Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

by Brennen Tammons

  Max then leaves out of the unit, and Brian walks over to close and lock the door. Russell then walks over to the coffee table near the sofa area, and pours himself another shot.

  “I…, I forgot what I was going to fucking say. I’m done. Kev is dead, and I don’t see the point of living anymore you guys. Everybody close to me is fucking dying. This is bullshit, and today was supposed to be a happy day, where we all celebrate our final heist. There is nothing to fucking celebrate. Kev is gone, and he’s not coming back. That’s the fucked up part. Ugh.”

  Russell starts to feel depressed over the death of Kevin, more than we was already. He is beginning to miss his best friend, and feels partly guilty of his death. He feels if he didn’t allow Kevin to use the tools in the heist, he might possibly still be here. Russell starts to feel bad for allowing the guys to split and merge away from each other, during the heist as well. So many events running through his head, that he feels shouldn’t have gone the way they have. Russell is in some type of depressive vortex right now. Kevin isn’t present to act as the comic relief in the group. Russell is unware as to how to proceed, and how to keep going through all of this. The rest of the men feel just as depressed as Russell does, though they are trying their best to deal with the pain in different methods. Brian watches as Russell stays in his depressive mood, walking around the unit. Jesse is currently crying, and understands the sorrow Russell is having. Victor has a sudden mood swing, and starts to pour himself several glasses of liquor. Russell then returns to the sofa area, and sits down. He then takes his phone out and goes through it.

  “I think I have an old picture of me and Kev from years ago. We were at this party, and Kev took it, and he texted it to me, and something told me to save it. I know it’s in here somewhere. Damn. I just have to accept Kev is gone, and deal with it. Damn.”

  Jesse wanting to console Russell, walks over and sits the sofa; resting his head on Russell’s shoulder. Russell then shoves Jesse off him, and violently snaps back, causing Jesse to walk away from him in fear.

  “Get your fucking hands off me Jesse. Get the fuck off me. Don’t fucking touch me. Nobody fucking touch me right now. I’m not in the fucking mood right now. Do not touch me. I don’t mean to be like that, but don’t be feeling on me like that right now. Step off.”

  Russell continues to go through his phone to find the picture. A couple minutes later, he is able to locate the picture, and lifts up his phone to show it to the rest of the guys.

  “Oh man, I can’t believe I still have this picture. This was me and Kev from ages ago at a university party. Kev took this picture, and I don’t know why, but I kept it after all these years. I remember this party too; it was pretty bad. What’s funny is I think we crashed this party, and we weren’t even supposed to be there. Damn. Fuck, I’m going to really miss Kev.”

  Jesse who’s now laying on top of Brian’s bed, speaks to the rest of the guys.

  “Kevin was a funny guy. It’s not going to be the same without him. I’m remembering all the good times I’ve had with him. I’ve not been able to get to know him as long as Russell has, but he was a bundle of joy. He will be missed, and it’s tough dealing with the fact he’s gone.”

  Brian then pours himself another drink, and responds to Jesse.

  “Yeah, he was a funny guy. Ha-ha. I can’t relate to the level Russell has with him, but from the time I did spend with him, I do miss him. I remember all the jokes he used to say and shit. It’s fucking crazy how he’s not here anymore. This group is now incomplete, and it’s not going to be the same, it’s not. He was our friend, and he’s gone now.”

  Victor starts to panic and feel uncomfortable. The way he deals with traumatic events is quite different from the rest of the men. Russell approaches things originally with a violent outburst and tantrum, and slow begins to accept the way things are. Brian uses an optimistic approach. He starts to see the good in the situation, and wishes to stay quiet on his emotions. Jesse turns to a more observant approach, taking in as much information he can towards the traumatic event, and in his own time settling himself towards his reactions.

  Victor however, has a strange combination of all of the above. He at times can have a violent approach towards the way he handles himself, at the same time refusing to fully express himself. Victor remembers the strange relationship he had with Kevin, and how Kevin originally made fun of him and bullied him. Victor pours himself several drinks and remains quiet. Russell while still staring at the picture of Kevin and himself on the phone, continues to reminisce about his memories of Kevin.

