Restrictions

by Nicole Dykes

  She smiles as her eyes meet mine. “Is something bothering you?”

  “I have a date tomorrow.”

  She smiles and laughs lightly, but it’s not cruel, not at all. “That sounds like good news. What’s the matter?”

  I shrug and watch as Baz helps Tony set the outdoor patio table with plates and silverware. “I um . . .” I turn back to her, feeling a safety with her that I never felt with my own mother. “I didn’t tell him about Sebastian, and Asher thinks I should have.”

  Nora nods her head, listening intently.

  And I hold up one hand, stressed as usual and feeling so guilty about that fact. “Please don’t think I’m terrible. It just all happened so fast, and Sebastian didn’t come up. I swear to you I think about him all the time. He’s always on my mind . . .”

  Nora places two reassuring hands on my shoulders and leans down to look me directly in the eyes. “Stop. You, my dear, are a fantastic mother.”

  I stare at her, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “Like I said, it all happened fast, and honestly I was so shocked he was asking me out on a date. I just didn’t tell him I was a mom. Which is horrible.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m not surprised at all that someone asked you out on a date. But honey, you can’t feel bad about not mentioning Sebastian during that time. People seem to forget that moms are people too. We have needs. You’re human.”

  My shoulders sag with relief when I let out the breath I was holding and see absolutely no judgment in her eyes. “He saw me, like actually saw me. Not just a mom. Which is me. I am a mom. I didn’t mean that. I know that sounds horrible.”

  And I’m rambling again. She laughs sweetly. “Sweetie, stop. It’s not horrible. You are Sebastian’s mom, and you’ve made that a priority. But you need to start making yourself a priority also.”

  “Asher thinks this guy is going to freak out when he finds out. And I’m going to tell him. Sebastian isn’t a secret or shameful to me in any way.”

  She nods and moves to my side again, leading me up to the house. “Asher is wonderful. He always has been. He was rambunctious when he was little, a lot like Sebastian and always making jokes and laughing. But then as he got older, he formed a bit of an edge. Both Lincoln and Asher seem to have that edge to them. It’s more subtle with Asher, but it’s there. The skepticism.”

  “He was certainly skeptical.”

  “He worries about you and Sebastian.”

  I smile. “We aren’t his responsibility though. I know he thinks he owes it to Colt.”

  I see her flinch slightly when I mention Colt and instantly feel bad, but then she smiles. “Well, Colt was all about responsibility, that’s for sure. But he was the one I worried about the most. He felt so much pressure all the time to be perfect.” I know that feeling well.

  “He was, wasn’t he?”

  She smiles again. “He was close. But I worried about him. Nothing in life is perfect. It’s messy. And it finally caught up to him in the worst way.”

  “Do you think Asher has taken that over?”

  She shakes her head as we reach the stairs leading up to the deck. “No. Asher is different. He cares about you and Sebastian maybe even more than himself, but he knows how to relax and find balance in life.”

  She’s not wrong about that. “Yeah. I suppose you’re right.”

  “I was happy when he said he was moving in with you guys.” She turns to me, smoothing my hair with her hand, not judging the length but comforting me like a mother should. “I think you two make a great pair.”

  Wait. Where is she going with this? “Pair?”

  “Yes. Pair. Partnership. Whatever you two have. I think your personalities will mesh well.”

  I’m secretly afraid they’re going to clash soon, but I don’t have the heart to argue with Nora.

  “I hope so. I’m grateful for his help, and he’s amazing with Sebastian.”

  “Well, Sebastian is a great kid.” She says that just in time for Baz to wrap his little arms around her legs, and we both laugh, walking up the stairs to sit down for a relaxing dinner.

  True.

  The doorbell rings, and I hear Viv holler from upstairs in her room, “Oh no! He’s early. Asher, can you please get the door?”

  Fucking great. “Yeah,” I yell back up the stairs as I pry myself from the couch and walk to the door. The last thing I want to do is greet the douchebag taking Viv out on a date tonight, but I guess I should.

