Jane Doe

by Lillian Duncan

  “I’m confused.”

  “I know you are. That’s partly from the drugs we’ve been giving to keep you pain-free, and partly from the accident.”

  “So I was in a car accident?”

  “Ahh, not exactly.”

  The heart monitor started beeping.

  “Then what exactly?”

  He turned to the monitor, made a few adjustments and then turned back to her. “Look, I’m not really supposed to say anything, but I can see not knowing is causing you stress. And that’s the last thing you need.”

  Even as he said the words, she could feel her body relaxing. “You gave me more drugs, didn’t you?”

  “Just a tad. And only what the doctor ordered.”

  “So what happened to me?” Her tongue was feeling thick. She needed the answer before the drugs took over.

  “We’re really not sure, sweetie. You’ll have to be the one to tell us. The important thing is you’re safe now.” There was that word again. She started to protest but he held up a hand. “It’s really not that important. What’s important is for you to get some rest.”

  Raven wanted to disagree but…

  Her sister was back in the room when she woke up the next time. Raven took a deep breath and smiled. Her sister’s sweet scent—a mixture of perfume and peanut butter. With her eyes still closed, she said, “Hi, sis.”

  “How’d you know I was here? You haven’t even opened your eyes yet.”

  She opened them. Her sister was sitting in a chair next to her bed. “I smelled peanut butter.”

  “Oh. I was hungry. and the vending machine had those little peanut butter crackers I love. So you know I ate some.”

  “Is that policeman still waiting for me?”

  “No, that nurse should be a bouncer. The sheriff won’t be back until the doctor gives him permission. That was my mistake. I shouldn’t have let him come in with me, but he’s been worried about you, too.”

  “I’m confused, Amanda. I don’t understand any of this. Why am I in a hospital in Maryland and not at home? What happened to me? Why can’t I remember anything? That nurse—what was his name—Des—something like that.”

  “Desmond.”

  “Desmond wouldn’t tell me why I was in Maryland. How did I get here? What happened?”

  Her sister smiled, but there were tears in her eyes. “Do you remember anything?”

  Raven tried to think but her mind was a blank. “No…I…I can’t remember anything.”

  “I don’t know what happened to you either, but you were found unconscious on the banks of the Cacapon River in West Virginia. And eventually you ended up here. At the Cumberland Medical Center in Maryland.”

  “I was found in a river? In West Virginia? That can’t be right.”

  “But it is.”

  “What river did you say?” She was having trouble making sense any of this.

  “The Cacapon River. Actually where that river comes into the Potomac. And I don’t know what happened to you or how you got there. That’s why the sheriff wants to talk to you. To ask you what happened. That’s all.”

  Raven stared at the wall. “I don’t know. I can’t remember. Anything.”

  “Don’t get stressed about it. The doctor said that might happen. Because of the head injury.”

  “I have a head injury?”

  “Among other things.”

  Raven looked down at herself. Both legs were wrapped in something like bubble wrap. One arm was immobilized as well. She looked at her injuries—she should be in pain, lots of pain. “I see what you mean. Why don’t I hurt?”

  “The drugs are keeping you comfortable.”

  “Must be a lot of drugs.”

  “But they might be why you’re not remembering. You’ll probably remember more as they lessen your pain meds.”

  Raven wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember. From the looks of her injuries, something bad must have happened to her. Why couldn’t she remember? “OK. Tired.” She needed to rest…just for a minute.

  5

  The next time she woke up her sister was sitting in a chair with her head back sleeping. Amanda’s mouth was open, and she was snoring. She must be exhausted to be able to sleep in that position. It looked quite uncomfortable.

  Raven fought the urge to call out to Amanda. But she looked as if she needed the rest. No one else was in the room. She closed her eyes, trying to remember. It didn’t work. When she opened her eyes, her sister was staring at her. “You’re awake.”

  “I’ve been awake. You were the one snoring.”