  “Kev always said things that I was scared of saying. That’s what I liked about him. He had no filter on him, at all. Whatever was on his mind, he would say. He was such a fucking chatterbox though. He would not stop talking at all. Sometimes I wouldn’t even know what the fuck he was saying, I would just nod my head and say ‘you’re right Kev’. Ha-ha. Damn.”

  Russell continues to stare at the picture, and starts to smile. Victor who’s sitting on the other side of the sofa, then starts to feel anxious and apprehensive. He starts to scratch himself very vigorously, and screams to the top of his lungs loudly. Victor makes himself several drinks, one after the other. Brian watches Victor continue to pour himself multiple drinks, and he walks over to the area and snatches the bottle away from him. Brian then scolds Victor.

  “Alright, you’ve had enough man. Slow down. Take it easy alright? I saw you pour like ten fucking drinks man. I don’t know how well you handle liquor. Hell, I really don’t know you period. Ha-ha. Slow down okay? This is a tough time for all of us, I understand. But you’ve had enough man. No more drinks for you. Chill out, alright?”

  Victor gives an angry look towards Brian, and flips him off. He then runs over to the kitchen area, and goes through his toiletry bag. Victor pulls out of can of black shoe polish, and rubs nearly the entire contents of it over his forehead, cheeks, nose and chin. Immediately after that, just as like Russell did, Victor runs over to Brian’s work station and begins to throw Brian’s tools over the place. Russell and Jesse watch Victor, and start to feel concerned and worried by his actions. Unlike with Russell, who Brian understood was going through emotional turmoil; Brian felt unsure of Victor, and feels he’s playing some type of mind trick or game with the other guys, that could lead to ugly effects. Because of his unpredictable mood swings, Brian knows exactly what Victor is capable of.

  Victor goes through one of Brian’s tool bags, and pours an entire bottle of transmission fluid on the floor. He then starts to take Brian’s automotive tools, and throws them against the wall. Victor continues to lash out his rage, and throws more of the tools at the wall. Victor then takes his fist, and punches the wall very hard, which forms a big hole. The rest of the men stare at him in shock, not knowing how to react to the way he’s behaving. Brian starts to become angry, and shouts at him.

  “Hey, what the fuck?! Are you fucking serious right now?! Dude?!”

  Victor walks away from the workstation before Brian gets there, and Victor then walks into the kitchen area, pulling out a large butcher knife from the drawer. Victor then takes the knife, and swipes his forearm with it, expelling a large amount of blood. Russell and Brian then immediately run over to Victor, confiscate the knife, and pin him to the ground. While Russell and Brian have him tackled to the floor, Victor then starts to scream at the both of them.

  “Get off me, get off me. Why are you guys doing this to me? Get off me.”

  Russell and Brian continue to restrain Victor to the floor, and Jesse who’s watching the three of them, starts to cry and feel scared. Brian then responds to Victor.

  “Victor, you are drunk, crazy, insane, psycho and out of control. You doing all of that, isn’t helping us right now. Victor, me and Russell are going to let you go, but you have to calm down man. I know you’re upset, everybody in this fucking building is upset man, but you gotta calm down. What you’re doing right now is going to get us all in trouble, especially you.”


  Russell and Brian then lift Victor up, and direct him to the sofa area. Victor then sits down and starts to laugh to himself. Victor’s arm is bleeding heavily. Brian pours rubbing alcohol on his arm, and gives Victor a warm towel to cover it. Brian then speaks to him.

  “Damn, I don’t know why the fuck you did that man. What was the point of that? You’re only making things difficult and worse for all of us Victor. Damn.”

  Victor presses the towel over his arm, and continues to laugh. He then starts to speak.

  “I remember Kevin used to always call me the scarecrow. He thought I looked scary and weird. It’s true, I do look like a fucking scarecrow. At least he’s right. That guy was really something else, and it’s sad he’s not going to be around anymore. He was really something.”