  I pull open the door and look confused when Sawyer is standing there. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  She said it was a guy from class, not Sawyer. “You still pissed about the other night?”

  I nod. “Yup.” I look up the stairs and then back at Sawyer. “Are you taking Viv out?”

  “What?” Now he looks confused, ruffling his blond hair with his hand and shaking his head. “No. I’m not here for Vivienne. I thought you might want to hang out.” I look behind him, seeing no one is with him and feeling an odd sense of relief that he’s not the one taking Viv out. Although, I’m not thrilled about anyone with a dick taking her out if I’m being honest. “I didn’t bring Bianca. No worries.”

  “What the fuck was that all about?”

  He shrugs casually, placing a hand in his pocket. “I have no fucking clue, but you know she’s always had a thing for you. Maybe she’s jealous.”

  “Of Viv?”

  “Yeah. She thinks you’re fucking. I tried to set her straight, knowing that girl wears a chastity belt that’s unlockable, but she insists.”

  Kinda hope he’s right about that, I’m not gonna lie. The thought of some fucker she just met getting into her panties fills me with inexplicable rage. “We aren’t. But I’m not interested in Bianca.”

  “Probably shouldn’t have fucked her then.”

  “You’re one to talk, asshole.”

  He chuckles and nods behind me. “So, can I come in or what?”

  “I’m watching Sebastian tonight.”

  “Oh yeah? Why? Where’s Viv going?”

  I move out of the way, allowing him to walk in. “A date.”

  “Holy shit. The ice queen has a date?” I close the door behind him, irritated with the nickname.

  “Don’t call her that.”

  “Oh come on, man. It’s the perfect nickname for her. You know how many ice-cold showers Casey had to take dating her? Fucker’s balls were always blue.”

  “I don’t give a fuck about Casey’s balls.”

  He laughs and flops on the couch, propping his feet up on the ottoman and making himself at home. “Just saying. So who’s the poor sucker dating her now?”

  His attitude toward Viv pisses me the fuck off, but I assume he hit on her at one point and got turned down cold, and this is just his passive-aggressive way of handling it.

  “Some guy from school.”

  “Hope he likes cold showers.”

  “Stop, asshole. I mean it. Or I’ll kick your ass out too.”

  He laughs. “Where’s the kid?”

  “He’s helping Viv get ready. And it’s just going to be a night of cartoons and pizza. You might as well go to a party or something.”

  He shrugs. “Nah. I’m already here.” He tucks his arm behind his head, getting even more comfortable. “And besides, I like cartoons and pizza as much as the next guy.”

  “I need new friends.”

  He chuckles, but my attention is no longer on him as Baz runs down the stairs followed by Viv. And it’s her I can’t unglue my eyes from.

  Holy. Shit.

  Sawyer must notice my lack of response to whatever joke he made and turns around, letting out a low whistle as Viv approaches the last step.

  I’ve never seen her dressed like this, and I can’t look away. Her dress is navy, with thin straps and is low-cut, showing more cleavage than I’ve ever fucking seen on her. I had no idea how perky and full her tits were until now. The dress is cinched at the waist with a brown belt, showing off her tanned, tone
d calves. She left her hair down but curled it and is wearing her makeup a little darker than normal with her lips painted red.

  Fuck, she’s gorgeous.

  “Damn, Viv. You clean up nice.”

  Suddenly I have the urge to poke Sawyer’s eyes out as I walk toward her and try to come up with something to say that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole or like I want to hump her leg. “You look nice.”

  She smiles, grabbing a clutch-style purse. “Thank you.” Her eyes stay on Sawyer and then slide over to me suspiciously.

  “It’s just him. Bianca’s not here,” I assure her.

  “Yup, just here to supervise him watching the kid.” Sebastian jumps on the couch next to Sawyer, showing him his newest toy, and I laugh. Sawyer can’t be all bad if Baz likes him. The kid is an excellent judge of character.

  “Yeah, I’ll watch them both. Don’t worry.”

