Dark Memento

by Katie Reus

  “Yep. Dinner’s really good too…” Harper continued, talking at warp speed, replaying her day until Serenity kissed her on the forehead.

  “Sweetheart, I need to talk to Lucas for a second. Can you wait for us in the kitchen?”

  It was clear Harper was going to protest until Lincoln stepped forward, slightly shaking his head. “I can’t believe my brother actually cooked dinner. This I’ve gotta see.”

  Harper nodded enthusiastically. “He did. I’ll show you. Can I see your badge? Do you have a gun? Have you ever arrested bad guys?” she asked, firing off even more questions as they headed into the kitchen.

  As soon as they were out of sight and earshot, Serenity wrapped her arms around herself. He wished they were his arms instead. Stress lines bracketed her mouth, her blue eyes filled with something he’d seen more than enough times on the battlefield. Raw fear.

  Lucas took a step forward, and without thinking pulled her into his arms. It was clear she needed comfort, and even if they weren’t where he wanted them to be relationship-wise, she was still his friend. No matter what, he’d always be her friend and look out for her.

  Shuddering, she leaned into his embrace and wrapped her arms tight around him. “Thank you so much for picking her up.”

  “You don’t ever have to thank me for something like that.” He inhaled her sweet scent, a vanilla and raspberry combination that was probably just her shampoo. Whatever it was, it was now embedded in his brain. Anytime he smelled either scent he thought of Serenity. Hell, pretty much anything made him think of Serenity. The woman had gotten deep under his skin and clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Yeah, I do. God, Lucas…” Her grip tightened as she laid her cheek against his chest.

  When she didn’t continue, he leaned back to look at her. “Lincoln told me someone left something on your car. A prank, potentially more?” And even though he knew right now wasn’t about him, he was pissed she hadn’t told him herself.

  She swallowed hard, that pop of fear visible in her expression again. “Oh God, I don’t even know how to say it. When my sister and I were taken, that monster took all our jewelry.”

  He stiffened at her words. She’d never talked about what happened to her and he’d never asked. He hadn’t known her when she was younger—he’d been overseas trying to stay alive—but he’d heard some details from his family about the Washington sisters and her being the sole survivor of a serial killer case that had rocked this entire region.

  “After I was rescued the authorities never found our stuff—or any of the previous victims’ belongings. And he would never tell the FBI where he’d stashed it all. But someone left my sister’s bracelet on my windshield tonight.”

  A protectiveness like Lucas had never known swept through him. He tightened his hold on her. “You’re sure it’s hers?”

  “Not one hundred percent. It could be a replica. But…it looks just like hers.”

  Even if it was a replica, it was creepy as hell that someone would have copied it in such detail. “What did they find on the security recordings at the station?”

  “A hooded figure approached my vehicle but even when they zoomed in it was impossible to see any facial features or even body type.”

  Lucas planned to look at the video himself, but just nodded. He didn’t care if he had a right to view it or not, he’d convince his brother to let him see it. “What—”

  “I’ll tell you everything later. I just need to be with Harper right now. I don’t want her to have any idea that something is wrong.” The desperation in her voice clawed at him.

  “Fine, but I’m staying the night.”

  She stepped back fully from him, her hands dropping to her sides as she looked up at him with a mixture of shock and…something he couldn’t quite define. “What?”

  Ready for an argument, he crossed his arms over his chest. His mom had already picked Daisy up, so if Serenity brought that up, he was covered. “I’m staying.” Because there was no way in hell he was leaving her alone tonight.

  Chapter 5

  “But Daisy—”

  “Is with my mom.”

  Serenity watched Lucas for a long moment and realized that any argument she had was going to be pointless. “So…you’re staying.” She couldn’t even phrase it as a question because the answer was clear.

  “Yep.”

  She hadn’t realized how stubborn he could be, but watching that far too handsome face, she could see raw determination in his green eyes. “I don’t have the energy to argue.” And okay, she was unnerved by what had happened. Having a military-trained man in the house was definitely a good thing. Even if she had a security system, Lucas offered far more safety.

  The tense line of his shoulders loosened and he half-smiled. “Good.”

  And that was that.

  Lucas took over things shockingly fast, so subtly it surprised her. Once his brother left, he served both of them dinner, scooping out the cheesy goodness onto plates as he basically ordered her to sit and eat while Harper read to them.

  The warmth of the food spread through her, mingling with the warmth that came from watching Harper and Lucas. Harper had adjusted incredibly well to her dad dying, maybe because Serenity had. Or more likely because she was a kid and they simply adapted to life in a way that was much harder for adults. She hated that her daughter had known loss so young but she was glad for her resilience.

  “How was that, Mommy?” Harper asked as she shut her book.

  Serenity grinned as she set her fork down. “Perfect. You’re getting better and better.”

  “No one is perfect,” Harper said primly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

  Serenity snorted. “Well, your reading was close to it.”

  Harper simply grinned and reached for an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table. She had to be going through a growth spurt because all she did lately was eat.