  Amanda wiped at the drool on her mouth. “I don’t snore.”

  “So you say, sis.”

  A woman in a white jacket marched in. She was on the short side and probably in her fifties. Her short brown hair had a reddish tint. Though she was diminutive, she had an air of authority about her. She slipped on glasses as she picked up a chart. After reading it, she turned her attention to Raven and smiled. “I’m Dr. Schaeffer. Melly Schaeffer. My patients usually call me Dr. Melly. It’s good to see you awake, finally.”

  “Finally? How long have I been here?”

  “I’ll answer your questions as best I can, but you have to remain calm. If you get too upset, I’ll have to up your medications, and I’ll need to leave along with your sister. Without answering your questions.” Dr. Melly’s gaze was sharp.

  “What day is it?”

  “First, I need your promise.”

  Raven stared at the doctor. What would she say that would be so upsetting she needed a promise to be calm? Had she killed the driver in the other car? That would explain why the sheriff had been here. The machine beeped as her heart rate increased. She took a deep breath. And another. The beeping slowed and then stopped. “I promise.”

  “Good. Now before I answer you, I have a few questions of my own. I’d like you to take a guess on the date.”

  Raven wasn’t in the mood for games. But the doctor didn’t seem to be joking. “OK, well…I’ll say I’ve been here around a week so that would make this about May twelfth.”

  Amanda gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth as if to stop herself from speaking. Her gaze flew to the doctor.

  The doctor stayed focused on Raven. She gave a small encouraging nod. “OK. So that’s interesting.”

  “Well, how close was I?”

  “I have a few more questions before I tell you.”

  “You promised to tell me.”

  “And I will, Raven. Is that what you want me to call you? Raven?”

  “That’s my name.” Raven was her name but…something else about a name. Something important. Brushing the thought away, she focused on the doctor. She’d think about that later. “I just want to know what day it is.”

  “I understand that. I’m really sorry to be acting all mysterious. I don’t mean to do that, but I need to know a few things. Can you tell me the last thing you do remember? Before waking up in the hospital?”

  She’d been trying to do that while Amanda slept. She closed her eyes. What was the last thing she’d been doing? Nothing. A blank screen. “I…I can’t remember.”

  “OK. No problem. Can you tell me where you live?”

  “I…I live in Marietta. Ohio.” She looked over at Amanda. “Right?”

  “Right.” Her sister looked as if she might pass out. What was going on here?

  “And what kind of a job do you have, Raven?”

  “I’m a writer. For the Marietta News. An investigative reporter, mostly. I do some freelancing as well.”

  “Very good. And what’s the last memory you have about work?”

  “Oh, now I remember. I just finished a three-part series on the presidential race. It got picked up by several papers.” Something nudged her brain. Had she been working on something else? Apparently not or she’d remember. “I was going to celebrate with Marnie. She’s my boss.”

  “And did you? Go with your boss?”

  “I…I…don’t know. Can’t remember.” She
closed her eyes. “Wait a minute, I remember getting dressed and…” She stopped. “And that’s all I can remember.”

  “That’s very good, Raven.”

  “So what day is it?”

  “Remember you promised not to get upset.”

  Her stomach churned as she nodded. Whatever the doctor said would change her life. She took a deep breath. “I’ll do my best.”

  Her sister grabbed her hand and squeezed.

  “It’s September second.”

  Her mind stopped working. “I…what…that can’t be right. Are you sure? That would mean I’ve been unconscious for months.”

  The doctor nodded. “No, you’ve only been in the hospital for four days.”

  “Four days? Then how can it be September? You’re not making sense.” The monitor was beeping.

  “I need you to stay calm.”

  “But what happened? I don’t understand.”

  Beeping.

  Amanda squeezed her hand, but tears slid down her cheeks.

  More beeping. And then she started to cry, too. How could this be?

  “I’m sorry you’re upset. We’ll talk more later.” The doctor turned to the machine.