  Russell looks at Victor with an angry expression, and shakes his head at him. Russell then turns to look at Jesse who’s continuing to cry. Russell then looks at Brian who’s over at his workstation on his hands and knees, cleaning the mess that Victor just made. Russell then with his hands in his pockets, walks across the unit, and begins to speak under his breath.

  “All you guys are fucking crazy. This is some straight bullshit; I don’t know how I got this fucking involved. I wish I never met any of you. This is it, I’m outta here.”

  Russell then grabs his car keys and roams around the unit with his head down on the ground, laughing to himself. He walks over to the sofa area, and turns to look at Victor, who’s continuing to laugh holding the towel on his arm.

  “I wish I never met you. You’re the craziest, sickest, most looney tunes man I’ve ever met. I really feel sorry for you. I’m as equally sadistic for giving you the benefit of the doubt. I can’t believe you’re an actual human being. You’re like some lab experiment gone wrong. Both physically and mentally. You look like a fucking weirdo, and act like one too. I don’t know what else to say, except you’re a really scary, freaky, creepy guy. Good riddance.”

  Victor stops laughing and looks at Russell with a cold stare. Russell gives an identical stare to Victor, and sadistically laughs at Victor. Russell walks over to Brian’s bed, where Jesse remains crying. Russell smacks Jesse hard on the face, and starts to yell at him.

  “I want you to get your shit, and get out of my house. You’re such a whiny nigger faggot, that acts like a damn woman. Be a man and quit crying, or I’ll give you something to fucking cry about you fag. I’ve been patient with you this entire time, and I was silly enough to ignore it and not say anything until now. I felt sorry for you, because you’re the worst of the worst, being black and gay. I don’t give a fuck about you, so you can cry about that. Goodbye.”

  Jesse still crying, quietly looks at Russell. Russell smirks and walks away. Russell then proceeds over to Brian’s work station. Brian is continuing to clean up the mess Victor caused. Russell turns to look at Brian, and starts to admit his harsh truths about him.

  “I wish you and your friend never robbed my fucking bank. It’s because of you, we’re all fucking here. It’s all your fucking fault. You’re the one that ruined my life, so thanks a lot. So I thank you for that. I had a good job, and a good life. I had Peter. My life was perfect. You came and fucked up everything good I had. I can’t believe I gave you a second chance, I should have called the cops on you when I had the fucking chance. You fucking loser. See you never.”

  Brian keeps his attention towards cleaning the floor, and Russell walks away. Brian while he still has his vision towards cleaning the floor, responds to Russell.

  “Why the fuck are you still here then asshole? The door is that way. If we mean that much to you, why the hell are you still here man? What are you still doing here then?”

  Russell then reaches in his pocket and grabs his car keys, and walks towards the door. As he’s walking away, he kicks the cleaning materials Brian is using, and mutters under his breath.

  “I’m on my way out asshole, don’t even trip or worry about it.”

  Brian shakes his head, and continues to scrub the floor. As Russell is heading towards the door, Victor runs over to his toiletry bag, and pulls out a handgun. He runs back over to Russell and aims the gun towards the back of Russell’s head. Russell immediately stands in shock, with his back turned to Victor, as Victor continues to press the gun against the back of Russell’s head. Brian and Jesse watch in shock, as Victor starts to speak to Russell under his breath.

  “So I’m a creep right? Being that I’m a creep, if I were to pull the fucking trigger, that wouldn’t be so out of the ordinary for a creep to do, now would it? I bet you’re feeling scared aren’t you? Well, you should be. After all, I’m a creep, that’s what creeps do right? Scare people. Now, I want you to apologize not only to me, but to Brian and Jesse as well.”

  Russell then starts to laugh, and with Victor still holding the gun to his head, Russell with his back still turned, responds to Victor in an amusing cynical tone.

  “I’m not apologizing for Jack Sprat. I meant what I said, and I’ll say it all again verbatim if you want me to. All of you guys are insane, and this shit you’re currently doing is only proving my point. You’re not going to shoot me, so quit all of that.”

  Victor laughs and shoves the gun harder into Russell’s head. He then responds to him.