  “Thank you for cooking dinner.” Serenity focused on Lucas as she pushed her plate away. She’d barely eaten half of it, and even though it was delicious, her stomach was too tight to eat any more. The day’s events had put a black cloud over everything and it would take her time to re-center herself.

  Lucas looked at her plate and for a moment it appeared as if he wanted to say more, but he simply nodded. “I know you need to get Harper ready for bed, so I’ll take care of the dishes.”

  “It’s shower time!” Harper shouted, jumping off her chair, apple forgotten.

  As of a week ago, Harper had decided that she wanted to take showers instead of baths. It was such a small thing but she was showing her independence. Which made Serenity happy, but at the same time it reminded her how fast her little girl was growing up.

  “You can just leave this,” Serenity said to Lucas. “I’ll get it when we’re done.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “So I’m just going to sit on my a…butt and do nothing?” He shook his head and picked up her plate.

  Okay, when he put it that way, she was fine with him doing the dishes. Still, it felt weird that he was helping out and being all domestic in her home. Weird and good. Part of her really liked having a partner to help out, but the other part of her—the one who had let her husband take over everything—instinctively pushed back. She’d gotten so used to doing everything by herself and she wasn’t sure she was ready to give up any of her control.

  “All right, Harper, let’s go get ready for bed.”

  “I want four stories after shower time,” Harper said as they left the room, automatically grabbing Serenity’s hand in hers.

  She never got tired of feeling that little hand in her own. “One.”

  “Three.”

  “Two,” Serenity said as part of the game they played every single night.

  Harper giggled. “Two is good.”

  Serenity knew her daughter would pick the longest books she had, of course. But she didn’t mind.

  “Is Mr. Lucas staying tonight?” Harper asked.

 
Serenity was surprised by Harper’s perceptiveness, but he was here pretty late and he’d cooked them dinner. Which was a far cry from their ordinary nights. “Yes. In the guest room.”

  “Kind of like a sleepover, huh?”

  “Exactly like a sleepover. He won’t stay over all the time, just tonight.” She felt she needed to stress that.

  “What about Daisy?”

  “She’s with his mom right now.”

  “I love Mrs. Jordan. She always gives me treats when I see her.”

  Serenity nodded because she was well aware of that. Louise Jordan was definitely a force of nature. And considering she’d raised three boys, that was to be expected.

  Serenity and Harper quickly went through their routine of shower time, her brushing out her daughter’s hair and braiding it, then story time. By the time Serenity was done, she found Lucas sitting at her kitchen table, his laptop open. And the kitchen looked pristine.

  Okay, she could admit that coming into a clean kitchen was pretty sweet. “Hey, thanks for cooking and cleaning.”

  His mouth lifted into a half-smile, revealing one of those damn dimples. “Gotta earn my keep.”

  Snorting, she crossed over to the table. “Seriously. Thank you. For everything. There aren’t a lot of people I would trust to pick Harper up from school.” She had a lot of friends, but she was very picky about who she would trust with her daughter. Experience had taught her to be careful about everyone. Lucas was one of those people her gut instinct told her she could trust with anything.

  Just not her heart. She would never risk that again. She’d blindly given up control to Olsen—of their finances and pretty much everything else. When he’d died, it had been a wake-up call.

  “Of course. I’m just sorry about the circumstances.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Sighing, she rubbed the back of her neck as she felt a tension headache coming on. “The anniversary of Savannah’s death is a month away,” she found herself saying before she realized she’d planned to open up to him.

  He paused for only a moment, then shut his laptop, giving her his full attention. “I didn’t realize it was so soon.”

  She nodded once. “Yeah. I always think it will get easier, but every year it’s just as hard.” Hell, it was hard every day but she’d learned to live with that dull ache in her chest. It was impossible to describe to someone who didn’t have a twin what losing one was like. And especially the horrific way she’d lost hers. It truly was like she’d lost a part of herself.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She paused and shook her head. “Maybe later. I’m exhausted. And I need a shower.” She’d had a long day at the shop and she was pretty sure she smelled like wet dog.

  “Go ahead. I’ve already grabbed my bag from the truck. You can set the alarm.”

  She paused as she stood. “You had a bag with you?”

  “I always do. In case of emergency. It’s my go bag.”

  “I bet you’re one of those people who has a whole emergency kit in the back of their vehicle too?”

  He grinned in confirmation.

  She laughed lightly. “I actually do too.” Because she knew better than anyone that tragedy could happen at any moment.

  His smile faded as he watched her, the heat and electricity arcing between them almost tangible. So much so that she took a step back before she was completely sucked in. Damn. This should not be happening.

  Serenity muttered something she hoped made sense before hurrying from the room. She had no business getting involved with Lucas Jordan. Especially not right now.

  No good could come of that. Her life was safe, drama free—or it had been until today.

  * * *

  Drip. Drip. Drip.

  Serenity struggled with the bindings and her rage as she toppled to the ground. She was still bound to the board. Pain split through her shoulder as she struggled with her bindings, finally getting free. Oh God, she was free. She had to get out of here, had to save Savannah.

  The front door swung open and he was standing there.

  No!