  She nods, still giving me the cold shoulder after how I reacted when she told me she had a date. But if she seriously thinks her being a mom won’t be a big deal, she has a rude awakening coming, and I don’t like it.

  “Thank you. I won’t be gone long.”

  “Oh, come on, Viv. You dressed up all nice.” Sawyer pivots so he’s looking over the back of the couch at her again. “You did your hair.” His eyes slide down her legs, and I feel that rage boiling back up again. “I’m sure you shaved your legs.” His eyes float higher. “Maybe other things.”

  I move my body further in front of Viv, blocking Sawyer’s view. “Shut up.”

  Baz turns his whole little body around looking at me. “Umm . . . Mommy says we aren’t supposed to say that.”

  Shit. I look at Viv, who smiles over at Baz. “That’s right. We say ‘be quiet.’”

  “Sorry, little man.” I look over at Sawyer, deadly serious. “Be. Quiet.”

  He laughs and turns back around, gaining Baz’s full attention again. I focus on Viv, keeping my voice low. “I’m sorry about the other day.”

  She noticeably tenses and tries to wave it off. “It’s fine.”

  My eyes won’t stay off her tits, and I have to mentally force myself not to keep looking down at them. What the fuck is wrong with me? “It’s not. I was an ass, but I think you should tell him sooner rather than later.”

  “He’s picking me up here. Baz is awake. It’s no big deal. He’s going to find out.”

  “You sure about this, Viv?”

  She looks so fucking frustrated, and I don’t blame her, but seriously, who is this douchebag? The doorbell rings again, and her heels click on the wood floor as she heads in that direction, looking back over her shoulder at me. “It will be fine.”

  She opens the door, letting in some frat brother, linebacker-type motherfucker with a smile that’s way too fucking bright. I don’t trust him at all as he looks her up and down, grinning like a fool. “Wow. You look amazing.”

  Viv smiles nervously, gesturing for him to come in. “Thank you. I need to grab my jacket, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

  He nods, walking inside, his eyes locking with mine, and then his grin fades instantly. “Oh, hello.”

  Viv looks back at me. “Oh, this is um . . .” She has no idea how to describe me. “This is Asher.” She turns back to her date, and I roll my eyes, annoyed by this shitshow. “He’s . . .”

  I walk over to the guy and hold out my hand for him. “Asher Sterling.”

  He nods his head, still clearly confused as he shakes my hand. “William Stanley.”

  I see his surprised expression as Sebastian runs over to his mom, grabbing her leg as she pulls her jacket from the hook. “Mommy! Are you leaving?”

  Here we go.

  William looks down at Baz and then back at Viv. “Mommy?”

  Vivienne is clearly anxious as she slips her arms through her jacket and brushes her hand over the top of Sebastian’s head. “Yes. This is my son, Sebastian.”

  He nods to Sebastian and gives him a weak wave. Baz just holds onto his mom, eyeing the stranger. William then looks back at me. “You’re his father?”

  I shake my head. “Uncle.”

  “It’s a really long story.” Vivienne fluffs her hair and zips her jacket. “I’ll tell you all about it over dinner, if you still want to go.”

  William looks over at her again, his smile back. “Of course.” But I don’t miss the hesitance.

  Does she?

  “Great.” She kneels down in front of Sebastian. “I’m going out to eat with my friend William. Will you do me a huge favor and watch Sawyer and Asher? I’m not sure they should be left home alone.”

  She’s good.

  Sebastian nods his head with determination. “I can do it.”

  “Good boy. Mommy won’t be gone long, okay?” She kisses his nose and gives him a great big hug before standing and joining this William asshole.

  “Okay, Mommy. Have fun. I stay here.”

  She smiles, and I know it’s hard for her to leave him. Especially for something she wants to do for herself. I shouldn’t make it any harder on her.

  I walk them to the door. “He’ll be fine.”

  She smiles at that, and I see her take a nervous breath. “Thank you. I won’t be out late.”

  I don’t look at her date. “Have a good time. You deserve nothing but the best.” I eye this new fucker, giving him a silent warning as he motions for her to go with him.