  “I’m not going to shoot you huh? What makes you feel so sure of that?”

  Victor quickly removes the gun from Russell’s head, and Victor aims and shoots it at the wall, nearly missing Russell by a foot or so. Russell then tries to snatch the gun away from Victor, and they wrestle on the floor. Brian walks over, and he helps Russell tackle Victor. Brian is able to successfully grab the gun away from Victor, and Russell holds Victor to the floor. Brian hides the gun away near his workstation, and walks over to where Russell and Victor are.

  “You can let him go Russell, he’s not going to do anything. Trust me.”

  Russell stops restraining Victor, and Victor then runs towards the door.

  “That’s okay, I’m going to go to my car and get my other gun. Don’t worry, I’m not going to waste any bullets on you guys. I’m going to kill myself. I can’t deal with this anymore, and it’s time for me to go. I can’t deal with this shit anymore, and I’ve had enough. It’s time for me to die, and I don’t deserve to live. Don’t any of follow me. If you guys do follow me, I will kill each and every one of you. Do not follow me.”

  Victor then runs out of the unit, and Russell, Brian and Victor then immediately chase after him. Victor jumps into his car, and proceeds to start the ignition. During the same exact instance, Russell runs towards his car, and starts the ignition, with Jesse running right behind him. Jesse gets in the rear seat. Brian swiftly locks the unit, and sits in the passenger seat of Russell’s car. At this time, Victor starts to speed away from the unit, and Russell stays right close behind him. Victor gets on the highway, and Russell continues to stay on his trail. Victor increases his speed to a high level, and weaves in and out of lanes on the highway. Russell maintains to keep close distance to Victor, and speeds up as well. Russell is determined not to let Victor out of his sight. He holds onto the steering wheel firmly. Russell shakes his head and unintentionally laughs.

  Chapter 18

  NOTHING UNDER, NOTHING OVER

  Russell continues to follow Victor down the road. Despite the fact the men seem to be under a great deal of stress and depression, also having to grieve in their own way. With Victor threatening to kill himself, it caused for the rest of the men to snap out of whatever slump that they were in. At this current time, the men feel that Victor’s mental state needs to be properly attended to. Even though all of the men in their own way deal with mental issues at a separate level and degree, they still owe it to Victor to help him out during this difficult situation the men are faced with. Forgetting all of their criminal activity that they have recently done, and adapting their minds towards giving care to someone who needs it.

  The men are only minding the fact that Victor is clearly
not taking the recent news as well as the other men are. When Victor rushed out of the unit as he did, the rest of the men could have chosen to leave him alone, and not have followed him. That seems out of instinct to be the incorrect choice to make, as they all know Victor’s personality, and feel they need to act fast. Not omitting the fact of high tensions and impulse reactions from what they witnessed all throughout the day. Also, not allowing that to be their immediate reaction and judgment towards the decisions they make. Based on everything that they have been through together over the past weeks, it’s hard for them to ignore what just happened. Fact of the matter is, Victor has threatened to take his own life. The rest of the guys feel that it does not matter if they like him, hate him, or if Victor is a complete stranger to them, it is their duty to protect and look after his mental health. If something were to happen, the rest of the guys would be overthrown with guilt. Strange that despite the men each beginning to feel distant from each other, when under the pressure that someone in their group is in need of help, they quickly step into action. They understand this is Victor’s method of crying out for the rest of them to heal him and to stand by him. Everything else unrelated to that, perhaps needs to be put aside, and discussed later. Victor is clearly not well, and the men need to access him expeditiously.

  Not having any idea as to where Victor is going, Russell, Brian and Jesse stick to following him regardless of that. Victor remains on the highway, travelling to a distant location and setting. It has now been close to an hour since they have been following Victor. Looking around the horizon, the sun is starting to set, and it’s becoming dark. The men who are following Victor, are now starting to become extremely scared at the situation. Their biggest concern is Victor ramming himself into another car, or driving off a cliff, or anything to that extent. Although, the men don’t truly feel that Victor is planning or intending to do that. Most of their assumptions wrap around the idea that Victor is most likely asking for attention.