  A moment later, Raven’s eyelids fluttered closed.

  6

  “I filed a missing-persons report on you on May fifth.”

  “I was missing?”

  The doctor was gone when Raven woke up. But Amanda was there, as always. Raven was doing her best to stay calm. None of it made any sense to her. But if the beeping started, they’d give her more medicine, and she’d never get any answers to her questions.

  “Yes. You never showed up at the restaurant that night. On May third. You texted Marnie that you would be late for dinner. She was concerned when you didn’t show up. She just figured something came up. Probably a story you were working on, but when you didn’t show up at work the next day, she called me. We spent the day calling you and your friends. Nobody knew where you were. You just disappeared into thin air. The next day I drove down and filed the report with the Marietta Police.”

  “Where have I been all that time?”

  “We have no idea.” Amanda’s hands raised in an I-don’t-know gesture. “The police eventually found your car at the West Virginia Welcome Center. Do you remember driving there?”

  Raven closed her eyes, picturing the welcome center across the river. She knew it well. “Last time I went there was when we went to Parkersburg to shop for the kids at Christmas time, remember?”

  “I remember. It was a good day.” Amanda’s voice was soft. “Can you think of a reason why you needed to go to West Virginia?”

  Raven closed her eyes and then popped them back open. “Nothing. I can’t remember even being there that night. I remember getting dressed to go meet Marnie and….that’s it. My mind just goes blank.”

  Dr. Schaeffer walked back in. She looked at Amanda. “How’s the patient?”

  “Much better. She’s being very calm.”

  “I upped the dosage a bit. To help.”

  “Doctor, why can’t I remember anything?”

  “It’s probably a combination of things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Your injuries, the pain medication, and…” The doctor sighed. “And to be honest, your mind might not want to remember.”

  “But I do want to remember.”

  “A part of you does, but the other part might want to protect you from the truth of what happened to you. At this point, remembering is not a priority. Your physical condition is my concern.” She smiled at Raven. “I’m sure all you’ve heard is distressing. I know it would be for me. But I need you to relax and let the healing begin. We can worry about those details later.”

  Raven pointed at her battered body. “Is that even possible? For me to heal? Look at me.”

  “With God, all things are possible, Raven.”

  “You’re a believer.”

  “I most certainly am. God is the true healer, not me. I may not know what happened to you, but I can tell you that it wasn’t your time to go home.”

  Raven stared. Something about the doctor’s words triggered a memory—almost. Then it was gone. She shook her head in frustration. “I need to remember. I have to remember. It’s important. Why can’t I remember anything?”

  “It could be the head injury you sustained in the fall. Your tox screen showed that you had drugs in your system as well. Something popularly known as a date rape drug. It messes with your memory as well as incapacitates you. One of the reasons rapists use it. And there were other drugs as well.”

  Date rape drug? Had she been raped? She didn’t want to think about that. “You think I was in a fall?”

  She nodded. “You were found in the Cacapon River near the Potomac. It’s a beautiful area actually. Lots of mountains and cliffs. Your injuries are consistent with a fall from a high altitude.”

  “Do you mean I was thrown off a mountain? And I’m still alive?”

  Dr. Melly smiled. “As I said it wasn’t your time to go home.”

  7

  “Today’s the big day, huh?” Sheriff Matthew Borden walked. He’d visited several times and was always smiling in spite of his frustration with the ongoing investigation about her abduction.

  Since Raven couldn’t remember anything, the police had virtually no leads to discover what happened to her or who was responsible for it. Most likely, she would never know what happened to her in the months she’d disappeared. Unless she started remembering.

  Dr. Melly said that was a definite possibility, but Raven wasn’t so sure. When she tried to remember, her mind was blank. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it, Sheriff.” Raven was in a wheelchair waiting to be transferred to a rehab center. She’d been in the hospital for almost a month but still couldn’t walk and her pain was overwhelming at times.

  Dr. Melly assured her it would get better, eventually.

