Jesse lays on top of Russell’s large bed, still hanging onto the remote. Russell who’s now starting to lose it, follows him in there, and turns on the light. While Russell is standing on the side of his bed, he tries to snag and grab the remote from Jesse who won’t let it go. Jesse then starts to make a deal with Russell.

  “I’ll give you the remote, if you give me a kiss, and tuck me into bed. All you have to do is give me a kiss, that’s all. I’ll go straight to sleep and won’t make any noise. You can go back to watching your television show, and I won’t bother you at all. Is that a deal?”

  Russell then starts to smile and laugh, and nods his head. Shortly after that, Jesse gives Russell the remote control, and Russell leans his head in and passionately kisses Jesse for almost ten seconds. Russell still smiling tucks Jesse into bed and covers him up, giving him another peck on his cheek. Jesse smiles back at Russell as he turns the lights in his bedroom off, and closes the door behind him going into the living room. Jesse falls asleep a couple minutes later.

  Chapter 6

  NOTHING NEW, NOTHING USED

  The morning sun gleaming through the curtains in Russell’s bedroom, wakes Jesse. He struggles to open his eyes, yet finally accomplishes to. He looks around and peeks out the bedroom window. He notices that it is now daylight, and is curious as to what time it is. Jesse notices that Russell has a balcony connected to the bedroom window. He also takes note that Russell is not lying in the bed with him. Although Russell must have come back into the room at some point while he was resting, as Jesse is well aware than when he went to sleep, the curtains in the bedroom were shut. Still present in bed, Jesse turns his head and takes a peek at the alarm clock located on the nightstand. It is showing that it’s 11 A.M. Jesse decides to remain in bed and closes his eyes again, with the blanket covering his head so the light from the sun doesn’t disturb him. Jesse feeling still sluggish, starts to think about everything which happened the evening before and leading to Russell kissing him before he drifted off to sleep. Understanding that it was most likely not a dream, and having to be comfortable that he actually kissed Russell, although out of force and coercion to do so. Feeling very anxious and scared to get out of bed and face Russell now, wondering if he’s upset or disappointed at him. Twenty minutes later the door to the bedroom opens. Even though Jesse heard he door open, he persistently remained motionless in bed. Russell comes into the room carrying a brown paper bag and two Styrofoam cups. He is wearing a red “USC” sweatshirt hoodie, and black Adidas sweatpants, he also has some sneakers on. He notices that Jesse is tucked away in the bed, and assumes he is asleep. He very delicately walks over to him without making much noise. He shakes him over the covers and and precedes to shout at him.

  “Get the hell up, it’s time to get up. This is isn’t Motel 6, it’s time to get up Jesse.”

  Jesse removes the covers and rises himself up from the bed, with his eyes still closed waking himself up. He is still wearing the same outfit he wore the day before. A few seconds later, he manages while still sitting on the side of the bed, to open his eyes completely and look at Russell who who’s laughing at him. Russell then proceeds to walk out of the bedroom mentioning something to Jesse. While waving the paper bag and cups in the air.

  “I went and got you something for breakfast, and some coffee. You drink coffee right? Well, anyways, it’s time to get up, and if you want something to eat I got something for you.”

  Jesse who was looking out of Russell’s bedroom window the entire time he was talking, turns his head towards Russell who is still standing in the doorway to ask him a request.

  “Do you have something that I can change into? I’ve been in these clothes for two days now, and just ugh. I appreciate it if you do. I also noticed your USC jacket, you went there? I did too, but I dropped out. I didn’t know what to study, so I dropped out.”

  Russell raises his eyebrows, then walks into the living room setting the coffee and bags of food hand on the living room table. As he reenters the bedroom, he slides open his closet doors, revealing his extensive collection of attire of all types and themes. Jesse decides to be nosy and take note of the articles of clothing in the closet. Russell has over fifteen different types of suits with different patterns. Across his closet door are also at least a hundred different neck ties. Russell starts to pick up different things in his closet with a serious look on his face.

  “You attended USC too? Very interesting. Yeah that’s the school I graduated from. Hmm, I think I might have something in here for you. You’re being kinda prissy for whatever reason, but I’ll never mind that. You’re a lot smaller than me, so I don’t want to give you something that isn’t going to fit you.”

  Jesse then gets up from Russell’s bed and crosses his arms standing behind Russell sifting through his closet. He responds to Russell feeling very angry.

  “Russell, just give whatever you have that you can lend or borrow for me to wear. Is that too much to ask? If I knew it was going to be this difficult, I would have never asked you, and frankly just would have kept these clothes on really.”

  Russell ignoring Jesse, continues to goes through the items in his closet. When a couple minutes pass with Russell rummaging through clothes, Jesse sees something that catches his eye, and something he would be fine wearing. He walks over to Russell’s closet, and grabs a white artistic graphic T shirt that has Abraham Lincoln with sunglasses on it.

  “I’ll just take this Russell. I’ll keep my bottoms on, none of your pants will fit me.”

  When Jesse goes to the bathroom to undress and freshen himself up, Russell proceeds to close his closet doors, and walk into the living room. He immediately directs himself to his kitchen to grab to plates, and returns to the living room setting the plates down. Russell begins taking the contents of the brown paper bag out. Inside the bag are ham and cheese bagel sandwiches, which he had gotten at a donut shop he likes not far from his apartment. He then turns his television set on and turns to a college basketball game and sits on the sofa. Russell then starts to eat one of the bagel sandwiches. A couple minutes pass, and Jesse comes out of the bathroom. He folds his discarded clothes, and puts them next to this tote bag sitting under the coffee table. Right after that, he sits down next to Russell. Jesse takes a look at the food on the table and begins to take a few bites of it, seeming to enjoy it.

  “This is nice, I haven’t had a ham and cheese bagel in quite some time.”

  Russell while looking at the television screen also eating, smiles at him.

  “Yeah, I figured you like it. I was just very hungry and I figured it would be rude as hell if while I was out, I didn’t get you something either. Their coffee is good too.”

  Jesse scrunches his face at Russell, and picks the starts to drink the coffee.

  “Russell I don’t really drink cof
fee. I mean I do, but I don’t. But this tastes good to me.”

  The both of them eat their breakfast, and Russell continues to chat with Jesse.

  “Man, you are a strong sleeper. I slept here on the couch because I didn’t want to bother you, and were not lovers. If I would have slept with you, that would have presented the wrong idea. I know we kissed last night, but I just did that because I was little buzzed from that beer I drunk, and you would have continued to be a whiny bitch if I didn’t give in, so congratulations. But I woke up at 9 and saw you were still deep asleep, so I left you alone.”

  Russell takes another bite of the bagel sandwich, still paying attention to the basketball game on the television, and continues to talk to Jesse.

  “I was just playing around and enabling you. So just pretend that never happened okay? We’re just friends if you want to call it that.”

  Jesse then starts to feel anxious again and scared, and wants to reply to Russell about the kiss they had. He takes a couple swallows of the coffee and turns to Russell, yet decides to bring up an unrelated issue instead, before talking about it.

  “You’re watching basketball, that’s cool I guess.”

  Russell while still keeping his head towards the screen responds to Jesse.

  “Of course I’m watching College Basketball. It’s Saturday and that’s all I really watch is sports on Saturday. It better be cool, it’s my house and I can watch what I want, thank you.”