  “Shall we?”

  She nods, and I watch them go out to his BMW, closing the door and joining Sawyer and Baz on the couch.

  “Pizza?” Sebastian asks hopefully, and I laugh, pulling my phone out of my pocket to order some.

  My mind on Viv on her date.

  He better not hurt her, or I’ll rearrange his pretty little face.

  Well that was insanely awkward, and the car ride to the restaurant is even worse, filled with silence and the occasional small talk about the weather and the construction on the road to the restaurant.

  When we’re seated and have ordered, the awkward level is just ratcheted up high when William grips the back of his neck, clears his throat and says, “So, you’re a mom.”

  I nod my head slowly and take an anxious sip of water. “Yes. Obviously, I was young when I got pregnant.”

  “Yeah. And the dad? Is he in the picture?”

  “No.” I place my napkin in my lap. “He died in an accident before Sebastian was born.”

  “That’s awful.” He’s seems genuine in his questioning, and I have to give him credit for not running out to his car in my driveway and taking off, but maybe he’s just too nice to do that.

  “It was.”

  “And Asher is his brother?”

  I nod. “Yes. He’s been a godsend, really. Helped a lot.”

  “Yeah, I can’t imagine you have a lot of free time.”

  That’s definitely true. “I mean, I’m still human. I have to make some time for myself.”

  At least that’s what people, the news, talk shows, parenting articles, and Asher all tell me.

  “That’s true. I just didn’t think you would have too much free time at all. Three-year-olds have a ton of energy from what I’ve seen.”

  I don’t get the impression he’s been around too many kids.

  They bring our food out, and we eat mostly in silence, but slipping in some conversation about school. He pays the check and then drives me home.

  “I had fun tonight. Thank you for going out with me, Vivienne.”

  I can feel the brush-off coming. The restaurant took us over thirty minutes to get to. We waited nearly an hour to be seated and then another forty-five minutes for our dinner. We’ve been gone almost three hours, and in that time, we talked for maybe twenty minutes.

  This date was most certainly not fun.

  It was boring. He was bored. I was bored. And it all started when he saw I was a mother. I despise the fact that Asher was right.

  I take a deep breath and place my hand on the door handle, ready for this date to be over, b
ut something else washes over me. The need to be clear and honest as I drop my hand and turn to William. “No. It wasn’t fun.”

  His eyes widen as he looks at me, panicked by my abrupt honesty. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Me having a kid is a lot.”

  “I’m twenty-one. I didn’t picture becoming a dad for another ten years.”

  I nod. “Right, but you aren’t becoming a dad. We could have talked about movies. Or . . . I don’t know, your last vacation.”

  “Where was your last vacation?”

  I think about that. “Sea World in San Antonio. Sebastian was really into dolphins over the summer.”

  He nods. “Cool. I went to Europe.”

  I stare at him and feel like a total moron. What was I thinking? I actually let out an honest to god laugh, and now he looks even more alarmed.

  “Are . . . Are you okay?”

  I laugh again and shake my head. “You’re totally right. We would never work. Like ever. You probably love going to parties on the weekend, and I take my kid to the zoo or children’s museums. The last movie I watched was The Lion King and we had to leave the theater half-way through because Sebastian was over it.” I place my hand over my chest and laugh again, but it’s getting less funny. “The last book I read was Paw Patrol. We have nothing in common.”

  “You’re fucking gorgeous. And great.”

  I laugh again. “You have no idea who I am.”

  He looks saddened by that, but he can’t argue. He didn’t want to get to know me after he found out I was a mom. “I’m sorry.”

  “No.” I turn to face him, putting my hand back on the door handle. “Don’t be. You could have done something way worse tonight and didn’t.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like lead me on and make me think there was a future.”

  “I wouldn’t do that. Anyone who dates you dates your kid too, and I’m an asshole but not that big of an asshole. I’m not mature enough to date a single mom, and I know it.”

  “I can appreciate that.”

  “I did have a good time, Vivienne.”

  I smile and open the door. “Thank you for dinner.”