  Raven wasn’t so sure. There were times she wished she’d die in the fall.

  “I just stopped in to say good-bye and to let you know that I’ll still be working on your case.” The sheriff smiled again. “Just because you’re out of sight doesn’t mean you’ll be out of mind. Somebody hurt you, and they need to be held accountable for that. And I plan to make sure they do.”

  That wouldn’t change the fact that her life was ruined. She forced a smile. “I appreciate that.”

  “If you remember anything, no matter how small or insignificant, you give me a call. Any little thing could make the difference.”

  “I will, but you didn’t have to drive all this way to tell me that.” He was a sheriff of Morgan County, West Virginia, where she’d been found. Cumberland, Maryland was out of his jurisdiction.

  “I really came to say good-bye and to tell you that you’ve got a lot of people praying for you and your recovery.” He patted her shoulder. “It’s bad right now, but it will get better.”

  Would that ever happen? She couldn’t imagine, but with God all things were possible. “Thank you, Sheriff. I’m really sorry I can’t remember anything to help with the investigation.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m just glad you’ll be all right.” He paused. “Eventually. I know it’s rough right now and will be for a while, but I have a good feeling about you. You got this.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “I do.” Dr. Schaeffer walked in. “I’m with Sheriff Borden. You’re stronger than you think, Raven. Most people wouldn’t have survived that fall. You did. And God has a reason for that.”

  “I can’t imagine what that could be.”

  “Maybe not now but eventually you’ll find God’s purpose. Remember to keep your eyes on God, not your circumstances. He promises to never forsake us. Believe in that promise, Raven, and you’ll be OK.”

  How could she believe that when she felt so alone—so forsaken? If God loved her, why did she have to suffer so much? As soon as she had the thought, another thought came.
God’s own Son had to suffer—even more than she. She nodded as if to tell God she understood. “I’ll try.”

  “And I expect you to let me know how you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be every day or even every week but email me every now and then to update me on your progress. OK?” Dr. Melly’s stern gaze told Raven she meant it.

  “If I ever have any progress, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

  “You will heal. I promise, Raven.”

  Raven didn’t want to argue the point. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. And I’ll email you soon. I promise.”

  “It’s been a pleasure working with you. You’ve been a wonderful patient.”

  “That’s because I had a wonderful doctor.”

  Dr. Schaeffer’s cheeks reddened, and then she allowed a small smile. “So, Sheriff, I’m assuming still no leads.”

  “You assume right.”

  The doctor looked back at Raven. “Just because you can’t remember now doesn’t mean you won’t at some point in the future. I’ve been doing some research on memory loss, and it seems that memories are never really lost. So you might still remember even months from now. Anything could trigger a memory. A song, a picture. Even a smell.”

  “I hope that’s true. I hate the thought of whoever did this to me getting away with it.”

  Sheriff Borden patted her shoulder. “Me, too.”

  Amanda walked in followed by a man in a white uniform. “Time to go, Raven, if you’ve said your good-byes.” She pointed at Raven. “That’s the patient.”

  Raven laughed. “I think he probably figured that out, Amanda.”

  Her sister laughed too. “I guess that’s true. Ready to go home, Raven?”

  Except she wasn’t going home or returning to her life. Her old life was over—at least for the foreseeable future. She would be living at the Holmes County Nursing and Rehab center near Millersburg, Ohio, where Amanda and her family lived, to make it easier on her sister.

  Raven had no idea when she’d be healthy enough to resume her old life—if ever. At this point, she’d be happy with being able to walk to the bathroom on her own again.

  One plane trip, two ambulance rides, and six hours later, Raven sat in the room that would be her home for the foreseeable future—barely more than a hospital room. She tried to be happy, but all she felt was despair. Would this nightmare ever end? With two broken legs and numerous other injuries, Raven couldn’t see an end. Or a beginning. No end to her pain. And no beginning to resume her life. As much as she hated it, she was at the mercy of others.