  Black holes were where his eyes should be as he strode toward her, gripping a knife in his left hand. Her adrenaline spiked as she drew in a breath to scream for help she knew was never coming—

  Serenity jolted upright in bed, her breathing jagged.

  It was a dream. Or a nightmare.

  And it was always the same. He came back before she had a chance to get away.

  Covered in a thin layer of sweat, she stripped off her pajama top and shorts and took a quick, cool shower, rinsing off before she tugged on a new pair of pajamas.

  It was three thirty in the morning and she still needed a couple more hours of sleep, but she wasn’t so sure she’d be getting them now. Sleep rarely came after a nightmare.

  Sighing, she headed to the kitchen, ready to make some tea. But she stopped short when she found Lucas standing at one of the countertops, his back to her.

  He glanced over his shoulder even though she didn’t think she’d made a sound. “Hey,” he said quietly, shifting enough that she realized he was making coffee.

  “You’re up early,” she murmured, stepping into the room and trying not to notice that he was shirtless. Damn, the man was built.

  He nodded and pulled down a mug for her. “Want some?”

  “Yeah, thanks.” She definitely wasn’t going back to sleep now.

  “Why are you up?”

  She thought about lying, but Lucas had been pretty incredible. If he couldn’t handle the truth, the reality of who she was, then there wasn’t room for a relationship with him anyway… No, she didn’t even want to go down that path. It wasn’t like they had the chance at a relationship. Still, she would give him the truth. The man was former military—he could handle this. “I had a nightmare.”

  He nodded. “I understand. I have them too.”

  She paused as she pulled a bottle of creamer from the fridge, surprised he was being so up-front about something so personal. “Because of your time in Afghanistan?”

  “Yeah.” His jaw tightened slightly as he poured a mug for her.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asked.

  “Not now.”

  She could definitely appreciate that. “Did you ever talk to anybody about…your nightmares?”

  “Yeah, at the VA. For a little while anyway. Then I started writing therapy.”

  “I’ve heard of that. Does it work?” Her own therapist had suggested it years ago but she’d never been able to put pen to paper.

  “It does. At least it does for me. I don’t see a therapist anymore. I didn’t actually see one for long. I understand why some people go, but I just couldn’t open up to someone on a constant basis. That’s where the journaling works. It’s cathartic.”

  She’d seen a therapist years ago, and she was grateful for it, but it hadn’t been a long-term thing for her either. Maybe she should try the journaling as well. Writing down her nightmares just felt so daunting. “That’s where you write about your dreams—or nightmares or memories—and then throw them away, right?”

  “It’s not just one thing, but yeah. I write about my nightmares in the present tense then burn them. It’s supposed to sort of rewire the brain to file the trauma into the past—where it belongs. For me, it feels symbolic.” He rubbed the back of his head once. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

  Surprised he’d opened up so much to her, she was quiet as she doctored her coffee the way she liked it and leaned against the countertop. It was weird to be here with him, getting intensely personal, and she wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He was so capable and strong, she’d never thought of him as vulnerable or…traumatized. Whereas she felt as if she struggled every damn day to hide her pain. As if she was barely keeping a lid on the crap from her past.

  He stood at the countertop next to her, his body language casual enough, but there was a palpable energy rolling off him. “What time does Harper normally wake up?”<
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  “Six thirty on the dot. My little girl does not sleep in. Not even on weekends.” Good thing Serenity didn’t usually sleep in either.

  He laughed lightly. “Yeah, my brothers and I were like that. My mom said she usually ran on three hours of sleep, though I think she was exaggerating.”

  “Or maybe not,” Serenity murmured, taking a sip of her coffee. She could imagine how wild the Jordan boys had been.

  “Yeah, maybe not,” he conceded, that grin back in place.

  “So what project are you working on now?” she asked, forcing her gaze to remain on his face and not on all that bare expanse of skin. It was like he didn’t even realize he was shirtless and making her crazy. Right now she really wished that she’d had a normal life and that things between them were different. That he was in her kitchen because he’d stayed the night and…

  She bit back a sigh. There was no sense wishing for something different. Because things weren’t. If they were, Savannah would be alive.

  “A new retirement center,” he said, cutting into her thoughts. “A fairly small one compared to some of the other jobs we’ve done, but it’s a great contract.”

  “Good.” She paused, fighting the awkwardness stretching out between them. They had coffee together multiple times a week and she had no problem talking. But this was different. He’d stayed at her house and now they were sitting at her kitchen table drinking coffee while he was half naked. It was all too…weird. Too intimate. Too much. “I dream about that night all the time,” she blurted, then inwardly chastised herself. What the hell was this diarrhea of the mouth?

  He set his coffee down, all his attention on her.

  “Sorry—”

  He frowned. “Don’t apologize.”

  She shoved out a breath. “Okay. I…I have different dreams. Nightmares, I mean. I often have the same one where I escape—which I did. But in this scenario, I get free of the bindings and instead of breaking out of that cabin, he shows up before I can get out. He’s a disembodied version of himself and he’s carrying a knife.” The words poured out of her but it was freeing to get them out. “Then I wake up.”